It’s Mother’s Day, and since I lost my mom this past year (not to Covid) I thought I’d pay her a little automotive tribute.
My mother would never have imagined herself driving back in Austria. We used trams, trains, buses to get wherever we wanted to get to. And if we really needed a car, like this confirmation outing for my sister and cousin, we hired a taxi, like this 1949 Olds. Room for the whole extended family.
After we moved to the US in 1960 it was essentially forced on her, along with the English language, Wonder Bread, lowfat milk, root beer, and certain other aspects of American life she didn’t take too very well, at least initially. Actually, she took to driving better than those others.
My father had gotten his driver’s license in Vienna back in 1939. I never knew this until more recent years, but it explains why he had a several automotive books and journals from that year. I used to love to read them as a kid, especially “Mit…zig Sachen”. Unfortunately they’re lost, but looks like there’s several copies available online. I’ll have to get one. The brand new KDF Wagen (VW) was featured in great detail, and that’s where I first became familiar with its insides.
My father bought an elderly but solid 1954 Ford Customline V8 four door within a month or two of our arrival in Iowa City. He walked to the hospital for work, but for weekend outings, like this one above near the Mississippi River, as well as shopping and such, a car was a basic staple. And he took my mom down to the quiet little roads in the city park and taught her to drive the big Ford, which fortunately was equipped with both the Fordomatic as well as power steering.
She was somewhat resistant, but quickly got the hang of it. And we all came to prefer her driving to my dad’s, which was always anxiety-producing. She was a relaxed, natural and smooth driver. I’d like to think I got her driving genes—along with a few others—from her.
My father shot Ektachrome slides in large quantities until he abruptly stopped around 1969 or so. There were numerous large slide chests with hundreds of them, and I liked to time-travel with them on trips back home. They ended up with my older younger brother, pictured here with my mom and the ’62 Fairlane that replaced the ’54 Ford. He threw them all out some years back when he had a rather intense turn against his first family, shortly after he divorced and remarried, and not long before he passed away from cancer, three and a half years ago.
So there’s very few pictures of us and our cars from this era, unless they had been taken by someone else, like this one above. Oh well. Families can be very complicated and difficult. As a kid, I couldn’t see whey my parents had fallen out with some of their siblings. Now the same thing has happened with me and my siblings.
There’s just this one picture of the ’65 Coronet wagon that (thankfully) replaced the crowded Fairlane. Here it is in about 1967, when my grandmother came to visit us in Towson. She’s there with my mom on the far side, and that’s me on the near side. My two younger brothers are on the tailgate. My older brother must have taken the picture with his camera.
My dad bought a 1965 Opel Kadett as soon as we moved to Towson that year, as he needed a commuter for the 45 minute drive into downtown Baltimore where Johns Hopkins Hospital is. So the Coronet was now mainly my mom’s car, except for vacations and weekend outings, a common occurrence, typically to go hiking or such.
The Coronet was the first car I ever drove (illicitly, at age 15), and I drove it legally quite a bit too, including a three-day drive home from Colorado in 1970, when my father wasn’t feeling well. It was a rather dull thing with numb power steering, and the extra weight of the wagon in back made it virtually impossible to burn rubber no matter how hard I tried. But I made a lot of memories in it and it never complained.
The ’65 Coronet was a rugged and reliable beast of burden, except for the notorious Chrysler poor idle and stalling in wet weather. It was replaced in 1973 by another Coronet three-row wagon, also with a 318 and TF, exactly like this one down to the color. Given that there were only two kids at home now (I left in 1971), it seems a bit unnecessarily large, but that was common in the times before the energy crisis. The ’65 was sold to neighbors, who used it as a second car for quite a few more years.
I drove the ’73 a few times on return visits home, and it handled and steered somewhat better than the ’65, and the LA 318 seemed a bit perkier than the poly 318 in the ’65, despite its emission devices.
The second energy crisis prompted a lot of downsizing by so many Americans, and the Coronet was traded in on a red 1981 Escort wagon. My mom loved it; it was so much easier to maneuver and park. But I rather hated it; these first year (or two) Escorts had very queasy and tippy handling, the engine was gutless, and the odd torque-split automatic reminded me of an old Hydramatic. Strange sounds and jerky shifts.
The next one was the best car she ever had, thanks to me. In a surprising turn of events, my father actually listened to my recommendation as to a replacement for the Escort, although he wouldn’t touch a Japanese car for himself. It was a red four door base Civic sedan, with an automatic, of course. But it was a ball to drive, out on the narrow, curvy and hilly country roads north of Towson. And she absolutely adored it, calling it her “sports car”. She would have kept it forever.
Except for the fact that one day my father drove off with it and returned with this green Saturn Ion coupe, sitting here in the garage next to his beloved Skylark (Ja Paul, it’s a very fast car!) . She was quite unhappy about that; in fact, decidedly angry. Not just because she didn’t care for the Ion, but because he did it without any input on her part whatsoever. It really was inappropriate, and she held a grudge about it for some time.
