Ok, we all had our Two Minutes Hate the other day, and I must say I enjoyed it myself. Fascinating to hear the secret repulsions of our normally respectful and polite commentariat, and theraputic to unload my own. Now let’s flip the coin to its other side, our secret passions. Those certain cars we know we shouldn’t be attracted to, but just can’t help ourselves. Actually indulging in the compulsion would risk public embarrassment, private condemnation, financial ruin, and/or a horrible death. These are the cars we hate to love.
Myself, it’s always been microcars. The smallest of all, the minimum means to powered, protected travel on the street. Best known, maybe even iconic, is the mid-1950s Messerschmitt. This Italian Mivalino version (in keeping with CC’s green-and-white day) is from the fabulous Bruce Weiner Microcar Museum. Here’s the red 1955 KR200 Kabinenroller I really hanker for. It’s only 11 feet long, four feet wide and weighs 500 pounds. I’ve seen them in shows and they look great! Like a little fighter plane on wheels (no coincidence there).
Yes, microcars are completely ridiculous. Most microcars were responses to poverty. Uncomfortable at best, deathtraps at worst. Bicycles are probably safer. But still, the microcar is so perfectly simple, like a canoe or a one-speed bike. I can’t help it. I’ve spent many happy hours designing modern microcars in my head. Geodesic tube-frames with induction motors. Damn, I can feel my hands itch just talking about it.
Besides, they drive one:
Though you’d think she’d have chosen her namesake:
OK, I’ve revealed my secret compulsion, now it’s your turn.
Some of the cars on this list include:
-The first Generation Pontiac Grand Am
-Alfa Romeos in general
-Malaise era barges
-The Pontiac 6000 STE
-The 1955 Chevrolet Biscayne concept car
-The Final generation Saab 9-5
-The Chevrolet Vega
-The Chevrolet Monza and it’s corporate cousins, and many more cars.
The 1972 Vega coupe really wasn’t that bad looking of a car, sheet-metal wise. It looked like a miniature Camaro. Got a lot uglier though.
Yeah, but when new it drove great even though it was a rolling death trap.
Mmmmm…Safety-bumper free Vegas!……Mmmmmmmm….
Oh, I forgot to mention:
-Any studebaker or Packard
-Mopars
-Saabs
-Pontiacs
-Colonnades in general
-Lincoln Continentials made before 1978
-Ford Thunderbirds
-1980s Cadillacs
-conversion vans
-Corvairs
-Volvos
-All Mopar B-bodies until 1975
-The Oscar Mayer Weinermobile (because it’s ULTRA quirky)
-1st gen Plymouth Valiants and
-GM cars from 1959
Some more cars include:
-Colonnades in general
-Mopar B-bodies
-Pontiac
-Volvos
-Saabs
-Studebakers
-Packards
-1st generation Plymouth Valiants
-Conversion Vans
-Fieros
-1960s & 1970s Opels
-The Scion Fr-s/Subaru BRZ/Toyota GT-86
-All GM cars from 1938-1996
-Most any concept car
-Citroen SM
-Citroen CX
-Citroen GS
-Citroen DS
-Any Peugeot 404
-1973 Nissan Skyline GTR
-Austin Allegro
-Pre-1986 Corvettes
-Oldsmobiles in general
-Nashes
-Hudsons
-Austrailian muscle cars
-AMCs
-That’s it
No Fords ?
All the Fords I like are not what i would consider embarrassing with the possible exception of the Jellybean Taurus (there are enough fans of this car here on CC that I would not put it under a list of embarrassing cars that I like because I don’t feel ashamed of my love of it here).
Update:the jellybean Taurus has grown on me.
I am such an idiot — I was thinking this was the the ‘hate list’. Thank goodness there’s an “edit” feature. Duh… Alfasaab99, I hope you didn’t read my initial comment! Uhh….good taste in cars you have there…
You’re lucky, I didn’t read it.
I forgot to add in the first generation Honda Accord to this list until after I could just add it in by pressing the Edit button.
I’ll a sucker for a hopeless project car. I love cars left out in fields. I love cars missing their engines. Rust is no big deal and missing parts aren’t big deal when I’m dreaming. I love a hopeless case I guess.
I’ve even bought one or two.
I have the IQ of a rock when I spot a project but the worst are the old air cooled beetles. They spit on me and I love them.
I’m that way with Fieros. Bad.
Full-size vans.
Second!
Third. I feel like a spammer. Heavy love on the shorty cargo vans. Here’s my $120 kidnap van.
