Image from truemedallic.com
Yes curbivores, I have a major confession to admit to you. I love donks. That’s right, I, CC’s resident eccentric, love donks. I’m almost ashamed to admit it, but I couldn’t keep my obsession bottled up anymore. I had to do this, and I am sorry.
Image from modifiedplanet.com
My love affair with donks all started when I was probably about 8 and first saw one like this in a K-mart parking lot. It was truly love at first sight. Since then, I have wanted one, a lot!
In the summer of 2011, I discovered CC and started learning about the predecessor to Donk-love, Brougham-love. By March 2013, I was already a contributor here at CC. I knew I wanted to let out my Donk-love to the world, but neither CC nor myself were ready to let people know. Now, I believe that CC and myself are ready to hear and be told.
Image from speedycop.com
Reader, before you go to lambast my fanboi-ing of donks, know that donks can do many things, especially being competitive in the world of motorsports. For example, the one above won a LeMons race in 2011. There have also been Donk drag races that they have won. They are competitive
Image from Donk Snob
Now before you place an “offensive” comment about my Donk-love, remember that the damaged Donk I am crying over, above, has met a certain fate that an example of your favorite car might also face at any time too. Remember that the anti-Donk thoughts you are having right now could be quite similar to those of a Brougham-hater or import-hater. Remember, this all can happen to you too.
Image from calguns.net
For the ensuing firestorm, I have took the correct precautions and put a flamesuit. If you need to take a moment to get your anger out, now is the time to do it. Remember kids, safety first, always.
That yellow LeMons pontiac makes me want to cry!
Donks are disgusting, but thats just my white, middle-class, rocker opinion. To each his own , or whatever…
Happy April fools day CC!
What is a “rocker”? Is it a type of chair?
haha, yes. and a type of music fan 😉
Sorry, I only listen to rap. My favorite group is the Chicago Rap Authority (not famous), also known as the C-Rap Authority.
Mine too!
Are you serious?
Sure! Why not! 😀
You know, this could be grounds for me revoking your Membership at The Brougham Society!
Happy April 1st kiddo 😉
Donks – the highest and best use to which any 1971-76 GM B body has been put. Donk on, Mr. Mann.
Depends on who you ask.
Hey. that reminds me. I’m starting a competing group called the Brome Society, for people who can’t pronounce “brougham.’
Makes perfect sense. But then, I remember in the 80s when you used to be able to look up Indiana Bell Telephone Company in the telephone book under F – for Fone Company. I am not kidding. I should have kept one of those old books.
Clearly the seeds of pure idiocy have been planted long before I came into this world…
You should allow the guys with Cameros with council shifters and aftermarket guages to join too.
Not on 71-6 but absolutly for 77-up Bs.
STOP ruining all the fullsize GM B body cars!
Hey, at least they will usually die at the hands of another thug via guns and bombs, instead of becoming crusher fodder
I may be in the minority, but I don’t see how racing a B-body in LeMons is ruining this particular Pontiac. If it wasn’t saved from it’s dreary existence and transformed into a race car, it would surely be a box of crushed steel on it’s way to China by now.
Look at it from the cars perspective: instead of wasting away from inactivity, the car is now pampered with new oil, fluids, parts, paint, and caring hands. It gets to tear it up on a nice, smooth race track, competing with others of it’s kind, rather than submitting to the drudgery of the ever-less-frequent commute on pothole ridden streets with inattentive drivers blabbing away on cell phones.
This car must feel like it’s in heaven now. Or hell………. it is LeMons after all.
BTW, they are not being “ruined” as you insensitive suburbanites would say, but instead becoming canvases for peaceful urban art.
From a sociological perspective, donks are a pretty fascinating symbol. Aesthetically? Well, that red Caprice pretty well summarizes how I feel about that.
All I can think of when I see one driving down a typical urban street is that the ride quality must be just slightly better than a 19th century covered wagon navigating the Oregon Trail. The sound of the suspension/rims/body over potholes pretty solidly confirms this.
I may as well fess up.
