I’ve been blogging here at Curbside Classic for six months now (and loving every minute of it, BTW), but I still don’t feel quite like a true auto journalist. It feels like something is missing… A paycheck? No… Crappy manufacturer sponsored junkets to events where I have to fight with dozens of other journalists for wheel time, only to get a cease-and-desist letter for violating the press embargo? No, not that either…
I know what I need to boost my auto journo cred: A spy shot!
As some of you may know, my family and I are currently vacationing in Northern California. While I have been keeping my eyes open for some curbside classics to feature in future articles (gotta feed the beast), they are surprisingly hard to come by any more, as gentrification has replaced the jalopies with Teslas (seriously, they are like Corollas in the Bay Area).
By way of consolation, I stumbled upon this disguised car while driving the streets of San Francisco. This is true spy shot stuff, as the hood of my rental is clearly visible in the shot of the above.
I’m not really up on my modern SUVs, so I gotta say I don’t really have a clue as to what it could be. So I will put it up to the Curbivores to help me figure out.
A few observations: The flying buttress rear window treatment is almost certainly part of the disguise, as is the kick-up around the rear window. Also, this SUV was really long, so it might possibly be a three-row model.
Here is a closer shot of the rear. I’m not sure if the Minnesota manufacturer plate helps at all or not.
A new front wheel drive sport-activity vehicle, like the Nissan Juke and the Toyota C-HR. Perhaps a Lexus or a Jaguar version?
https://youtu.be/U6gR9F3CwrQ
A wild guess.
+1
I guess this is the new Jaguar E Pace
Wow! That even looks like the exact same car.
It’s almost certain to be the E-Pace; The Minnesota plates are easily explained because Jaguar has a testing facility located in International Falls, MN.
By Jove, I think he bloody has it! (drops monocle)
No idea, but it makes me sad that in the absence of a grill or a badge, most current vehicles look pretty much the same.
Here we have guesses from Toyota to Jaguar. Imagine for a moment that it’s 1977… would you have this much trouble distinguishing a camouflaged Toyota from a Jaguar?
No, in 1977 no one would have any trouble distinguishing a Jaguar and a Toyota., Hell in 1977 it was unlikely those two brands would be mentioned together in a sentence, except maybe in an accident report!
Also kinda sad that while the kick-up around the rear door window may not be real, the already absurdly high beltline around the front window is.
Sometime in the ’90s I saw an adopt-a-highway sign sponsored by a Toyota/Jaguar dealership. I can imagine they were selling ten Toyotas to one Jag but having an equal number of service bays for each and still needing to work on Jags in the “Toyota side”.
You are right. Even though it is a “new” model, without the camo no one would look twice at it.
Congratulations on the spy shot. I have not seen a camo’d car, but I have seen several of the ones in burkas (the black cloth covers over the entire car, save for lights and windows) that they used to use on cars driving up and down I-75 here in Florida. Apparently, the long run from Michigan to south Florida up and down I-75 is a popular route, and as that road goes right into Michigan, it makes sense. The funny thing to my eyes is that this sticks out more in camouflage than it would just driving around unmasked. With SUVs dime a dozen, it really begs the question of what they are hiding, and from who? And a Minnesota tag? I thought JLR-USA was out of New Jersey.
The camouflage on cars isn’t meant to stop people from seeing them at all. It’s to foil would-be photographers. Obviously one can get a shot of a camo’d car, but the swirls and patterns are meant to distort the image and hide some of the design features. Granted, it’s a bit less effective now with the high-resolution cameras on the market these days, but still enough to maintain some competitive secrets.
It’s like dazzle camouflage for warships
I agree. WWI camo really distorted ships, I think car manufacturers today want you figure it out, and be so interested you might buy someday.
My point was how obvious having a camo’d car in public is versus just having it driving around in it’s natural form. With 2 bazillion SUVs on the road, and most of them sporting blobby styling like this one, it would be just another one puttering around. Hide in plain sight, rather than attempting to hide that new door handle or body crease from prying eyes.