The Ion was they last car they drove, also rather inappropriately at the end. He had to finally stop driving due to vision issues, and a circulation issue had caused some cognitive impairment that affected certain memory functions in my mom. So he navigated and she drove, and the Ion accumulated some colorful scars in the process.
That finally ended with my father’s cancer and a move into assisted living. He passed away in 2012, and here I am with Mom after his funeral, the last time I’ll ever have been seen wearing a suit and tie. Like all the women in her side of the family she just kept on going, until one day this past summer when she called my sister in law, with whom she was very close, and told her “I’m going to die very soon”. Four hours later she had a stroke. She passed away peacefully two weeks later on the morning of her 97th birthday, with my niece and nephew holding her hands. She blew me a farewell kiss via Facetime a day or two earlier.
Not a lot of cars for so many decades. But then we Niedermeyers tend to keep our cars for a long time. And hopefully our bodies too.
Sorry for your loss. I could write an -almost- same story about my moms cars and mobility. She’s now 89 and still drives, safely.
May you be blessed with the happiest memories today.
My mother was a great lady, I miss just sitting in the kitchen chatting all afternoon long. She was a very reluctant driver. We lived in the northwest Bronx, a nice part of NYC, and while there were sidewalks everywhere, as well as frequent bus service, it was tough with her mother and 3 kids to get around. She learned to drive probably when she was in her early forties; she’d tried many times earlier to no avail. She drove because she had to; as soon as one of us kids would get our learners permit, she let us drive. She and my father may be gone, but not forgotten.
Our mothers have a lot of influence over us, and their cars stick with people like those of us who congregate here. It was nice to meet your mom in this lovely tribute.
It’s funny that your mother was the better driver of your parents – that was my experience growing up too.
My mom passed from a stroke in August 2017 at 88, and she had many different cars over the years. We have a picture of her with one of her first cars – an early ‘50’s Plymouth 2-door sedan. She owned many Mopars thanks to one of my brothers-in-law. He worked for Chrysler Canada and was always able to get her deals on off-lease executive driven cars. Her last car, though, was a 2010 Honda CR/V that she bought new. In early 2016 they took her license away due to dementia and other health issues, but she always figured she’d get her license (and her car) back. That said, when they take away your license at that age your driving days are over. My sister and her husband bought the CR/V from her estate and it continues to give them good service. She wasn’t too happy about not being allowed to drive anymore, but I think she’d be happy to know that her Honda is still in the family.
Family relationships can be very complex. Thank you for sharing this Paul. I always find the stories about your background and life interesting.
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mother and the difficult situation with your brother. I’m very sorry about that and how unfortunate to lose all those memories that cannot come back.
I know your dad had some . . . Odd. . . Tendencies; I can conceive of someone wanting that era of skylark, even if it’s a little tough, but an ion? Who on earth voluntarily chooses an ion? Those things had zero redeeming qualities. They were hatefulky cheap inside and out, ugly, and had the central instrument cluster over a large expanse of CHEAP plastic dash. The original saturn may not have been a class leading car, but it was reasonably competitive and well put together and it accomplished the purpose of getting people who would NEVER consider a gm car to buy a gm car. It wasn’t profitable. But the ion? Yechhhhh.
Every car had/has a redeeming quality to someone, somewhere. 478,000 Ions were produced and sold. Over the years you’ve demonstrated that you hold some very strong opinions about certain cars, but you don’t need to be a jerk about it, it’s perfectly possible to express your own reservations about a car without insulting someone else’s opinion in the process.
I just love the human interest stories that go along side vehicles. If classic car owners had a dollar for every ” My dad used to drive one of these”…
You had great parents Paul who took the plunge of moving to a different way of life in America.
And here I thought I was the only person who ever owned a rain forest green Ion, with the added gold lettering on the rear bumper.
Your parents had good taste in cars it seems.
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mother, indeed, both of your parents, and your difficult situation with your brother. That is heartbreaking to lose all those memories which can never be replaced.
Thanks for sharing this today. My Mom has been gone for nine years, and fortunately damaged the last of the four cars she owned over 57 years badly enough that it wasn’t too hard to take the keys away, and no one got hurt. And she was the driver in our family, as our Dad never learned to drive when he immigrated here from car-less postwar Europe. My father-in-law has finally stopped driving, voluntarily, but my mother-in-law still drives their quite new Kia Hybrid. I’m pretty sure that will be the last in a long and varied fleet ranging from big American iron to old and New Beetles, a Karmann Ghia, many minivans, a turbo Subaru and a first-Gen Camry.
This was a great Mother’s Day salute. It’s amazing how so often, despite the evolving dynamics within families, mothers remain mothers.
