“Welcome to Yoakum Motors, home of the square deal. What can I do you for today?”
“On a tight budget, are ya? Well, y’all have come to the right spot. The first thing I want to mention is that we only deal in the fine products of the Chrysler Corporation, ever since my granddaddy opened this place back in ’48. Best-engineered cars in America, at least until the dang Germans and Eye-talians took over.
“Now over here we’ve got a cherry ’51 Dodge Meadowbrook. Simple, honest car that’ll never let you down. This one was bought new off this very lot by a little old lady who drove it twice a week for 15 years, sold it to another little old lady who drove it once a week for twenty years, then sold it on to a little old man who, bless his soul, had a stroke at the wheel just about a mile down the road. The car rolled into the fence in front of Preacher Jackson’s place, and that’s why it’s got that little blemish in the front. That’ll buff right out.
“Oh, you want something with a little giddyup? OK, how about this immaculate ’64 Chrysler 300? 383 V8, she’ll flat fly. It got hit one time on the right side, but we would never sell a car with a defect like that, so we managed to find a door from a Newport that fit perfectly. And it’s even the same color!
“Too much of a gas hog, you say? Well…come around back and check out this ’65 Dart. Slant 6, three-speed manual, and it’s Resale Red, as they say in the business. Just needs a little detailing. I’m showing it to you now because once it’s out on the lot, I guar-an-tee it’ll be gone in 60 seconds, haw haw.
“Too small? (Sigh) All right, well, we aims to please. This is the one I drove in from home this morning. ’68 Dodge Polara hardtop, 318 for economy, Torqueflite for reliability and that incomparable torsion-bar ride. What did you say? Does it have air? Well, no, but it’s white and when you roll down the windows and swing those side vents around, it’s the next best thing to A/C…OK, I see. Well, let me show you one more. This one I know you’ll like.
“Isn’t she a beauty? ’80 Diplomat, a rare two-door, mind, auto, factory air and a half-vinyl roof for that touch of extra class. When you come rolling up to Bud’s Suds in that thing, the chicks will go wild. Don’t ask me how I know, haw haw. I can put you in it for, oh, $1750, or 36 payments of $80 a week. For an extra hundred, we’ll paint the wheels body color. How’s about it, shall we do the paperwork?
“What, you’re interested in the Mazda GLC? No way, man, that’s a stone classic. You can’t afford what I’m asking for that baby…oh? Okay, well, come back next week, I’m sure we’ll have just the car for you.
“Damn looky-loos. Eunice, got any beers left? It’s hot out here!”
(photos by me, from various forays around South Texas)