COAL Hunting: Here We Go Again

I’ve been on the Facebook marketplace for kicks. It does have some merit I’m sure; after all, I did find my used AMG wheels there. Let’s take a virtual tour of what’s on offer within 50 miles of me.

I’m no mechanic, but I think the fire under the hood may have something to do with the rough running….

Oh goodness, that’s tasty. Very nice black leather interior. 150,000 miles. By 2005 the air suspension was greatly improved upon from the factory. I can control myself. I can control myself. I can…

It’s a great car, for anybody trying to get from A to B. Except it’s a money pit that doesn’t move. And for goodness sakes, don’t waste the seller’s time unless you are serious! He’s doing you a favor bringing this to market, after all.

Forget driving impaired, don’t write your Facebook ads impaired! But it’s a “nice parked car” just to hang out in I suppose. A man cave of sorts.

The only words in this ad were “Runs Great”! Maybe the same person who had the F150 with a tree through it.

This would be mine tomorrow, except my wife would think I was out of my mind. Just look how clean that is for almost 27 years old! That would be a great weekend driver. Heck, it qualifies for Antique Auto plates here. Selling for original owner grandma, she can’t drive any more. This picture seems to back that story up. Too bad it’s a Custom instead of the more bordelloesque Limited.

“Here we go again”? What does she even mean? Does he keep getting sick, then gets well, buys a project car, then gets sick and has to sell, over and over?

Poor Saab. I still like Saabs. But they seem to be the Rodney Dangerfield of used cars now.

People are willing to pay way more for this Corolla,

 

or this Focus,

or this disheveled Accord, than this

lovely, low miles 9-5 that has a new looking black leather interior and a clean title. How bad could the Saab be? Is it really going to be any worse than an old S-Class? It’s GM mechanicals should be easily serviceable anywhere. Or am I missing something? These are all four at the same dealer. I’d have the Saab here tomorrow to bunk with Bertha if I could.

This seller gets bonus points for trying to keep the door shut, or the rain out. Maybe both?

Overlooking the typo, I wondered what makes a Town Car a “Floridian Edition”. Aren’t they all Floridian Editions in a sense, fresh from the factory?

Oh, I stand corrected!

The importance of flog lamps cannot be overstated. Flagellation in poor lighting conditions usually leads to unintended consequences.

That’s pricey, but when was the last time you saw one of these in running condition? It probably has $600 of kayaks on the roof, maybe they’ll include those.

This is a fresh build with a crate engine of some sort. They are looking for trades only, hence the $1 listing. I don’t understand a listing that states “trades only”. A lot of them say “won’t sell, don’t ask”. If someone wants to pay cash for something, are you really going to turn that down?

Subliminal messaging done right!