Your mom not taking to Wonder Bread and low fat milk is perfectly understandable.
The suit becomes you 🙂 This was a nice compendium of not only your mother’s rides, but also of family dynamics at play. Sometimes people make choices just because they can, or wish to display their own personal power, not that it makes them correct or necessarily rational choices. I think a lot of people see this playing out in their familial elders over time to varying extents.
That Civic though is great, one of the best of the lineage in most respects.
I wore one (a suit) every day for quite a few years. And even came to appreciate the nicer (more expensive) ones. But I thought they were such anachronisms back then; I was just a decade or two ahead of the curve. 🙂
You nailed it about siblings. The key element is to transcend the childhood dynamics and power trips, but it seems to be very hard or impossible for some.
The best advice I ever got about family members was from a shrink (not mine): “Would you let your adult friends treat you like this?” That’s become my litmus test.
Thanks for putting this together and sharing with us, Paul–especially touching because I & my parents = just about same age as yours.
One of my mom’s sage truisms: “Friends and jobs come and go, but family is family your whole life long.” More meaningful with each passing year!
What a wonderful automotive slant to remembering your Mom! I am happy that you had her for so long. My Mom died when I was nineteen and she was forty-eight. That as on 2/2/63. We never et over the loss when the lobed one is such a fine person. My Mom first drove the family 1936 Plymouth in 1936. Her second car was a 1950 Dodge Wayfarer with many extras. The car was dispose of in 1957 and in 1958 we moved to Manhattan where garaging a car is an expensive proposition. When we needed a car, Mom rented one.
Wishing all the MOTHERS IN YOUR LIVES a HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
Condolences, my Mom died at 90, on Friday the 13th, 2007, still sharp mentally but with progressive macular degeneration her eyesight failed. My dad died at 70, in 1982, he never let Mom drive…that he knew of, she never put a scratch on and he bever checked the mileage. After dad died I gave Mom my ’66 Imperial, she was used to big cars and I wanted her safe from the local idiot driver’s. Unfortunately, her eyesight was declining, she stopped dribving. Think of her every day, sure, she could drive me crazy, but will always miss her. She always planned ahead, after dad died she planned the funerals for her, myself and my sister, including headstones (closing dates pre-paid).
Again, Paul, deepest condolences for your loss.
Paul, that is a touching tribute to your Mother. I’m sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing.
Some women do have a way of knowing when it is their time. Both my maternal grandmother and my wife’s said as much, only a couple of days before passing gracefully at 94 and 95. My own mother is in assisted living and turned 100 last year; we were prevented from throwing a party due to COVID-19. But she is feisty, and might not let go the same way.
Beautiful tribute, Paul. I’m sorry you lost your mom this past year.
Question. What is the three-wheeled vehicle in the background of the ’65 Coronet pic?
That was a Cushman Mailster, used by the Post Office in the fifties and sixties. The attached picture is not the exact model in Paul’s picture, but shows the Post Office livery to good effect.
Thank you!
My parents also downsized into a similar Escort wagon. What a horrible car. Stranded my father in a very sketchy neighborhood in Philly while he was going to see my mom who critically ill was in Temple University Hospital.
Thank you for the wonderful story Paul. I think many of us here have lost their moms. Life without mom is never the same. I felt so alone in many ways. If I had a bad day, I could call mom and she’s commiserate with me. When she is gone, we are all alone in our pain.
My mom drove Dad’s Jetta for about a year after he died in 1997. It had too many memories for her, so she traded it on a 1998 Saturn SC1, automatic. She loved that car and drove up to her death in 2010.
I still don’t like being without Mom and Dad. I miss them both every day of my life.
I got off the phone with Mom two hours ago (and we cooked her dinner last night). She’s been driving sixty years, ever since my Munich-born grandmother had a panic attack behind the wheel of my grandfather’s Hillman Husky when they were making a wedding cake delivery run to the Ardmore Country Club.
Mom is half-Franconian and half-Bavarian and also half-Galician, and fiercely opinionated about everything, and she’s the primary driver now, since Dad’s Parkinson’s has progressed, and she picked the 2021 Avalon for their last gasoline-powered automobile. She fearlessly drove everywhere, in her Anglia, her high school graduation Valiant that lasted thirteen Catskill winters, a brace of full size brood-bearing GM station wagons, and then near-luxury Japanese sedans through the present.
If I can handle New York City traffic it’s because of her.
Condolences on your loss, and thanks for sharing your memories.
That was a very nicely written piece. While there was never a station wagon in our driveway, as a kid I rode in several others. And I can relate to some aspects of the story.
My condolences on your mother’s passing, may her memory be eternal.
@ jim klein; perhaps if someone had been more of a “jerk” inside gm at the time, gm would have made better products and not gone bankrupt? Perhaps saturn would still be with us? Perhaps the ion would be in its fourth or fifth generation and have around 300hp and awd and a giant wing and a tuner boi fanbase?
