Image: MAD
In the ensuing forty or more years since MAD published this send-up of scientifically classified irritating and ineffective drivers, I’d say that very little has changed. That is to say, THEY’RE ALL STILL OUT THERE. Watch Out!
Image: MAD
The year was 1992. My Toyota pickup was brand new; not even on my parents’ insurance yet; when “BAM!”, I encountered the signalus oblivious, right into my front quarter. D’oh!
Image: MAD
Want to see a circulus interminus? Just head down to the local Costco; they’ll be the ones stationary and obliviously idling ahead of you as they wait for someone to leave a spot within no more than 25 feet of the door – on a dry, 72-degree day. In truth, all the species described above are readily observable in nature.
About the only thing that’s changed is today you can add the distraction of electronics into the mix.
Plus maybe a higher sense of entitlement and road rage.
IPhonia mesmericus – seen throughout the land, these can be spotted by their side to side mating dance which occasionally ends with swapping feathers with a dull eyed plodder.
Gethehelloutta mywaynia – a subspecies of the Infernal Tailgater, they can be spotted by their distinctive Audi and BMW plumage.
Winnebagus Interminum – an evolution of the tortoise, these creatures embody the worst attributes of the Great Smoky Mammoth and the Dull Eyed Plodder, persisting in maintaining their slow pace even when no other wildlife are around. A remora-like parasite sometimes called a Toad will sometimes attach themselves to the Winnebagus. It’s purpose is unknown as they’ve never been seen to leave their host
Winnebagus Interminum – common name Road Virus?
Notice how the Getthehelloutta mywaynia is able to ajust to an increasing variety of habitats and surfaces all over the world (including places far, far away from its native network of Autobahns) without ever losing any of the qualities that make it so endearing.
The Faux Latin reminds me of the names they’d make up for the Road Runner and Wil E Coyote. Plymouth paid Warner Brothers $50,000 for the Road Runner logo – money well spent in my opinion.
If you want to see the rest of the Faux latin names and read some fascinating history about the cartoon, go to the link:
http://home.ku.edu.tr/ffisunoglu/public_html/roadrunner&coyote.htm
Around here we have the Infinitus Maximus, commonly known as the Infiniti QX60, which combines traits of the Perpetualis Behindus and Dementius Acceleratus.
Around here, we have its less expensive and smaller platform siblings, Nissanus Muranos (translation: drives his Nissan like a Moron), as well as the even smaller Insanitus Rogueus (translation: Rogue Rage CUV).
Like Infinitus Maximus, both of these lesser siblings exhibit the same traits as Perpetualis Behindus and Dementius Acceleratus, as well as Lanechangis A.D.H.D.us.
CC Effect: I saw 3 of the former and 2 of the latter on this morning’s commute. Must be rutting season for them. ;o)
There’s another article somewhere here that states Maxima drivers are also complete loons. What is it about Nissan/Infinitis these days?
So why is the Keen-Eyed Fuzz still behind the billboard instead of chasing down that Light-Headed Veerer?
Dawdlus Australianius. Noted for the bright beige plumage. A sub species of Camryus Ditherus. Usually found when ever you are in a hurry.