(first posted 8/16/2017) Don’t let the headline fool you. The “Porsche” in this case doesn’t come from Stuttgart, but rather the bayous of South Louisiana. But this post will cover one of the best sports cars to ever be imported to the U.S. from Japan (plus a comparison test with a real Porsche thrown in for good measure), along with sex, money and a soupçon of scandal. So buckle your seatbelts and get ready for a ride.
Actually, J P Cavanaugh is responsible for this. His recent post on this 1979 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme Brougham, along with the commentary on “adulting,” got me thinking about my second cousin Steven. In 1979, when Steven was in his late twenties, he had landed a good job as a hospital administrator and decided the time was right to get a more “grown-up” car as befitting a successful young executive. Steven’s Silver Supreme slick top sported Super Stock wheels, black pinstripes, body-colored mirrors and the corduroy-upholstered “loose pillow” Brougham seating in black. It was a good looking car and still an on-trend choice for an upwardly mobile professional at the time.
The 1980s proved to be a decade of enormous transitions, both for Steven personally and for the American car market. Steven got married in 1981, bought a house, and continued building his career. When the time came for a new car, Oldsmobile was no longer a fashionable choice for an image-conscious yuppie, but Honda was. Like so many Americans at the time, Steven traded in his domestic for an Accord, getting a very nice LXi sedan. It was one of the “just right” cars of the 1980s: handy size, abundant amenities, strong value, superior quality, refined performance and impressive efficiency. A safe, smart choice for a safe, smart buyer.
However, despite the pitch-perfect 1980s trappings of success, all was not rosy for my cousin. Sadly, while his career flourished his marriage crumbled, and by 1989 it was over. There were no kids involved, which made it easier, but Steven’s ex got the house and he moved to an apartment.
And then he got seduced by a Porsche. Or to be more exact, a Portia. Which is pronounced “Por” “Shuh” just like the car. And in this case, she was a vixen who set her sights on Steven as she sought to improve her lifestyle.
Portia looked an awful lot like the character Susan Atwell (played by actress Sean Young), the ill-fated mistress in the movie No Way Out.
By way of temperament and taste, Portia was reminiscent of Alexis Carrington Colby, as played by Joan Collins in the TV series Dynasty.
Portia was quite successful sinking her impeccably manicured talons into the newly-single Steven, and word of her exploits raced through my family like a wildfire tearing up a tinder-dry California hillside. She quickly convinced Steven to buy a new condo for them at Beau Chêne, the upscale country club development in Mandeville, Louisiana across Lake Ponchartrain from New Orleans.
Steven’s parents, my Pop’s cousin Bob and his wife CeCe, were pretty taken aback by the speed, intensity and price tag of their son’s new relationship. When they pressed Steven on the wisdom of so thoroughly indulging the fine tastes of his brand new live-in lover, his only reply was “well, you see, Portia likes luxury.” That priceless phonetic line, “Porsche likes luxury,” became family shorthand for Steven’s arriviste girlfriend.
On the automotive front, as you might imagine, an Accord wasn’t going to cut it for Portia. But the fashionista femme fatale didn’t want an actual Porsche—there was something even trendier to be had. While we think of the premium German “establishment” brands as virtually untouchable in snob appeal today, they were actually under pressure as the 1990s began, when an onslaught of top-tier Japanese products was challenging assumptions about which companies made the best sports and luxury cars.
For the 1990 model year, the totally redesigned Nissan 300ZX looked to shed all traces of its “lounge lizard sportster” image by unleashing one of the most advanced sports cars in the world. Even Eurocentric Road & Track was impressed, bestowing glowing praise on a preview test drive in the March 1989 issue.
Turns out, Road & Track overstated the responsiveness of Nissan’s management in making changes based on feedback, like cleaning up the looks by dropping the brand emblem from the nose of the 300ZX. That move turned out to be merely a one-year wonder: Nissan’s “hamburger” logo was right back on the front of the 1991 models.
R&T’s report made it clear that Nissan had carefully considered every detail of the suspension for the 300ZX, either fashioning new components or carefully repurposing existing ones to create the best possible handling and control for the brand’s top sports car. Equal attention was paid to the brakes and steering, ensuring world class responsiveness for both.
