Come on down to Rusty Trusty Motors, where we have plenty of good, solid transportation and popcorn for the kids. We’ve got cars for every price point and pocketbook down here at Rusty’s, and we’re even open late on Thursdays to serve the hard working American who deserves a good deal.
Just look at this 23-year-old Mercury Topaz LTS. It’s almost rust free, so your kids will have almost no chance of contracting tetanus when exiting the vehicle. Our award winning body shop has even cleaned up that back bumper a bit just to show we care. You’ll never get a bum steer at Rusty’s! We’ll even throw in an oil top off, no charge, if you buy today!
In trouble with the man? Well, John Q. Law need not know that you’re a moneybags with the upscale Mercury version of this classic automobile. It comes equipped with this off-color Tempo trunklid that lets Smokey know you’re one of us, not some high-roller who won’t drive a basic Ford. Rusty has your best interest in mind, so come on down to see one of our friendly salespeople.
Don’t let the outside fool you, folks. This sumptuous interior invites: you and four of your closest friends or family members can ride in elegant style. They don’t make ’em like this anymore; in 1991, engineers designed safety into a vehicle. It wasn’t just tacked on, like the thousand side curtain air bags on those new jobs out front. Safety comes naturally with motorized seatbelts that have no resemblance whatsoever to a guillotine.
Enjoy near Cadillac luxury, with power windows, an aftermarket CD player, and a three-speed automatic. Unlike newer premium cars that jolt their passengers with up to eight gearchanges, this Topaz will never upshift more than twice. That’s solid engineering from the days when automakers knew how to coddle a passenger. Additionally, this Topaz comes standard with optional air conditioning.*
*if you get it repaired after you buy the car
This well-maintained Topaz has plenty of life left in it–with a low, low 113,000 (or 213,000) miles, dozens of trouble-free miles await the happy new owner. Unlike many brand new base model compacts, this Topaz has the desirable cruise control option, so you can eat and drive without having to worry about maintaining your speed on the freeway! See that emblem on the wheel? That symbolizes reassurance, reassurance that only Mercury could design a car where the quality’s built in.
That quality extends to the motor, too. Most of America will never experience the joy of observing the Topaz’s sleekly styled front end, because this LTS is powered by an “HSO” 2.3 liter four-cylinder. “HSO” stands for “Higher-Specific Output.” Hold on to the kids, because this Topaz is pumping out two more horsepower than the base model, for an even hundred. Feel like John Wayne today! Heck, feel stronger and more virile, because the Duke usually rode on one horse, while you can sit behind 100! God bless America!
So come on down to Rusty Trusty motors, where you can have a slice of Americana and a piece of like-new American history for the totally logical price of $1497 plus tax, title, and licensing fees. We take clean trades, so push, pull, or drag your old clunker in to Rusty’s, and let us set you up with a transportation special you can be proud of.
I’ve never been a fan of front-wheel drive cars, and the Ford Tempo/Mercury Topaz cars are no exception. They’re good looking cars as Cars of the 80s go, but I’ve always preferred rear-wheel drive or all-wheel drive.
You’re in luck. AWD was available on the Tempo/Topaz.
And it was an unmitigated disaster. The issues with that poorly designed AWD system were legendary. The only AWD system that was worse was the Aerostar’s, which was so bad that Ford issued a lifetime warranty on the AWD components.
170k miles on my ’97 Aero 4.0l AWD with 5-spd automatic (the only year and engine combo Aero with a 5-spd auto). Zero problems with the AWD or transmission, and I tow heavy stuff with it. AMSOil fluids.
Around here, these days, the Aerostars one’s most likely to see are AWD; the RWD ones have largely been scrapped due to bad transmissions, neglect, and Cash-for-Clunkers.
I’ve owned five Aeros, and this one — my only AWD — has been the best. As ’97 was the last year of production, it’s probably also my last, as they’re all getting a bit too old for 55-miles-per-day commuting duty.
Too bad it wasn’t a V6 5-Speed. Or, given its condition, perhaps it’s for the better that this one wasn’t so equipped.
That thing is pretty close to not even being road legal in my province. Rusted through body panels are a no-no.
Majority of the States have no safety inspections. I think I’m abler in determining if a car is safe or not than some bureaucrat. Freedom!
While the bureaucrats set the rules it is the mechanic that has the license to steal that determines if your car is roadworthy or not.
Bureaucrats define what’s legal/not legal, i.e. how much rust is allowed. That’s to what I was referring. I wasn’t talking about a mechanic’s unsavory practices. No bureaucrat or mechanic tells me what I can or can’t drive. I choose to live in a Free state that doesn’t make my choices for me. A good reason you’ll see these particular states so successful!
