Having read of my off-road travails with my Promaster, CC reader and contributor Dave Skinner decided to make me feel bad about having ditched my ’77 Dodge Chinook. He sent me an ad for this heavily modified 4×4 Chinook, with these words: “Given your recent off-road adventures, perhaps your old Dodge was the right answer all along”.
Yup, I blew it once again. Stephanie and I could be riding in comfort over hill and dale in this finely-crafted globe trotter. And it’s only $32,000; that’s five grand less than what I have into my Promaster. And it’s in Portland! The few minor compromises it would require will pale against the ability to scale the steepest mountains in utter serenity.
Italics are from the ad copy:
1978 Dodge Chinook 23-foot, fully self-contained and insulated, Cummins turbo diesel swap, intercooled, 5-spd tranny swap, NP205 t-case, Dana 60 axles, 8-inch lift springs, Bilsteins, 35-inch tires, runs and drives great.
And how does it ride? A wee bit stiff, perhaps? Is there a ladder to get into the rear door, or?
Dodge 5.9L Cummins mechanical 12-valve,
New custom Holset HE351 Turbo,
Intercooled with full-size intercooler,
Yes, the mechanical 12 valve Cummins, the noisiest diesel engine ever made. Every time I’m next to one at a light I have to close my window to protect my ears. But I’m sure the “dog house” engine cover will eliminate all that intense clattering, right? I mean, who wouldn’t want a Cummins inches away from your calves and thighs? No need for massages ever again.
Of course the original dog house would never fit over the mighty Cummins, so the modifications include hand made fiberglass protrusions to the passenger side to make room for the turbo, and an extension in the middle for the extra length of the inline six. I’m sure Stephanie won’t mind giving up about half of the already almost non-existent leg room. And I’m sure she’ll love the sound of that big turbo spooling up between every shift. Marriage is all about compromise, and these are minor.\
Oh right; no air conditioning too. We won’t tell her about that just yet. One compromise at a time.
Here’s a better picture of the extension to the rear. Nicely crafted; artisinal, in more ways than one.
New 5-spd Getrag transmission,
New Velair triple disc ceramic clutch,
New Velair flexplate and bearings,
NP-205 gear-drive transfer case,
New hydraulics and all cylinders,
Here’s a view of the two sticks protruding through the floor. They’re going to make stepping into the main cabin a wee bit awkward, but I’m sure we’ll get used to that too. And I always did fancy having a stick shift Chinook.
The tv will be useless for us, but maybe we’ll join the rest of the world and start watching tv in the boonies. I don’t see a solar panel in the specs, so let’s get a generator to run the tv. Who cares about the quiet out in the boonies anyway? It’s much more comforting to have the place lit up by a big tv and hear the roar of a generator. That’s what real camping is all about: getting away from it all.
The interior shows the benefits of a lick of paint or two, although the sofa beds’s upholstery job is a wee bit improvised, especially for $32k.
Dana 70 rear with Detroit Locker,
Dana 60 front, KP, both 4.10 gears,
Goes over 75mph on the freeway fine,
Custom steering box and cardan shaft,
New steering arms and crossover steering,
Rebuilt kingpins, custom brake valve,
New brake booster and master cylinder
New Skyjacker DR60s-D600s 8-inch springs,
New Bilstein 5100 shocks spec’ed for this rig,
New front and rear driveshafts and ujoints,
Yup, this puppy is built to take it all in stride.
Custom front bumper setup for 8274,
Tied into a custom sub-over-frame,
LOTS of custom metal work to make it fit,
Completely Rhino-Lined two-tone exterior,
Easy to maintain and easy to touch up.
Yes, I do love me some texture.
Rebuilt injection pump and injectors,
All new motor seals, including rear main,
Tabbed KDP and locked all case bolts,
Crankshaft work done with a sleeve,
New oil pump and many internals,
New sensors for factory gauges,
New lines for fuel, breaks, etc.,
New engine and cab wiring,
No factory vans had manual,
So custom manual pedals,
Custom throttle setup,
Fully gone through and rebuilt,
Extremely reliable and simple,
Everything is fully mechanical,
Only “requires” 1-wire to starter,
EMP resistant and runs upside down,
60% moving parts of other engines,
Extremely durable and reliable,
Will never leak or get scratched,
Only 500 miles on the build.
