We were somewhere outside Wasilla, at the edge of civilization (or something like it), when the drugs began to take hold. Or at least that’s what it felt like when we rolled into Gorilla Fireworks in the settlement of Houston, AK. There, in front of an oversized, explosive-wielding Gorilla, stood a machine that would seem out of place anywhere outside of perhaps Eugene’s Whitaker district. Finding a home-made Batmobile out at the edge of the Alaskan bush, en route to three days floating the Chulitna River, could never be anything short of surreal. But then, when you find yourself buying fireworks as a prophylactic against marauding bears, you come to expect just about anything.
The car itself is a marvel of Alaskan ingenuity. Plywood body panels cover what was once a modest Pontiac 1975 Dodge Dart [Ed: always check with dad first] with Adam West-era Batman camp, giving the Bat-chetta some of the biggest tailfins ever recorded along with a massive faux hoodscoop and bold fender arches. A grafted-on “jet intake” completes the look, if possibly at the expense of some irony when the modest four-cylinder under the hood fires up (if such a thing is still possible).
Observed by an aged firetruck and what must be one of the better-traveled British double-decker buses in the world, the Batmobile stands ready to bring justice to the Alaskan bush. And having already observed the majority of Alaska State Troopers busy skinning and processing megafauna roadkill, that’s a comforting thought. Out in the wilds of Alaska, people need heroes… not to mention fun projects to get through the long winters. Anywhere else, this Batmobile might be looked down on as an unforgivably crude hackjob. Up here, however, the very fact that someone invested the effort into building a tribute to a car from a TV show that hasn’t been aired since the 1960s is downright inspiring.
As we proceeded North again, now fully stocked with Roman Candles and various other explosive bear mitigation devices, the last signs of civilization (and its half-hearted imitators) quickly melted away and we found ourselves in the unforgiving wilds of the Alaskan bush. It would be several days before we saw another human being, and when we did he seemed more surprised to see us than he would have if he’d seen a bear (all which we’d long since scared away with our regular explosive displays).
Remembering the Batmobile, which at that point was closer than many Americans’ daily commutes and yet for all intents a continent away, I couldn’t help but smile. Even in the most exigent circumstances, cars wield a strange power to bring out our strangest desires, and make even the most uninspired a palette for bizarre creativity. If you don’t consider that a hopeful sign for our benighted society, well, the bush always beckons. But in the face of nature’s majestic indifference to one’s very survival, even the most modest signs of human ingenuity and creative expression –whether in the form of fireworks or sawzall-based car customization– take on an inspiring majesty all their own.
A fine example of a custom from the Backwoods Weirdness school of design. I don’t know what else is lurking under all that bat-tastic plywood, but the grille, front bumper and hubcaps are definitely those of a very late (1975?) Dodge Dart, not any sort of Pontiac.
Clearly I have brought shame on the Niedermeyer name with this misidentification. In my defense (sort of), it had a Pontiac-branded steering wheel. Anyway, now you know why I mostly write about the contemporary car business and not the classics.
HA! No worries, Edward. Thanx for bringing us these surreal scenes from the Great White North. P.S. Great gonzo tribute to Dr. Hunter Thompson.
More Joker than Batman? Still, credit for ingenuity. You can do a lot with a sawzall… And thanks for sharing this surreal scene!
Whether in admiration or sarcasm, this is a car that should be able to make just about anybody smile.
What the heezy?
So some poor Dart/Valiant/Scamp’s alter ego, as a Caped Crusader, is THIS thing?
It looks like it’s Batman appendages are made of wood, and not the solid oak… more like the “green-wood” pine type.
Well, hopefully it has the reliable Slant 6… so Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson, can always show up, when the Riddler, the Joker or the Penguin start chaos in Gotham City. lol
All smart ass comments aside, this art car creator gets an A+, for effort. 🙂
I’ll bet Putin is telling Pravda he can see this from his backyard.
My brother had the Corgi model.He wishes he still had it as it’s the Hemi Cuda convertible of model cars and they change hands for a lot of money
No doubt you mean the Corgi model of the Batmobile. Not of the 1975 Dodge Dart… 🙂
Yes having seen a Corgi batmobile on e bay for £650(950$)!
Nice find, sounds like an intereseting trip as well.
I think exigent should be the CC word of the week.
It is a Dart, it has either a 6 cylinder or possibly an 8. In either case, not too powerful, unless they were able to graft in a real turbine engine ( which Chrysler was still working on and might have perfected with electronic fuel controls)
The Dart with a 4 cylinder hurt me as well.
Holy socks, Batman. This can only mean the Joker’s planning another diabolical dirty deed!
“Holy Hamtramck, Batman – is this our new car?”
“Yes, Boy Wonder. Grab a handful of Bat-last resistors and let us be on our way.”
Ha ha ha!
Hah…you speak the truth. Bruce Wayne drove a gold 66 Imperial Crown convertible so he’d know about these things. I’d also put myself out for the common good if I had an Imperial, I promise.
Well done Edward ! .
No worries about the mis identification thing , not everyone likes / recognizes A Body Mo-Pars .
Me , I’d drive this thing to work for the jollies and grins it’d get in L.A. and @ L.A.P.D. .
-Nate
” Bat-last resistors” ~ giggle .
Its plug ugly, but a lot nicer looking that the Batmobile in the Michael Keaton Batmans. I only saw “Batman” and “Batman Returns”. I am not a fan of superhero films. IMHO, the nicest Batmobile was the one on the Batman series from the mid `60s. That customozed Lincoln Futura was the bomb, but the batman films lacked a campy sense of humor, something they needed badly
Great pics Ed! Car is cool, but for me, living where I do here in Portland OR, is whats in the background. Or lack of it. There is like nobody there.
A bad acid trip in Wasilla?
Hehehe
Great writing Edward; this was a joy to read.
I built this car in 1987 out of a $100 1975 Dodge Dart. A friend who owned it biffed a curb and bent the right front suspension so that the right wheel leaned about 15 degrees off vertical. He was moving out of state, wanted to dump it and knew I had a thing for $100 cars. Usually I beat these cars up on 4X4 trails or in a single, massive glorious jump, but this Dart spoke to me. I had been kicking the idea of building a Batmobile around for years. The Dart fit the bill. I used two layers of 1/4″ plywood for the wings and covered the edges in bed sheet strips dipped in Elmer’s glue, to hold off the delamination from weather. I can’t believe it’s held together for 30+ years. The windscreen is 1/8″ polycarbonate. I can attest that it holds up at 65 MPH, but when you surpass ~70MPH it will collapse on the dash. With a face full of wind, slow down to 60 and it pops back upright.
I drove it quite a bit in the late 1980’s, but it ate through tires due to the terrible alignment, so I replaced the bent suspension parts and it finally drove like it should. For a few years it had a fake jet engine on the trunk, complete with a big internal fan that blew 100 iridescent streamers back. I mounted a car headlight inside the jet engine to illuminate the ribbons; it looked surprisingly realistic and less campy than I expected. I wanted it to look dumb, but it looked like an actual jet flame. The jet motor killed rearward visibility and I was pulled over for the rear facing headlight too many times, so I moved the front of the engine to the front of the car. I think the chrome engine piece was a scrapyard ashtray; the big ones you would see in hotels or airports in the 1970’s.
The fins work. On Wasilla Lake ice I found that I could not spin out at over ~50 MPH; the fins had more grip on the air than the tires had on the ice.
In 1995 I left Alaska and left my Batmobile with my brother who owns Gorilla Fireworks.
Here’s a page on my cars including the Batmobile:
http://hallbuzz.com/good_old_days/cars/cars.htm
David Hall