Or the suits at gm decided that this was good enough and shoved it out the door?
That’s fine to criticize THE CAR (or any car and car company, and we do it and explain our opinion or the objective facts behind that, virtually always in hindsight I’ll note) yet you instead insulted the person (and any person ) who for whatever reason decided that this was the car they wanted to purchase.
There was an Ion Redline btw that did/does actually have a big wing, 205hp, and a fanbase…
The people to criticize would be those making the decisions that turned it into what it was based on your viewpoint. It’s certainly possible that the half-million incremental sales over the Cobalt it was based on were perceived as a good business decision at the time, it probably certainly was for some individuals in charge. Hindsight tells a different story for the company as a whole of course. Every car maker has a history of at least some poor decisions in the past, present, and undoubtedly future as well, that doesn’t necessarily make the purchaser of the product at the time of purchase a fool. By that dint, anyone who isn’t driving the lowest polluting, cheapest to run, best resale holding, most reliable car is a fool from a financial perspective, likely including both of us. But oh, yeah, there are such things as personal preferences, particular needs, and wants that most people consider too when they spend their money.
Hate the car if you want, but explain yourself along with what makes something else better for the same expenditure from the viewpoint of the time of purchase. Don’t insult those choosing it in hindsight when they aren’t (or even if they are) here to defend themselves. Still, this wasn’t a post about a car that was inviting commentary, it was a remembrance of a person and the cars she happened to drive, not a venue to pick apart the cars. So in short for the TL;DR crowd, your comment was highly inappropriate and offensive. If you can’t understand that, perhaps you should move on somewhere else, there’s enough hate in the world already.
This is my 9th Mother’s Day without my mom, who passed away after living with blood cancer for more than 12 years. My mom taught me to drive – and how to drive stick on her Miata. She loved her sports cars (she drove an RX-7 before the Miata), but her dream car was always a Jaguar – except she thought they were too unreliable. After her diagnosis, life became too short – so she got a 2003 S-Type (the XJ felt too old and the X-Type too cheap). We still have her car, still going strong after more than 18 years. I think of her every time I drive it.
Paul, this was a lovely homage. You’ve touched on the family cars before, but I enjoyed this fresh look at them from your Mom’s perspective.
In my case, Mom has been gone nearly 20 years, but her learning to drive is still a favorite family anecdote. Dad taught her in the late ’40s, when my older sisters were small. One fateful day, the family was at some sort of reunion picnic, when Dad sprained an ankle during a softball game. Mom, still with a learner’s permit, had to drive the family home in heavy traffic, from one end of NYC to the other, over a bridge, white-knuckled the whole way. After they got home & she parked, Dad told her “you did great, you’re ready for your road test now!” Unfortunately, Mom was so rattled by the experience that she refused to get behind the wheel again.
Thank you for your touching tribute to your mother. My mother started with a Simca 1500 and then moved on to a Volvo 144. The Volvo much to my dismay refused to die, it kept going. She did burn a few clutches cause she always took off in second gear. Managing three gears was enough for her. Then came a long list of VW Golf, all anemic 1600 cc diesels. Finally she traded up to a Mercedes C, an automatic at last. She was in clutchless heaven for the rest of her life.
That was a lovely tribute to your mother. My mother died earlier this year, too, aged 87, and is greatly missed.
It’s funny what you said about your mother’s driving – my mother was a good driver, and did it by the book. She was very gifted at parking – in to a tight space, fast and accurately, in one go. When she had parked she’d grin and say ‘There, how about that!’, which always makes me smile when I think of it. My father, on the other hand, although a naturally skilled driver, treated it more as a game. I think that may sum-up the differences in women’s and men’s wider approaches to life.
My mother never learned to drive until after my parent’s divorce, in their 40’s. “Where did you get your license, lady, Sears?” Yes, she went to Sears driving school. We flew to El Paso to pick up the 1972 Skylark that grandma gave her. She remarried and bought a Dodge class B conversion van for them to travel, as he had a VW bus that she did not like, “too slow”. She turns 90 next month and no longer drives, but wont let us get rid of the Dodge. The Skylark fetched a good price a few years ago.
I had a colleague at UCLA who had a brand new 1972 Skylark back in the day. It was a beautiful car with light blue metallic paint and a very high quality soft black vinyl interior. Quiet, solid, very well built car. I am not surprised to read that someone would pay a good price for one decades later. IMO the next gen Collonades were not nearly as well constructed.
Being from El Paso and then Los Angeles, it was completely rust free. A two door hardtop with bucket seats, it was destined to become a “fake” GS.
A beautiful tribute to your mother, Paul. Unlike me, you have a gift for economy and efficiency with words and saying more with less. I like that she called the Civic her “sports car”.
