If, as I do, you like cars and comedy, Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee series is a viewing must. Jerry arrives at a celebrity’s house in a vehicle that he deems befitting that person’s character… or professional presence… and off they drive to a coffee shop… to talk shop.
But the show is already in season six. What if Seinfeld runs out of comedians? I’m sure many of us would be more than willing to stand in for one.
I pondered what Seinfeld might be driving if he came by my basement apartment for a drive to Hogan’s Diner. What I would want him driving would certainly be my dream car: a Mercedes 300-SL convertible with a hardtop and those gorgeous Euro fishbowl headlamps. But, in the cold light of day, Jerry’s people would probably come up with something completely different. They would look up my car history, which includes a preponderance of station wagons and microcars, and come to odd but proper choice.
“THIS is a Nineteen Sixtee-Three LIGHTBURN ZETA. It was made in Australia, and has an AIR cooled, TWO stroke, TWO cylinder, BOXER engine of 324 CCs. It’s wrapped in a FIBERGLASS body that looks like a CROSS between a Star Wars STORM TROOPER HELMET and a PUFFERFISH. Annnd, although it’s configured like a tiny STATION WAGON, it was marketed as a SEDAN, which is JUST AS WELL, since there is NO TAILGATE, and the only way to access the storage area is to REMOVE the SEATS! But, even DUMBER is that in order to go in REVERSE, you have to SHUT OFF the ENGINE and start it up again… ROTATING in the OPPOSITE direction! You not only have four speeds going FORWARD, you ALSO have four speeds in REVERSE! The only thing more frightening than driving this car in top gear FORWARD, is the real possibility of doing the same thing BACKWARDS!”
So, I don’t get a 300-SL. We are what we are. And, If you are wondering, where Seinfeld would even FIND a LIghtburn Zeta?
It just so happens that I know where there’s one he can probably rent…
What kind of car would Jerry pick you up in?