Likewise, in typically methodical Japanese fashion, the best examples of technology, whether that was variable valve timing or 5-speed manual transmission feel, were studied carefully and deployed effectively to produce a state-of-the-art masterpiece. Even though their first impressions were based only on exposure to the cars at Nissan’s Tochigi test track, Road & Track was very impressed with the total package, and went so far as to proclaim the new 300ZX—even in its base configuration—as one of the best sports cars in the world. R&T also hinted at more good stuff to come from Nissan, in the form of a revamped 300ZX Turbo.
A full road test of the blown Z would appear in the December 1989 issue of Road & Track, and the consensus was that the “best” just got better.
The Turbo model simply enhanced the already excellent platform with high performance upgrades. Key additions included Nissan’s super HICAS (High-Capacity Actively Controlled Suspension) with a version of 4-wheel steering and of course twin turbos with twin intercoolers, bringing the total horsepower up to 300 (for the manual transmission). Power delivery was noted for being remarkably smooth and undramatic for a turbo; likewise, the suspension enhancements placed the car as one of the best handlers in the world.
While the performance of the new Z was superlative, especially in Turbo guise, the car’s looks were just as big a part of the appeal.
Without a doubt, a key attribute of the 1990 300ZX was its styling inside and out—the sports car was striking, trend setting and original—all considered unusual for Japanese makers, whose styling studios were most typically known for serving up derivative designs. Former automotive stylist and design expert Robert Cumberford, writing for Automobile Magazine, bestowed the “Design of the Year” award on the new Nissan.
Even when compared to a Porsche (the real one from Germany, not the bayou babe with the unusual name), the Nissan proved its mettle, as the editors at Automobile Magazine would attest in the November 1989 issue.
Rather comically, the Porsche 944 Turbo was no longer offered in the U.S. market when the article appeared. Sales were low and Porsche was looking to rationalize the model line-up, all indicative of a car nearing the end of its run. And that was the core of the contrast: the Porsche was a classic—old-school German capability, refined and improved over time, while the Nissan boasted the latest and greatest in styling, features and technology. For everyday livability, the Nissan was the winner, with a remarkably compliant ride (for a sports car) and easy, responsive handling. In terms of value, there was no question that the 300ZX provided a lot more bang for the buck. The Porsche, with an as-tested sticker of $48,392 ($92,980 adjusted), cost a shocking 47% more than the 300ZX Turbo. That was quite a lot extra to pay for Porsche pedigree….
So given all the great buzz surrounding the 1990 300ZX, who could blame Portia, and Steven, for wanting one. This iconic TV commercial captured the magnetism of the car, and was doubly appropriate given the specifics of Steven and Portia’s relationship.
Ironically, this ad didn’t debut until 1996, when the 300ZX was exiting the U.S. market (that’s another story in itself). However, with the unforgettable strains of Van Halen’s “You Really Got Me” as a soundtrack, along with a very creative storyline, the ad was very effective, albeit too late, in capturing the zeitgeist of the Z.
Back in 1990, Steven’s pick (Portia’s pick) was a Diamond Black Pearl 300ZX Turbo. The base price was $33,000 ($63,406 adjusted), representing a stunning $8,301 ($15,950 adjusted) price increase over the outgoing 1989 Nissan 300ZX Turbo. Steven’s car came equipped with the charcoal leather interior for $1,000 ($1,921 adjusted) and the Electronic Equipment Package for $900 ($1,729 adjusted). Also, since Steven’s “Porsche” didn’t do manual anything, his car had the optional automatic for $800 ($1,537 adjusted). The grand total would have been $35,700 ($68,593 adjusted), which was a princely sum for a Nissan (and would ultimately prove to be a problematic for the car’s success in the U.S. market).
But damn, what an amazing car it was, and I got to experience the 300ZX Turbo, and “Porsche,” all on the same day. There was but one time I ever met Portia, which was at a family reunion crawfish boil in June of 1990. It was quite the event–most of my family members (including my then girlfriend now wife Kim) are most likely to remember Steven and Portia’s public displays of affection, which bordered on softcore porn. For me, however, the biggest and best memory was Steven’s newly purchased black 300ZX Turbo.
