(first posted 5/13/2013) What is the source of American men’s latent and easily provoked disdain for the French (and their cars)? Umm, it doesn’t exactly take a study to prove what what we secretly suspect and obviously are a wee bit uncomfortable with: they’re having more sex than us. Yet they drive small, weird underpowered weenie-mobiles. Well, guys, it seems to be working for them.
It may be fun to wax eloquently over a ’75 Imperial, but I’ve got news for you: this Citroen 2CV Cabrio is going to get you a lot more action than the Le Baron. Just getting off a couple of shots of this PM Hoffman Cabrio without ogling girls getting in the way was a challenge for son Edward, who took these shots. Of course, that was in Portlandia. Guys, it’s time to stop living in the past, driving the old barge around with memories of what went on in that giant velour back seat decades ago. You have a house with a bed now, right? Put the old yank tank or Camaro up on blocks, and get on with it before it’s too late. Because this Citroen is the ultimate chick magnet.
Don’t believe me? Try driving a Hummer down a Parisian street and see what kind of response you get. Women want a guy who’s secure about his manhood, and what better way is there to display that than with a 600 cc, 26 hp 2CV? Especially so when it’s this sporty little two passenger conversion made by Hoffman. And there won’t be any lingering doubts about the back seat being used by kiddies. Hoffman also offers conversions to turn the little two-banger into a pickup or even a stretch limo, but that seems to be defeating the whole purpose of the exercise. Going the other direction makes more sense: eliminate the body altogether and one of the rear wheels and turn it into a cool little Morganesque three-wheeler. I’ll take one of those in a heartbeat.
The problem with American men is that they tend to equate a sexy car with the real thing. I know there are some men out there that actually have broken through that barrier (NSFW alert), and for them it really is the real thing, but I’m not speaking to that audience here. Anyway, the 2CV’s tailpipe may be too small even for the stereotypical Hummer driver. I’m talking about the more conventional relationship, the one in which the word “cargasmic” tends to be overused. Ok, nothing wrong with that, as long as it doesn’t actually get in the way of the real thing. Which it might, depending on your target demographic and IQ range. I’ve actually heard guys swear that there’s nothing better than an EV, even a Zap Xebra, to break the ice in the right locations. Not painted yellow, either.
If you’ve ever watched The Misfits, you’ll know that Marlyn’s last role personified the sensitive, environmentally-aware feminine future, and Gable as the dying bronco/environment busting cowboy myth. Guys, you wanna be lonely cowboys in your pickup, and maybe find a little cuddle up on Brokeback Mountain, or are you going to bravely plunge into the future in your EV Conversion Hoffman Cabrio? The girls want to know, before they get tired of waiting and find something better to do.
Chick magnet? Maybe. But…what kind of chick?
Hirsute, natually scented?
You’re looking at things backwards. Those frenchmen have to have a lot of sex to compensate for their terrible cars.
“Going the other direction makes more sense: eliminate the body altogether and one of the rear wheels and turn it into a cool little Morganesque three-wheeler.”
That sounds a LOT like the Lomax car.
French chicks don’t use deodorant and many don’t shave. But that might be TMI for this post… With that said, yeah maybe sometimes you could get easy lovin’ with a car like this like taking a cute dog to the dog park. But I know when my lady accepts me and my dog in my Brougham its really love.
This might fly with the cheese-eating, surrender monkeys, but I once knew a guy who drove a Geo Metro convertible and don’t recall that vehicle helping him get laid much.
In the states, women don’t view men who drive these types of cars as secure in their manhood. They see either a guy who can’t afford something bigger/more expensive, or a cheap-ass who won’t spend it. Either way, they’re not interested. Ask any guy who drives a smart cabriolet.
In fact, maybe there should be a CC on best car to own for getting laid. My vote goes to the E-type Jaguar.
You may be right in the broader middle America, but that car was in Portland, Oregon where you might be able to get away with it. Any territory that hugs the coasts anywhere in the US is going to have peculiarities.
“I once knew a guy who drove a Geo Metro convertible and don’t recall that vehicle helping him get laid much”
I knew a guy, in the Navy in the Bay area, with a Metro – he got a LOT of notice. Maybe because he was a little guy…the girls he found liked his self-confidence, that he didn’t need a compensation-car. But it all depends on what TYPE you’re looking for.
If you want a trophy, you need to advertise money. If you want a high-school senior, you need a car that appeals to that demographic.
If you want the French girls…get a French-girl car.
I agree 100% with Paul. It worked for me guys… Face it! Big cars are not attractive anymore!