My Mom had a 84 Topaz that was a rolling pos from the factory. Transmission that didn’t shift out of first unless a mechanic was riding with you, leaked oil from the first day, the mechanic at the service dept hated to see that white pos come back. Last time I seen it somebody painted it IROC blue and was setting at a different Mercury dealer. Didn’t feel sorry for it either.
My wife also had an 84 Topaz (and a 64 Marauder) when we met. Left us stranded 650 miles from home. It rode very solidly and I wanted to like it but it kept breaking. Not one of my favorite cars. It made was for a new Saturn SL. Big improvement.
My mother had an 84 topaz L. We had that thing for ever. We thought it was done when a car was stopped for a left turn and the front right brake flex broke when she smashed the brakes, we rearended an 85 tempo L doing more than 80km/h. The tempo was toast but our crappy topaz needed just the nose, lenses, headlights and of course a brake flex line. It lived well into the late 90’s when my uncle didn’t bother to check the oil and it quit on the highway. It was towed to my grandfathers place where he proceeded to put two liters of oil in and it started right up and ran albeit slightly rougher. My little brother got that thing but it was done within a week and WS towed off for scrap.
Good grief, kill it with fire, give it to Apple to make a few I-somethings, but get that thing outta here!
Awful thoughts of many business trips to Grand Rapids stuck in these things. Thanks for the memories, especially on a Monday morning.
Thanks a lot, AARON65.
My 1988 Topaz was the worst car I ever owned. Period. I drove it almost 300 000 km’s, right into the ground out of pure spite…
With the exception of those alloy wheels and monochromatic interior (which I think came in every Topaz), nothing about this car says “Limited Touring Sedan” to me. Gotta love trim names.
Well, it’s unarguably a sedan and when it comes to its dynamic virtues, “limited” is a polite way to put it, so the sticking point is really just “touring.”
One of the dullest cars made from a dull automotive decade!
4cyl / 5speed is the way to go on the Topaz.
That rear wheel arch is scary, not so much because of the arch but because the rear floor must be really rusty, that’s where ours rusted first.
Can’t see actually charging money for this, we gave our Topaz away when we were done with it to a family that needed a functional free car.
Maybe $14.97 would be an appropriate price. We liked our Topaz but certainly wouldn’t want another ten years later..
It’s too bad they never did a 5-speed/4WD version. That would’ve been sweet.
I was extremely unimpressed by every Tempo I drove, but they were all 4cyl/automatics. I can’t really think of a 4cyl/auto car built before the 90s that I didn’t hate.
Yeah a 5sp AWD/4WD would have been cool. Unfortunately the way they engineered it to work with as many of the existing components as possible precluded that. The transfer case replaces the pan on the AT. They take the output off of the ring gear and use a selective fit gasket to set the backlash. The only thing they had to change on the trans was to add a couple of holes for dowel pins to line it all up which they added to all of the ATs. This also meant that they could make the ring gear in the rear very small diameter since they didn’t need reduction back there. Note it wasn’t a 1 to 1 drive you want gear ratios that make for every tooth on the drive gear mates with every tooth on the driven gear for better wear characteristics and so you don’t get harmonics.
Are those actual aluminum rims? Topaz used PolyCast wheels didn’t they?
That would make a good technical article, the rise and fall of PolyCast wheels…
That would be interesting. I’d like to know more about the pros and cons because I’m not a fan of modern aluminum wheels. They look nice but are fragile and overly expensive.
There were some polycast wheels used on the Topaz but the ones on this vehicle are aluminum.
Last set of those I seen got sent to the scrapyard. I think they were off of a 70something Thunderbird. Urethane foam casted on a steel wheel to make it look like a aluminum one, God what an era to grow up in.
Anyone who has to drive something like this has a lot more troubles than just owning a Topaz.
All I can think of is that fabulous Cruise Control switch. Some genius at Ford decided that the cruise control circuit should be energized 24-7. When the little diaphragm in the switch eventually ruptures, there is a little short and a really dramatic fire. If this car got the recall fix, there is a fuse wired into the circuit under the hood. With a car like this, maybe it’s time to cut out the fuse, splice the wires back together and let nature take its course.
This is from the era before Ford started putting the brake switch for the cruise control in the master cylinder, on these it is part of the brake light switch.
Those seat belts are really scary. Maybe the amount of fray means they won’t cut into your neck so much, but they don’t inspire confidence that they will slow anything down in the event of a suddent stop.