Only 500 miles on the build? So why the hell are you selling it? Isn’t quite what you expected? A few compromises? The wife isn’t enamored of it? Pray tell?
It’s okay if you don’t have legs. It looks like it could tip over in a slight breeze. On the other hand, it’s kind of badass and very ‘Merican. It is probably exciting at 75 on the highway. Wee, bouncy!
The owner certainly put a lot of work into it, but that lift combined with the rear overhang suggests it can tip over fairly easily.
Yeah but the ad says it “runs upside down” so it wont matter if it rolls over, it will still run.
Runs upside down – for a little while?!?
Pretty swank indeed. You clearly blew it big time by getting that feeble Transit wannabe and not this Manly Flexed Bicep of a rig.
No, you don’t need some stupid generator with this setup, you just leave that sweet sweet Cummins idling overnight to run your power needs. That’s what it’s built for, right? Guys leave those rattle cans on idle for days, weeks, nay months even, just like the Big Rig guys, right?
And not one but TWO televisions! It’s like a Manly Sports Bar On Wheels! The wife can watch the Raiders game on her screen, you can check out the Cowboys on yours, while the Cummins idles and the wildlife tremble in fear at your Flexed Bicep.
In the ad I note that there is zero exhaust system past the downpipe off the engine manifold, which the owner doesn’t seem to think is really all that big a deal. Perfect! Who the hell wants to muffle that sweet sweet sound of a fully mechanical Cummins diesel?? Now you and the wife might have to turn your respective TVs sound all the way up, to hear past that Sweet Symphony of Studliness, but no matter, it’ll serve as a Marker of Macho for all the other loser camping people to make them feel like the inferior dolts that they are.
Air conditioning is fer weak little boys, this is a Man’s Rig Afterall. And if you put AC on that sweet sweet Cummins you’ll drag the power rating down, so nope, no need for that.
Wonder what those brochures are that are thoughtfully embedded into the table top? Manly Products? Sports Drinks? At least there are bat decals in the windows, that gives another 4 points of Macho right there.
Now yer gonna have to expand your krewe to pilot this rig, that gear shift placement is a tad awkward. So what yer gonna need are you to Helm The Beast. The Wife as Navigator to Scream Directions over the roar of masculinity, and a Gear Shifter to throw the levers. Probably ought to mount a small chair for that crew member so that he, only a man could do this Manly Job, can obey your shifting orders:
“SHIFTER! GIVE ME THIRD NOW!”
“WHAT??”
“I SAID GIVE ME THIRD NOW!!”
“Turn left at the Carl’s Jr!!”
“WHAT WAS THAT STEPH?”
“THIRD GEAR, AYE AYE SKIPPER!”
“I SAID TURN LEFT AT THE CARLS…OH DAMN…YOU MISSED IT…”
Yup you blew it with that thing you bought for camping. Best to admit your failed Manly Macho Aspirations right now, cut your losses, and pony up to this rig ASAP.
Yup. I’m driving up this morning to get it, and the Promaster is going on Craigslist. I know when I’ve made a mistake and I’m manly about doing something about it.
When Stephanie gets home from Iowa and sees this in the driveway, she’s going to be so…excited!
So… this is definitely meant for camping…
After the apocalypse.
Seriously, someone built this to be a bugout vehicle. I’d wager good money on that. The Cummins is loud as hell, but they also have a fantastic reputation for reliability and longevity. 4×4 is for getting the hell out of Dodge when everything hits the proverbial fan, and the suspension setup sure looks built to take some abuse too. The TV is for a bit of comfort during the transition to post-civilization, and it would make a fine tradable good if you need supplies from someone that has a good setup and wants some luxury. Rhinolining helps stop rot and degradation, especially important as this might be home for awhile.
Yep, this is a bugout vehicle. Handy if civilization does in fact come undone.
Everybody can get the hell out of Dodge. Only the select few can get a Dodge out of Hell. The owner of this rig might be one of them. 🙂
Th e only problem is where to buy diesel fuel.
A real post-apocalypse mobile would need to be an EV, with some fold-out solar panels to recharge it.
