So you already know I’m in the rental business. Now I recently closed on a new acquisition, my first apartment building. It’s hardly new, but that fits in with my proclivity for beaters. And I’m going to rename it Curbside Classic Manor. Just one thing…I’ve sent letters to all the tenants notifying them that they’re all going to have to drive genuine Curbside Classics if they want to live here. If not, they get a 30 day notice. So I figured you all could help me decide who gets to stay, and who goes…
Let’s take a stroll down the parking lot and consider each batch of cars…well, we’re off to a solid start with the first two, but that white Pontiac thingy is looking mighty shiny for my taste.
And it’s got a fricking spoiler, on a four door sedan; Fail! Now where’s my stack of Notices? Hang on, be right with you…Oh, and that other Pontiac? Not exactly my thing, but it’s old enough. That and any GM Deadly Sin automatically qualifies, no matter what the age. Oh wait…in that case, the white Grand Prix Am gets to stay after all. Shoot.
Let’s move along; it’s cold out here today. Who kidnapped the sun anyway? There’s no question about that Roach A-Body. Although it might not be good PR to have it be known that there are roaches at CC Manor. But what about that mini-van thing? And it’s the Nissan version, of course. If it were the rare Mercury, it might be a pass….umm, what was that thing called? No, that Quest has got to go; all wrong here on the front line.
The Conti stays, natch; even if it is a Panther. The T-Bird? Hmm…skating mighty close to Deadly Sin status, eh? Oh right; Ford never really croaked. I’m going to leave that one in your hands, so you won’t accuse me of dragging you along on this for nothing. The Corolla? Untouchable; the City of Eugene has designated all Corollas a cultural heritage object, so its has protected status.
Now we’re not going to have to spend much time on this one. Jeez, maybe I should offer them a 5% discount for being a CC we haven’t written up yet. Never mind; I have a much better one in my files, and no car is worth a break on rent…word might get out.
But that stupid S10 truck definitely has to go…unless I can convince myself it’s a Deadly Sin.
The old Hondoo gets a pass, and certainly the Ford truck. Although for around here, that’s a pretty youthful truck.
This end is pretty ugly: A Camry and an Exploder…They gotta’ go. Oh shoot; they’re both parked in the handicapped zone. Let’s go up and knock on their doors; if they can walk to the door and open it, they’re history. Otherwise, I’m stuck with them. What will this do to my reputation?
That’s a really nice Town Car and Topaz. I remember seeing that pastel blue on many an ’80s FoMoCo product.
Whoops; this post was supposed to run tomorrow. Oh well..
Hey Paul, are those solar modules on the roof? What can you tell me about them?
Looks like it. But don’t take me so seriously…not really my place 🙂
You’re a sly one
More like an old one…can’t be bothered to take on any debt (and lots more work) at this stage of my life. I’m more in the mood to sell than buy.
We are down to very few material goods, mostly because neither my wife nor I give a darn about it. A load of stuff would add to the stress of living in a small space. Anyway, I hear you Paul, it is great seeing your business sold so we can slow down. That is what I told myself last year and it hasn’t happened yet…..
I didn’t say I sold anything yet….
Did you get the shop next door? Because that’d be really sweet.
Its not even aTempo coupe….its a Topaz coupe…WOW.
Seeing a Tempo is rare, a coupe even rarer, but a Topaz coupe is like an automotive Halleys Comet(HA!) that only comes along once in a lifetime, I gotta wake the kids so they can experience this!
Hell, I’m calling the neighbors.
I’d let the Pontiacs stay, dead brands are welcome at Curbside Classic Manor, I would kick the gray Corolla to the curb, way to new and common. The white car is a Grand Am BTW.
I would let the T-Bird stay too, that vintage Thunderturkey is getting mighty rare on the road, too bad it isn’t a Cougar with the pimptastic formal roof.
I would give the Town Car owner 30 days to get proper Lincoln wheels and whitewalls back on that car.
And I would check the Acclaim/Spirit owners apartment for an “unpleasant odor” and an overflowing mailbox, hopefully the cats ate most of the remains.
Believe it or not, I saw a Topaz coupe today but it was a newer ’90s model, white with the 7-spoke alloys. Should’ve gotten a pic, but it was 14 degrees out.
I had a professor with a Tempo sedan (V6 – proudly proclaimed on the fenders) that was a late build toward the end of the run. (I was in college 1995-1999) He was a stuffy old English professor but he drove it around the parking lot like he stole it. You could hear the tires howling in the morning as he drove around looking for a parking place.
Walking to the dinning hall, hear tires howling in the Dana Hall parking lot? Yup that’s him testing the limits of adhesion before most people have even gotten their coffee.
Tom, it was 5º F when I went to the gym this morning. I was only wearing a fleece. Quit being a puss and get the picture.
Frankly, I wasn’t that excited about it. Now, if it had been a ’73 Grand Ville, ’68 Fiat 124 Spyder (saw it last summer but not since), or circa ’81 Lancia Beta convertible (spotted one in traffic in Iowa City during UI homecoming), it wouldn’t have mattered. There’s also a little-old-lady beige Topaz sedan parked near the office with part of the rear bumper cover sheared off. I think Granny Ethel may have had a mishap in the garage.