+1
++1
Depends on the big car. I don’t know why it is, but people don’t seem to perceive the Challenger as aggressively as they do the Mustang and Camaro. I get almost universally positive comments from the female sex, except for the hardcore environmentalists who wouldn’t approve of the sporty smaller cars I usually prefer, either.
There is something friendly looking about the Challenger – especially in Hemi Orange – that appeals to people. I think with the black R/T stripes and the silly bright color that it perfectly captures that Mopar spirit of not taking anything too seriously.
On the other hand, they seem to also like my little Mazda B2600i. Probably because they can get in it without a stepladder. I like that, too, since I’m only 5’4″.
I must be unusual in that I’ve never been attracted to a guy because of his car.There was a beautiful blue Jensen Interceptor but it was driven by a fat balding guy with bad teeth,I was more attracted to the William Petersen look a like who drove a white Toyota Camry
Remember the rule “the bigger the car, the smaller the €@€£.”
By that logic, I ought to go get a Smartfortwo and let my buddy hang out in the passenger seat…
Smile when you say that. young Mann.
I overheard it from MikePDX in the past as “The Rule Of Compensation”.
Is the little Cabriolet a relatively new car? I recall a similar vehicle being road tested by Uncle Tom McCahill back in the mid 1960’s. Uncle Tom’s review was hilarious, probably the funniest review I ever read.
Anyhow, I’m the ultimate test for ” babe magnets.” If I like a car, it has positively no chick appeal, none, nada, zilch. I like the little Citroen. Nuff said.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoffmann_2CV
Not sure when the first production kits came out, but according to this the prototypes were first produced in 1988.
What a cute car!
Here’s a cute CV I picked up in a department store in Paris in 1987. I forgot I had it until reading this piece. It’s a plastic toy by Joustra. Don’t know anything else about it.
One more try to post the pic…
Not sure I agree on this one.
I’d go for the general premise if it was a stock 2CV. The original had hints of rustic farm vehicle and pickup truck with a soupçon of manure – and looked like it might take a real man just to get it into gear.
To me the cabrio looks more like a chick-mobile than a chick-magnet 🙁
PS – with that outfit I would have expected the SUV-lover to be facing the other way. There goes the PG rating for this site.
I’m just glad he let it cool off first!
On another note, I thought I’d share the news that banner ads for the New Democratic Party (i.e. watered-down democratic socialists) are appearing on the CC website here in British Columbia. The provincial election is tomorrow.
All the polls suggest that the ‘Soviet hordes’ will romp to power for the first time in 12 years, with insane promises to improve the health care system and spend more on job training.
They haven’t announced plans for a government subsidized re-introduction of the 2CV yet, but personally I’m going to start writing letters.
In the meantime there may be a few political refugees heading south tomorrow (you know who you are :).)
As you probably know, we have no control over what google decides that might be of interest to any given reader.
That would be interesting to find out what the banner ads are on each persons computer. Mine are either ads for the new Dart or cheap import scooters.
I get a lot for Asian brides and diamond-shaped pills. Both at unbeatable prices!
Are these related to the early VW coach built two seat convertible? The name of the builder escapes me.
Regardless it is a terribly cute car. Driving it in a place like Portland or any other young hip area, you would most assuredly be knee-deep in young hip girls.
Hebemuler?
Depends on the guy, the girl, and the environment. I can see this being a chick magnet in Eugene or Berkeley or Madison, among certain grad-student types. (Agree on the stock 2CV though.)
Hey now, when some women order a “large Italian,” I’m etc etc. Maybe it’s the size of boat AND motion of ocean?
Really I’d love a Deux Chevaux, to go bomb around the fields avec vin et baguette et fromage, making sure all was well in long-travel comfort.
Back in the day, if you were an Italian-American (and proud of it) and were located in an urban area (usually east coast) you drove either a Cadillac or a Buick. Vic Potamkin had a lock on the guido clientele in the NYC and Philly metro areas.
He was largely responsible for discovering popular Italian tenor Sergio Franchi bringing him to the US and booking him in Vegas where he was picked up by RCA and went onto a popular singing career that including many stints for auto commercials like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnWHQCgByWg
At one point, Potamkin was the #1 Cadillac dealer and his wife Luba appeared in a lot of commercials becoming known as “the Cadillac lady.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPxCzAdDlw8 go to 9:04 to see the Potamkin ad.
Every wise guy that was made was “made” by blood, a new suit, and a Cadillac from Potamkin.
http://www.cadillacpedia.org/why-cadillac-makes-the-best-mob-cars
To be fair, maybe a few Imperial in there but you know what I mean…
These guys were Imperial boys.
