When I graduated high school last June, I decided that maybe if the opportunity presented itself I should reward myself for getting out of the hellhole that school had become. I wasn’t happy with the way things had gone recently so I needed something to give me hope, even if for only a short time. The ’64 Chrysler was stuck waiting on some parts while the Oldsmobile was being used as an in-town car due to its higher mileage, with the Grand Marquis was being used as the longer trip car as it got the best highway mileage of the two. But the Mercury was becoming problematic in more ways than one, to the point where I didn’t feel comfortable driving it at all, and neither did my mom,. So the fix was simple: I had to get a replacement that was better.
At first I wasn’t sure what I could replace it with, I had sworn off any foreign cars as every one I had used or sat in had been uncomfortable and underpowered, and it couldn’t be too old as I wanted it to be fully reliable most of the time. But I also didn’t want it to be too new as I figured by the 2000s there would just be too much electronics to deal with. But it had to be big, get decent mileage, have a V8, and be very comfortable. Then I remembered that GMs B-body platform went until 1996. And after seeing a 1991 Caprice at the store, I knew what I should replace the Mercury with, a 1991-1996 GM B-body.
Luckily enough I was still able to find some B-body Caprices, Roadmasters, and even some Cadillacs that weren’t too expensive but still in decent shape. Despite older cars were getting harder to find in decent condition, I had a few decent looking ones on my list, but most of them had just under or over 200k miles on them, which was fine but I wanted one with the lowest miles possible. But one day while I was looking at Facebook marketplace, my mom chimed in with her idea, she said it would be nice to exchange her mom’s car with something that had more room, and then it occurred to me, I already had two sedans, so why not get a station wagon? I had never owned one but had always had a soft spot for them.
I was able to find a few wagons with higher mileage, but luckily I came across one that had only 135k miles on it. It was a white 1994 Roadmaster, it was dirty and slightly damaged, but it had the lowest mileage I had seen so far, and best of all it had the 5.7 LT1. In 1994 they went from throttle body injection to port fuel injection which increased the HP from 180 to 260, the only thing it lacked from the previous year was a full gauge package, but that would be a small price to pay when trading the Grand Marquis for a car that was bigger, had more power, was more comfortable, got better mileage, and had a more classic look to it.
I had kept in mind that the lowest mileage was best, though I had forgotten that low mileage doesn’t always mean well preserved or taken care of. As we soon found out. While the guy we talked to said that the car was in great condition and “pristine”, it turned out that it was not exactly either of those words. But they were very friendly and me and my mom were both desperate to find a car that was better to sit in so that we figured even if it was a little dirty it would be more good rather than bad. Especially after the 400 mile drive down to Oregon in late June just to go buy a car, but at least this time it was in better weather with more time to spare.
We hadn’t been through Oregon in a long time, so we figured it would be a new experience. And it very much was, the car was at a farm sitting in a muddy area under a tree locked away by a gate, but the owner had left to go to the store so his wife had to call him and let him know we were there. A short while later he returned and showed us the car. One thing for sure however was it was much more dirty than I thought; it was covered in cobwebs, stains, dirt, and grime inside and out. But on the test drive it preformed almost flawlessly, with everything working just fine, except the AC which probably just needs a recharge, I still haven’t done that yet because rolling the windows down works just fine anyway.
So yes, the car preformed good, but it was still gross inside. It turned out it had been sitting for 3 years because the owner couldn’t afford the payments on it, so he laid low for a while and the car just sat, and because of that he had only put around 3k miles on it, which is probably a good thing considering the way he drove it. But it turned out the car had other problems, one of the back windows had fallen off the regulator so it would sometimes slide down (and still does), the rear tailgate only opened one way rather than two since one of the mechanisms was broken, and there was a bit of lifter noise from the motor. Not big problems, but problems nonetheless.
Oh, and two of the tires had multiple nails in them, that was a little concerning. But he told us the nails hadn’t punctured all the way through yet so it wasn’t big deal and we would get home just fine. So the paperwork was exchanged and we did a straight across trade, a 1998 Mercury Grand Marquis for a 1994 Buick Roadmaster Estate Wagon. After we left, my mom decided that we should stop in town for some ice cream and to try and wash some of the dirt and grime off the wagon. We located a car wash and did so, but we were unable to find the ice cream shop so we settled on the gas station ice cream instead since is was just so hot outside.