Heh! You call that fray? That’s just getting worn in. I’ve ridden in a few late-80’s Chevrolets with string cheese belts.
Who needs seatbelts; when I learned to drive few cars had seatbelts. If you had a wreck you just bounced around the interior or got thrown out through the open door.
DOOOOOOOORRRRR!
I’m sorry, I’ve been on /frz/ for too long.
Clarification: 4chan is the combined armpit and sphincter of the Internet. Don’t ever go there. It’s bad enough that I go there. Anyway, 4chan is divided into different boards (both SFW and NSFW), all named by letter. /o/ is the Automotive board (since /a/ is taken by Anime and Manga, and the other two letters are NSFW), /tv/ is Television and Film, /ck/ is Cooking, /mu/ is Music, etc.
/co/ is Comics and Cartoons, and a series of threads (since a new thread must be created every 500 replies or so) has been running since November (currently at #636) for the Disney film Frozen. These threads are known as /frz/.
As with any General thread, new memes and in-jokes invariably pop up, and one of the more popular has been mocking the way Prince Hans sings the line “door” in “Love is an Open Door.” Hence the disruptive, “DOOOOOOOORRRRR!”
I’m pretty good at trolling 4/chan myself, and I cannot tell if David’s post is a spam/troll or not.
Joe – the ability to bounce around the interior during an accident actually led to fewer injuries since you could more softly absorb a harsh hit instead of being a sitting duck, contained by that seat belt.
A friend had a Tempo with the V6. He drove it to 300000 (three hundred thousand) miles. I couldn’t believe it. He said: “Yes they last if you keep repairing them”. His mechanic set him up with an old high mileage Subaru the last time he brought it in. “Let me show something in the back yard……”
This friend of mine has the right attitude about cars: who cares!
A ripoff at half the price!
Sadly, I walked through the lot yesterday (a week later), and it was gone! Maybe one of the lucky salesmen took it home for the weekend. 🙂
Hey ladies! I got a Topaz demo…..ooooooh, now its McRibs for everyone all around, the big spender is in town!
You only got the HO engine with its extra HP and fancy aluminum valve cover that states Ford performance if you got the 5sp or 4wd/AWD.
The Tempo GLS and Topaz LTS got the HSO motor. ’91 was the last year for it as it was replaced by the V6 on those models in ’92. Embarrassed as I am to admit it, back in ’92-’93 I was seriously considering either a new V6 Tempo or a 3.1-powered Pontiac Sunbird. Good thing I decided to hold on to my trusty old T-Bird for a few more years!
A girl I briefly dated in college had an ’88 Topaz XR5 (the coupe version of the LTS) with the HSO and a 5-speed. It was actually quite fun to toss around.
Sorry but no the HSO it was not tied to trim level at all.
Here’s a page from the 1990 Mercury “full-line” brochure. The LTS/XR5 Topaz and Tempo GLS were considered “sports” models (yeah, that one’s still funny after 20+ years) and got the HSO engine as standard. It was also included with the AWD option regardless of trim level.
This car SHOULD NOT be on the road. It is a danger to anyone driving it, and those who may crash into it. The dealer has one hell of a nerve trying to sell this thing instead of scrapping it for metal.
How would this be a danger to someone who crashed into it? I’m also not seeing anything that would put the occupants in any more danger than riding around in any other car of the era.
But the rust means it may not pass inspection somewhere! That can only mean it’s a death trap!
A good representation, I suppose, of the long-term effect overzealous regulation has on common sense.
Easy, friend. There is no need to be upset.
If there is a risk, I would say it would be from carbon monoxide leaking into the passenger compartment from rust holes in the underbody and/or exhaust.
My friend had a Tempo of similar vintage with those horrible motorized mouse belts. The one on the passenger side would either stick open, or closed, so sometimes I got to ride around feeling unbelted, and other times had to crawl under the thing to get in or out. Good times!
It would be in a scrapyard here theres absolutely no chance that would pass a WOF inspection worth maybe $100 tops.
Michigan is a strange place…we have absolutely no emissions or safety testing, but at least we have some of the most expensive auto insurance rates in America to make up for it!
You don’t think it might be cause and effect? Nah, couldn’t be…..!
Actually, no. It’s because Michigan is a no-fault state with UNLIMITED medical claims coverage. Jee, ya think there might be some fraud there? In Michigan, naw couldn’t be!
Bwahaha. What a sense of humor putting at 1 at the beginning of the sale price.
The interior looks oddly new compared to the outside, specially the steering wheel.