A lovely remembrance of your mother, Paul. Wow, 97 years – you are indeed fortunate to have had her as a part of your life for so long! Family dynamics are sometimes fraught with real drama and always interesting. What you have shown us here is how that manifested itself in your parents’ car choices.
In my family, my father was a good, calm, driver but always preferred taking the scenic route at a stately pace. In contrast, my mother, who was the epitome of a Type A personality, was always in a hurry to get to our destination. When she was at the wheel, we flew down the road at speeds far above the limit, seemingly never collecting any speeding tickets. The last time she was pulled over, Mom, then age 72, was clocked at 91 mph on Interstate 85 in North Carolina and got off without a ticket because she reminded the trooper of his grandmother.
@ jim (and Paul) I apologize if my comment was offensive and that was not my intention. I did not intend to insult the purchaser or anyone related. I’m sorry if the commentary on the car was not appropriate and of course you can delete it.
Thanks for sharing your story. Very touching.
Of all the cars my mom owned over the years (10), I really miss her 71 Mustang. That was one nice looking car.
What a great post. My own mother (84 and still driving) fondly talks about her very first car: a Bluebonnet Blue 1958 Plymouth Savoy. Power everything plus the fancy push button Torqueflite. A pretty decent ride for a school teacher fresh out of college and definitely a lot more exciting than the Prius she currently drives.
Touching tribute and condolences on your recent loss. Mums are special, individual not imperfect.
My Mum is 93 this month and not driving now (since about 2013, it just sort of stopped happening) and had a varied car history, some of which you’ve seen here – a Hillman Imp, an Imp van(!), a Triumph Toledo, a Peugeot 104 (less said the better), an Horizon, 2 VW Polos mk2 and then 2 Seat Ibizas, one still in my brother’s custody.
Dad taught her to drive, and never seemed to stop doing so.
She’s never had an ambition for a sports car, nor really “got” cars at all, except for getting to places, but my Alfa officially looks good. That’ll do for me.
And suits? I wore one for work for may be 25 years (to 2010 ish), then dressed down and now work in a business that accepts suits (or jackets and ties) readily, except on Fridays, or if you don’t want to. Stops the “listen to the tie” attitude you can get, at least.
“Mit ….zig Sachen” is a great book. I discovered it in my father’s bookcase when I was around 15 years old. Since then, at 46 years old, I have devoured only a few books with such fervor.
Even today I often like to think of the story when an inexperienced driver was reprimanded by the boss of the workshop or the explanation of the moment of shock or the story of the two ladies in the driving school or how the employees of the workshop tried out what a horse power (1PS) is.
Fantastic book!
As always, Paul, a great and thoughtful piece.
It prompted me to recall my mother’s cars of which there weren’t too many as we were a one car family – and six kids – when we were growing up. It was only after a few of us left home that she had her own cars and they were always on the economical side. She was a good driver and better – i. e. safer – than my father and she taught me how to drive in our 1960 Ford wagon. I’m sure I survived my early driving years because of her instruction.
Her last car was a Mazda which she bought in spite of my advice to buy a Forester. When she ended up in the hospital after being t-boned in the Mazda, she ignored my wisdom once again and replaced it with the exact same car. It outlasted her by several years after my sister and her husband got it.
It was great being able to write something about my mother on this day. Thanks, Paul.
My Mom, gone 23 years (she was 87) learned to drive after my dad died. She was 58. My
Dad never owned an automatic (he was a UPS driver) so when Mom decided she’d better learn to drive we traded Dad’s 65 Valiant, slant six, three speed manual, for a 68 Valiant Signet with the 273 V8, Torqueflite and power steering. By 1972, Mom decided she wanted a car with air conditioning, so we traded the 68 for 72 Valiant, very basic sedan, excpet it had the interior trim package, the 318, Torqueflite, power steering and air conditioning. She drove that for 16 years and her last car was an 88 Reliant Sedan that my brother took over after Mom passed and drove until 2015 when rust finally made it unsafe. All of her cars were very reliable and I’d love to have that 72 Valiant back.
Wonderful ode to your mother, Paul. It sounds like she lived a long and full life. It’s not easy to uproot to another country where you really have to learn the language (and how to drive) as an adult, so big ups to her for handling all that while raising kids!
It’s good to see other families that hang on to their cars. My Mom is still driving my grandmother’s 05 Altima, which she inherited after my grandma passed away in 2011 (thus allowing my wife and I to inherit her 96 Avenger). If it stiĺl goes, stops, and turns, why sell it?!