Steven was very proud to show off his Z, and I loved it too. We weren’t alone either: for the 1990 model year, Nissan sold a whopping 39,104 300ZXs, of which 19,199 were normally aspirated 2-seaters, 13,009 were 2+2s and 6,896 were Turbos. The grand total of Z sales was more than the combined sales of all Porsche models (9,139), Toyota Supra (6,419) and Mazda RX-7 (9,743). The 1990 300ZX also handily outsold all BMW 3 Series models (22,285). The Nissan even outsold America’s perennial sports car favorite, the Chevrolet Corvette (23,646). The car was a huge hit, and for good reason.
Steven always knew what a car nut I was, and he was kind enough to let me get behind the wheel of his brand new 300ZX Turbo. It was an unforgettable experience. Without a doubt, it was the best car I’d ever driven at that point in my life, and I was blown away by the speed, responsiveness (even with the automatic), sharp handling, great engine sounds, awesome stereo, comfortable interior and surprisingly compliant ride.
Steven and I actually went out for a very long jaunt all the way to I-55 and through the Louisiana swamps, so I could really open the car up. We had a blast—and Steven even seemed quite content to be away from Portia for a good long while.
Perhaps it was an omen….
One thing about miners is that they are perpetually seeking the Mother Lode, and that holds especially true of those who dig for gold. And while hospital administrators make plenty of money, neurosurgeons make more. By virtue of being Steven’s girlfriend and attending hospital functions, Portia managed to meet The Good Doctor. Though he was married at the time, Portia was as effective at extracting unwanted objects with her scalpel as he was with his.
Remember, “Portia likes luxury,” so it was only logical for her to trade-in the condo in “far away” Beau Chêne for a manse in the Garden District. Plus, the Good Doctor was more Mercedes 600 SL than Nissan 300ZX, and that undoubtedly was more Portia’s speed as the 1990s progressed. So Steven, the fancy condo and his Japanese stallion were left behind as Portia’s fickle tastes moved on and The Good Doctor left his Good Wife for the Atchafalaya Temptress.
Likewise, affluent American buyers quickly turned their back on the high-end Japanese sports cars as the 1990s got underway. Part of the challenge was pricing—the high tech sports cars that emerged from Japan for the 1990s had become too expensive for their natural market segment in the U.S., and sales suffered as a result. Some of the price increase was driven by the strengthening Yen, but high production costs for the super sophisticated products was also a factor. Plus, as the decade progressed, the German brands responded to the Japanese incursions into the luxury/sports market with new products and new pricing strategies that offered better value while emphasizing their traditional brand heritage. With these moves, Porsche was able to claw their way back ahead of all the top-tier Japanese sports car interlopers in sales, starting in 1994.
So we’ve touched on the fate of car makers from the U.S., Europe and Japan as they sought to appeal to upwardly mobile U.S. buyers through the decades. But what about Steven, post Portia? Well I am happy to report that he wound up just fine. I dare say he was relieved that the “rebound relationship” fell apart, and he returned to being the pragmatic type that he really always was at heart. He met and married Lisa (what a boring name after Portia, but then again, what isn’t?), and they remain together today. He’s retired now and drives an Audi Q5, while Lisa has a Lexus RX. Both vehicles are exactly the sort of nice, fashionable, appropriately upscale, slightly bland SUVs that resonate with the affluent conservative crowd exactly the way that Oldsmobile did back in 1979.
I don’t know whatever happened to Portia after she landed the neurosurgeon. However, just think of how the “ultra ultra luxury” automotive market has boomed since the early aughts, with the likes of Aston Martin, Maserati and Bentley replacing the “mere” Mercedes as the “best you can buy.” Now, under these circumstances I can’t imagine poor Portia having to slum it in a German Taxi any longer, so either The Good Doctor has given her something appropriate like a Bentley Bentagya, or she found someone like an oil baron or trust funder who would.
And the 300ZX Turbo? Well, it still remains at the top of my list of “someday” cars that I want to own. I don’t know if it will ever be a true collectible, but it certainly was a great product from a brief period when Japan was really showing the rest of the automotive world how it was done.
GN, it’s been showing for a while but you’re really spreading your wings with these review-based pieces. That was such an absorbing story; I love it when every narrative turn is a blind one.
‘No Way Out’, like the 300ZX’s shape, is one of the great understated classics of its time.
I second that. The Nissan was a very distant second to, and nowhere nearly as engaging as, the Portia story line.
+2! GN, I couldn’t stop reading – another fantastic entry. So glad your cousin didn’t end up with Portia.