But if I had to spend $1497, and not a cent less, then I’ll take the Dakota right next to it.
Are all their cars priced at $1497? The Windstar seems to have a similar price scribbled on.
I always remember the crappy plastic on the dash and steering wheel on ’80s and ’90s Fords, it always felt sticky
You haven’t seen sticky and nasty on one of these until you have had the pleasure of having a fleet of these things as your drivers ed cars. We had Tempos of this vintage, with all vinyl interiors, rubber floor coverings and no radio, like a police car.
$1,497?? Did the dealer stick his/her head in the oven? I think $497 would be a fairer asking price for that rustbucket.
$497 here (Australia) and you’d get out of having to provide a warranty, just. That might be handy in this case.
2014’s $1497 is 1989’s $497 beater. And going way back, 1974’s $99!
But I do agree this one is too rusty to drive and should get a bullet in the radiator.
And, yes, these were Ford’s ‘I dont care what I drive’ cars. Even Escorts had more character and better handling.
That is just surface rust, it is not perforated at all.
$1,500 these days can still get you a nice beater…overpriced IMO
If you are buying from a private party and you do your due diligence, however if you are shopping at a buy he re, pay here dealer and you’ve only got $250 to put down and can only afford $25 a week then this is what you get for your $1500.
All joking aside, this isn’t that rusty for Michigan–you can still see the outline of the wheelwell. Could be worse!
Ha! What an interesting find (sarcasm intended). When I was 10 years old (this was in 1987), my father was a high ranking tool company executive who was thinking of buying my mother a new car. I remember this only because one night after school, I accompanied my father to the (now long gone) Ford dealership that was just down the street from my elementary school to look at a new Tempo coupe. I remember sitting in the back seat and being asked “how do you like it?” by my father. I really liked how it had more room than my mother’s car. Thankfully, my father didn’t buy that car…least of which is in hindsight I don’t believe it would’ve lasted much past the end of the warranty. That, and because my mother always looks after her cars, if the Tempo was bought it would’ve meant giving up a cream puff 1981 Camaro (which served us faithfully until the late ’90s).
I have to agree, for a Michigan car of that age, it’s not that bad, relatively speaking. I have seen FAR worse are far newer cars here.
I also see someone has swapped in the base GS interior, as the LTS had much fancier seats.
In these little cars defense, I found them to be surprisingly quiet on the road, and the acoustics in them somehow made the factory stereos sound better than they should have…
If I remember exactly the radio was the best part of my moms car too.
Rust? Bah!!
My 10 year old, $400 ’74 Datsun B210 would’ve made this thing look like a Sherman tank.
I agree that the decimal point on this Topaz’ price sticker is too far to the right.
Note to self.. never buy a used car from a guy named Rusty…
About the “HSO” engine:
Wiki tells us that the original base engine was 90hp; the HSO option took it up to 100. A few years down the road, the “base” engine was up to 98hp, and the HSO was discontinued.
***********************
I know the car doesn’t get a lot of love from the CC crowd, but it was a big step for Ford, moving from its RWD/Fairmont world (though I liked that “honest car” a lot) toward the FWD/Taurus.
Sometimes the little bits fell off sooner than desired, but I still know lots of people who put lots of cheap, basic-transportation miles on these engines. YMMV, of course. And, I have a feeling the 3.0 Vulcan V6 made these cars a bit of a sleeper–anyone ever own one?
One More Question: was the fundamental block/layout indebted to the “Falcon Six,” or was it truly a clean-sheet engine?
The bore spacing that allowed them to be machined on some of the same equipment and the basic cam in block layout is the only thing shared with the “Falcon 6” no parts interchange between the two, not even the lifters, timing chain or rod bearings. The lifters however are the same as used on the 255-351.
I’ve never driven a V6 Tempaz but I bet it would be a bit of a sleeper particularly with the 5sp, though if you want a real sleeper drop in the SHO version of the 3.0. Not easy but it has been done. Or take and use the parts to stick a Vulcan in an Escort.
I drove a V6/stick Tempo sometime back, and it was, er, an adventure keeping it in a straight line while giving it some juice. And powershifting? Fuhgedaboudit… that sucker would torquesteer right off the road.
These were terrible cars.
NO they were good cars for their purpose….cheap basic transportation, they just keep running and running
The carb equipped cars, the ones that actually had the High Swirl Chamber were kind of crappy, once fuel injection came along they were good cheap, durable basic transportation.
By that point, Ford had most of the bugs worked out of them.
People forget that these competed with the GM X-cars, and then the GM N-cars, along with the Plymouth Reliant and Dodge Aries.