Here in the PNW, our apocalyptic event is inevitable, as in an earthquake between 8 and 9, and almost certainly the biggest natural disaster the US will ever have experienced. No water, power, sewer, stores, fuel, etc. for maybe 2-3 months along the coast, and 1-2 months in the Willamette Valley.
It’s one of the reasons I have a solar panel on the Promaster; at least I’ll have modest source of power. it might be enough to keep our well-stocked freezer going. That is, if our very unseismic-proof house doesn’t fall on our heads.
Yup. And that coming super quake is the reason my Esposita won’t move to the PNW. Freaked her out when we started seeing endless warnings about it on a vacation up there a few years ago.
Rats.
I’m kinda a Dodge Lover, I have a 1979 Dodge Wrangler 4×4 Van that I’m considering building into a Off-road Campervan. What I wanted to add to this is, I have a 5.9 Cummins Mechanical Motor in a Old Front End Loader. And I’ve ran EVERYTHING as fuel in it !! We had a Vehicle Salvage Yard years ago and We saved ALL the Oils, Gear Oils, Tranny Fluids, And Old Gas from the vehicles !!! And I’ve ran it ALL in this Cummins !! And it had 200,000 miles on it 20 years ago when we put it in the old 1970’s Loader ! Bet it has over 500,000+ now ! And runs like new !! I also have a 96 Dodge 3500 Diesel that’s my DD, And I’ve Ran Waste Veggie Oil right in the fuel tank ! And I always dump my old used oils from my oil changes, Right into the fuel tank ! And I’ve never had a problem !! People say that you gotta run a fuel heater to burn Waste Veggie Oil, But I never have and none of my Friends do !!. These “Old School” MECHANICAL motors will burn most ANY kinda oils !! Heck, My Dad told me he once ran piant thinner in a old Dozer at work for a WEEK cause they ran outta Diesel !!. So, In a Apocalypse Situation, You really could burn Old Motor Oils and such as fuel if needed !!. I’ll NEVER be without a “Old School” Diesel ! And I currently have 6 !! Dodges, And Old Ford’s(International). And a Mercedes 3.0 that I just bought to put in my Old Range Rover Classic !!.
On the bright side, this doesn’t need a heater.
…but waxing this thing so your kid can drive it to the prom would be a bear.
32K? Wow! Just wow!
All obvious things aside. All that come to mind when seeing this thing in profile are the early Dodge ” Funny Cars” Dragsters with the altered ‘Funny” wheelbases. Strip that sucker down. Put a hemi under that dog house, or maybe in the back, some Wheelie casters on that extensive rear overhang, and have fun at the local strip.
Needs a twin .50 cal turret on top, with flamethrowers on the side for that occasional venture into the Portland rush hour
Bugout vehicle, I christen thee: SCUMVEE
Well, tailgaters wouldn’t be a problem for long, that’s for sure.
It’s amazing how traffic parts all around you when you drive a vehicle with machine guns!
Like the Smart car recently featured, I think the natural resting position for this vehicle is lying on it’s side.
At least it won’t get scratched with all that Rhino coating.
YIKES!!! A giant Suzuki Samurai! You remember, the vehicle that flipped over if you so much as changed lanes abruptly? I have always liked 4×4 vans, but does this need to be jacked that high? Would scare the you-know-what out of me to drive on a road with even mild crosswinds, or to do an evasive lane change. And 75 mph must an adventure worthy of a “bad driver” YouTube video!
Looks like if I leaned on it it would roll over like a giant puppy. I’d think it could never be driven on roads with actual curves like here in Southwestern PA.
Fail.
Apparently someone has too much time on their hands. And not enough brain cells. And apparently no real relationship in place that would normally put a stop to this kind of mental instability. Poor donor Dodge with the 12 valve, you deserved better. Sniff.
What is that thing above the smaller of the two TVs?
The 1978 dash was such an improvement over the one seen here.
Small weather station and mood lighting controls?
“No factory vans had manual, So custom manual pedals,”
Are we sure about this? I’m 100% certain that Chevrolet and Ford vans of this era could be had with a straight six and either column- or floor-mounted shifter.
Check this: Rock Auto offers a clutch kit for 1978 Dodge B300 van with the 225 cubic inch Slant Six, as well as all V-8, 318/360/400/440. So I would argue that he’s incorrect about “no factory vans had manual”.