As for this generation of Z? Still looks fresh, modern and beautiful to me, today.
+3, your best yet! I applaud you – there is no way I could stretch a 79 Cutlass into a Nissan Z. 🙂
+4. Fantastic read.
Great story. I certainly agree – this generation 300ZX was the complete package – styling, performance, sophistication – and it still looks great today. A definite classic.
Many a man has given in to the wiles of a creature like Portia, and most ultimately consider themselves fortunate to be extricated from their tangled webs.
By 1990 I’d lost interest in cars like the ZX, having owned earlier versions of similar cars in the late 80’s and had friends who did as well. The period from ’83-’90 begat quite a few wannabe Super Cars from far flung corners of the globe, with their pop-up headlights, sleek low slung bodies and amenity-rich interiors. Having been licensed for the first time in ’84 I lusted after all of them, and eventually had some exposure to most. Even though the ’90 ZX was seductive, I just never caught the fever for it, and most of my friends who’d previously owned earlier ZX’s, Starions, Supras, Talon TSi’s and even a couple 944’s had started moving on to more practical cars as we all settled into our 20’s, so these were off my radar. I’d love to play with one for a day now though.
Nissan in the 1990s is, in my opinion, the high water mark for cars. And compared to Nissan in 2017 it couldn’t be farther away ideologically.
Agreed. I’d add that the late 80’s and early 90’s were really the golden age for all of the Japanese marques. Nissan seemed to lose the plot right around the time the 2nd gen Altima came along and the Sentra became a jellybean. Honda dropped the CRX and the Prelude shortly after, and Toyota relegated the Corolla to a sedan only and turned the Celica into a decontented uninspired econo-hatchback. Mitsubishi, after keeping the fires burning with the 3000GT and Eclipse Spyder basically became Hyundai’s biggest competitor before completely falling into irrelevancy. There’s really not a whole lot of spark coming out of Japan anymore. The quality is still there, at least for Toyota and Honda, but losing the halo cars seems to have left the designers with little inspiration. It may just be my view, but I don’t see a whole lot of excitement around anything coming from Japan lately, other than the BRZ/Scion Whateverit’scalled.
The mid-late 80s and 1990s were to Japanese automakers as the mid-late 50s and 1960s were to American automakers. Right now…the Koreans are getting close but not just yet. But keep an eye on them.
I never, ever cared for the styling of these. Give me its underpinnings in a ’71 240Z. And the pricing of these was insane. Japanese cars are supposed to be cheap. Don’t know who shot themselves in the foot more times and recovered, aside from Chrysler….
I’m more or less with you. Its hard to dislike these cars, but on styling, its the blandest of all the Zs. Others have their faults but these I found to have the least curb appeal. The drivetrain was one of the best however, and that’s coming from someone who hates V6’s yet loves I-6’s. The 350Z got the styling spot on the first time. A truly modern interpretation of the original 240Z. Id have preferred an I-6 or even a 4 banger (with available turbo both ways) but the real shame is that they only ever did a N/A V6. With the 370Z, the look of it just lost the plot, and sales have reflected that. The fact that the Z is literally the ONLY interesting Nissan that regular people can afford being allowed to wither and die on the vine, with the Skyline getting similar treatment really shows where Nissans priorities lie.
Wow! What a great piece. And yes I was mesmorized by the Steven/Portia story. But the review part was so very thorough. Great piece.
It is funny how a car can trigger an association. For me, one of these is forever associated with an office secretary and her husband that I knew back then. They had owned a couple of Oldsmobiles and in what must have been a midlife crisis, the husband bought one of these in bright yellow.
That was about the point at which their life fell apart in ways involving a divorce, a repo and a bankruptcy. Kind of like Portia of your story, the car proved too alluring to resist.
I have decided that there are “cars for people like me” and “cars for other people”. The 300ZX is most definitely of the latter category.
Excellent breakfast read. Thanks.
I was duly impressed by the new 300ZX, in every regard. The styling was surprisingly original and effective. The front end is a bit generic, but I still like seeing its roof and how well it integrates into the rear end.
Great writeup…..the 300zx from 1990 to 1996 is definitely a classic, in the making. I have had four of these cars….quite beautiful and very much ahead of its time. My styling was nearly perfect, and rendered all other “affordable” sports cars obsolete. Take a look at a 1990 944 (see above), Supra, Vette, Mustang, Camaro, Lotus, hell, even Ferrari. I rest my case….