Just what I was thinking.
I’d say it’s just another SUV that will put another death nail into the coffin of cars.
That May Be a stretch.
https://youtu.be/t4zSIVpVMaw
Very few takers on the SS. Overall car sales are down while SUV and truck sales are up. Only a matter of time.
Jaguar was my first guess as well; something about those taillights.
I have a feeling no one would be able to tell even if the wrap was removed.
+1
Since it looks like a BMW, it’s probably a Lexus!
I think they’re one of the biggest copiers of the German’s stylists.
From the general bulby styling, tiny rear window and, especially, the crazy shape of the hatch, the hinge looks to be at least a foot forward of where the top of the rear window is, I’d say Nissan, like a stretched Juke.
European market Nissan Qashqai.
Even under the camouflage, it’s pretty clear those are Nissan (or Infiniti) tail lamps.
My first guess was Lincoln, since the rear haunches seem to be a new Lincoln thing. But, Lincoln’s been using a full-width gate for the rear, and the reverse lights on the F-Pace match exactly to where the secondary cutouts are in the camo.
And congrats on your first time seeing a camo’d car! It’s kinda fun, isn’t it?
Based on the slim taillights, I second most here who say it’s a Jag.
Compare Tom’s second photo to this 5 day old teaser from Jaguar of the E-Pace:
they should sell it with the zany paint scheme intact. might be the only way to distinguish it from every other generic lifted lump littering the landscape.
+1?!
Hey, that’s a great idea! At least that would enable us non-SUV folks to tell what it was.
Even if it weren’t disguised, you couldn’t tell what company made it…They all look alike, nowadays.
Plus, it’s some ugly, appliance CUV…why try to guess a boring blob.
There are 10 of those things on every street in the US.
I love CC, it’s the most engaging website out there…but you know, it’ll be going down the toilet, if we have to start guessing “everyday” vehicles.
I don’t know why they bother to camouflage new cars anymore since they all look alike anyway – just leave the emblems off!
Just imagine, back from the grave, this is the 2018 Packard. Packards demise doesn’t seem so bad now.
The tail lights are LED strips !
The picture made me dizzy. Just threw up my can of Miller.
I, too, am thinking E-Pace. I’ve seen this twice around Minneapolis, and one time I saw it, it was being convoyed with two F-Paces and an Evoque.
Mmmmh whatever the badge is I just gotta have it… this original styling… this distinctive shape… this air of bulbous je-ne-sais-quoi… what with this tiny rear window giving a hint of exclusivity and mystery to the whole thing (as in “I’m a big lasagna, looking back is for losers”). Kudos to these Jaguar designers for taking such a bold styling step!
Soon available in twenty-eight different shades of black, silver and beige at a dealership near you.
Still, congratulations for spotting it, Tom! I’d never have noticed this car myself if it wasn’t for the crazy paint job.
Early 1970’s There was a Toyota/Rolls Royce dealer in Evanston, Illinois.
They always treated me like I was looking to buy my tenth RR. Nope just stuff
for my Hilux.
I got my Toyota Hilux from a Mercedes, Jenson, Toyota dealer.
I’m going Jag E-Pace. Good spotting, Tom
Reminds me of October new car introduction days back in the ’60’s. Every year at new car year introduction time the dealers would soap/paper their windows so no one could get an advance peek of the new models until the official introduction date. The new models were even covered on car carriers until the magic date. When the date arrived, dealers would have unveiling events where everyone was welcomed to the dealership for soda, punch, cake and gawk at the new models.
I think it’s a Jagure ,
F-PACE PRESTIGE,
The wheels are the same,
The back side windows are covered over, who need to see behind you.
The upper rear Spoiler was removed, Gotta save weight,
so it goes Jagure fast, Humm,
To make it really interesting, the white should glow in the dark !
Just another SUV, with make up !