I called my mother this morning for what it was worth. She is very hard of hearing, especially on a phone, and has advanced dementia. All she said was “thank you” and handed the phone back to my nephew, her grandson. I doubt she even knew who she was talking to now. In fact I am pretty sure since when I had to tell her that her daughter, my younger sister, suddenly passed due to a brain aneurysm, all she said was “oh, that’s too bad”. She still is a pleasant person unlike some with dementia so my nephew and his experienced nurses aide girlfriend watch her in my sister’s house. Will be 89 in June. Speaking of family issues my brother and his family didn’t come to his sisters end of life ceremony and later that evening called the nephew about his grandmother’s money. The nephew was so pissed he wrote his uncle off right then and there. Obviously I am out of the loop as per his issue…
Car wise my mother’s last car was a 1992 Accord that she had to stop driving in 2014. Has low miles naturally and stayed around the house. My nephew, her grandson took the car, gave it a new paint job, and drives it now as his personal car when not using his work supplied truck. He does keep an early 90s Camaro in the garage that was his first car
I got to this late in the day, and really enjoyed both Paul’s and everyone else’s remembrances. My Mom passed 11 years ago yesterday, on Mother’s Day, about ten minutes after my brother and his wife arrived to spend the weekend with her. He took it very hard, and always sends all of us a remembrance each year.
I don’t have any photos of my Mom posing with any of her cars – they were just appliances to her. She learned to drive on a Model A, that I know, as she told me once of how frustrated she was that she couldn’t make the car go in a perfectly straight line (watching her tire tracks in the rear view on a rainy day).
Dad divorced Mom when I was a freshman in college, and she got the 1971 Pontiac Catalina 4-door (400/auto) my grandparents had given us when our ’68 LTD Country Squire was no longer serviceable. Being a gas-guzzler, she didn’t keep it long – a used 1980 Chevy Citation succeeded it, and spent a lot of time in the shop, unfortunately.
She had a good (honest) mechanic, and he eventually suggested she’d be better off moving to something more reliable, so a used second-gen (’91-95) Taurus GL took its place. This car also spent more time in the shop than it should have, unfortunately.
Mom’s final car was a 1988 Nissan Altima GXE, which proved to be reasonably reliable, especially compared to the previous two. I drove it once or twice and found it to be bland and gutless. My siblings and I agreed for it to go to a nephew after she passed, and I believe he was still driving it as recently as a few years ago.
We lost our remaining three parents all in 2018 and miss them greatly. It’s sobering to realize we’re now “the oldest generation.”
Families are complicated. I turn 55 next month on Flag Day. I am the youngest of 4, my mom was a month shy of her 41st B-Day when she dropped me like a calf in June, 1966. Born and raised in Pittsburgh, PA, she was of Hungarian decent. ( Yes we are Steelers fans) I will keep this short, but she did not get her drivers license until she was 50 or so, and the first car she drove on her own was a 1968 Ford Country Squire wagon. We paid $200 for it, the 200k 390 just needed a timing chain. It was that simple of a fix.
I lost Mom in 2010 at age 81 from Alzheimers, really a heart breaking way to watch her loose control of memory and emotions, somehow as she was hours away from passing she suddenly regained her memories of my childhood and experiences we had together, I really felt blessed to have a final conversation with happy memories.
Dad passed at age 90 in 2013 from a stroke, he had battled Parkinson’s, throat and bladder cancer through his later years, had a pacer as well.
I miss them both. Paul, you were lucky to have your parents for so long, sorry for your loss. I lost my niece and her partner last year, he was 61 and had advanced lung cancer, she was 51 and had liver failure. He died in July and she died in November. They lived in my house for 20 years, I now have my nephew (her son) back in his old room, her daughter has visited a few times and may move back in, she’s in California but misses Washington.
2020 was not a happy year. My Dad also had a habit over the years of replacing cars she liked with inferior replacements. Got her mad a couple of times over this.
Thanks for such a great article, very touching too. One of my earliest memories of any sort, in fact, is riding in a convertible Karmann Ghia with my mom at the wheel. I was 3 or 4.
My mother died unexpectedly three weeks ago tomorrow, so today has been pretty melancholy. She was only 71 (they married at 18 and had me at 20), and was about as fit as any 71 year old lady. Just one of those sudden ER visit, domino effect situations that only God understands.
My dad sounds like Paul’s dad, he has always been distant, critical, and a “man of few words”, so the past 20 days have been interesting. He has been more open and emotional that I have ever seen him, and I guess you could say I feel closer to him than I ever have. So God’s plan, not mine. I’ll have to do a write up on my mom’s cars, as much as I can remember anyway.
Wow, that’s recent, very sorry to hear that, my mom and I are right about the same ages as yours and you so it’s perhaps more relatable. I guess just take one day at a time and let your Dad know you’re there, I lost my Dad half my lifetime ago now, not sure which way would be easier to deal with. Probably neither, not something you can really actually “plan” for.
Thank you, I appreciate your thoughts!
I’m very sorry, Importamation. It’s been just about a year since my Mom suddenly passed, at the same general age and in very good health, so this really hits home for me. A year later and there are many normal days, some unexpectedly difficult ones, and no resolution to the conflicting emotions of whether it is better to leave on a high note or gather more time on this earth at the risk of a harder departure. Best to you and your family.