I love Chevettes. There, I said it. My grandma had a toy version at her house for me when I was young, an early one with the 4 section grille. Later, my mother needed a commuter car and bought a red ’84 5 door, and for some reason I just loved them. It was dorky, short on power, and no frills, but it was dead reliable, and I learned to drive in the thing. It should have been my first car, but the carb went south and parts were hard to find in 1993, so the car was traded in on a Grand Am, and the car I grew up with left my life. I always thought the 3 door model was as attractive as any other small hatch at the time, and had read about a guy that gutted one and dropped a small block in where the wheezy little 1.6 had once resided. I’d love to have another red 5 door just like the one my mom had, and replace the powertrain with something a little more peppy. Maybe a 3.8L from a ’95-’96 Camaro would be a nice fit. You just don’t see the little things around much anymore. I may be the only one that thinks it’s sad, but so be it.
A Cadillac 500 will fit in there.
My mother has a similar love of chevettes.
Hey I-am sorry … the Chevette Was THEE Car I could think of for that other list… Then I Remembered The Buick Skyhawks Took The Cake at Roughly 2x the price no less.
It’s all good. I drove a red ’82 for a few years. Liked it except for the terrible low gearing. I picked up my 80K mile ’85 at an auction for $80 in B’ham several years ago. Only a fool would tow an $80 car 600 miles to his new home rather than junk it & look for another!!
So over the years I’ve acquired a few tach clusters, a tilt column, T1000 aluminum rims & a 5-speed for it. Maybe I’ll get around to putting it back on the road if I can ever find the time.
I think a 2.8 or 3.1 multi-port engine out of a 3rd generation F-car would be a nice upgrade for the Chevette. It’s a narrow engine and the low-profile intake would probably fit quite nicely without any hacking.
Apologies for the crummy pic
A GAZ Chaika. Made in the Soviet Union and not very well, either. But while the reliability and build quality make it laughable, It’s got a good vibe, even if the KGB used them.
Of course, if I can’t have one of those, I’d have just about anything made by AMC or British Leyland. Like a Pacer, or an Allegro, respectively.
I forgot I liked the quirkiness of the Austin Allegro.
Any Studebaker. Even a 59 Lark with a flathead 6 and three on the tree. Even one with all the usual rust. Ancient, unappealing rustbuckets. And I love them.
1970s C body Mopars. Epically awful build quality, Lean Burn engines. Actually, any rear wheel drive Mopar into the 80s. One of them (my 77 New Yorker) mistreated me terribly. But I loved it. I would try another.
Any Volare or Aspen station wagon. I prefer the 1980 (they had 5 years to work the kinks out) but would take any of them. Trim level, powertrain, color – doesn’t matter. I love them.
The 1971 LTD Brougham. When I saw my first new one, I fell in love. It was the most beautiful car I had ever seen. They turned out to be truly, truly awful cars. But maybe if I found a really nice low-mile one with a 429 . . . .
The 1959 or 1960 Lincoln. Preferably the Mark IV or Mark V. I don’t know why. OK, they are just so . . so . . .
A 1977-79 Mark V. I always thought I would look sporting in one of those captain’s hats and wearing white shoes.
Finally – a 1961 Plymouth. I would settle for a 1960-61 Dodge, though. Maybe even in pink.
Oh yeah – Dodge B series passenger vans like the Sportsmans, Prospectors and Ram Wagons. Regular length 8 passenger window vans.
Don’t get a Volare. That car was the first car my tough, truck driving, West Virginia coal mining Uncle ever bought new. It was so badly made and the dealer treated him so shabbily that I saw him and my aunt cry. I haven’t really liked mopars since then and have never bought one used or new.
I very much liked the ’71 LTD — the full-width taillight with the added center brake light just owns me. The Brougham high back seats look very plush.
I remember seeing a /6 Aspen wagon in the boneyard several years ago with a factory 4-speed. I still have the window sticker (or factory invoice..whatever) around somewhere. Didn’t see too many of those!
Pic is from coconv’s album on Flickr.
The Honda 600 Z would be that car for me. Do they even MAKE tires that fit these anymore? Parts? Do any junkyards have carcasses I could cannibalize? I doubt it for all three questions. But I saw a daily driver up in Montana and have liked them since.
My buddy during my college days had one, and I had almost constant use of it. Still remember rallying it, and trying it one Sunday for D-sedan autocross. Absolutely neat car. Looked totally silly with a bike rack and two racing bicycles on the roof.
I had an N600 for awhile it was a fun car and it was the only Honda I’ve ever owned and a Z600 would be the only other Honda I’d ever consider. I thought the real Minis had 10″ tires too so I’d bet they are still available, Tirerack still lists 10 as one of the wheel diameters in their drop down but they showed not available when I searched 145/10 which is what I think they used.
