Growing up is hard to do. And it’s so non-linear. One minute you’re back in seventh grade fantasizing about that red-headed girl’s privates, or a red Ferrari. The next minute you’re stuffing kids into the back of a red minivan. Fortunately, certain aids come along from time to time to help make the leap. The Testarossa was one of them. It cured me of Ferarri-fantasizing; well, at least for a new one. And thanks to the Testarossa’s effect being so powerful, the cure lasted for quite a long while.
Describing one’s relationship with Ferraris is a rather intimate undertaking, as for the great majority of us it’s strictly in the realm of fantasy. Which of course is the true brilliance of the brand. It’s become the icon of the unattainable, along with a changing cast of certain women. That’s not exactly how it started out, but mostly irrelevant when it comes to the Testarossa. Because it, more than any other Ferarri, cemented the modern image of the brand.
I say “cemented” and “modern”, because undoubtedly once il Commendatore was convinced to start offering civilized coupe versions of his sports racing cars, like this 1953 212 Pinifarina coupe that was commissioned by Director Roberto Rossellini as a wedding present to Ingrid Bergman, the association with the glitterati was well underway. But then it was still largely royalty and seriously big stars.
But something changed in the nineteen-eighties. Everything that had seemed so lofty and unattainable now edged a bit closer. One just needed to start selling junk bonds, open a Savings and Loan Bank, or sell cocaine. The dream was within reach; it really was A New Morning in America.
It’s not like the Testarossa was only styled for Miami or Los Angeles. Italy was coming out of its “red years”, when it truly was at risk of becoming a neo-communist experiment. That was a very difficult period for carmakers like Ferrari and designer-builders like Pininfarina. And the pent-up exuberance when the dam broke is all-too evident in the Testarossa, the most controversial of Ferarris.
It had been thirteen years since its predecessor, the Berlinetta Boxer first appeared in 1971, as Ferrari’s response to the seminal Lamborghini Miura. Now this was a car worth fantasizing about! Ferrari had finally (and reluctantly) made the switch to mid-engines, and what a beauty it was. And along with the Dino 206/246, it would set a pattern for Pininfarina mid-engine Ferraris that is essentially unbroken today: curvaceous, feminine, and damn sexy. Except for the Testarossa, which was more like a the lead performer at a drag-show.
There was a an unfortunate incident in my loverelationship to the BB. It’s not just because Ferrari never federalized it to sell in the US that actually seeing one on the streets was unlikely, especially in Iowa. So it really did have a mythical and unattainable role, never mind ever actually seeing one in the flesh. But that all changed, when a yellow BB suddenly turned up in Iowa City in the winter of 1975. And was driven daily all winter, with that grimy coating of gray that results from the joys of driving through salted and sanded streets and slush. Sacrilege!!
The driver appeared to be a Saudi, a student at the University, puttering a mile or so between his apartment and the campus. I truly detested him, not only for what he was doing to this car, but also my whole relationship to the brand. The recent run-up of gas prices in 1973-1974 had facilitated his choice of winter driver, and this was not a good PR gesture, for both his country and Ferrari.
Fast forward to 1984, and the Testarossa has finally arrived to take up the mantle as chief lust object. Only one problem: its looks are quite controversial. The famous Pininfarina curves are mostly gone, and the rather angular shape sports huge rear strakes for the radiator inlets, and the widest rear end ever seen on a car, at least in proportion to its height. The front and side views were challenging enough, but standing directly behind it was just painful. It was a mistake that Pininfarina never made again, thankfully.
Ironically, the Testarossa spawned the biggest raft of imitation body kits ever known to man.Or maybe irony isn’t the right word.
Perhaps “just desserts”, or?
Or brilliance? The Testarossa tapped into an area of men’s consciousness that has still not been totally satiated. Or never will.
Is there something subliminal (or obvious) about side strakes? Exposed body orifices that had never been seen publicly before?
The Testarossa’s design is a milestone, in that for the first time the shapes defining racing cars at the time were now the defining theme, with their huge wide rear tires, side intakes, and aerodynamic considerations taking priority. It’s a trend that has largely only continued, but with more consideration to the overall aesthetics. Ferrari’s ever deepening association with their F1 activities was now becoming a key aspect to their design language, one they have played to ever greater commercial success so brilliantly.