One quick side note, if any of you ever end up driving through Union, Oregon on a trip or something. I would recommend you stop and enjoy what the town has to offer; it’s hilariously redneck and fun to explore. While me and my mom were sitting in the car eating our ice cream we saw a manner of crazy things: a 7 year old was driving a full size tractor around, there was a full sized monster truck driving down main street, and at the family owned gas station there was an actual gas station attendant filling up a beautiful 1950 Chevy 3100 pickup that looked all original. Sorry to get offtrack but it was just so fun to explore an old style town like that and I think that other people that drive through it should enjoy it too.
So anyway, with a full tank of gas we started on the 400 mile trip back home, yes with tires that were old and had nails in them, and were sometimes pulling the car to the left. But I figured that it could wait, and we drove home in full comfort and happy with the trade we had made. Why I don’t see these B-body cars on the road more often is something I’ll never understand; these cars are comfortable, powerful, large, good looking, and get good mileage on top of it. We only used a half tank to go 400 miles; the car is no hybrid but it’s certainly not bad on gas, and it has a good turning radius for the size too, I honestly don’t understand why I don’t see these cars on a regular basis, they sold pretty well too.
Ah well, maybe some people just aren’t into big comfy American cruising, or they’ve just never had the chance to experience it, or maybe for some people 25 to 30 years old is too old for a daily driver. But seriously, anyone who hasn’t experienced the big comfy American sedan or even a wagon is missing out in my opinion. But luckily we got home that night without any issues, and it’s a good thing that we didn’t have to stop, because we came out the next morning to find the front left tire completely flat, as the nails had finally taken their toll. I guess the only thing that was keeping the tire inflated was the pressure build up from highway driving, I guess you could say the comfort of the seats saved us from having to stop.
Since I figured the other tire was going to go soon, I just had the car towed to Les Schwab and had all new tires put on, and again it improved the ride dramatically. No more pull, no more nails, just smooth Dynaride sailing. But the other thing it desperately needed was another bath and a deep cleaning of the interior, which I did myself, and I’m proud to say that finally hours of cleaning the coffee stains out of the carpet and the old taffy candy out of the center console, not to mention all the cobwebs and dead bugs, it turned out really good. And I liked the car so much, I started to use it as a secondary cruiser for going to car shows and meets.
I actually ended up taking it to many different shows and cruises over the summer; it was no superstar but it seemed well liked by the large majority of people, as people would sometimes would tell me stories of when they used to ride in the back of the family station wagon. However one thing that surprised me the most was at one show it actually won a 1st place trophy for the 1990s vehicle category, which was one of the last things I expected. Considering that there wasn’t much to compete with it made sense, nonetheless I’m still very proud of that 1st place trophy as that was the first time I had won anything from a show or a cruise, in an imperfect car no less.
Early on I had changed the oil and filled up all the fluids to make sure no unnecessary problems developed, other than the strange quirk of the transmission getting confused when going uphill at higher speeds. If you don’t push hard enough on the gas it can’t seem to decide either to stay in overdrive or downshift, so it stutters around until you either give it more or less pedal, but it’s not a big issue as long as you make a decision. Other than that most of the time things were just smoothly uneventful; 3k miles later and it’s been nothing but pleasant, and driving in the snow isn’t bad either. However on the ice you really feel the car’s weight, and all the torque can get you into trouble hilariously easy, but that’s all part of the fun.
Oh, and I got into a “follow the leader” chase in this car, I don’t know if that interests anyone but I think it’s a funny little segment. One night last November I went to hang out with some friends and help them with some car stuff, and one of them ended up completely wasted. Me and another friend tried to convince him to not try to drive home but he refused and tried to drive home anyway. So I was giving the task of following him to make sure he didn’t get himself killed, or if he did get into an accident to call an ambulance. He was driving his 1978 Chevy El Camino that was hot rodded and had no seat belts, plus the addition of his crazy driving, so I knew that if he did get get into an accident it wasn’t going to be pretty.
But somehow, despite running through stop signs and red lights, going twice the speed limit, and hitting the curb a few times he managed not get into an accident or even have a cop see him. And the wagon was more than capable of keeping up with him even through the corners, though I did my best to obey all traffic laws while doing so, other than the excessive speed to keep up with him. Some people just seem to get unnaturally lucky all the time, and he seems to have that type of luck; no matter how recklessly he drives he seems to always be in the right place at the right time, I wish I had that type of luck, though the question I ask myself sometimes is how much longer he will keep getting lucky when he drives that way.