Maybe it’s no longer true, but used to be with me all Toyotas and Hondas because they elevated the four cylinder engine to a level the domestics didn’t even attempt even with their six cylinder motors. They ran and ran well. And ran and ran and ran…
Next? A VW Thing.
Next? Full-size pickup trucks.
Citroen 2CV
Ford Granada
Anything with a slant 6 in it.
The plastic clad Pontiacs of the 80’s to the 2000’s.
I can’t help it, I even have one.
Everything/everybody has told me to hate them, revile them, satirize them.
Can’t do it.
I’d like to get one of each and drive them around to the people they p*ss off the most.
Don’t know why, but that’s what I want to do.
I’d start with a 2003 Pontiac Bonneville SSEi, and work my way to other ones.
Just to be contrarian, I guess.
Oh, and recent Mercedes. Again, I know I shouldn’t, but…
You really do need help, and I thought I was bad!
you had to remind me… mark me down for the rubber nosed ’73 & ’74 pontiac grand am.
http://autopolis.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/74-gran-am.jpg?w=600
6000s rule. Be sure yours is the STE. Just look at that dash! (not my car)
I used to have an ’86 — mechanical maladies were awesome because it just added lights/colors to the dash readout.
You call those buttons? Now these are buttons, mate! (channeling Crocodile Dundee)
Is that yours Junqueboi?
Ooooh! Me likey!
Any Citroen, especially the SM.
I’ve been totally blown away by the ’55 Chevrolet Biscayne concept car, too. Ever since dad brought the first pictures home (I was 5). And I was overjoyed to find out that it was restored last year.
Just about any Renault.
Citroens for me too, 2CV (nearly a microcar) and the goddess DS, so ahead of time it’s out of time. French cars are wonderful when they are running.
Biscayne is wild! Nice page on it at Kustomrama.
Anyone else see the Corvair in this car?
Yep, you guys are in the sickness. I love those DS’s.
You guys are trippin, we LOVE to love citroens.
“Actually indulging in the compulsion would risk public embarrassment, private condemnation, financial ruin, and/or a horrible death. These are the cars we hate to love.”
…well okay, maybe the citroens meet 2/4 of these… 3/4 for the 2CV.
I have a Citroen as a daily drive not a 2CV though a Xsara best WRC car of recent times
Bit snowy over your way Bryce! Nice and frosty here in the mighty Waikato.
Ueah had the ice warning light coming on doing that night run a few times glad it wasnt icy as that Volvo understeered bad enough in the wet never mind the white stuff
I fully believe we are completely shortchange here in US without those rally based Citroens. I’d be standing in line for one of those 5 spd., allwheel drive deals.
AMC Pacer…It is the car that took me home from the hospital, and the first car I can remember riding in.
Ford Pinto, especially the wagon.
Any full-size station wagon.
AAAAND…gulp…I kinda like the Honda Crosstour…
X-cars, for some reason, I have a need to have at least one clean FWD X-car, either a Citation 3 door X-11 or a baby Regal/Cutlass Skylark Limited or Omega Brougham.
Yes, I know they are pretty bad, but I want one.
Fieros, again wrong car, but I like their looks and they are pretty unique.
Thank you!!! I was just thinking the SAME thing!!!
My first car was a 1985 Skylark Custom. My parents bought it brand new, it was their first new car. Dad would have bought me a car, but I wanted mom’s old Skylark. Was it perfect? Hardly. But it was a solid little car, having been hit two times, once in the front and twice in the rear, it survived just fine. When I found it in a junk yard in 1998, the doors still closed with the same solid thunk they did when it was new.
I still miss that car…
That looks like a lighter higher qyality paint color very close to my 84 cavs sable brown metallic.
It was a medium grey color, and trust me, it was a horrible, awful repaint! I got into a shouting match with the body shop that did it, they told me to get off their property. I wanted to sue, but seeing how I was only sixteen, my parents wouldn’t let me do it. When I found the car in the junk yard seven years later, the paint had dulled into an almost flat black. If I hadn’t recognized a bumper sticker I had put on it years ago, I wouldn’t have guessed that it was mine!
Massengill’s Towing and Auto Body in Hernando, FL, stay far far away from them!!!
By the way, can anyone translate that Avengers bit? Danke schon!
MMMMM, Diana Rigg.
