John Johnson always fascinated me. Married to my grandmother’s older sister, Margie, he worked in the oil business in Houston, Texas. While far from being a Jock Ewing, the stories he told in his thundering baritone voice always fascinated me. His ability to tell a good story also fascinated me as did the tattoos of topless women he had on both forearms. But what fascinated me most was his big Mercury Marquis.
The Mercury was used sparingly, although John and Margie always drove it for their annual summer trip from their house in Cut and Shoot, Texas, near Conroe, to my grandparent’s house just south of Cape Girardeau, Missouri. The trip was generally about 13 to 14 hours and John always drove it straight through, stopping only for fuel. That Mercury would always do it in comfort and without any fuss. And, the air conditioner was always on full blast.
Oddly, despite my utter fascination (infatuation?) with their silver Mercury, I never once saw it move. Upon arrival at my grandparent’s house, John parked it and only wanted to sit outside drinking coffee, smoking his pipe, and shooting the bull. Margie wanted to talk to my grandmother and didn’t particularly care to be with John.
Incidentally, John’s parking the Mercury in the grass always peeved my grandfather relentlessly. After their departure, he would always fuss about the four dead spots in his grass from the tires. I can remember him saying “He drives that son of a bitch all the way up here without stopping and those hot tires kill my damn grass.” As he was so concerned about less than four square feet of his ten acre property, I suspect his level of excitement over seeing John and Margie was less than my grandmother’s.
I never knew what model year John and Margie’s Mercury was (I did know it was a 1975 to 1978 model), but they loved that car. John said it was the best car Ford ever built, and they were crazy to stop building a real full-size car such as that Marquis.
It occurred to me during one of their annual trips during the late 1980′s the Mercury was beginning to get a few years on it. I had never realized it, but as the teenaged mind is the embodiment of bewildering, I am not surprised it took so long to finally make the realization. So I asked John about it. He got started off on a tangent of a story, that went something like this:
“Yeah, Margie loves that car. Some guy broke into the shed a while back, even got past the iron bars on the door and windows. She saw him out there, loaded up the 12 gauge with birdshot and paid him a visit. Shot him in the ass as he was standing on the boat eye-balling the Mercury. Did you know she keeps a 0.38 in her purse?”
To a 15 year old, this was a most awesome story. So I blasted into the house and asked Aunt Margie about it. She responded, in her smooth silky voice, telling me this while barely containing a laugh:
“Damn that John, he wasn’t supposed to talk about that. That guy broke into the shed, what was I supposed to do? I think I surprised him. That bum bled all over Johnny’s bass boat and then left a bloody butt streak down the side of my Mercury from his trying to get away. I didn’t think I would ever get the blood off my Mercury!”
Even as I proofread this, I have to remind myself they lived in Texas and many things there were more streamlined in the 1980′s. Having been to their house a couple of times, I knew they had an oasis of nice amongst some not-so-nice. As I tried to ask Margie more, she offered up new Mercury information:
“Did you know that is the second Mercury like that we’ve had? The first one was identical. We had just bought it and got it home. The dealer asked us to bring it back in a few days for something. On the way there, I got hit and it shoved me and the Mercury into a concrete wall. I had to kick the window out to leave the car as the doors wouldn’t open. It was ruined and it had 36 miles on it. The dealer just gave us another one since they hadn’t cashed the check yet.”
John and Margie kept their Mercury until 1990 or 1991, when they traded it for a new Grand Marquis. John died a year or so later, and Margie traded it for a Lincoln Town Car. She said the newer Grand Marquis was too small for her 5’10″ frame.
This story is true, although I did change “Margie’s” name. There are some times when truth is better than fiction.
I had not thought of any of this for years until I spotted the featured 1976 Mercury Marquis. While John and Margie had a Grand Marquis, the only difference was a little trim, a few badges, and about $1500 in 1976, as the base price for this Marquis was $5063.
This Marquis is a find for anyone predisposed to wanting such a wonderful cruiser. What sweetens the find is this particular Marquis was for sale (if you hadn’t noticed already) and has only 48,500 miles on it. As far as Mercury’s go, this one is pretty plain, having the base 180 horsepower 400 cubic inch (6.6 liter) V8 and no obvious power options on the inside. As I have a weak spot for big, substantial cars with lots of road-hugging weight, I would love to have it.
The Marquis line was a throw-back to the last redesign in 1973. It was mildly updated for 1974 with a more intense update for 1975. It remained unchanged through its end in 1978, when it was then downsized to the new Panther platform in 1979.
The name “Marquis” replaced the entry level Mercury Monterey for 1975. Mercury sold 28,212 of the base Marquis sedans in 1976. For all derivatives of Marquis riding the 124″ wheelbase, they sold approximately 98,000 cars, excluding wagons. In addition to the standard 400 cubic inch V8, one could still obtain a 460 cubic inch (7.5 liter) V8 to help pull around your 4500 to 4700 pound car.
