There is no American automotive affectation that grinds my gears more than “continental kits”. OK; these like this one are just a bad joke (I hope), that can’t be taken seriously. But what gets me going is that some collectors of fifties cars seem to think that they just don’t look right without a ridiculous conti kit and giant bumper extension.
Poor Edsel Ford; he’d be spinning in his grave if he knew what his superbly elegant 1939 Continental started. Well, in the thirties, cars from “the continent” (Europe) did often have spares on the rear, as had some American cars. But its spare was gracefully tucked into a recess behind the short rear trunk.
And we have his son to blame for its immortal popularity. I really like the MKII, but not the spare hump. Sorry; that’s not “continental” at all anymore, in the fifties. Let’s call it what it became: the American spare.
This is becoming increasingly common. I never saw one once when I was a kid. Well, maybe one or two, but never on something like this. OK; I have a sense of humor (somewhere), but I’m not sure they’re trying to be funny. I guess it beats putting on that ridiculous plastic affair on the Town Car. Please; enough already.
Continental kits and fender skirts on cars that never had them are a pet peeve of mine as well. There are so many restored ’57 Fairlanes and ’60 Impalas out there that look like hell with these appurtenances hung on them. The funny part is that I remember the late Fifties and early Sixties, and the only place I ever saw these damned things was in AMT 3-in-1 model kits.
They were offered in the dealer’s (well, Chevrolet dealers anyway, as that’s my only personal experience) catalog. And damned few people bought them. Few enough, that to see them on a restored fifties or sixties car looks downright odd. The damned fools don’t understand that just because it was offered in the catalog, didn’t mean that people actually wanted it on their car.
I’ve never seen a Mark II in that color. Breathtaking.
’56 Thunderbird created the type of “continental kit” that defines the genre.
I look at them the same way I look at everything else that is attached to a car but is non functional. Although in this case, there might actually be a tire in there.
The 56 tbird did it (Continental kit) because without it there was no room in the trunk. The 57 lengthened the trunk to put the spare back inside.
Could you imagine driving behind that on a bright day? You’d burn the backsides of your eyeballs.
In my small prairie town for reasons that remain unclear (although I suspect a gene pool that’s more a puddle) there is a real fetish for the so-called “car guys” to put continental kits on stunningly inappropriate cars. Included in this number are a 1989 Cadillac Eldorado, 1965 Galaxie covertible (with garish chrome fender skirts as well), and most hilariously, one tacked onto the back of a 1975 Mercury Grand Marquis four door; that genius literally cannot park in a conventional spot due to the length, he has to park in a pull-through manner just to accomodate that monstrosity. Attached is a photo of said Marquis (now for sale for a mere $3500!!!) for your “enjoyment”…
At least you can tailgate with it now!
That takes the cake! My poor eyes!
I’d like to see him get out of a parking lot with a bit of a slant without dragging his tail.
You could always install a little device that while the car is in reverse the continental unit tits up several inches and returns when shifted out of reverse. The lengths that people would go to make that functional…
Yikes.
That looks like a bicycle rack gone insane…STOP IT BEFORE IT SPREADS!!!
Hoo-boy.
If it were a book, it would be “50 Shades Of Vomitific”.
Someone in my neighborhood put full fender skirts on…
um…
…their ’87 FORD F-150!
I think they’ve driven it that way since new.
Thats so so bad…..you could post Secret Service agents on the freaking things.
Gimme! But just for one day, just to see the look on the face of my Panamera-driving neighbour across the street!
I swear that’s Vintage Auto Sales in Osler, Sask. Is it?
What I like about this Grand Marquis is how smoothly and seamlessly the spare-tire apparatus has been integrated into the existing design, making it look like it has always been there. Like it came from the factory that way. Obviously great care has been taken with this project to make the extension looks like it belongs on the car. And that, after all, is what the art of automobile customization is really all about.
Horrible,it makes the Mopar toilet seat a thing of beauty!
Can he even open his trunk?
There is usually a hidden lever or something that releases the kit and it will fold down allowing access to the trunk.
When I was bag boy at a grocery store in high school an older lady used to come in with a purple early 90’s Coupe DeVille, fully done; landau top, gold trim, Rolls style grille, gold wire wheels, and one of these hanging off the back. It worked almost exactly the same way. I got pretty handy at folding it out of the way for her after a while.