Let’s just say that virtually everyone I know who bought a GM X-car or N-car said it was the worst car he or she ever owned and leave it at that. As for the K-cars…you got a good one or a very bad one. And the Reliant and Aries didn’t change all that much over their life span.
So it’s not as though the Tempo was competing with paragons of refinement and durability. Once Ford got the bugs worked out of them, both Tempos Topazes got the job done without much excitement or fuss, and with an interior that was much nicer than those of the GM and Chrysler competition.
I wonder what “PPD” scribbled on all the windshields means.
And also why someone would build a tudor-style McDonalds.
This reminded me of a sports editor at a newspaper where I worked before I retired. He had a white Tempo. One day we we started to “NADA” his car (he wasn’t around) and when we got done, we found it was worth MINUS $127! 😀
I hate to say it, but this was probably the best looking Tempo/Topaz when new. The original Tempo sedan was a head scratcher that it sold at all. Typically light blue, I could not understand anybody that bought the early Tempo sedans – they were truly the successor to weird AMC styling. The updated Hornet or what the Alliance should have looked like.
I actually preferred the original. The sealed-beam lamps were unfortunate, but those were the regs in ’84. And I liked the six-window roofline. But that’s just me.
There was actuallly a very clean ’84 or ’85 Tempo in my area until about a year ago. “Antique” plates and everything. (Yes, that sounds odd when applied to a Tempo, but just about anything over 25 years old can qualfiy, if it’s not your primary vehicle). Hopefully the owner moved, rather than something more untoward happening.
d LTS, it just exudes luxury… My grandparents owned one of these here in Europe, one of the probably very few that were taken here. Likely a grey import from Canada, it sat at the American car dealership they had their 79 Chevy Malibu (which was officially imported) serviced at. It was a blue 4 door saloon LTS with a 2.3 4 cyl and a manual 5-speed gearbox. I wonder why the hell anyone would import such a car, which lacks anything making an American car attractive except for all the then uncommon gadgets it had, but was thirsty, noisy, small, VERY unreliable and its anti-theft alarm was even more hypersensitive than my grandparents. Really, the only thing about it was that it was American, the only reason they bought it, thinking it would offer the same experience as the Malibu. After it was sold for almost nothing, it was scrapped a few years later. The body probably never had the chance to rust because its engine exploded again.
Unlike this dangerously rusty thing. Imagine being rear-ended in that.
Surface rust does not make for a dangerous car. An over-regulated society has blinded you.
Surface rust: no. Rotten wheel arches: yes.
In any case, shall we leave politics out of the discussion please?
Commenting on the absurdity of particular automotive regulations and the effect they can have in forming personal opinions is perfectly relevant to this site. I did not call out any party or group in particular.
This rust is in a small, localized area and is not all the way through the metal in any spot that can be seen in the pictures. To call it a danger due to that is rather ridiculous. There are a dozen good reasons to call this car a danger when compared to modern cars. The rust isn’t even on my radar. At least, not from what can be seen here.
I should qualify my stance by mentioning I live in Minnesota, which uses large amounts of caustic salt and chemicals on winter roadways. The amount of rust on this car would be considered minor for its age.
The rust in the wheel wells is not ‘suface’ it’s rotted, cancerous, metel. I am sure the suspension components are as solid as paper clips.
Somewhere west of Peoria, there’s an overfed used car dealer working out of a trailer with a space heater that knows what I’m talking about. He can tell a sassy Topaz apart from a spirited Tempo, eleven hundred pounds of steel and five pounds of rust that flakes off when anyone brushes by. The truth is – the Topaz was built for him. Built for the man whose face is red with flop sweat when the day is done of haggling, repos and Burger King employees eyeing 1988 Buick Regals. He loves the dusty seats and naughty seat belts and the way the brakes stick in the rain. There’s a savoury smell in the car of a long-dead rodent in the air conditioning ducts – a hint of water leak – and spilled McDonalds coffee. It’s a reedy thing – perfect for rear-endings – yet graceful enough for a run to Arby’s. Step into the Topaz when the hour grows dull and you need to hear a radio that sounds like it’s being held underwater. Then start in the land of real living, of strip malls, dollar stores and tire recappers, and drive off in that sunset towards Pekin.
That’s what I’m talking about, Mr. Ned Jordan! 🙂 Well played!
+1
@ Lynne ;
You must have lived near me in the 1980’s…….
Jake once said ” ’round these parts ‘success’ means dying in a bigger trailer than you were born in ” .
-Nate
I have first hand experience with a Topaz. You have to know your material.