Now we move up to the present. The car has been handling the winter weather just fine, other than the battery-killing temperatures we had in the inland northwest the last week, which will most likely kill most of my car batteries. It still needs some work as all my cars do, like on the tailgate mechanism, rear passenger window regulator, and I want to check all the fluids again when the weather gets better. Some trim pieces and the lower bumper guard could be replaced but it hasn’t been a main objective; if I ever find the pieces I will purchase them as I would like to have a complete car. But in short I love this car and so does my mom, and I hope to keep this car for many years to come.
Lastly I also want to wish all of you a Happy New Year. January is also my birthday month and I turn 20 this year which I’m not really happy about, so I guess I’ll just have to age like everyone else, but there are worse things I suppose. Anyway if you got to the end I appreciate you taking the time. One more major COAL left, and while it’s not the happiest one it’s a very influential and bizarre one. Please feel free to comment down below with pointers and any information about the wagon I maybe unaware of (Yes, I am aware of the water pump issues on the LT1, I hope to have it checked soon), or any way I could improve my writing style.
Congratulations on the car and your enthusiasm about cars in general. Your writing style is fine by me, it evokes your personality, and keeps your stories from being dry. At your tender age, however, and recalling the many bad decisions of misspent youth that by the grace of god many of us old timers are still around; I would like to offer some caution. I understand the excitement of making a deal on a new to you car, but a set of questionable tires and a 400 mile trip is a recipe for disaster. I’d much prefer you’re still around long after the days of youth. Secondly, I get it. I was young once as well, and something like what your El Camino friend did might be amusing in youth, guilty as charged. The truth is that a decision to drive like that is not made in a vacuum, and it was lucky not for him that he made it unscathed, but it was truly fortunate that no one else on the road was hit by him.
I’ve had three LT1 cars. Here are the links to my COALs on them. I’m hoping they’ll be helpful in terms of items that age and will need attention in these cars. Two major (potentially expensive) things to look out for:
1) Optispark distributor
2) 4L60e transmission
The windows falling off track is inevitable with these cars…most of mine had that problem
https://www.curbsideclassic.com/cars-of-a-lifetime/coal-1995-caprice-wagon-the-holy-grail/
https://www.curbsideclassic.com/cars-of-a-lifetime/coal-1995-chevrolet-caprice-corvette-power/
https://www.curbsideclassic.com/cars-of-a-lifetime/coal-1995-buick-roadmaster-and-1993-chevrolet-caprice-when-castles-fall/
These stories add to the magic of this place called the Northwest USA and make it all the more exotic to a guy from the suburbs of NYC. You’ve already experienced things behind the wheel that I haven’t, at your grandpa’s age yet. I am caught between nostalgia for those chances my young self took when Lady Luck was riding shotgun, and the thought of what might have happened if she had refused the ride.
That aside, it evokes warm memories of all those junkers we try on for size when we are young and “serial dating” MILDs (Momcars I’d Like to Drive) that are older than we are. My late father kept a list of the 96 cars he owned over his lifetime (more than one for every year), and you may be on your way…
BTW, that 3rd-4th gear hunting back and forth on hills may have to do with GM’s trying to up their corporate fuel mileage. Your Buick is the same era as my road car, an Olds “Eighty-Eight”, which is programmed to shift into over overdrive 4th as soon as it possibly can, which plays badly with the HP curve. In fact, the owner’s manual acknowledges this (more or less) by advising liberal use of the kickdown on hills. My mechanic suggested Ieave the car in third (1:1) around town, which helps, and any long upgrade on a highway is gonna want 3rd for the duration. It’s the price paid to be able to brag about mileage on the plains of Kansas.
Enjoy a long “journey” (as they never tire of saying) with lots of cars to talk about over the coming years. You already show a predilection towards a potentially wacky collection to reminisce about on CC for decades to come!
Cool cruiser! My good buddy had one of these with an LT1 in it and man that sucker would go. He was not afraid to flog it at every chance, either. 80mph in a 25 zone, why not? I believe it succumbed to good ole Iowa road salt rust recently, though.
Wow, that Toyota Stout back at the ranch is one rare bird!
I don’t think that’s a Stout; at least that 1975?-78 version of the Toyota truck wasn’t called a Stout in the US, unlike its predecessor. The Stout had much more prominent eyebrows over the headlights.