I rarely think of Ferraris anymore, except vintage ones from the pre-Testarossa era. I certainly didn’t expect to come across one as a Curbside Classic; I’ve never seen any until this one, who’s owner obviously wanted to keep it a safe distance from the big trucks in the parking lot of this local watering hole.
A few years back, a guy showed up in town one summer offering rides in his less-than pristine old 308 or 328, for $35. He operated out of a small empty lot on a busy street, but after a few weeks, he was gone, having satiated the local demand. He might have picked a better town, or a different neighborhood, as the steady stream of bicyclists and old Hondas there didn’t result in many takers.
But then a year ago, we made our first trip to Paris. Walking down the Champs Elysées on a sunny afternoon, what is sitting at the curb in front of an outdoor cafe, parked highly illegally? A bright red 458 Italia. Like most new Ferraris in recent years (decades?), I never bothered to really look at it before. Suddenly, I allow myself to see it for what it really is, and I’m just standing there dumbstruck. It’s the sexiest thing on wheels ever, and I just don’t know how Pininfarina keeps managing to pull it off. I’m so utterly engrossed, I forget to take any pictures. Or am I afraid of what that would mean? Paris really is for lovers.
The only Ferarri I’m interested in is the one in National Lampoon’s Vacation with Christie Brinkley in it.
meh.
PN-shame you didn’t take a snap of the cockpit as I’m quite curious whether this fellow has clubbed his steering wheel.
Back in late ’86 the owner of the company I worked for bought one of these new, picked it up from Ron Tonkin Gran Tursimo and drove it to his home in Sherwood. He had to take a leak really bad by the time he got home, so he runs in the house, goes, then goes back out to look at it- only to find it engulfed in flames! It was a total loss.
“One minute you’re back in seventh grade fantasizing about that red-headed girl’s privates, or a red Ferrari. The next minute you’re stuffing kids into the back of a red minivan.”
An excellent summing up of the aging process Paul! Also I liked your Morning in America reference, ah…. the Reagan years.
Correct me if i’m wrong, but I believe the Ferarri in Miami Vice was a Corvette with a body kit
The “Daytona Spider” Don Johnson drove in the first three seasons was a Corvette-based kit car. When the series took off, Ferrari sued the kit car company and ran them out of business. After doing that, Ferrari gave the production company two new ’86 Testarossas to use on the show.
I much preferred Tubbs’ ’64 Cadillac convertible.
The Daytona was a kit car? Even so, it still looked better than the Testarosa. Such clean lines and a classic look. I was kind of heartbroken when they replaced it on Miami Vice. I used to think the only people who drove Testarosas were pornographers, cocaine dealers, and lawyers who knew more about their craft than they did sports cars.
I had a relative with an 85 Testarossa, who was not a low-life but a successful businessman who was fortunate enough to indulge his enjoyment of driving sports cars (as opposed to ‘being seen’ in them).
I was too young to get to drive it, but it was an incredible car to ride — that awesome engine sound, massive reserves of cornering and acceleration.
It may look awkwardly angular or garish now from certain points of the compass but in the styling vernacular of the time (check out a Camry from the mid-80s) it was not out of place.
I may have been one of the few that never really cared for the wedge shaped supercars. As kid and now. The most exotic car I ever lusted after was a Porsche 928. Especially if Rebecca DeMornay was sitting in the passenger seat.
Word on Rebeca! I’m also partial to Ferris Bueller very hot babe in the ‘fake’ California
Perhaps it’s a question of the era one grew up in, but I have always thought that this car defined the 1980s, more so than the 928, and much more so than the F40 or 959 because this car was rare and exotic but also somehow attainable. You could get a whale-tail 911 and look like the rest of the yuppies, drive an older Ferrari and look good while dealing with the inevitable problems that cropped up, or get a Testarossa and be king.
If i had a spare $50,000 lying around I’d buy one of these in a second. It’s funny the cars that appeal to you when you’re 10. In 1986 I wanted one of these to go with my fantasy collection of old VWs. Who didn’t want a Beetle, Karmann Ghia, Bus and Thing? In the same way that those cars are childlike caricatures the Testarossa is ego and unbridled arrogance on wheels.