But I would venture you aren’t going to find a clutch pedal setup in the junkyard.
Are we sure about this?
No we’re not. These vans all had three speed manuals on the column as standard. And the Ford Econoline in the mid 70s got a 3+OD (four speed) floor shift. That was the only floor shifter in these as far as I know, but i’m not totally sure about that.
You caused my brain to fetch a long-lost memory, Paul.
Many years ago, I had a brief gig with a contractor whose business it was to fetch off-lease rental trucks. A big rental truck company (named for a famous race driver) leased rental trucks to small-town agencies who would rent them on a day rate. When the lease was up, we’d go fetch them.
Eight guys would pile into a late 70s/early 80’s Chevy G10 van with a 3+OD floor shift and a tow bar. We’d run around a geographic radius, and at each stop, one or two guys would get out, hop in a rental truck, and we’d become a bigger caravan with each stop.
At the final stop, the van driver would jump in a box truck with a tow ball, hitch up the van, and lead the caravan back to the drop point.
That’s why it had to be a stick shift van. Can’t flat tow an automatic.
Fueleconomy.gov tells me 80s Chevy vans could be had with a 4-speed manual, with the Diesel V-8 or 4.3 V-6 or 4.1 I-6. So I’m not dreaming 🙂
I’ll take your word for it; makes sense.
I know about the Econoline because I’ve actually seen a few with that twisted stick that comes up a bit far back and curves to make it accessible. Invariably teamed with the 300 six; a good combo, actually.
Never saw the Chevy version.
I don’t think there was a floor shift version of the Dodge, but…maybe you’ll find some evidence of it.
Challenge accepted, Paul!
Back to fueleconomy.gov – which sadly only goes back to 1984.
Now, that’s not a perfect source, because it lists engine/trans combinations that were *certified* – which doesn’t mean they were actually *sold*.
And it gets VERY interesting… From (at least) 1984-1987, they list a Slant 6/4-speed manual… and for 88-90, they switched to the 3.9 V-6 (3/4 of a 318, iirc) with a FIVE-speed manual. Mind. Blown.
I’ve never seen a factory floor shift in a Chevy or a Dodge van, but there’s one shown in the ’82 Dodge brochure: http://www.oldcarbrochures.com/static/NA/ChryslerTrucksVans/1982%20Trucks%20and%20Vans/1982%20Dodge%20Ram%20Wagons%20Brochure/1982%20Dodge%20Ram%20Wagons-08.html
And ’86 Chevy van with the diesel: http://www.oldcarbrochures.com/static/NA/GM%20Trucks%20and%20Vans/1986_Trucks_and_Vans/1986%20Chevy%20Truck%20Facts/1986%20Chevy%20Facts-065.html
I’m quite convinced!
Just never saw one in real life, except for the Econoline. Saw several of them.
I remember my friend’s mom having a 1980s? Dodge homemade conversion van with a stick on the floor. I remember thinking how odd it was to have a stick in a van like that.
I am reminded of the old joke where the farmer asked to be buried in his Model T. When asked why he would do such a fool thing, his reply was “Ain’t never yet gotten inta a hole that my Ford couldn’t pull me outta.”
This would be the modern version – you could camp to your hearts content and then save the expense of a casket at the end because burying it would be way easier than selling it again. And who knows – maybe the farmer was onto something.
I’m reminded of the phrase: “Just because something can be done, doesn’t mean it should be done.”
The plot thickens; I spy with my little eye a Montana license plate on this rig.
This is clearly not the vehicle for everybody, and the “500 miles on build” statement indicates that it is not the vehicle for the person who built it. It reminds me of something I would have thought of as a great idea when I was a kid.
Though the asking price is optimistic for the potential market (but low if you factor in the time and money invested in the build), the owner seems sanguine about its prospects according to the last line in the original CL posting.
“Please be realistic with your expectations regarding this custom vehicle.”
This thing suggests to me a vision of a post-apocalyptic world in which the survivors are left with enough infrastructure to provide them with television and diesel fuel. The big tires would be good for running over the inevitable giant roaches.
Maybe they weren’t too realistic when doing the customising?
Also, the comment “Runs upside down” – for a little while?!? Unless there are oil pickups in the rocker covers.
Can you say “out of his mind?” I normally don’t comment on posts like this but….