One evening I flew into O’Hare needing to surprise our Quad Cities staffers in the morning for regular unannounced audits. Being so close to Chicago and having access to any of our cars in Chicagoland meant that I could drive there if I wanted a break from flying, which I usually did. I got tired flying all the time, so it was a nice change of pace to be on the ground.
I was nicknamed, “the Seagull”, because like that bird I would fly in unwelcome, eat their food, poop on them, then fly away. It was part of the job to keep my audits as reflective of everyday business as possible, so my visits were always unannounced and usually unwelcome. Only my parents, boss, travel agent, and department secretary knew where I was and would be going. The only exception to this rule was Hawaii because to offset costs, I stayed in expensive complimentary suites which needed to be prearranged with each resort on every island. I was told phones would start ringing the moment someone internally learned that I left our headquarters in the Loop to do my job.
I usually drove new big luxury cars. I wanted to be safe and surrounded by a padded luxurious mass. Most locations gave me their newest and best rides while praying for a good audit report. My usual rides were Lincolns, Cadillacs, Mercedes, Audis or Corvettes and similar sports cars. I was always aware that I drove cars I couldn’t afford. When I got the keys to a Corvette, Z, RX or something similar, I was very aware that the car could unleash the devil in me and I could screw up. I was always careful. In all the years I spent on the road, I had only one moment when a driver speeding along the Kennedy Expressway was too busy littering to see my new Town Car stopped in traffic, and he ended up driving his Ninety-Eight into it’s trunk. He ended up in the hospital, and I ended up being in awe of a Panther’s survival instinct when jumped from behind.
This is about the time I got surprised by a Mercury Tracer LTS.
The 1991 Tracer shared with the Ford Escort, the Mazda B plaform, so it was peripherally related to the Mazda 323, and the Protege. This was a much better vehicle than the previous first generation Escort based car known as the Mercury Lynx, or the Mazda 323 based Mercury Tracer, sold around the Pacific as the Ford Laser. The LTS took Ford to a level of sportiness the EXP never came close to achieving.
Instead of the Ford 88 hp, 1.9 liter, single cam base engine, the LTS had the Mazda 1.8 liter, 127 hp, twin cam, 16 valve, four cylinder that launched this little 2500 pound car like nothing else in its class. While it had an automatic, it was a new four speed. (I would have loved a five speed manual, but we can’t rent those in the States.) The LTS had better wheels being stopped by discs all around and between you and those wheels was independent rear suspension and large anti-roll bars.
It looked like a regular Tracer or Escort of that time, except for those wheels and a simple tasteful red stripe trim across the bumpers and over the rub strips. Trunk spoilers were becoming a regular sight on the road and the LTS had that too. Other than that, there was nothing warning me that I could do what I did that night.
By the time I left the rental car lot and shoved off towards the Mississippi River, I was pretty pleased to get this car for the trip. The engine sounded really good. It was tight and amazing and revved like a real sports car. The dual exhaust sounded like it actually worked. Taking corners and ramps like it did made it feel like a more expensive car than it was. It handled like no other small Ford I puttered around in. Mazda obviously showed Ford how to make a fun small car.
An exciting drive across the Land of Lincoln
When I merged onto I-80 from the Stevenson, the traffic was light as dusk fell. Within 30 minutes, I was buried deep into cornland with a clear clean colorful sunset in front of me. It looked like a cloudless night was ahead of me with nothing between me and my destination but the Fox River valley and a couple dozen country exurbs. The Tracer hugged the road and dutifully loped along at 70 mph. I set the cruise control and relaxed.
While the LTS did an awful lot extremely well, the interior wasn’t inspired – just competent for cars in its class. The instrumentation held a tach and the dashboard didn’t look cheap, but it wasn’t as awesome as the performance it monitored. The worse thing about some cars in those pre-air bag years were the passive seat belts. Instead of a normal, functioning three-point seat belt, like before – or – since, car manufacturers ended up with really bad seat belts designed to be passive and satisfy the Federal government. The Tracer’s take on the passive seat belt included motorizing the shoulder belt so that it sped over the front door windows and dropped where a normal human’s shoulder would be, if they weren’t over 6 feet tall, like I was.