Best looking lady, EVER.
sorry, maybe paul will be so generous but it’s really all there in the body language. steed is smitten and mrs. peel is decidedly not… i believe (if memory serves) in the next scene they arrive at the destination only to discover that the leopard clad lady beat them and is the proprietress of the establishment.
why oh why did you have to post this clip! now i have to look up every cool avengers car especially mrs. peel’s lotus and john steed’s bentley.
http://www.dissolute.com.au/avweb/cars.html
and the original avengers isn’t it on netflix!
I love old European cars. Air cooled VWs being the worst of the lot. Also newer Land Rover/Range Rover products. I know, real sick, real sick, must seek help..
Well Michael you came to the wrong place to get help.
Another Chevette fan here. Had an 84 “Scooter” no less. Owned it about 8 or 9 years. Purchased new. ** not one ** mechanical problem. Just regular maintenance. One rear window smashed – although nothing to steal inside. Cheap replacement window. Easy fix. Also like the Vega, Pinto, and Gremlin. There. I let it out…. feel much better now, thanks.
I was looking over a Chevette recently not a bad little bomb I know where I can get a 2.3 Bedford van engine to liven it up a bit easy swap the factory did them
The Chevy Vega.
You’s trollin’!
1974 Vega. Motor totally shot at 50,000 miles. No knock, just used oil by the gallon. Hatch hinges broke at 80,000 and the hatch knocked me down in the driveway. With all that glass they are HEAVY. Would buy another GT 4 speed if I could find one in decent shape. Just about impossible because a lot of them were turned into drag cars.
I still have a thing for old Mopar cop cars. I’d love to find a 440-powered old Washington State Patrol 1970 Plymouth. As cop cars went they weren’t bad, with blue interiors and air. It’s more than two decades since I’ve seen one though.
I really liked my 1975 Monza 2+2 fastback with its V8 and 4-speed. It would run 80 mph at 2200 or 2300 rpm, and it handled decently as well. Of course the firewall had to be beefed up where the clutch cable came through, and it ate brake linings quite regularly. I have not seen one of them for a long time either.
And, I’ve always kinda wanted a 1953 Packard 2-door sedan. Harold LeMay had a robin’s egg blue one that I lusted after every time I saw it. Why? I don’t know.
I hate to love that Robin’s egg Blue, for that matter, but I Do.
The Veyron. All of them.
There is a rather large list of cars I think at total crap but I really can narrow it down:
All German Cars, with the possible exception of Opel.
I get the drive all the new German stuff pretty regularly as my friends and clients drive them. They are usually quite happy to let me take a drive. The cars are nice to drive but not really worth their price tags. For example, I drove a Camry SE four cylinder and an E350 in the same week and I thought the Toyota was a better car. The Toyota just felt better, a really good car and like half the money. The German “superiority” thing is just bunch of marketing that justifies the cars’ crazy price tags.
The Good
Anything Honda. These cars have really good engineering in them. They feel good when you drive them and rarely does anything go wrong. A 2003 or so Accord V-6 is a nicely sized pocket rocket.
Hello, my name’s Scott, and I have a confession…I love aircooled VW Beetles and Kombis. I don’t want to, as the engine’s at the wrong end, and cooled by the wrong element, and they’re too slow, and…and…arghh, I can’t help it they’re great. The Kombi must be the epitome of sheer coolness.
Wow, this feels better now I’ve got that out. And I also like the VW K70. And Hansas. And Lloyds. And Hino Contessas. And funny rear-engined 1950s/60s Renaults. And Borgwards (actually no, I don’t hate to love Borgwards, I love to love them). And weird orphan cars like the 1967 South African Glas 1800 sedan that’s on trademe at the moment that I’ve been corresponding with the owner about. And as a serious old/new car fanatic, I should hate my diesel Nissan Laurel, but no, I love that too (so economical, so comfy).
Well, that’s been a successful meeting of “Cars I Hate To Love”, but I can’t quit my meds (obscure old car brochures) just yet. Maybe next time…
VWs are like that I like em but I hate them having owned and driven some and repaired lots theres plenty to hate.
Oldsmobile 350cid LF9 diesel (1978-95) — While the engine had some genuine problems, it gets more criticism than it deserves. With proper care, these engines can actually live a long and relatively trouble-free life. I credit my Grandad’s 1978 Olds Delta-88 Diesel with kickstarting my family’s love affair with diesels.
Buick Roadmaster (1992-1996) — Just about the last traditional fullsize (near-)luxury American car (sorry, no Panther love here). The 94-96 Roadmasters got the same LT1 engine as the Impala SS, but in the guise of a land yacht. Get one with the towing package for the best performance.
BMW 7-series E38 (1995-2001) — What should have been the next evolution of American fullsize luxury cars. The subdued design and BMW nametag should not appeal to me, but it does. Too bad about the pricey repairs as these cars age.