Protected or not, the Corolla’s got to go; otherwise I mostly agree with the picks. I’d say keep the T-bird, lose the Grand Am.
Just for the record, how long would I need to hang on to my ’01 Impreza wagon to make the cut? It’s begun to develop some patina!
Ah, the Tempo/Topaz. I saw a V6 Tempo on Craigslist yesterday. 150hp in a Tempo sounds interesting.
Man, good luck collecting rent Paul. That’s just about the craziest selection of cars in one spot, considering it is 2013.
Personally I’m digging the custom hot rod Lincoln.
Pay up, sucka!
“Hey Stu! Yo’ rent’s due, muthaf*****! And don’t pull that fallin’ down the stairs sh** again.”
– Frankie Faison, Coming To America
Always a crowd pleaser.
I think Pontiacs deserve special dispensation, no matter how new. It’s an extinct brand after all, which lumps it up with the likes of Studebakers and Nashes..
In order of preference, I’ll take the Grand Prix first, the Grand Am second… Since there are no desirable Oldsmobiles or Mercurys here (sorry, as the former owner of a Topaz sedan among others, they don’t count as desirable).
To the matter of the Topaz coupe, that’s a fairly recent one, but I no longer remember when they made coupes for the last time. I think they stopped in the early 90’s. A friend of mine owned one back in the late 90’s, a black coupe with a red interior and a 5 speed. I was rather enamored of that car (her, too) because the five speed stick gave the otherwise slug like car a smidgen of performance. But just a smidgen. And, it was a Topaz, with all of the other faults those cars had, just in coupe form.
Maybe the Grand Prix is a turbo 3.1? How lucky can I get?
May I suggest another provision for your leases – no old European cars allowed without 1 year of rent paid in advance. One of those owned by a tenant all but guarantees that you will have trouble collecting rent because rent money will invariably be spent trying to keep the thing running. 🙂 I suppose you could offer an exception for air-cooled VWs, but beyond that, . . . .
Any pre-90 3/4ton 4×4 like the blue Ford, stays.
Anything with composite headlights, you’re out of here! I’d begrudgingly give a pass to the Topaz. That would leave the pickup, Topaz, Town Car and possibly the Toyota Tercel and Honda Accord.
Since you won’t budge on the Corolla, my eviction suggestion would be overridden *sigh*. Handicapped or not, the Camry has got to go. While you’re at it, boot the quest. Unsure about the 2-wheeler.
What a great motley crew you will have post-exodus.
A tale of two A bodies: How ironic that an early 80’s Buick A body turns up in this article. Just yesterday I was running around my neighborhood on errands and I saw TWO of the same vintage within a half mile of each ohter. Both were silver/gray four door models. One had definitely lead a “full and interesting” life having but one of its original wheel covers, faded paint, and a general look of shabbiness. It was piloted by an “upper middle-aged” driver of similar apperance. As I turned left at the light and proceeded down the boulevard I encountered, just three blocks further, the much better cared for twin. This second Century had those luscious alloy wheels more commonly seen on Roadmasters. Even though the Texas climate is benign relative to other parts of the country, it was obvious that this car was garaged and maintained. A fleeting glimpse of the driver suggested an older, but very nicely attired, lady.
Anyone who still owns and drives a Plymouth Acclaim is OK in my book. He or she gets to stay indefinitely!
I owned a GP coupe exactly like the one in the first 3 shots.
That was a great car for the whole 4 years I owned it.
Even after I hot an armadillo with it at 215am in the morning on a dark FL highway and knocked it out of alignment. Pontiac fixed that for free!
Def a CC in my book since Pontiacs are now in that big Auto Graveyard in the Sky!
As a landlord myself, from experience, I’d suggest you evect asp the owner of the purple Plymouth k-car. First, it is a purple k-car, second, badly parked, third, flat rear tire. You’re never going to get yor rent on time, if at all, if they take a walk, you’ll be stuck with the costs of removing the car. Unless you want it for yourself.
To connect this to another one of Paul’s posts about being a landlord… RENT! RENT!
I’m practically offended that there are no vintage Taurii in that complex.
Maybe someone actually went to work in one. This was shot on a weekday; not very many empty spaces.
The Mercury version was called the Villager and you could get it with the Nautica trim package. What is it with Ford and sportswear makers cause damn near all of their lines since the 70s had at least one. I should know because I have one of the single year 84 T’bird Fila edition that I’m restoring.
That is a sharp looking Town Car. I bet the seats are slightly mangled blue “leather”.
However, that baby blue Topaz caught my eye. Positively sedate, like a driving school car.
Paul,
As the new caretaker of Curbside Classic Manor you are taking on a great deal of responsibility so hopefully you are prepared for the level of investment needed on your part.
First it now becomes your responsibility to keep these and any other CC’s that happen to move in running. This will mean that you will need to provide some kind of service facilities, fully staffed of course, that can complete any needed mechanical repairs as well as necessary bodywork to keep these gems on the road for years to come.
Next you will need to commit additional resources towards preserving these increasingly rare cars so you will need to provide at minimum carports although full garages would be preferred.
Once word gets out that these amazing facilities are available I am sure you will be rewarded with happy tenants as well as a waiting list of CCers who would love the opportunity to be able to call CC Manor their home.