Thank you for taking the time to share that. Some days are certainly better than others! I am worried about my Dad as he has no hobbies, no “fishing buddies”, etc., but he is getting along OK. He even said he might want me to get him set up on Facebook, once I explained to him what it was, and why Mom was always on it LOL.
Thank you for sharing these moments today. Recalling my Mom and her cars always comes to mind on Mother’s Day. My folks were married in 1950 in Newark NJ and made their home near by in Hillside. She learned to drive in their brand new 1958 Chevy Brookwood. They shared this Tropical Turquoise and Cameo beast until 1965. The lack of power steering was a burden but at least it equipped with Powerglide. It quickly rotted out by then and ran poorly. They purchased her brothers 64 Impala with a 283 and PG. He was transferred to Italy and the car was too wide for their roads- or so I was told – for my Dad. She drove this wreck unit 1969 when Dad purchased her a light blue metallic 62 Buick Special off a used car lot with my oldest brother with no input from her. Typical. She drove it until 1973 when she got tee boned by a Dodge Charger. Totalled but no injures.Timing was good for Dad to buy a new car, a 73 GranAm. Once again she got a hand me down. The 64 Chevy became hers until it was hit while parked in front of our house in 77 on the eve of my first day of high school by a drunk driver. A 72 Malibu coupe replaced it. It had A/C but it never worked. It died in 1981. Time for her to get some input, a very sharp 78 LeMans coupe replaced it. She often complained she never had a new car. It took until 2003 to achieve. Her last car was bright red Elantra GT with every option. She picked it out herself and smiled every time she drove it. Called it her sports car too! When she passed in 2010 it went to my brother’s GF who still drives it.
Another good article and even better comments .
“The best advice I ever got about family members was from a shrink (not mine): “Would you let your adult friends treat you like this?” That’s become my litmus test.”
I simply gave up on most of my siblings, they’re all crazier than I am and mean spirited and violent to boot .
I talk to them via a round robin E-Mail chain I created but they’re not welcome in my home .
Parenting isn’t an easy job, I hope I did well with my son .
-Nate
Wow! I talked to my mother a lot in my college years when I was away. She even worked in my office as a receptionist but alas I can no longer talk to her. After my father passed away in 2019, and we talked every week, when I stopped by on the way home, I just had my sister. My brother and I don’t have a lot in common once you eliminate cars so we rarely talk. So it was my younger sister. When I got that emergency phone call when at a nursing home in San Jose I dropped everything I was doing and headed home. I was crushed when I heard the diagnosis and knew she was gone. Now no immediate family to talk to which I still have hard time adjusting to if ever…
Many thanks for sharing your story about your mother, Paul, it was touching and heartwarming. We just got off our call with our mother, who suffered a stroke about 10 years ago – remembering about how our father mounted water bumpers on our old Chevy II – which really stuck out like a sore thumb (he had invested in a company that made those energy absorption systems for buses and freeway exits), and we all laughed about it.
Paul, my condolences to you. My dad’s been gone over 20 years but my mom is still kicking and she drove her Fusion here today. I’m very lucky that she’s 78 and going strong.
I too can relate to a lot of people here with how much I miss my mom. Nearly seven years since that day that changed my family’s life forever. I’ll admit, my reverence for her has gone down a bit. As I’ve gotten older and really analyzed her actions, I realize that she had a lot of flaws and issues and I wish I could’ve had the chance to properly articulate some of my misgivings towards how she liked to parade my “condition” around to everyone (whereas I’ve made it a point to keep it non-existent and let people judge me on my own failings and merits as a person). But arguing with a ghost is not going to bring me peace of mind or help me cope. I just have to go one day at a time and hopefully do her legacy justice. At least now, whenever someone asks me about her or brings her up in general, all I can do is roll up my sleeve and let that picture speak more words than I can ever construe.
Great story Paul and thank you for sharing. My condolences to you and yours.
My own father immigrated to the US from Germany in 1948. He had been in a British POW camp after his plane was shot down over Holland in early 1945. My mom was an American – with a strange twist. She was from a small farm town settled by German immigrants. German was the lingua franca until WWI when that became unpatriotic. Despite the official switch to English, German was still spoken at home and it was my mother’s 1st language despite being born in America. Like your dad, mine passed in 2012. My mom is still alive and will be 102 this year. She hasn’t driven for 10 years. Like your family, we considered her the better driver. My dad learned to fly, but never drove in Germany. This led to some strange driving habits. One that sticks in mind was that he always revved up the engine in Drive while firmly holding the car with the brake pedal. Keeping the power on, he controlled his forward motion by slowly releasing the brake, just as you’d taxi a plane. At about 30 mph, he’d finally release the brake entirely. Our cars needed frequent brake jobs and occasional transmission work. Mom, having learned to drive my Grandfather’s 1954 Ford, had a better mastery of automobile controls. Dad was more fun on the highway because he had a certain distain for speed limits, but around town was dicey if the brakes faded too much. His early Hydramatic Hudson gave way to a Rambler. That 1st Rambler had an automatic. During a period while my dad was gone with the car, my mom got a well used ’59 Rambler American with a stick. She taught my dad to drive it when he came back home. That Rambler finally cured him from driving with the brakes on. Your memory touched one of my own. Condolences on the passing of your Mom.