Saw the exact model/color car in Bandon several weeks ago. Rumor has it it belongs to Brad Pitt’s mom, who lives in the area. That rumor probably spread faster than any Testarossa ever went.
This car is nice, but the 512TR that followed this car was much more refined in looks and performance, while still keeping the overall theme.
Frankly, Ferraris never really did it for me. Give me a Jag or some big, mean Bentley over a Ferrari any day.
Wow, a Testarossa in Eugene has to be a rare sighting. What will all the VW Van, Volvo 240 and Prius drivers think?
In 1986, I went with my dad on a trip to Dubuque for either a Porsche 356 or a Chris Craft part (I forget which, I was six years old and Dad had both a 1951 356 and ’62 Constellation at the time) and the place that had the part had a ton of cool cars under tarps. I was wandering around while my dad talked to the guy, and pulled up the tarp on one of the cars, and it was a Testarossa! It blew me away, because it was so unexpected. The only other experience that comes close was in about 1999, I was on Rockingham Road in Davenport and a Gullwing Mercedes passed me going the other way. I almost drove off the road!
I rather like the Testarossa, but I’m not really into Ferraris. I did once take a 1/25 scale Testarossa plastic model body and turned it into a “pro street” dragster. Won a model car contest with that.
I’d like to see a picture of that – what heresy!
Eh, I know these defined the go get ‘em 80′s (and there IS an aesthetic aspect about the early to mid 80′s I like) but the Ferrari’s never really did anything for me but I CAN appreciate them for what they are and represent.
For “exotic” or sports car types, give me a vintage Porsche 911/912, 924 or 928 any day.
And just so you know, I became an adult in 1986, just so you know.
“She has curves in places where other women don’t even have places.”
I don’t know about controversial, when Pininfarina pulls it off, it works. It’s when other tries to duplicate the Testarossa-esque design language it gets controversial. From a design point, that wide ass and those side strakes are a thoroughly modernist approach, it’s about solving a problem the most practical way. If a wide ass and side strakes is what it takes, then that’s what it’s gonna have to be. The genius in Pininfarina is to take the problemsolving to the absolute extreme. Front mounted cooling and cooling ducts through the cabin made problems on the BB. Solution, side mounted cooling systems. Execution: wide ass. Problem solved.
Wide backsides are a problem with new Corvettes and 911s these days too. The Cayman seems much more in keeping with classical Porsche proportions, and naming it after an offshore tax haven was sheer brilliance.
Stumbled onto an all-Eyetalian car show a few years ago. Seeing one Lambo or Ferrari doesn’t really register, maybe because they’re so much lower than typical traffic but dozens of those things, all in candy colors…just wow.
This was the car that made me feel like some kind of wierdo – I mean just why was it that this car that set everyone around me into spasms of delight did absolutely nothing for me. I am happy to read that I am not the only CC reader so afflicted.
Upon looking at the car now, I kind of like it, for what it is. I have no desire to own one, but I can see why others would want to. I am not sure it was ever a car – this is and was an expensive toy.
I will also confess that I always thought that the car’s wide and low butt was its best angle. There was something exotic and menacing about that rear end, which is the view that most other cars probably saw most often. Triumphalistic, even. It is like the car was designed for the purpose of saying “take THAT, you poor fat slow pathetic lowlife slob” to those who could not keep up (which was almost everyone).
The roadster used in Miami Vice for the first few seasons was actually a Corvette with a body kit on it. When the people over at Ferrari learned that the car wasn’t real, they ordered it to “be destroyed”. At the end of one season, the car gets blown up, Bruckheimer style. That was the kit car, to be replaced in the next season by an actual Ferrari.
I notice that the local driver keeps up the parking tradition: parked close to a fire hydrant.
Until recently, a wealthy acquaintance of mine owned a rare 1966 Ferrari 250 California ( or something like that ) . It looked gorgeous and made that wonderful V12 noise, but it was miserable to drive or ride in. No headroom, no legroom, awkward seating position, seatbelts that rode up on your rib cage instead of staying on your lap, teeth-rattling ride. Just awful.
That experience pretty much soured me on Ferraris forever.