I sat well behind the door opening, so the motorized shoulder belt ended up over a half foot away from my left shoulder. Dumber yet, the lap belt needed to still be manually fastened. This passive design was actually better than the cheap, nasty badly designed stretch-o, door mounted embarrassments found in most GM vehicles of that age. We had real problems with the GM design all the years these craptastic things were in our fleets. Putting air bags in all cars finally fixed that mess.
Neeeeed coffeeeee
Eventually, I needed coffee to remain aware that I was in Illinois, and my previous coffee and Diet Coke drinks found their way into my bladder. I took a break in exotic-sounding Peru Illinois at a truck stop famous for it’s coffee pot. I looked for my favorite road food, which is jerky, and found the biggest drink container I could find and filled it with black coffee. After looking through the gift shop filled with miniature wolf heads, cool-looking tire thumpers, shot glasses, pills promising giant insatiable erections, and emptying my bladder while looking at the condom machines in the men’s room, I felt the caffeine surge into my brain. I stretched, took a deep breath and then trotted over to the dark red LTS and sped off onto the dark empty highway.
The Tracer zipped up to highway speed instantly and it sounded like it loved going fast. After a minute of driving, I noticed that I-80 was empty in both directions as far as I could see. It surprised me to be all alone, yet only an hour from Chicago. I set the cruise at 70 mph then ripped open the jerky. Good stuff! About a minute later I finally saw a pair of headlights far behind me, then disappearing over the horizon. I zipped along a few more miles, while these headlights slowly crept closer. He must have been going about 80 mph, which wasn’t unsafe on that empty expressway. After a while, the car hung back, in the passing lane, like the driver decided to set the cruise control too. There was no traffic on I-80 and it was very dark.
Having this driver hang behind me like that was claustrophobic. I took the car down to 65 mph, expecting it to pass me up, but when I did, the driver wouldn’t pass. It could have been an old man, or some young girl feeling the emptiness of the highway and feeling more comfortable hanging with me. This went on for a few more miles. It became irritating. So I sped up to get away, leaving the stranger cruising in the left lane. When I reached 80 mph, the stranger returned to his speed of 80 mph. After a couple more minutes, I was beginning to be irritated. Instead of a nice quiet ride, enjoying the empty darkness, I get this pesky jackass hanging on me. His headlight beam was in my left eye’s peripheral vision while the rest of the landscape was relaxed and dark.
So I decided to leave this pitiful nutjob behind and see what the LTS could do at higher speeds. I left him behind and the Tracer purred along as we zoomed beautifully at 90 mph. The steering felt strong and controlled. The ride felt perfectly fine at that speed. Just as I started slowing down, this guy reappears behind me again, like a bad penny. Give me a break! What an idiot!
So, I punched the accelerator again. That little LTS easily sprinted away and I looked down at the speedometer to see that I was going over 100 mph. The car didn’t sound like it was worried. There were no sounds of distress coming from the high revving twin cam four cylinder. The car handled without a problem and the road feel was exceptional, especially in a car as small as the LTS. 100 mph is not a safe speed, but the little Mercury did not make it seem dangerous. I was surprised at how well I was able to maintain that speed.
So this is when the stranger decides to turn on his high beams and his cop lights. Instead of being a lost traveler alone in the night, he ends up being the local highway sheriff interested in the Tracer LTS. By the time he let me know who he was, I believe we traveled across Illinois for ten miles or more. Naturally I was angry and felt as though I had been pushed into being chased across La Salle and into Bureau county. The officer’s route went from Princeton to Peru Illinois, and he was returning to Princeton when he saw me leave the truck stop and drive off into the night. He tailed me out of curiosity over the new LTS.
The officer looked like he could have been my twin. “Uh sir, I have you clocked at 119 miles per hour!” he grinned. “May I see your driver’s license and car registration – or rental papers?”
“What kind of car is this?” he asked impressively, passing the flashlight beam over the purring Tracer.
“I wasn’t going 119 miles per hour until you pushed me into going 119! Why were you following me like that? I was cruising at 70 until you started stalking me.”
“I wasn’t stalking you. The speed here is 65. It took a while to run these plates because it is a rental car and you were going faster than 65”, he answered. “Then you gave me quite a race! How much does it rent for?”
“For me – nothing!” I then froze, realizing that I was going to get a speeding ticket for going 119 miles per hour in a company car so I decided to stop talking. He walked back to the patrol car with it’s flashing lights. I think I remember slapping my forehead with my palm about that time as well and a well chosen naughty word or two. Not good.