The description of how your dad used the throttle and brakes like in an airplane is fascinating, and the first I’ve ever heard described like that. No wonder his cars had automatics; no clutches and gears on airplanes! And the propeller is a bit like a torque converter.
Thanks for sharing.
I’m sorry to hear your mother passed away Paul, it always sucks no matter the age or how well lived a life.
We’ve touched before on how similar my grandfather was to your father, your mother managed well to be moved to another country and start over in adulthood. My grandmother did not manage so well, she’d mentioned to my mom that had she known how fast things would improve in the Netherlands during the late 50’s and early 60’s she would never have agreed to emigrate. She only lived 16 years in the new country and died a couple of months after I was born in 1967.
I got a grin thinking about an older lady zipping around town in a red Honda sedan, that generation of Civic sure had a good fun factor to it.
Good on her for learning to drive later in life, between Mrs DougD and I we have 3 grandmothers from Europe and none of them ever learned to drive.
Sincere condolences about your mother’s passing — but at least, at 97, you could say she had a full life! My father is turning 80 this year; time just won’t stand still. It’s important to keep in touch and, Corona permitting, enjoy the company of family, though it can be a challenge.
Sorry to hear about your Mom, Paul. And thanks for the well written reflection.
Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. It’s much appreciated.
I spent the day in Portland with my kids, visiting my younger son who is in an intensive recovery program. He looks (and acts) like a different person, and I’m more hopeful about him than I ever have. Addiction is a living death, and seeing him truly alive is the closest thing to resurrection.
Mother’s Day is a tough one for many of us, whether we’ve lost ours or are someone who is trying to become one but cannot. This was the first without my Mom, the first time I’ve been on the other side of that chipper, happy holiday and realized how much it stings.
This was a fine tribute, Paul, thanks for sharing, and of course, my condolences.
My wife and I each have a matriarch in our families that lived into their late 90s and both are fine examples of lives well-lived, with their optimism and gratitude for life carrying them through tough times and into an enviable age.
The big takeaway here is to never loose sight of those precious memories ~ your mother, father and other beloveds will always be with you in your hearts .
-Nate
A wonderful and touching tribute to your mom.
Sorry for your loss, Paul, and thanks for a nice article. We lost our mom late 2019 at age 92, and thanks to Covid we have still not been able to celebrate her life with her surviving friends/family in her native CA. My youngest son is in the Air Force and in need of a kidney to survive, so we are focused on that now. Best of luck to your son, Paul, and happy to hear that he too has family supporting him.
What a wonderful Mother’s Day story. I’m sorry to read about the loss of your mother.
My mother didn’t learn to drive until she married my father in 1960, and moved to this country from Germany. He taught her how to drive on his 1953 Studebaker Champion Starlight coupe with a column-mounted three-speed manual. As she put, “That almost ended the marriage.”
Yet she later became the car enthusiast, and still loves to drive at age 80!
Very sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing….great condolences. Mother’s day I’m sure is especially tough without her.
I’m a few years younger and my Mother turned 90 this year and we did the same thing we had done with my departed Father 5 years before; she gave up her driver’s license and got an ID card instead. We’ve been driving her for the past 2 years but due to a fall right around the time the COVID restrictions were first put in place, her back pain has been exacerbated making it hard for her to steer (even with power steering). She’s never been a car person, she took over my Father’s car when he stopped driving, and then when she stopped rather than sell the car I accelerated my executor duties and gave the car to my younger sister as an early distribution of my Mother’s estate.. avoiding the cost of selling then rebuying a car that eventually will be purchased.
It was tougher to see my Dad get his ID card rather than license, but his health was much worse (even though he was the same age as my Mother, their birthdays were 1 day apart). By then he was in a wheelchair, and I took the day off so I could take him to the motor vehicle dept but also needed to renew my own license. Of course he’d been driving my whole life; knowing he’d no longer be able to was depressing, more so than when my Mother stopped driving.
One of the unexpected (to me) side effects of her stopping driving was insurance; I never knew that almost all companies required auto insurance for you to keep umbrella insurance policy; wonder what people who don’t own a car but need umbrella coverage do? Raised her homeowner liability as high as they offered, but really would have preferred to keep the umbrella policy in place. But I don’t pretend to understand the mechanics of insurance policies and what they choose to offer.