This is going to sound weird to you, because everytime I tell this to people in person they all think I’m lying. Back in the 70′s, my friend Dave (who had the U-joint destroying Buick GS I detailed last week in the virginity posting) worked for a body shop. It was not just any body shop, it was one of the premiere ones in our part of Northeastern Ohio.
The shop’s owner Tom, was a friend of my older brother, so we all knew each other. Tom had started out in the auto body business by doing fiberglass work on Corvettes. He was asked if he could fix other ‘exotics’, like big block Camaros. Just kidding. But eventually he really did work on exotics. It was not unusual to go to TKs and see Ferraris, Porsches, Jags, Lamborghinis and Citroens there. This is in Steel Country, Ohio. Very blue collar.
It was great fun to visit Dave at work, because they were in a small building at that time, and anytime they needed to move something from the paint booth to final assembly, it was all hands on deck to move the cars that were in the way. I got to drive all kinds of exotics this way. But only around the (very) small town city block. At about 15 MPH tops. Tom would have killed us if we had done something stupid.
As we got older and went on our own careers, Dave was still working for Tom, and still fixing rusty Panteras. One day in the late 80′s I drop by to see Dave and I see this weird looking red thing. It has these strakes that led to a huge rear end. I had seen pix of the TR in car mags, but it looked totally different in front of me.
Once I recognize it as a TR, I’m interested in it, but not fascinated with it. Maybe it was because by then, I was a bit more worldly, or my old prejudices against Italian cars put me off of it. Just several years earlier, I had witnessed a few rusty 308′s and Countaches and somehow they lost their sex appeal. However, the Porsche and Audi objects of my younger desires were really no better when it came to rot…
By that time, Tom’s shop had moved to a former truck garage and there was no need to shuffle exotics onto the streets of Brookfield Township, Ohio to get a car to the paint booth. No more driving some obscure Italian or German exotic car around the block at 15 MPH just to make room.
Fast forward 20 years later: The far eastern suburbs of Grand Rapids are inhabited by the employees of Amway Corporation. There’s a fair amount of money over in that area, but the locals don’t show it. Most of the time people drive around in their GMC Denali pickups and Suburban LTZs, but every so often the toys come out.
A couple of years ago, I was driving through that area of town on business and I wasn’t really paying attention to my neighbors in the next lane. What do I see when I look over at the left turn lane? An old man (he must have been in his 80′s) driving a then current Aston Martin DB9. Behind him? A younger man (in his 60′s) driving a Ferrari Testarossa, from the mid to late 80′s.
To this day, I still wonder if those two were going somewhere together or if it was just random luck that it happened that way.
This post makes me think there’s something wrong with me. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m (intentionally) ignorant of most things Ferrari . But I just like this car. I think it has a wonderful flow. In cartoons, you can add a little “speed line” to give the impression of motion. The Testarossa is made of nothing but speed lines.
Certain aids come along? Aides. It is an important distinction, particularly for those of us that remember the ’80s!
I actually liked the Testarossa, particularly until they added the 2nd external rear view mirror. There was a two-tone white over black BB in my home town, and the Testarossa that replaced it was much more attractive. I certainly don’t have much enthusiasm for most of the Ferraris that followed the Testarossa. The F512M was just defaced. The 550 was ugly. The 575 was ugly with bad plastic surgery. These days they’re all automatic, which only makes it worse. I still like the way they sound though, and I get to hear them at least once a week living where I do now.
Yes, that’s right, as per my old Random House:
aid: (def) help, support; assistance…a person or thing that aids or furnishes assistance…
aide: (def) an assistant or helper (but limited specifically to being a person), such as a nurse’s aide, or aide-de-camp
Since the Testarossa is not a person, aid is correct. as in Rolaids Are you thinking of AIDS?
#burn
I believe that one of the TR on “Vice” was an actual TR, and one was a stunt buck…still, I’m not sure which I lusted after more…the unmentionables of a woman’s anatomy, or a TR. Both made me feel vaguely dirty…
More of the white jeep ‘Rossa imitator can be found here:
http://www.junkyardlife.com/2012/12/lol-cars-transformed-jeep-cherokee.html?m=0
When I first saw a pic of a ‘Rossa my first reaction was “Meh”. Still is. Just doesn’t do a damn thing for me.