By the time I reached the Davenport airport, the news of my speeding ticket went from Princeton Illinois to the managers who works at our offices in the Loop, then waited for me grinning in Davenport. The folks I was to surprised in the Quad Cities couldn’t wait to surprise me. By the time I broke for lunch, my boss was calling me to confirm the ugly rumors, and to express his shock and disappointment. It was an unpleasant day for the guy who normally created unpleasant days for others.
A month later, I personally drove to Princeton Illinois in my best suit, driving the biggest nicest Lincoln Town Car I could get, and finding the county court officers and explaining my situation. They couldn’t have been nicer and reduced the speed to 75 miles per hour, helping me out. Then I had to pay the amount I would have had to pay going 119 miles per hour. When I was told I would be spending upward of $800, I think I remember slapping my forehead with my palm about that time as well.
The Seagull got pooped on that day.
Sold here as a Mazda 323 or Ford Laser good cars.
Sure are. I picked one up for my ex when she finished uni, it was about 15 years old and had only 36,000km on it, man, that was a good little car!
Assembled in Sydney if I am correct.
Also available in turbo AWD form.
Not for a NZ one, they were assembled in Auckland.
Yes it was Sydney, and the AWD turbo was only in the 3-door hatch
127 hp seems so lame now, but I had a coworker with one with a 5spd, and it could always hang with 5.0 Mustangs driven by inexperienced kids. Great little car, and a great write up!
It does but I believe that’s what the new Corollas still pack. Hence why I wouldn’t want to own one.
Probably most econoboxes have similar ratings, all in the name of “efficiency”
That car will give a run for their money to some modern cars, and will probably smoke cars like a Logan, even an Aveo.
I didn’t know these were platform mates with the Mazda per se. Hidden well I say, though I guess kinda similar if I squint to what I know as a Protégé.
Great story!
Had me towards the edge of my seat nearing the end.
These and the Escort GTs have always intrigued me as a potential performance bargain in years past. They are likely a bit too old now as but back ten years or so they offered amazing performance per dollar. I had a later 1998 Escort which was also all Mazda in the chassis department. I even put a set of Miata alloy wheels on it. It handled very well but the lame Ford CVH engine let it down.
Fun story – I guess things could have gone worse. You probably didn’t need any more caffeine by the time that was all over with.
I see Paul took these nice pics of this Oregon Tracer… as his Scion is visible in the second shot.
It is in really sharp condition, and I credit the owner(s) for keeping it for so long
in such great shape, even in the Oregon climate.
Especially so, considering it is such a humble, unassuming car.
The interior looks brand new.
I know building and buying new cars keeps the economy humming, but there
is a lot to be said for people who exhibit such discipline keeping these unsexy
non-classic econoboxes going in such good shape.
… Even if it is owned by a grandmom who puts 1,000 miles on the car in a year.
The paint, tires, trim, are all maintained in this example. Looks ready to pass a safety check at anytime.
Man, that was a good story. I suspected it was a cop. Too bad he goaded you into speeding.
When the auditors came to our offices I was always moved to find the best “cheap” hotel room and find our lowest mileage basic car for their transport. My logic was to impress them with our thrift and discourage them from staying any longer than needed. Nothing personal, but I was always on the defensive. Something about the large cash bonus expenditures.
Thank you for this story, and you told it well VanillaDude.
I think your reaction was not unusual.
Personally, I think I would have pulled over rather than speeding up.
Especially when I saw that the trailing car was staying with me, for whatever reason.
Definitely a good story well told. Reminds me of many late night drives between Ohio and Virginia I made in the double-nickel era.
I had a similar experience, except I was the pursuer and the guy I was following ended up pulling over, as Daniel advises, above.
On long drives, when I saw another car with a radar detector, I tended to hang with him (not trying to be sexist, but radar detector owners did tend to be men) to reduce my risk of a speeding ticket.
One night in particular I was driving through the mountains, probably in western Maryland on old U.S. 48 (now Interstate 68). As a car passed me, I saw the distinctive LED lights of a Passport radar detector clipped to the visor. So I accelerated and stayed behind him. I was following at a safe distance, but matching the other car’s speed.
Well I was driving a ’79 Cutlass, and like most cars of that era, at night in the rear view mirror, it presented itself as two rectangular single sealed-beam headlamps with vertical, rectangular parking lights mounted inboard.