Does this sound heavy? It’s comparable to a new Honda Odyssey minivan.
I love it. Take away the vinyl roof, and this is the spitting image of my drivers ed car. I have long said that every kid ought to have to learn to drive in something this big. If you can learn to parallel park in one of these, you can handle about anything.
I always thought that the Mercury of those years was a much better looking car than the Ford LTD. Thinking back, a high school friend’s grandparents owned a baby blue one of these and would make a trip to Indiana with it every couple of years.
My only gripe with the styling on these is that I thought they looked much better with fender skirts. I also think that this yellow and brown color combo is perhaps one of the least flattering ever put on this car. Still, I am glad this one is so far away – I would SO drive this car every day.
JP, I found another Marquis of this vintage today, also for sale. Mint greenish with fender skirts and dark green interior. A more pleasing sight to the eyes, but not in the same shape.
“Does this sound heavy? It’s comparable to a new Honda Odyssey minivan.” Good point!
Love it too!
And people wonder why minivans eat transmissions and front end parts. They don’t have this car’s strong underpinnings!
Great yarn, Jack. Visiting other places and times and characters is one of the many pleasures of this site.
This vintage of Merc just never did it for me. The basic shape of it is fine, I guess, but the fussy grilles and vinyl insets and chrome doodads…oh, who am I kidding! Paint this car black and no normal person would think it looks better or worse than the Imp.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism_of_small_differences
“In terms of postmodernity, consumer culture has been seen as predicated on ‘the narcissism of small differences..to achieve a superficial sense of one’s own uniqueness, an ersatz sense of otherness which is only a mask for an underlying uniformity and sameness’.”
I think “ersatz otherness” would be a good name for a cosmetic option package.
Way to crush one’s burgeoning sense of self and identity Dr. Freud.
Hilarious but hard to refute.
Btw, Imp for Impala or Imperial?
Permit me – The Capn’s car is a 73 Imperial. We featured it last year here http://www.curbsideclassic.com/curbside-classics-american/curbside-classic-1973-imperial-lebaron-by-chrysler/
You must check it out – it is a fine, fine fuselage.
Of course! Now I recall. That is one FINE automobile!
Ha! Thanks, guys. I guess the only way to test my proposition is if we can find a black Marquis to drive around suburbia and see if it gets as much attention as my car. Of course, even caring how much random people notice one’s car is probably a symptom of some kind of personality disorder.
I think it’s called “Pride”. Afflicts something like 99% of the human race. Otherwise we’d all be driving beige Corollas.
“Ersatz Otherness” was the original name of the rare “de Sade” edition.
Was that the model that came with passive restraints?
Wow, truth really is stranger (and funnier) than fiction. Great story!
I really admire these big ’70s Ms (and Fs) but would personally so much rather have a big ’76 Caprice or Delta 88. For some reason those are harder to find in good condition, especially at that bargain price. If this Marquis was a Colony Park for $2500, that would be a serious bargain with great “flipper” potential!
While I admire each and every well-preserved vehicle regardless of vintage or style – Colonnades, I’m looking at you – this giant hog has no appeal to me and each and every Ford product of that vintage and for that matter, most Chevys and Chryslers, ditto.
After the initial oil shock that raised its ugly head in March, 1973, the full-sizers lost me and I went to smaller cars once I left the air force that August, only to be hit in the face by the BIG oil shock in September!
Our 1996 Intrepid was our first large car since I sold my avatar in July, 1973, which we only kept for 2½ years and now my 2004 Impala for the last 8 years.
Still, a nice time-machine worth checking out to be reminded of “what once was” to us older ones and to the younger ones “what were they thinking”!
@Chrisgreencar. I picked up my ’72 Delta 88 convert for $1600 a couple years ago. Also, for the past year there’s been a ’75 Pontac Grand Ville convert for sale for $3200. Sometimes you find screamin’ deals still out there.
The Olds I considered a flipper until I learned how rare they are- only 3900 Delta ragtops built, with only 1/4 to 1/2 of those equipped with the 455 Rocket engine rather than the standard 350. Mine also has the royale trim package.
How about submitting an article about your 88?
True, there are deals out there, and congrats for finding one. I do think well-preserved big GM cars are harder to find, though, partly because they didn’t hold up as well in general.
Thanks for making me smile a second time
Love stories like this. All-American car, folks and town.
I find this vintage Mercury to be intriguing to look at, inasmuch as sometimes it looks like an LTD, and other times like the Lincoln. I know they’re all very closely related, but I’m trying to figure out exactly what the differences are. The green one in the ad looks so Lincolnesque. And the featured car looks so LTD-esque. fascinating, in a slightly stomach-churning sort of way.