Yeah, that didn’t end well. 🙂 Wish I could have snatched that passenger-side mirror before it got perforated.
Hey, being of Italian decent and from Philly, I resemble that remark 🙂
You are right though. Potemkin sold Toyotas and VW ‘s in my area also. I don’t think any of those dealers are still around though. Defintley a name I haven’t heard in a while.
I would like to have a really large car really tiny car combo too, like a 73 Fleetwood Brougham and a Honda 600 Coupe.
What can I say….the Vette, gets ’em wet….
Because the window regulator is stripped……and its raining…..
+1
Snap-On lost 7% market share in two years immediately following the discontinuation of their calendar.
This car looks as though it was just driven from the pages of The Adventures of Tintin, and into the real world…
So if I’m reading this right, to go out and attract my target audience all I need to do is buy a pickup? 😀
If only.
Surely (leaving aside the mercenary types who’ll view your car as an indication of how much money you have) any car that’s a bit different or interesting is what’s likely to get a potential mate’s attention? – always assuming that she/he notices cars at all (which it’s easy to forget, but the vast majority of humanity doesn’t really).
Sad but true, the majority of the world (“chicks” included) probably couldn’t tell you the colour of your car. Even if they could, most are otherwise unlikely to have really noticed it, or care what it is. If however, whatever you’re driving makes you feel good about yourself, chances are that will translate into bearing/behaviour that members of your preferred gender will notice and respond to.
Assuming the french really are getting more than the americans, perhaps it’s less to do with what they drive and more to do with how they feel about it?
Gaghhh – even here there’s no escape from broughamminess!
When I first got laid, I was driving a 1957 Chevy Bel Air 2 dr sedan with a Blue Flame six and a PowerGlide. I thought that driving a car like this would be a major buzz kill but apparently it was an aphrodisiac. My next car was a 1960 Plymouth Fury, a hideous thing, but again, a great shaggin wagon. My dad’s Citroen DS 19, with the seats that became beds with the flick of a switch, was also a big hit with the libidinously inclined.
If you have to rely upon your transportation to attract women, you will attract women who are just as shallow as you are. When I met my future wife I was driving a Fiat 128, not generally seen as a chick magnet in the early ’70s or any other time. We are still married after 38 years. She drives a Subaru and so do I. Can life suck any more than that?
Or how about this instead: We stop letting the chicks set the agenda for every damn thing under the sun, and start acting like men again?
As for the, er, contraption in question — I’m not convinced something with 600cc and 26hp really rises to the level of “car” — it seems to me less like a legitimate, DMV-licensed passenger-vehicle than a high-school science project gone right. The cuteness meters are reading OVERLOAD.
OK, I can see how it might be a chick-magnet for a certain type of chick; and in certain places (yes, like Portlandia). Unfortunately, those gals are more likely to shave their head than their armpits. So I’ll stick with my moronic macho-mobiles, thanks just the same.
“Or how about this instead: We stop letting the chicks set the agenda for every damn thing under the sun, and start acting like men again?”
Uffda.
I’ve seen that Hoffman 2CV in the neighborhood, no chance for proper pix. Glad you caught it!
Sure, an electrified 2CV is easy to do. So silent you can sneak right up close. Mika Salo’s done a nice one he calls the “ePeli”.
Here’s “ePeli” with all his clothes on. Irresistible.
If my insight is correct, are you saying that a Dodge/Plymouth Neon would also be a chick magnet, right?
Normally, the car is the conduit to the man for a girl…
A Neon, given the demographics, the man becomes the conduit to the car…
The Cabriolet version is so ugly (especially the fabric top side view) that it makes a regular 2CV look good!
hmmmm. Ok, I’m going to take the wife’s Mazda 2 out cruzin tomorrow night. Will let you know how that works out for me. 🙂
Bof, we are Franch! We doo nawt ‘ave to care what ze Amairreecains weel seenk aboot owair Ceetroëns! Now we weel seet awownd wearaing owair berets, dreenkaing owair waahn, eating owair snails, smucking owair ceegarettes (pair’ops seex or sevvan at a taahm), and shrooging owair shooldairs een a deesaffected mannair!
Daniel,
The is the most accurate way to write a French accent I’ve ever seen!
Very funny.
»bows, doffs cap«
I would say a NA Miata would be more of a chick magnet than the 2CV, but that’s just like my opinion, man. Not that any car has ever helped me _get_ a chick, that’s always been up to me 🙂
I met Mr Hoffman. He fixed my Citroen XM when I lived in Cologne. He was very good at his job but the bills were enormous.
Nah, my toy poodles are the best chick magnets. They all stop to pat them on their heads.