Cadillac Allante — wrong-wheel drive, problematic mechanicals, underpowered sports coupe, but I still think they’re cool.
Zimmer Quicksilver — The look of this rebodied Fiero is very polarizing; you either love it or you hate it, and I’m in the former camp. Unlike most Zimmers which had a neo-classical look of pre-WW2 cars, the Quicksilver draws more inspiration from cars of the 60’s (and arguably the 70’s). It’s only the Fiero greenhouse that gives away its true lineage.
DeLorean DMC-12 — I thought these were awesome even before BTTF came out in 1985.
Certain Features I Hate to Love But I Do..
65-66 T Bird Taillights and Interior …
Pontiac 16 Cubbied Instrument Panels
Cadillacs
TBirds
Lincolns – The Weirder The Better.
Designer Editions
58-60 Lincolns
The Strait Roof of GM sedans in the 80s…89 Toronado had it, 1990 Did NOT
Power Windows
D’elegance…………..
The B-Body Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser. And the Aero-Front ones from 1980 On.
A-Body FWD Wagons, particularly any 86-88 Cutlass Cruiser/Century wagon fully loaded with thr 3.8L V6
The 2000-2005 Mercury Sable. Something just looks right about it.
Peugeot 505 V6
Volvo 960, especially the 1995 update
1975 Chevy Nova
1971 Pontiac Ventura
1957-60 Mercuries, and the 1963 Mercury Meteor S-33 Coupe
Toyota Cressidas… all of them
1982-85 Toyota Supras
Most any 1960s Japanese top of the line sedan that looks like a parody of a 1960s American Mid Size Car, any late 1960s Toyota Crown is probably the worst offender.
Good god Lawrence! There’s a 77-96 B-body that you actually like!? This is bigger than flying pigs!
1. 1992-96 Camry station wagon. Yeah, I know. The Camry is supposed to be the ultimate anti-enthusiast car, magically sucking every molecule of fun out of every drive. However: (a) it’s a wagon, and (b) how can you not love that Gremlinesque D-pillar?
2. 1984-96 Buick Century/Olds Cutlass A-body FWD wagons. We’re supposed to hate the A-body as a design that was behind the times at birth and hopelessly obsolete in the 90’s. However: (a) it’s a wagon. (b) it’s a seriously competent wagon. Get one and start loading it up with stuff. Now go get more stuff because you still have plenty of room. See what I mean? (c) Low acquisition and repair costs, and GM produced it long enough to work all the bugs out. (d) High MPG for a wagon and overall a much more enjoyable and comfortable car than you might expect.
I hate every new NIssan product including the hideous trucks with every fiber of my being — this bloated bubble-blob styling just makes me want to gouge my eyes out — and it seems like everyone here in NC drives them.
I actually like the Cube though…as in…I almost want one the little boogers. I’m ashamed to admit it but I’d prefer one of these instead of what my typical tastes would be in the new car dept (Mustang/Challenger).
I have no love for the Scion xB whatsoever so it really doesn’t make sense.
Crazy as I am about electric cars, and I love the Leaf, it’s weird hippy styling keeps me away. So that’s a different kind of hate-to-love.
The headlights on the Juke make it a mutant. And what’s up with the Murano convertible? Saw one with the top down on the freeway, it made the people in it look like little dolls.
I think it’s the French, Nissan’s tied up with Renault your know, and many Nissans look like current Renaults.
I had a Cube as a rental in Boston a few months ago. Not impressed.
Any shameful Gremlin-love here?
I actually have an odd attraction to anything 1970s AMC. Not sure why; perhaps the Jeep aura rubbed off as Jeep morphed from a side business to the cash cow and dominant brand.
I love Jeeps, but that requires no apology. And I’ve loved Pintos, but for practical, logical reasons…that, and I find them easy on the eyes to my Disco-Era tastes. But the Hornet and Gremlin; the Concord and Eagle? There’s no rational reason…
I’ve always been a fan of the ’74 Matador, ever since they came out. Hey, what can I say, I like circles.
I owned a new ’72 Pinto for five years. Great looking car, fun to drive. Two friends rode in the back seat for a weekend Boston-Montreal trip, I’m lucky they’re still speaking to me. When it came time to adjust the valves, there was no way to get the valve cover clear of the firewall, had to bend things. It quickly fell apart, the whole thing was stuck together with sheet metal screws. Result, neither love nor hate, just meh.
The Impala looked like a 4 door Matador when it Had The Body Colored Plastic surrounding 4 taillights on back…. byt no huge butt