While the Monterey vanished, the Meteor in Canada still soldered, here a pic of a 1975 model (the 1976 model didn’t got any big changes) http://www.flickr.com/photos/ifhp97/4799311805/
Although the Monterey disappeared after 1974, the 1975 Marquis slotted into the same price class. I think that the Brougham was the next level, with the Grand Marquis on top. Still 3 models, they just dropped the low one and added a new one on top.
Was the Meteor in that era nothing more than the Canadian equivalent of the Monterey, or did it cover a lower price point that would have been in Ford territory in the U.S.? The latter had once been true, but I don’t know if that was still the case by the ’70s. The styling in the photo strikes me as a little bit different from any U.S. full-sized Mercury (somewhat resembling the more downmarket versions of the LTD, i.e., what had been the Galaxie 500 before 1974).
I think it was still the case by the 1970s, here a picture of a Canadian 1976 Meteor http://www.grandmarq.net/gallery/main.php?g2_itemId=427 and it got a front remeniscent of the LTD/Galaxie.
Hey somebody put dual pipes on that bad boy, that’s a step in the right direction there… (OK Dan quit dreaming and come back to reality.)
what have you done with educatordan?
Got him a promotion…
Well done sir!
Awaiting your new avatar, perhaps including tie, cardigan and pipe?
We had a couple of these in my family (I think they were both standard Marquises, not Grands) and they were just as majestically schlocky. My grandfather bought one in ’75 not long before he died, and my grandma kept into the mid-’80s. I think I even remember him getting out of it wearing white patent-leather loafers. Nothing epitomized the mid-70s to me like a retiree stepping out of a Marquis wearing white patent-leather loafers.
Picture it, early 90s… my Grandfather’s brother Paul steps out of a 1985 Buick Century wearing white patent leather belt, white patent leather shoes, and blue houndstooth patern polyester slacks.
Of course, I forgot the belt–the white belt was an essential part of that ensemble.
My dad even dressed that way for about a season, then decided it was ridiculous and put aside the white loafers. Last I saw them, he was wearing them to paint the house.
The white belt and loafers weren’t just for the geriatric set back in the late 1970′s. I remember wearing that ridiculous combination, sometimes with seersucker trousers, and I was still under 30. When my sister in law rolled her eyeballs at me, I gave it up and stuck to khakis.
Add a white tie to the white belt and shoes, it was called the “Full Cleveland.” Still, I’m glad the car is 2,000 miles away. I’d be tempted to buy it.
If I had any musical ability, I would start a band called “The Full Cleveland.”
Around Baltimore it’s called a “full Towson”.
If I lived only a couple of miles from work, I’d pick this up for a daily driver in a heartbeat. Alas, living almost 30 miles from work, I cant even fathom the cost of that round trip 6 days a week in that barge. Still, $2500 is not a big amount of cash for a car with plenty of life in it.
I think the Ford/Merc cars were much better looking than their GM competitors (Delta 88/Le Sabre/Bonneville), much more regal and stately, especially in darker colors.
1978 Mercury Grand Marquis Brougham:
I don’t know if I agree. The ’76 88 was a pretty elegant-looking ride!
That sunroof on the Mercury is a nice touch…must have been on about .005% of the cars built….
Is this car for sale ?
That’s just plain class.
10 mpg city and 14 mpg highway at 70 mph with the 25 gallon gas tank and gas priced at $2.99, I’d be spending $150 a day for gas on a road trip or $300 a month for gas at home. No thanks, not for $2,500. I can get a really decent Ciera for that.
Quadruple the gas price and youll understand why these cars are very rare here.
Quadruple the price? Where are you? If it’s Europe, I am surprised at how popular big ’70s American cars seem to be there, especially the Netherlands and Sweden.
New Zealand gas went down to $1.99L recently x 4.5= $9.00 per gallon big US cars are popular but not as daily drives.
Imperial gallons? For the US gallon use liters X 3.785 but still US$7.53 / gallon.
Wow! We are spoiled in the US. Was fuel 3 times as much in New Zealand back in the ’70s, too?
Yep it hit $1 per gallon in 74 from the previous 48cents
It was a bit of a shock to open the site today and see Cut and Shoot staring me in the face. Grangerland, my town is just a few miles from there. Probably less than 10. We still have nasty things waiting for burglers today. One man, in Pasadena made the national news for that reason about a year ago.
There are a lot of cars like this still motoring down here. Rust doesn’t take them away and if you live in cut and shoot you probably are putting most of your miles on two lane blacktop. You spin a good yarn. Enjoyed it.
I would love to go back down there again someday; I was last in Cut and Shoot in 1984, when I was 11. “Margie” is now 90 and living in Houston.
Incidentally, she and John once had another burglar. I better not say anything more!!!