Replace “older lady” with “pimp” and it still reads the same….
I almost said “fully pimped” instead of “fully done”, but yeah, the look is the same. The wire wheels are only maybe 16″, part of the local Cadillac dealers “pimp pack”, they’re admittedly the only part of the package I like, not 14″ Daytons, or some new donk style.
There’s another Coupe DeVille in my parking garage done very similarly, same wheels and continental kit, but in that Banana yellow with yellow leather Cadillac offered. If it wasn’t beat up I’d have already placed an offer on windshield wipers.
I bought the same E&G kit at a yard sale for $ 25, still new in the box, roughly 6 months after I bought my 78 Eldorado in year 2000. It’s still sitting in the box in my garage. I doubt I’ll ever install it, but it’s nice to own such a worthless piece of American auto history. (The continental kit, not the Eldo.)
I think a piece of chain attaches to the trunk latch to allow it to fold down.
Only SUVs are allowed to hang spares on their tails.
Die Brougham Heretic!
I’m innocent! Just pointing out an apparent double-standard, which I’m guilty of myself.
Herr Mann: At TTAC, that comment would get you banned by Herr Direktor Schmitt!
I know, but Herr Direktor Niedermeyer is much more forgiving than Herr Direktor Schmitt. Also, it would be much harder to ban a writer than a mere commenter.
When such hideous booty implants start to nauseate me…I just look at the original Connie’s fenders, and I feel better. Reminds me that Christina Hendricks and Mad Men are coming back soon. 🙂
Count me in the “no thanks” camp when it comes to Continental kits on anything after, let’s say 1942. Some are less ugly (’56 T-Bird) than others (that Marquis further up), but they’d all look better without them.
However, I do like the spare tire hump on the Mark Series and 1982-87 Fox Continental. I can’t imagine any of those cars without it.
I would agree, mainly because it was more of a subtle styling cue rather than an invasive added item that gets in the way of the lines and the basic usage of the vehicle. The only vehicle with full tires on the back I like to see are vans and Jeep Wranglers. Although I will say the Versailles’ interpretation of the trunk was a stretch (because of the filler door) but that was the least of that car’s worries.
The Mark III design on the back integrated the bumper into the action and it looks semi real.
Why did I know you’d say that? 🙂
FWIW, if none of these Conti’s ever had the hump, you’d love them just as much. And then if someone had put one of these on one, you’d groan. It’s all in what you saw when you were little, and it looked good then; right?
That argument could be applied to just about any design element on any car. Sure the hump is a useless appendage evoking the past but so are grilles most modern bottom fed cars.
On some cars it’s pretentious, maybe even on a Lincoln………..but it has the heritage. And the lineage, making it obvious: I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII!
The 1982 Lincoln Continental:
The factory Lincoln humps are where I differ. The Mark II is gorgeous with it, as are the III to VIII.
In fact, that polarizing appendage was as the closest trait Lincoln ever could claim as integral to brand identity. The fake tire hump is to Lincoln as the kidney grilles are to BMW or port holes to Buick. All of which used on different brands look cheezy or cheap.
BMW included portholes on the Z3’s front fenders. This is the company that mocked such Brougham decadence in its earlier advertising.
That is the sweet smell of success creeping in. Years ago when foreign brands were more niche players, they thrived on their difference and mocking ways like that. But these days as they bacame major players in their market categoiries, they have succombed to the pressure of keeping up their volume and mainstreaming their products. It has been seen with Toyota and everyone else who are chasing the next dollar. The principal of the product has been replaced by looking for the next sale.
Lots of 1950’s/60’s sportscars had vents behind the front wheels in some fashion – they were functional then of course. In particular the BMW 509, but also Aston Martins, rally-spec Austin-Healeys and Sunbeam Tigers.
The Mark II actually held the tire in that spot, so it was functional. It was very hard to access the trunk.
Oh Paul, we at CC need to buy that Marquis. Then with a modern version of the J C Whitney catalog and, say, a $2000 budget, we can make the ultimate Bad Taste Brougham. We can get a series out of it then raffle the car off. CC will make a fortune!
