There are plenty of reasons to love these old BMW 7-series sedans. However, you might be surprised when I tell you why I’m so fond of this particular car.
I’ve always been a light sleeper, and that’s not a problem that goes away or gets better as you age. There lies the secret of my affection for this old BMW sedan, which I’ve nicknamed “Horst.” His owner was kind enough to park him directly beneath my bedroom, and then left him there to sit for several years, gathering dust. I’ve never been awakened early in the morning or late at night by someone revving his motor or rocking out with his new Earth-shaking subwoofer. No diesel clatter has ever been allowed to disrupt my repose. That sort of thing was never a problem with Horst standing guard.
Horst has been on sentinel duty for quite some time, too. Look at those tabs! The license expired in June of 2006, well before I moved in, back in September 2008. (Yes, I bought a condo at the absolute peak of the real estate bubble. Everyone makes mistakes, you know.) So Horst was here even before I arrived on the scene.
Like most cars here in the Pacific Northwest, this BMW does not have much of a rust problem. Little bits of surface rust here and there are all you can see.
If you can ignore the dust, the front end looks good.
I can imagine Horst regaling the younger cars (such as this naive young Mustang) with tales of the Roaring 80’s. I wonder if this fresh-faced kid from Dearborn has any trouble understanding that thick Bavarian accent!
I suppose my neighbor’s trusty daily-driver Aerostar would get a little tired of Horst from time to time. “Shut up, will ya? You’re not the only car around here with a few miles on the clock! And some of us have to commute in the morning, right Betsy?”
I’m not certain what my car would think about all of this, but I’m sure she’d find the right words.
When I decided to take out the garbage one night just a little over a week ago, I saw a very interesting car parked at the curb. It was a BMW 7-series, and it looked just like Horst. The color was the same, and it even had the same case of terminal headliner droop. And then, I looked at the license plate. It was Horst! Being who I am, I naturally ran back inside and grabbed my best camera. But since it was already after dark, I didn’t have much success with taking pictures.
When I came home from work the next day, I was able to get some better shots before daylight faded away. Looking good! Seeing ol’ Horst this way made me cautiously optimistic about his fate. After all, who would dust off and wash car that was headed for the junkyard?
But I looked at the way the car was parked, and I had to wonder if Horst had made it into that spot under his own power. After all, he was sitting with the driver’s door very close to the curb. And besides, wouldn’t I have heard or seen somebody doing all the work necessary to bring that old big six back to life?
I managed to get a good shot of that luxurious interior. Putting the camera right up against the glass on the passenger side works beautifully.
I’ve always just assumed that this car belonged to someone who no longer lived here, who merely left it behind. But then on Saturday, I saw one of my neighbors who was in the process of packing up and moving out. He and I were nodding acquaintances, friendly enough with each other, but we always had trouble remembering each other’s names. Though he was obviously busy, I had to ask, “Is that your BMW out there?”
With a smile, he told me that it was. To my amazement, he added, “just took it for a spin.” For the first time in over seven years, he might have added! All that time, I thought Horst had been sidelined with some sort of major engine failure, but that wasn’t the case. No, he just sort of got forgotten. The owner told me that his main concern was actually the condition of the interior, which looked okay to me, except for that headliner and a bit of clutter.
He mentioned the possibility of selling the Bimmer, in a tone of voice that seemed to say, “Who am I trying to kid? I’m keeping this thing.” I quickly said goodbye and let him get back to taking the legs off of his dining room table. In my haste, I forgot to ask what year the car was. And who can tell with a BMW? To my unschooled American eyes, it could have been anything from a 1977 to a 1982. Exterior changes on these cars proceeded at a glacial pace, and why not? If you ask me, the car’s designer Paul Bracq got it right the first time, and perfection need not be messed with.
Yes, perfection…
Well, it’s been a few days, and that BMW is still parked in that same spot. I’m not sure when Joe (yeah, Joe) plans to come and get it.
One thing that I’ve notice over the years is that if I have a song stuck in my head, there’s usually a good reason for it. Whenever I walk past that car, I hear Sarah Vaughan singing that old chestnut, “Make Yourself Comfortable.”
“Take off your shoesies, dear,
And loosen up your tie.
I’ve got some records here.
Let’s try one on for size.
