Question Of The Day: What Car Kicked Your Ass?



I bought a 1994 Lexus LS400 at an inop sale recently for all of $900 (plus $120 auction fee).

A new serpentine belt was put on and, miracle of miracles, the car ran fine. Every single button works and even the thin wood for the time has a remarkably nice sheen to it.

The leather seats are immaculate in spite of 197,000 miles on Georgia roads, it looks to be the perfect finance car at $700 down and $60 a week.

There is only one problem with it. I can’t keep the damn thing running.

I added a bit of fuel, replaced the terminals, checked the starter, left the key in it so that it could reset itself, sprayed in a bit of starter fluid, restarted it, waited, restarted, repeat, rinsed, swore like a used car dealer, tried to start it again, pondered the old IBM PC commands of ‘Abort, Retry, Ignore, Fail’ and decided to go out for a beer.

Then I had the fuel pump replaced, replaced the throttle position sensor, replaced the battery, took it to another shop. They saw a few misplaced wires underneath the steering wheel which usually reflects an aftermarket alarm system or remnants of an aftermarket radio system. They can’t figure it out.

I take it to one more place… nada. They ask me about everything else I already replaced. Except maybe I need a new master key. Maybe the ignition is screwed up. Maybe some wire, somewhere in the deepest haunts of the vehicle, is playing the hokey-pokey with a loose fuse. Maybe I need a new computer.

Maybe… I need another vacation.

So while this Lexus is busy kicking my financial ass and molesting my mechanic’s minds,  maybe you have a tale to share.

Feel free to post it here. Misery always loves company and I’m about sixty seconds away from brooming away this son-of-a-bitch to another dealer auction.