JP you mad genius! I’d help you buy it but I’m 13 (as everyone knows) and the economy sucks.
Raffle it off? It’ll be our automotive mascot, after we paint it purple! I can write it off as my company car.
I am sure that more than one person around here would try to claim that car as a dependent on their taxes…
Curb feelers, chrome fender skirts, lighted fuzzy dice, wide whitewalls, chrome swan hood ornament with lighted eyes (or perhaps chrome steer horns), class III trailer hitch with little boat propeller on it, chrome door edge guards, added air horns that play “La Cucaracha”, and deeply tinted windows. I nominate myself as our “taste expert” for such a project.
Probably when relations with Cuba are normalized again we will see this look return…
I’d burn the ‘effing thing.
Its got to have double overhead fox-tails on the antenna too!
Dual lighted CB antennas! Mounted to the rear fenders at an angle…
Make it so!
Confess, Dan – you really have all of that stuff on your truck already, don’t you! 🙂
It’d be worth it if Klockau and Bennett went cruising for chicks in it, and then Syke blows it up while they’re off getting Big Gulps.
The spares on the back look natural on the original ’39 Continental, and I really don’t mind the hump on the Mark II either. It’s a handsome car, and it would look great with or without it. I have some shots of a white ’58 Impala coupe with the kit that I should post, and it looks good too. But that Olds….NO. I won’t bore anyone with adjectives. Just….NO.
In 1957 when I was 13 years old, my neighbors bought a 57 Ford Retractible convertible. It did come with an extended bumper and continental kit as well as fender skirts and dual spotlights. I thought then and still have the opinion that the continental kit added to that car was a wonderful addition that along with the skirts made the car very balanced and even streamlined. Without those items the retractible steel top convertibles made by Ford looked unnaturally squared off in the rear, in my opinion. So, despite all the negative opinions on continental kits I shall continue to blissfully recall summer nights of riding around in that baby blue and white chick magnet with my buddy Kim after we turned 16.
I’m going to go against the contrarians here and say that I like the look of these kits as well. Just because they are different. And in the case of that Mercury pictured above, well, you and a friend always have a nice place to sit down!
They stick these eyesores on actual old cars, because when we were all kids, our AMT 3-in-1 kits (stock, custom, competition) included these!
Model cars at 1:1 scale.
In my shoebox of old family photos, I have a picture that my dad took of a ’59 Ford with a Continental kit, back when the car would have been brand-new. It belonged to a complete stranger. The only reason he took that picture (wasting precious black-and-white film in the pre-digital era) was because Continental kits were so unusual, back in the REAL 1950s. HMMMM…. Is this where I get my habit of photographing other peoples’ cars?
We might laugh at these tire humps, but don’t forget that L-M laughed all the way to the bank with the Marks, & beat the Eldo in sales. From a profit perspective, one of Iacocca’s Better Ideas.
A Mark III was Frog One’s car in “The French Connection.” I hated that smug Frenchman, which is a compliment to Fernando Rey’s acting skills.
You know, the lump on the deck lid of the Lee-era Marks never bothered me, but once they were replaced by the Fox Marks there were some of us working at Ford who wished for a “de-Continental” kit to mark the change to a new era in design.
The 56 (only for 1 year) Thunderbird had a continental kit because many felt the 55’s trunk was too small. 57 had a larger trunk. I’ve heard it affected handling adversely. In the case of the Skyliner it makes sense, as there wasn’t much trunk space either.
As an owner of a Mark III and a Mark VIII you should know where I stand. It could be real, on say a Mark IX with a doughnut spare ala Rav 4.
Surprised no one made a comment about the fake “convertible” top. I HATE them! Horrible on a modern Mark VIII and utterly absurd on a 4 door Town Car.
I 2nd that, about phony convertible tops. The Nissan Murano is probably the only real convertible which *looks* fake when its top is up.
When I read this article (and the comments), I couldn’t help but think of that scene from The Sopranos when Angelo Garepe gets whacked…I imagine everybody who reads this is now going over to Youtube to watch it.
Silly Austrian, they need more shiny-
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185052.html
Ah…all this good taste; and you left out the Pièce de rĂ©sistance.
A Continental kit…on a Continental car.