“I didn’t think I would ever get the blood off my Mercury!” Man, that is some Texas story! Cut and Shoot, TX, comes right out of Blood Simple, 1984, the Coen Brothers’ incredible first film.
It opens looking through the windshield at a dark and lonely stretch of two-lane blacktop rolling by, as M. Emmet Walsh tells us, “The world is full o’ complainers. An’ the fact is, nothin’ comes with a guarantee. Now I don’t care if you’re the pope of Rome, President of the United States or Man of the Year; somethin’ can all go wrong. Now go on ahead, y’know, complain, tell your problems to your neighbor, ask for help, ‘n watch him fly. Now, in Russia, they got it mapped out so that everyone pulls for everyone else… that’s the theory, anyway. But what I know about is Texas, an’ down here… you’re on your own.”
Twenty eight comments, and nobody has thought of the best tie-in between this car and Beater Week at CC – Uncle Buck’s Marquis!
One of my kids and I recently caught the last 20 minutes of Uncle Buck on TV, which IMHO is John Candy’s best movie. The beater Marquis is a classic, and may be the most famous Marquis ever featured in the movies.
EVER HEAR OF A RITUAL KILLING?!?!
My brother in law from Miami is a diehard Mercury man. His 2004 Grand Marquis looks like the day it left the factory. He also has 2 Cougar wagons (1977′s?) in rough condition and a restored 70 Montego.
When he and his wife visit up north, he also doesn’t move the car until they leave for home. Is that a common trait for Mercury owners?
The Cougar wagons must be ’77s — IINM, the only two model years there were ever wagons badged as Cougars were 1977 (same design as LTD II) and 1982 (same design as Fox-bodied Granada), and you’d never confuse an ’82 for a ’77.
The 1977 LTD II/Cougar wagons were reskinnings of the prior Torino/Montego wagons. The wagon body was only offered in LTD II/Cougar form for a year, then was dropped when the Fairmont/Zephyr wagon was introduced for ’78, with downsized full-size wagons also in the pipeline for ’79.
Wasn’t Uncle Buck’s Marquis still under warranty? Or something ridiculous like that?
Very nice find!
While not exactly the same, my grandmother has sitting in her garage a 1997 Grand Marquis LS, Medium Wedgewood Blue, blue leather and all of 23,000 miles on it. Grandpa bought it right off of Mr. Sesi’s showroom floor. I took it for a ride a couple of weeks ago, still feels like a new car. I think I’m going to see about it being put into the will, if you know what I mean
Don’t get me wrong, I’d MUCH rather have my grandma around for a while yet, I’m quite close with her…
I like these cars. But that’s maybe because my first car was a 1977 Marquis. Silver, red vinyl interior. 460, A/C, power windows and door locks. No cruise or tilt. Bought in in the late 1980s off a friend of my dad for $1500 with 75,000 miles. The car had smooth, effortless torque and extremely powerful air conditioning. It had a soft suspension and you didn’t steer it as much as point in the direction you wanted to go. It worked best as a highway cruiser. Considering that it had a 460 (single exhaust) it wasn’t that powerful. I remember trying to do a brake stand with it (I was 18!) but I didn’t have much success. I kept it for a year; but I eventually got bored and wanted something sportier. I bought a 1979 Mustang with a persistent oil leak. I blew the motor on the highway. Shoulda kept the Marquis!
I still love the land yachts of days gone by, but if I ever get another one, it will not be from the malaise era. Maybe a 69-73 Imperial or another 1970 Eldorado, like the one I had about 15 years ago. More power and better performance.
I know a 20 year old guy who has a 76 Grand Marquis in almost perfect condition. He bought it from an older guy who only took it out on nice days as it has never seen snow or salt. It’s brown with a brown vinyl top and brown leater interior. For being a brown car it’s pretty sharp. It has a 460, a sunroof, and pretty much every option for 76. He’s got a 90 Cadillac Brougham as a daily driver so he really appreciates older, BOF American luxo barges, even though his Caddy is the “small” car.
I love that generation of Marquis. My father had a ’77 Marquis, silver with a red top and interior with a 400. When he traded it in ’80 for a Buick Electra Limited (same color combo) he had the two sitting side by side in the driveway, Buick had a 118″ wheelbase, but looked tiny compared to the Marquis. I remember my father looking at the two side by side and remarking about the Buick, “I don’t know how they can charge so much money for such a small car.” Now those WERE the days.
I still drive a 1975 marques , it has 135000 miles on it, but only 7000 miles on a new 400 big block engine. I am the second owner of it. It is only driven on long road trips like going Plano,Texas, and new Mexico, last year. It just cruises at 85 to 90 mph. I pass everything on the road. She is a wonderful car that looks new inside. And out. I still get 14 mpg. At that speed. When one lives in Idaho it takes some time to get to where you want go.