An early HiLux, 1969-1972, I believe. Stout was a little earlier. I would be shocked to find either in the wild.
I saw a Stout in town yesterday, albeit in a repair shop lot which may not count as in the wild. It looked straight and drivable though.
Ah, thanks guys – yes – first-gen Hilux, not a Stout!
I like wagons so I was drawn to this story to begin with. Your writing style is quite good and the fact that you took the time to write, and share, tells me that you could, and should, do more writing – even if it’s just for yourself.
A straight swap of an unknown car? Driving 400 miles with nails in the tire? Man, you and mom are more gutsy than I am – or ever was. Glad it has worked out well for you, I am more than a little jealous.
Regarding the incident with the El Camino. I cannot let this go and I imagine everyone reading the story will want to weigh in even if they don’t comment. Following him was not going to help him. I think you know that the best option, the only real option, was keeping him off the road. Was he lucky? Yes. Were you lucky? Yes. And although some people seem to be lucky like that, one unlucky incident has the ability to render all the lucky times irrelevant. Did I ever do things in my car during my 20s that, in hindsight, were reckless and foolish? Yes, and I regret them and wish I could take them back.
Kudos to the editor for allowing the article to be published in its entirety.
They still make full-size, V8-powered American cruisers. They just now come with a pickup bed attached to the rear. Kudos to you for sampling the genuine article, and not some modern, truck-based simulacrum.
Based on your brief COAL series, I’d say you have an interesting automotive future ahead of you. I’m sure your COAL series 20 or 30 years from now will have some interesting entries. I only hope we are all still around to read it!
Congrats on your purchase! I have owned 3 D body cars of that same era – a 1993 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham, a 96 FWB with the LT1, and currently a 94 FWB with an LT1.
The two LT1 powered cars needed water pumps and Optispark distributors right off the bat – I’ll also make a suggestion that when you have the distributor changed, also do the plugs and wires…that may also help your hesitation on hills.
If the sensors are original, change them out as well. My 94 sat for awhile, and I had to change out the MAF sensor, coolant temp sensor, EGR, in addition to what I mentioned above.
Enjoy the cloud on wheels! They are the perfect road trip car – the 94 has a rod knock, so I am waiting on a used engine to throw in – hopefully by summer it’ll be back on the road!
In 2011 I wanted a 94-97 Roadmaster wagon to replace my totaled Buick Regal but they were too expensive in Massachusetts where I live. The ones in good condition the owners wanted $5k+ for them saying “they have a corvette motor”. Yea for that much mass you need a corvette motor. Anyway I ended up getting a Grand Marquis instead and got 7 reliable years out of it. Anyway save that thing it’s a future collectors item!
You seem to suffer from a condition I used to suffer from (and still do, to an extent). When you seek out a car and it is not as represented or in worse shape than you were told over the phone, you put on the rose-colored glasses and refuse to just walk away and wait. I eventually learned that there is always something better out there, and some of my best car buying moments (which did not happen until I was in my late 30s, btw) came when I turned around and left with cash in my pocket after a seller refused my lowered offer after seeing the flaws in person. Each time I found something far better (for equal or less money) almost immediately after.
I will also confess to plenty of bone-headed driving adventures as a teen. Understand that they call them accidents because nobody thinks they are going to get into one on a particular day. You are lucky that your friend didn’t 1) badly injury or kill someone else and that 2) you didn’t buy your way into his trouble by chasing him at triple digit speeds. In that scenario, somebody needs to be the asshole who takes the guy’s keys.
I think there was the “I drove all this distance, now I have to buy the car” thinking that the COALer applied to the ’64 Chrysler, but the outcome seems to have been better, so far.
How do you imagine that would that have worked?
Also, other people exist. There was an extremely high likelihood of your friend killing or maiming some of them.
It wouldn’t have been an “accident”, it would have been the completely predictable result of driving drunk. And it would have happened right in front of you, which is something nobody should ever have to see.
It’s pointless to argue with someone drunk; you might as well argue with a toaster oven. Next time, take away his keys. Disable his car. Block him in. Call the police. Any or all of these might well lose you the friendship and save at least one life.
There’s just nothing funny about this.
I agree strongly. What if your friend T-boned another car while running one of those red lights with the odds that you are calling an ambulance for that poor injured or dead driver? On top of that your friend probably wouldn’t have been injured as it seems many times the drunk driver escapes that leaving the innocent on the side of the road. Yeah, not funny at all!