Welcome to the club JB 🙂
I hope this “Donks” doesn’t become a regular thing here. Yuck. I’m sure there’s another website devoted to that…..stuff.
Relax, just check your calendar.
What’s the difference between donk and hooptee?
A hooptee looks like it could fall apart at any minute. A Donk looks like somebody paid $20,000 for an overpriced custom job.
A hooptee is a pre-donk. Think of it as the Caterpillar and the Butterfly – when the hooptie goes into it’s cocoon, IE a money laundering operation moonlighting as an auto repair shop, it transforms through use of copious amounts of bondo, ill prep and questionably engineered parts into the Donks we know and love.
Not a fan of highly modified cars of any sort. These however are visual rape.
No, they are car porn.
Maybe I’m missing an April fool’s joke, but you can count me as a donk fan as well, particularly when they’re well done. However, I think the Towncar with the body lift looks atrocious (first photo). For a primer on good vs. bad donks, I recommend visiting the website on Edward’s watermarked photo, donksnob.com… if nothing else it’s an entertaining read.
Edward, maybe you should write a piece on donks vs. bubbles vs. boxes? It’s an interesting distinction that too often goes ignored in online writeups. I think it’s relevant to CC since these are mostly older cars, which as has been pointed out before, could easily have been discarded without this following.
“Maybe I’m missing an April fool’s joke”
Well, you are.
Figured. Oh well, I stand by my comment.
GO ON YOUTUBE AND TYPE IN ….SLABS…..lol thats the latest thing now becouse donks are so unstable,lol its slabs now there as over the top and riddiculas as donks but in a different way,lol ..go look you,l enjoy
Thanks for the suggestion. I’d never heard of a SLAB before, so i did some googling and laughed uncontrollably.
These people use wire wheels as decoration on the INSIDE of the cars! way over the top!
I’m definitely among the stock fans…
I’ve just seen one with a toilet seat and continental kit,a double deadly sin.I need a lie down
SLAB stands for Slow, Loud And Bangin’. It seems to be mainly a Southern term.
Not sure what, if anything, differentiates a SLAB from a Donk — although strictly speaking Donks ought to be limited to Impalas. As another commenter has noted, the leaping deer-like creature that is the Impala’s logo was somehow misinterpreted as a donkey.
As my children have been told many times: “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”
I always wondered how the transition occurred in hip hop culture where they went from low riders with itty bitty Dayton wires to donks. Talk about a 180.
Yup….date check!
my theory on both donks and that style of a couple years ago of using small wide tires that stuck out of the fenderwell is that it is the result of kids growing up playing with cheap Chinese toy cars with mismatched wheels.
I’d rather drive a brougham.
Are you sure?
Oh Mr. Syke, I knew you would see the light one day!!!
It’s a miracle!!!
I will take this any day over the loud music coming from some cars that is so disturbing. I don’t think I am a person who is easily predictable as I am very liberal on some subjects and conservative on others, but loud music from cars makes me want to take hostages.
Usually the loud music is a genre that I don’t like (I never hear anyone blasting AC/DC, for example), and I don’t get the point of a subwoofer so powerful it rattles the car’s body panels. Does that actually sound better inside the car?
Rock & Roll is Noise Pollution?
LOL!
I know it’s probably common knowledge at this point, but just in case anyone wasn’t aware – they’re called “DONKS” because the first car that became popular in donkifying circles was the Chevrolet Impala – and the stylized animal in the Impala logo was mistaken for a donkey.
That fact alone should tell you everything you need to know about donks.
The owners are jackasses?
I seriously just ROFL’ed at that!
Technically a Donkey is a 71-6 Chevy, usually an Impala but a Caprice of that age range is also a Donkey. They were followed by Boxes and then Bubbles.
Well played, MISTER Mann!
If it weren’t for the date on the calendar, I would’ve suggested to double-check your meds!
As well as the meds for Syke and Junqueboi! 😉
Donks… BBBBBLLLLLEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!
I pop a cap in yo a…aw shux man I cannot lie. I roll 15s.
15s? Would those be big enough to donk out a Fiero?
Just sayin’ 😉
On the original Mini they would. 10 inch wheels from new