Before too long, Mr. Passport owner slowed down to 55 mph or so. I assumed it was because he sniffed radar — that’s why I was following him, after all. So I slowed down, too. I continued to follow him at that speed for a while, and then he slowed down more. And more. Until he finally started pulling over onto the shoulder.
Well, I wasn’t going to pull over, too, so I passed him. At this point I realized he probably thought I was Johnny Law — or at least was taking no chances. Once he saw my Carmine Red Metallic, humpback Cutlass pass by, he hit the throttle and took off again.
I decided I had annoyed the poor fellow enough that night, so I hung back and watched his taillights disappear into the distance.
It should be said that by that point Ford had a long history of making entertaining small cars — not necessarily sophisticated or especially slick, but entertaining — for the European market; for a long time, it just seemed to get lost in translation coming here, with the arguable exception of the Capri.
Jack Baruth did a story about Highway Buddies.
I had one barnacle onto me in Colorado. I was cruise controlled at 79, and I tend to monitor my mirrors with regularity. I passed two cars, the rear one being a red Mazda. They were somewhat closer together than I tend to like, and I wondered if the Mazda was drafting, or just following closely. A few miles later the fore car exited, and the Mazda started gaining on me. Yup! I had a barnacle. Now this is a car that certainly has cruise control (or so I would imagine) and yet they prefer to just cozy up behind another car and use them as a virtual cruise control.
This goes on for many miles. I pass a car, they pass and resume following me. Bastards! Get the #*$&# off my ass. A short while later I notice that we are slowly but surely gaining on a small car ahead, so much earlier than I would normally change lanes (and I always the blinker) I gun it and shoot into the passing lane and take off, up to about 90. I go just long enough to pass the car and create a significant distance between me and the Mazda. At this point the Mazda had latched on to the car I passed and found themselves a new Highway Buddy. Success!
Been there. Only for me, it was a black supercharged Regal, and a cop in a Tahoe (which threw me off the possibility that he might be enforcement), highbeams on, swerving and riding my bumper for several miles before I finally kicked it down.
At least the officer in your story was a sport about it. In my case, he was a real jerk. Still waiting for that ’76 in a 50′ (he hit the reds quick, and I immediately lifted) to fall off my driving record…
If I had been in charge at Ford back then, I’d have canceled the Explorer and let the Bronco II wither on the vine to go all in on a 127hp AWD version of the Escort wagon as the choice family hauler of the ’90s.
I noticed just last week that a few houses down and across from where I now live there is an elderly couple that has a similar vintage Tracer wagon sitting in their driveway that looks to be in rather good condition. I have this crazy feeling that I might have to keep my eye on it…
Nice story!
This car is much like my car, a much newer Protege, in this case, the Protege5, 5 door hatchback. It has the 2.0L DHOC motor, and it churns out 130hp, but hauling around 2714 or so pounds of car though. It’s still quite sprightly however and mine, like your Tracer, has the 4spd though I have the sport stick version of that tranny.
It could definitely use that 5 gear however, but other than that, it’s a fantastic transmission for an autobox.
Mine has the strut tower brace up front, and the beefy anti sway bar out back and it just holds the road like glue.
I love it.
Too bad a cop goaded you but when you are heading along doing 70 in a 65, I can see why he was interested, though he didn’t have to goad you like he did.
Another great story – and I’ve been in this same stupid highway hemorrhoid game with a police officer on many occasions. I don’t drive long distances very often anymore, but when I used to I was really good at spotting a police car behind me (especially because at one time, they were almost uniformly Crown Victorias). I would always gradually slow to under the speed limit, pull over to the shoulder or get off an exit and get right back on the highway. I’m knocking on wood as I type this, but I’ve only managed to get two speeding tickets in my life and both of them were while I was a teenager!
I like the Mazda 323 and this generation Escort/Tracer a lot. There was an Escort equivalent of the Tracer LTS as well, very uncommon car available only in 1992/93 – the Escort LX-E. It had all the same stuff (127HP engine, 4-wheel discs, alloys, etc.) from the Escort GT in the 4-door sedan body. I just saw a pair of Tracer LTS recently, but it’s been years since I’ve seen an LX-E. Someone should start a three-make racing series for these cars and the Geo Prizm GSi.
Maybe throw the Suzuki Swift GT in too just for giggles, I’m pretty there’s about 3 left in the US, about as a many as the LX-E