I’ll turn the lights low
While you make yourself comfortable, baby…”
It’s a siren song! That BMW, with that beautiful shape, that SOHC straight six and those lovely, inviting seats… Oh, those seats! It’s trying to seduce me. All these years, I’ve had the wrong idea about this car. It ain’t no boy, and its name ain’t “Horst.” And when it comes to cars, I’m a happily married man. My 1992 Geo Prizm might not be exciting, but she’s really all that a man needs from a car! I won’t allow myself to be swayed by this Bavarian temptress, this St. Pauli Girl of a car.
“You know you want me, Mike… How do you know he wasn’t serious about selling me? Go ahead, leave him a note, tuck it under my windshield wiper… go ahead, baby…”
This car has been good to me all these years, but… really, it’s time to let go. Sleeping Bimmer, I’m not your handsome prince!
Postscript:
Well, I thought that was then end of my story, but then I ran into Joe (yeah, Joe) one more time. He advised me that the car was a 1980, with about 170,000 miles on it. He then started it up, and opened the hood.
I managed to take a couple of quick snapshots with my cell phone camera. It was running pretty smooth! The exhaust was a bit loud, but not all that bad. He then unlocked the passenger side door and let me try out the seats. The door handle and the door itself had such a solid feel to them; it’s really true what they say about these old German cars. The doors remind you of a bank vault.
At this point in the proceedings, Sarah Vaughan was practically screaming at me… And then Joe advised me that he’d found a buyer for the car, but it looked like the deal might fall through. Was I interested?
Well, of course I was. But every now and then, I do have a flash of wisdom. I’ve only got one parking spot in that garage, and I’m not parking Mom’s old Geo Prizm outside! And I wouldn’t park an old classic like this 7-series outside, either; especially since that sunroof would probably leak a bit by now.
I repeat: Sleeping Bimmer, I’m not your handsome prince!
I know this is about a BMW, but the one thing that popped into my mind reading this post was “holy crap, I literally can’t remember the last time I saw an Aerostar!”
There are quite a few of Aerostars still running around here in the Seattle area. They’re not common like a Corolla or a Camry, but my neighbor’s blue XLT Sport is far from the only one around these parts. I’ve even seen a windowless panel van version recently. An Aerostar is in the “if you look for them, you’ll see them” category out here.
There is a beat up, garbage filled Aerostar I regularly see in my town.
My, that’s lovely. And the M30 is by all accounts bulletproof (timing chain, not a belt). Tempting! Very clean under the hood…surprisingly so. Sigh. Wouldn’t be a bad weekend ride….
Yes, “tempting” is the exact word. The sound of that big six was music to my ears. There are a lot of things that need attention on that car, but I think it would make a good project car/Sunday driver. If I had to choose between this car and the Chevy-Smallblock-powered 1983 “757” that Paul recently wrote about, I’d take this 1980 with the original six.
Oh, by the way, here’s a link to the article that I’m talking about:
https://www.curbsideclassic.com/blog/cc-capsule-1983-bmw-757-and-thats-not-a-typo/
Well, Mike – the good news is that it is an automatic. Who wants an automatic BMW? 🙂
I drove a stick shift version of this car once. Ayy Yeye Yeye! Or should I say Vunderbar!. (now, just watch someone correct me on the German that I don’t speak in the slightest). I had it up to over 90 on I-465 (young and stupid) and it felt absolutely fabulous. Of course, for what they were charging for them at the time, it should have felt that way.
A guy could do a lot worse than one of these. Isn’t Helga worth a rented garage space somewhere?
Well, for a car of this size, I personally prefer an automatic. And yeah, Helga deserves a roof over her head, but my budget sadly does not have room for a project car. That’s one of the reasons why I frequent this site; I can live vicariously through those of you who have such luxuries! I could actually get by with no car at all, (and that would make fabulous economic sense) but I ain’t sellin’ Betsy.
As far as the German goes, I’m a little weak on that myself, in spite of having one German grandparent. My high school German teacher (Frau Umlaut) would be ashamed of me.
I bet Frau Umlaut likes Schnitzengruben and Schwanzstucker. Just like Lili Von Shtupp and
Frau Blücher.
Roll in ze Hay!!! Would you like a shine?
…….
There are many 7 series lawn ornaments around here and one runner nearby, People bought huge quantities of cheap used BMWs ex Japan all models and they litter they landscape its spring here and the stuff that doesnt move gets obvious..
That’s just crazy. I suppose they think that six stationary Bimmers are better than one car that actually runs? Everybody has their own definition of the word “luxury,” I suppose.
