It’s 1958. You’ve just gone to your local grocery store to buy some canned Dole pineapple chunks, because for whatever reason, fresh fruit just won’t do. You notice that Dole is running a jingle-writing contest, with 254 winners, and the grand prize is winning five cars: one from every Ford division! That would’ve been incentive enough for me to enter, even if I do happen to be allergic to pineapple.
As the contest rules stipulate, entrants must write a two-line jingle beginning with the words, “Dole Pineapple Chunks…”. The grand prize winner would win a family of new Fords, consisting of a Ford 500 hardtop convertible, Edsel Citation convertible, Mercury Colony Park station wagon, Lincoln Continental Mark III sedan, and a Thunderbird coupe. Or if five cars was a bit excessive for you, you could choose any two and get $7,500 in place of the other three. Or if you just wanted cash, you could get $15,000 and no cars. But hey, that’s no fun!
Now I’m sure for many of you, the Thunderbird will raise two glaring red flags. First, you may be thinking that there already is a Ford in the prize with the 500. While it’s true that the Thunderbird was technically a Ford, at this time it was considered its own up-market sub-brand as opposed to the “regular series” Fords. Second, you may notice that the pictured Thunderbird is a ’57 and not a ’58 like the rest of the cars. This is because production of the ’58 Thunderbird was delayed until December 20, 1957. Production of the ’57s was extended into the first three months of 1958, and this ad was published in February 1958.
Now I just need to get into my Don Draper mindset, and think up that Dole jingle…
It’s 1958. I win. What do I do?
Take the $15,000, and buy a 1956 Packard Patrician for a few hundred dollars.
Pocket the rest. And, maybe, buy a Thunderbird when it’s 3 years old, and has depreciated.
I know- I’m not very fun.
You make way to much sense.
You, Sir, are my new BFF
Dole Pineapple Chunks are blown
When Lincoln Continental Mark III is shown.
And you, Sir….if this was 1958 and I was picking the winner….it would be you. But you’d have to give the prize to matador.
Split the pool. I’ll take all 250 3rd prizes in cash form.
I’d take the money and buy a nice older house and a Rambler American, and put the other half in savings.
Assuming I’ll be time-traveling “home” to 2014, I’d take the Edsel, the ’57 T-bird and the $7500, put the former in a barn in Paul’s Pacific Northwest and the latter in IBM stock and then stop off in the early ’90s collector-car boom, sell the cars, and put the whole shebang into Apple.
Do you get the matching Ford car carrier too?
They should have thrown in a little English Ford in there for zest, plus it would serve as a nice dingy for the Mark III.
I wonder if anyone won?
At this time Ford was also still breaking out Continental from Lincoln as a semi-separate division, note that it’s a Continental Mark III, not a Lincoln Continental Mark III, so it’s interesting that the contest prize doesn’t include a Lincoln AND a Continental.
And the T-bird is not a ‘Ford’.
Except that Lincoln and Continental were two separate marques back then. So, according to the ad, I’m getting two Fords and no Lincoln.
“Dole Pineapple Chunks– The modern way to eat fruit… Enjoy a can with your favorite cigarette today.”
Since I’ve obviously penned the winning entry, I’ll take the Porthole Bird, the Skyliner Retractable and $7500.
You can chose from one of the 253 other prizes, like a carton of Dreamwhip and a box of El Smello Cigars.
Ahhhh….El Smello’s, just like grandpa used to threaten me with…..
Dole Pineapple chunks are overpriced.
To afford them, you’d need to pull off a bank heist.
I’ll take the cash.
Dole Pineapple chunks are sour and sweet,
add some whipped creme and have a treat!
I’ll take the Mercury, the Thunderbird and 7500 in cash.
Dole Pineapple chunks are sweet and sour,
bad stomach cramps for at least an hour.
I’ll take what’s left.
“Dole Pineapple chunks will make your cold sores sore,
after eating some you’ll look like a three dollar whore.”
I want the Edsel.
Reminds me of the early 60’s joke (Kennedy administration) defining a loser:
A pregnant prostitute driving an Edsel with a Nixon bumper sticker.
I think I was 11 when I first heard it. Given the use of the words “pregnant” and “prostitute”, that was probably the first dirty joke I ever heard. Which is why I still remember it.
dole pineapple chunks good and healthy for a school lunch. Dole pineapple chunks good to eat out on the links or sunday brunch. dole pineapple chunks makes a great dessert that delivers a punch. Dole pineapple chunks.save the juice for the hungover drunks dole pineapple chunks!! If I win I want those cars!!
is it possible to find out who won these cars in ’58? that would be interesting. these were contests of some literary skill. not merely raffle games of chance. a film about 10yrs ago-The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio covers the era.
lars, I’ve been riffing through my “usual” online-archival-newspaper sources tonight, and haven’t found the winners (In October 1958, a columnist mentions the contest as having awarded the prizes, but not the winner’s name or locale). Although the contest itself was in plenty of newspaper ads early in 1958, I suppose it’s possible that results got publicized only in Dole’s magazine advertising….?
If I can find out, I’ll post to this thread, even if it takes a while.
$15K in 1958—hmmm, income-tax rates were higher in ’58, but that $15K would fund most of a new suburban ranch house in the suburbs at most locales in the U.S. back then…
Dole pineapple chunks will put hairs on your chest.On the inside.Spoilt for choice being a Ford,Edsel and Mercury fan.These 58s were good looking cars compared to GMs ostentatious effortsThe Mopars were prettier but I’m not sure if the problems were ironed out.
Dole Pineapple chunks look good in the ad
but open the tin and you’ll see you’ve been had
Maybe it’s the time of day, but this is the 1st time CC made me laugh out loud until I was almost rolling on the floor…..thank you lady and gentlemen.
BTW, I grew up in rural Pa but now live in Florida, and even with much better/faster transportation, the selection of fresh fruit and vegetables at the supermarkets in my small hometown can be dismal. Pineapple isn’t something every super in every town might carry year round. Besides, given the choice, I’d rather buy canned then mess with cutting up a pineapple.
Finally, I suspect that until recently, there were LOTS of contests where no one “won”, but the advertising agency that came up with the contest (ultimately) won the contest.
I certainly hope this 1959 magazine ad that’s currently on eBay wasn’t the winner: “Light as the touch of a trade wind…and so easy on the waistline!”
“Dole pineapple chunks- so light, never heavy
If you buy another brand, you prob’ly drive a Chevy.”
Thunderbird please and the rest cash to put into McDonald’s shares.
Not made from pine, not made from apple,
You-all get none ’til you’ve finished your scrapple
Momma don’t buy store-brand, you get the real Dole,
(No I didn’t bake a pie, now just shut yer piehole)
Enough of your whinging, your backtalk and jokes,
You eat the damn fruit – now fetch my brandy and smokes!
What is impressive is that they offered the cars in high trim form. I recall that at the time cars offered on game shows and such were usually middling cars with few options.
Then again, if they were never awarded………
Dole Pineapple Chunks taste so great and sweet
That’s what I always buy for a tasty treat.
Dole Pineapple Chunks taste slightly better than a turd.
Now give me my f****** Thunderbird.
So, do you want the cars or the cash prize?
And not a pick up in that prize package in sight……thats certainly different from today.
Dole Pineapple Chunks are swell.
If you don’t like them you can go to Hell.