“Some people just seem to get unnaturally lucky all the time, and he seems to have that type of luck; no matter how recklessly he drives”
I had a good friend like that who had all the luck in the world … until he didn’t. Dead at 21 in his three month old Duster 340 when he lost control at high speed on a rural road and hit a tree. Fifty years later I still grieve.
So it’s not just me. Every time I read one of your posts I wonder if you’re putting us all on – the exploits of you, your Mom, and the snow.
I was a hellion as a teen and the driving age was fourteen, but I still had some respect for others on the road. It’s just a little unsettling this drinking and driving story is one you remember, and share, so fondly.
Never been to Union specifically, but I am a fan of those small towns in eastern Oregon and Washington. They are indeed like stepping back in time a few decades.
Great story, enjoyed reading it. But if I had come across a used car for sale and it was in the condition you said, I would have turned around and ran. However, it seems like you lucked out fairly well.
By the way, if you’re not happy about turning 20, how miserable would you be turning 75?!
Mine, too!
My experience was that 20 was better than 19. And hang on; 30 is a whole hell of a lot better than 29; a giant raftload of BS just cracks off and floats away. I was told this all through the second half of my 20s, by people in a position to know (i.e., older than 30), and I didn’t believe a word of it. Sounded like a bunch of nonsense to me; why would 30/29 be any different to 29/28? But it turned out to be absolutely true, almost like flicking a light switch. Surely your best years are ahead!
20 was decent for me, I suppose. I graduated college and bought my first car. The next 8 or so years weren’t all that great, but to echo Daniel- 30s are waaaaaaaaay better. 40s aren’t bad except now certain things that never hurt before are starting to.
You’re gonna get some some crap for your buddy’s adventures-and to be fair probably deservedly so-but chalk it up to a learning experience that you can grow out of. I did a bunch of stupid things in my 20s. At least you’re honest about it, and seem to take the constructive criticism well, which puts you ahead of the game.
Thanks for writing!
I could get a sun tan laying on that rear bumper. With towel of course.
Bravo for your enthusiasm and love of older American iron. At my age (a few decades older than you), I realize how much i don’t know. But youth, enthusiasm and a willingness to “just do it!” accounts for much. As the years march on, we learn that you win some and lose some. it sounds like you’ve been winning so far, so congratulations!
It is so amusing reading that some one felt bad about turning Twenty! There will be so many more traumatic transitions and challenging moments ahead. I suppose that Twenty could be seen as the cusp of young adulthood, the carefree years of childhood, high school, and finally (if you were lucky) college have come to an end. Now it’s on You, You have to put in the work, and have to take the responsibility for making Your own life a success. We all had to deal with this, and it’s actually the greatest opportunity of your lifetime, and it will result in the most rewarding times of your life. The successes and setbacks will be the story of Your life. Write a good story!
American car people are so weird. They won’t buy a Honda because it’s “underpowered” but they’ll buy an even slower car that’s also more expensive to maintain, is less reliable, costs a fortune in fuel, and manuevers like an oil tanker, all because it needs a bunch of power to drag its obese body to speed. I like Buick Roadmasters because I just love wagons in general. But the rationale behind that criticism of foreign cars is without any logic.
Great writeup and the best of luck with your car! About 8 years ago I bought a LT1 Roadmaster wagon just like yours for a 90 day, 13000 mile road trip through the US. No rhyme, no reason, just total freedom as the straight-piped V8 burbles in the background. It’s a great car for sleeping in and as you said, surprisingly good on fuel. Had no troubles with it at all, save for a starter inhibitor relay that didn’t recognize the key anymore in a Cincinnati downpour.
I miss that car dearly, sadly back home in Holland any kind of Roadmaster is a rare sight.
Nice writeup young man! All to often all this stuff is written by us oldsters. Writing style isn’t bad, not up for a Nobel in Literature yet, but entertaining and readable. Yeah you’ve got at least one irresponsible friend, as most of us did at your age. Or more than one speaking for myself. Do what you can to temper friends like that, but there’s only so much you can really do in spite of what the world may be telling you. However I do expect you to be wiser at 30 than at 20. And your friend if he makes it that long.
And kudos to you for having less than stereotypical tastes, something besides a Honda Civic with a fart can muffler or jacked up pickup truck. Two thumbs up even if your vehicle of choice wouldn’t be mine.