More the chance to get a cheap grey import car, I could go on to mention high repair prices but the sort of people who think this sort of thing is a good idea would likely struggle with any repair price…
What an interesting story.
There are three of these old 7s in my town that I know of. There are a burgundy and dark grey one which are both well maintained. The other is a slightly rusty and lived in one with oxidized paint in the same color as the one featured. It seemed to just sit in front of the owner’s house for years, but this week I have seen it driven on the road twice. It is a smoker.
I have a fondness for this generation. Firstly, compared to everything around at this time, this car still looks incredible well. I mean, if you just repainted the car, it would look better than any contemporary BMW or Ford, Buick, Toyota and Hyundai. Seriously, the interior of these cars are gorgeous and I liken them to almost fighter jet cockpits…I really think these cars were overshadowed by the W126s. Frankly, I think these look so much cooler. And those six cylinders were as smooth and sweet as rice pudding and could do 90mph all day everyday! In fact, the faster you traveled, the better the car handled. Just looked at the Seagal movie Marked for Death…A cool 745 was imported by the Jamaican Posse! And my personal favorite, Chevy Chase’s ride in Nothing but Trouble. Bad movie but beautiful 7.
Love, love, love these Cars.
733i also made a movie appearance as the time-travel-improved McFly family’s car in Back to the Future.
Yeah, looks like a newer model, but it has the same wheels as… er, Helga. That’s a classic scene, where Marty has a new red 4X4, Dad has a new Bimmer, and Mom is no longer fat.
Yes the McFly’s car is the ’83 to ’85 facelift version of the E23 with wider BMW nieren (‘kidneys’). Better looking imho, but perhaps that’s because I owned a similar 735i facelift from 1995 to 97.
Marked for Death. What the bumbaclot!!!
I love that movie! When I was a kid it gave me a love of BMW’s. I remember finding a Majorette of a E23 and handpainting it black. Then I’d drive it around on the carpet and shout “You have a BeeeMW, act like Ett!”
But again I was a kid so I didn’t recognize what a box office bomb it was. That BMW though….
I used to see a European grey market 745i turbo of this generation, languishing on the side lot of a hole-in-the-wall repair garage near the intersection of La Brea & Venice in West L.A. It was period correct, right down to the black mesh / polished lip Epsilon or BBS wheels it sported.
It sat there for years and then finally disappeared one day. I hope it went to a good home and didn’t get recycled into a dishwasher 🙁 .
A gal that my best friend was seriously dating at the time also had a 733i, black with red interior and an automatic. It never gave her any major trouble while she owned it. When she and my buddy broke up, she sold it and moved back to her native Peru.
Gorgeous car! Something to be said about BMWs and Benzs from the ’80s…bank vault does apply…
I’m going to be the naysayer here in that the styling of these E23 7-Series just doesn’t appeal to me. (Sorry!). The tail’s too droopy and the front leans forward too much, resulting in the car looking disproportionate, unbalanced and awkward to me. Of course the engine’s still divine, regardless of the wrapper!
You’re forgiven. From what Bryce says, the streets of New Zealand are clogged with derelict ex-JDM Bimmers, so much that I imagine you would get a bit sick of looking at them.
There is certainly a large number of old BMWs here, and many are lawn ornaments, but I don’t see E23s too regularly – someone locally has an ’86 though. I try to like the styling – honestly! – but I just can’t. Mind you, I like 70s Datsun styling, so what do I know lol! 😉
NZ always had a crowded car market though import restrictions kept numbers down, the sheer variety is still amazing, added to that thousands of used ex JDM imports arriving since that loophole was found Kiwis have one of the highest cars to household ratios in the world I have four registered to me right now ridiculous I know, yes Scott one is a Nissan I didnt go much on 70s Datsun styling I refused to even wash my 120Y but it went ok, and the 180B I drove from eastern Aussie across to Donnybrook W.A. was crap to look at really it had a lot of dents and creases in it but it got there,
I like the idea of all the cars in the garage sharing stories. I always imagined my 01′ Saab 9-3 and my landlords new BMW F30 328i having interesting exchanges.
“So I saw the Camry is leaking oil again, what a toaster.”
“Yeah, so much for the Beigekrieg… not everyone is blessed with European handling and engineering like us, hey how’s your Direct Ignition Cassette Saab?”
“I….I don’t want to talk about it…”