It’s true; the early 1990s were a significant period for Japanese sports cars. I remember Car magazine’s March 1989 issue carried the cover story “Japan shows Europe how to build Sports Cars”, which highlighted this Nissan 300ZX, the Miata and the NSX.
It would have been interesting to read your cousin’s road test review of Portia. Or perhaps he could have made an entry in the Gold Diggers of a Lifetime series 🙂 I enjoyed the Steven/Portia saga. And I miss Cajun food. Love mudbugs and Gumbo.
” I miss Cajun food. Love mudbugs and Gumbo.”
+1000. Portland is known to be a ‘foodie town’ with pretty much anything you want represented and usually pretty damn good. But what few entries we have in the Cajun department have been fair to middling at best. Part of that is because okra is nearly unknown here. But now I’m seriously craving a big pile of spicy crawdads!
What a captivating read. Thank you for brightening my day.
Amusingly, 300ZXs remind me of my own family tale. I had a cousin named Marcy who married a guy named Rick in the 1980s. Rick had made a lot of money doing — well, no one could quite figure out what… but it was probably shady. By now you might guess that Rick bought a 300ZX, though he had it only briefly before buying a Pathfinder instead. Rick gave the Z to his father, who loved showing it off and talking about how his son gave it to him.
Like Portia and Steven, Marcie and Rick are no longer together. And I’m sure the 300ZX is a distant memory for everyone. I wonder what proportion of ZXs wound up being bought under similarly odd circumstances? Probably rather high.
One of my most favorite commercials ever! (BTW-yes, my GI Joe was having a fling with my sister’s Barbie, too…)
The 1990 300ZX was a welcome break from the lounge lizard/Disco Danny previous 2 generations. I always liked the cleaned-up design of this generation of ‘Z’. It was a really clean design–no more Z-car Broughamification!
3500lbs w/o fluids and not a boulevard car? Ha!
That’s 200 pounds less than what the Mustang weighs now. I think we can stop calling the 71-73 models bloatstangs.
around 2005 i had a 1995 twin turbo. pearl white, leather, 5 speed. it was the exact car i had wanted since these came out. upgraded brakes, bigger intercoolers and a chip with higher boost. visually it was left alone except for some nice 17″ wheels. it was perfect and tons of fun.
unfortunately after a minor front end accident and a few door dings, all of which got repaired, i was too scared to take it out of the garage. not scared that i couldnt handle it. just worried that something would happen to damage it. it sat a lot and i ended up selling it, still in excellent condition.
now i find myself looking around for a nice example again. i only find bad body kits, abused cars, automatics, or non turbo. the few nice ones i do find are definitely priced accordingly.
Awesome article GN, keep up the great posts. As other’s have said, I too appreciate your these latest articles where you incorporate real life stories into your magazine reviews. As for the 300ZX, I always liked these cars, but when they were new I was too much of a die hard Corvette fan to give them the credit they deserved. I miss the days when sporty coupes were what people aspired to drove, instead of the modern CUV’s. It’s coincidental that in 1990 my cousin also bought a sporty car, one that I drooled all over too. In his case, not quite the status of the 300ZX, but an iconic car nevertheless. He ordered a bright red 1990 Mustang GT 5-speed new from the factory. Your story brought back many awesome memories of that Mustang, it was such a phenomenal performance car for its day.
There’s a chance that Portia is back in Nissans, and more plebian ones at that. At some point, her attractive features are available in newer models without quite so much mileage, lower maintenance cost, and the colorful Carfax report.
^^^^ This!!! ^^^^ 😉
I didn’t see this one the first time, and just wanted to comment that I enjoyed it this morning. Very well written! The subject (The Nissan Z) is also something that I have always admired and wanted ever since my I was a kid. One of my father’s friends would buy the newest version of the Z every couple of years starting with a 280z. Ironically, by the time this car was launched, he was into SUVs, so he never got to enjoy the best of the breed. You can imagine my dissapointment when he showed up with his latest new car, and it was the first in a line of Jeep Cherokees.
I loved this tale. Being a bit of an Alexis myself, I quickly began to insert the term arriviste into everyday conversation, along with parvenu.
