It was a beautiful Sunday morning, so we headed for the coast. I noticed a Volare sedan ahead of me heading out W. 18th Ave; well, in Eugene, that’s hardly unusual, as there’s quite a number of Volares/Aspens still on the road here. As I got closer to it at a light, I noticed who was in the car; not the usual suspects: hipster, old hippie, old cheapskate, or grungy character. When’s the least time you saw a mom driving her young kids in a Volare? To church, perhaps? And when I got to the light, I saw a sign in her back window. I couldn’t quite make it out, so I crept up closer for a better look:
Works pretty well for me…
I await the ensuing hilarity in comments…..
-Nate
I need this sign for all the right lane speed demons who try to turn the slow lane into the passing lane by bullying everyone out of their way.
And the left lane slowpokes certainly don’t help…
Ryan is one of those…obviously. Anti-Destination League all the way. I bet he would block an ambulance if he had the chance.
Mama has a sweet mullet going on! And maybe someone tried her threat by looking at the busted driver’s side rear back up light?
Don’t need a sign if you have a high bumper.
You guys are all correct. Make that bad paint job, dents, low blue book, and high bumpers. I remember someone commented on a bumper falling off of one of the 77 B bodies. I used to have a 77 Impala that had all of that and an art car parade paint job. My bumper was a painted “2X10. Original fell off while car was on a bumper jack. People stayed away from me and made my 95 mile commute easier by far. I still love that car.
A towbar works ok.
+1. As does a large ‘Diesel’ badge, a soot-black taillight above the exhaust pipe and the occasional heavy prod on the accelerator for the resultant puff of rich diesely fumes!
The person with the oldest, least valuable car always wins.
I think in terms of the “law of tonnage” and the “law of paintjobs”. If you win on both counts, having the largest vehicle with the worst appearance, you always have the right of way. 🙂
One of the reasons I love driving my 93 Crown Vic so much (whenever I can wrestle the keys away from the kids). 🙂
I’ll never forget the first time I drove my grandparents’ brand new ’89 Crown Vic. At the time ISP and all but a couple of local LE agencies on the Illinois side of the STL metro were running Caprices or Diplomats. P71 Fords were very rare.
Despite that, (not to mention the light blue metallic paint, wire wheel covers and broughamtastic padded vinyl top) other drivers would without fail either get out of the way or slow to exactly the speed limit.
I can relate to that! Folks give my old grandma green Couch (as my SIL dubbed my ’96 Vic) lots of space 😀
my 93 lincoln towncar had the same effect.
See: 1975 Riviera posted a few days ago. Fearless in any situation.
There was a dilapidated Towncar in our parking lot with these memorable stickers on the rear:
“I like to be like Barbie, that bitch has everything!”
Hmmm….must be some sort of anti-gay statement…..
So weird, having such a clear view of passengers. The absence of that once-common experience, and all the hi-fi gadgetry, make being in traffic a much less social experience than it used to be. Just a hunch; reverting back to cars like this might be a solution to road rage.
Hmmm, could be, My ’78 Fairmont’s like riding in a little Fox-bodied greenhouse, no hiding in that car 😀
People wearing earbuds. In a car. The Decline of Western Civilisation Part III.
When we moved to middle Tennessee years ago, it soon became apparent that one of the local drivers’ favorite plays was tailgating; we saw a lot of folks involved in this pursuit,
from kids in clapped out Honda Civics to senior moms in Crown Vics. It got to my wife so badly (she’s a Southern California girl, born and bred, so she knows how to drive), that she was seriously considering having a bumper sticker made up for our 960 Volvo wagon that said, “Any Closer and I’ll Fart.”
I agree with that and I saw some real hoopties when I passed through Middle and Western Tennessee.
I love Tennessee and go there every chance I get, but holy frijoles, do I ever encounter the worst. drivers. ever. there.
The only problem with her strategy is what can she possibly buy with the insurance settlement from getting rear ended? How much lower can you really go?
In high school, one of my friends drove a Chevy Monza. He constantly drove in people’s blind spots so he could get a different (cooler) car from a settlement. The Monza was one of his parent’s cars. They had terrible taste in cars – a 1980 Seville with the bustleback, a Citation, the Monza and a Cimarron. At the time, I thought his scheme was half baked. I figured he would end up with a Chevette.
My mama’s 70 Dart was totalled twice in the 90s ($500 or less) and by then there were hardly any 70s cars left in Central New York. None of the collisions were her fault and she bought the Dart back twice.
Hitting someone from behind puts you automaticly at fault here you tailgate at your peril.
+1 in oz
Same in Indiana. I imagine it’s the same most places.
The closer they are, the slower I drive. But generally no one messes with my panzerwagen.
This Volare has Dodge Aspen chrome trim along the side. It is visible in the first picture. The Custom exterior package on the Aspen had chrome trim and a vinyl molding approximately half a foot higher on the body side than the Volare. You can see the location of the Aspen body side chrome trim below.
You didn’t see Volare and Aspen trim mixed up too often from the factory. So, this Volare appears to have an Aspen left rear quarter panel at least.
The Volare body side molding is lower. As seen below…
Do you think the conversation in that car is related to world events or classic literature? Perhaps philosophy? Free will vs. predestination?
Ha! Predestination mode on your GPS navigator. ‘Welcome, there’s no need to tell me where you’re going as I already know. At the next intersection, turn left…’
Thanks! That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all month!
Could be a counterproductive sign too, the small text size causing people to get closer to read what it says!
Saturday I was in Nor Cali. Southbound on I-5 in the pouring rain riding shotgun in my brother’s land yacht Mercedes W-126 Diesel SD , passing a Semi Truck when some yahoo in a Toyletta passed us on the left shoulder ~ two wheels in the soft wet earth ~ we were already going (IMO) faster than prudent because if heavy rain , dense traffic and poor visibility and this @$$hat passed us going 20 MPH faster and just *barely* was able to squeeze back in front of us before the guard rail for a bridge came up….
Whew .
I hate dangerous drivers .
I drive fast yes but never in traffic nor in the rain , after sunset etc.
Working with wrecked cars and dead bodies has that effect on folks .
-Nate