GN, you should do this for money. You’re that good. What a great read.
Treated myself to a new 1990 ZX as a 40th birthday present. Even in automatic and 2+2 form (concessions to the wife), it was a fun car to drive. Had it for 11 years and 80K with no issues. Only repairs were brakes, a new exhaust system and A/C switch. Only real complaint was a weak stereo. Sold it for 7 grand to a local college student who drove it for another 10 years.
This is the car that started me on my lifelong love of the automobile. I just remember being young and seeing those pics of it, and instantly fell in love with it’s looks.
CC effect: Found this one today a few blocks from my house while riding my bike. From the looks of it, Portia took it out mudding in the bayou. Great piece. Feel a little bad for my breakfast shadenfreude.
All of the best of 17 picks are deserving, but this is definitely one that stuck in my mind from the last year. Great job GN.
My sis and BIL were in LA when the 300Z first appeared he got one as rental for his birthday they had a great time driving it around untill it was time to turn it in and back into the worst car he said he’d ever driven a Buick of some description.
I had a pearl white, saddle leather, t-topped, five speed, normally aspirated two seater, 1992 model when it was about ten years old. It also had stainless steel Magnaflow mufflers. It was fantastic car! Unlike the later 350Z these had there own suspension and chassis design not based upon the passenger cars and crossovers. The quality of the materials was very good inside. But they are densely packaged and somewhat expensive to service. Quite a bit of work for DIYers. Along with the Mitsubishi 3000 GT, the Mazda RX 7, Toyota Supra and even the Acura NSX these were the zenith of Japanese high performance GTs. Only the Z and Mitsu have lagged in increasing value since then. Maybe because there were more of these made. I would think that the Z will rebound in value as the majority of the thrashed examples fall by the wayside.
The 90-96 Nissan 300ZX Twin-Turbos were outdated, fat, and above all slow in a straight line. The 3,800+lb Mitsubishi 3000GT VR-4 easily wasted it from a dead stop and hung with it all the way to its faster top speed that didn’t have a limiter.
By 1994 the Z32 didn’t have a chance in hell against its competitors. The 93-96 Toyota Supra Twin Turbo trapped 107-109mph stock and blitzed the rest of the cars and made the NSX feel slow. 94-99 Mitsubishi 3000GT VR-4s lost a bunch of weight and gained 20+HP, more torque, and a more aggressive 6 speed manual transmission; MotorWeek tested the heaviest 320hp 1994 VR-4 and ran 0-60 in 4.9s and the 1/4m in 13.5@103mph, then in 1995 MotorTrend did a comparison with all of the 90s JDM big hitters and big surprise, acceleration wise the 300ZX TT couldn’t keep up; https://www.motortrend.com/reviews/virtual-velocity/
1/4m times:
Supra TT: 13.5@106.1mph
3000GT VR-4: 13.5@101.6mph
*300ZX TT: 13.9@102.0mph*
RX-7 TT: 14.1@99.1mph
The VR-4 in particular won every comparison test against the Z32 as far as straight line acceleration and went on to publish 0-60mph in 4.8s (MotorTrend 1997) and 13.4@102 (Popular Mechanics 1999) in the quarter, times a stock 300ZX TT can only dream of. Hell even Edmudns managed a 105mph trap speed when they tested a 99 VR-4.
I remember when all of these cars debuted. The Z was well balanced but very very meh in a straight line. Any 94+ Mitsubishi 3000GT VR-4 will leave a 300ZX TT for dead in a standing start race.
Didn’t CD Magazine call the 3000GT, A “trendy pretender” in some sportscar shootout?
Great article, nice to see it posted again. The 300ZX was a fabulous sports car with the latest technology and engineering that set it apart from others in the marketplace.
I attended a media event when the car was being introduced and we writers had plenty of videos, printed material and slides to learn all about the features of the new model. Decades later I’ve appraised a few up here in near showroom condition and still come away impressed with the overall design of the 300ZX.
One of the finest designs of its era – has aged very well and still looks crisp and tight (probably unlike Portia!).
One of my bucket list cars!
I guess I’m the only one: I love the Z31, never understood the animosity towards it, and think the Z32 is decidedly the ugliest Z of them all (though the Z33 gives it a run for its money). The Z32 may be more capable than the Z31 but I can’t stand to look at it. Am I *really* the only one?