The below Ford promotional video from 1982 comparing the Fairmont to its competitors from GM and Chrysler popped up on my Youtube feed recently – and boy, did it bring back some memories…well, let’s make that nightmares.
Having owned one of these “Malaise-mobiles”, and with seat-time in both others, it makes me wonder how we survived this deep valley of automobiledom. No offense to any readers who currently own or pine to own one of these, but the only word I can conjure up that adequately describes them is “crapboxes.” The fiasco with my brand new 1980 Buick Skylark can be found here, and my miserable experiences with the Fairmont and Reliant are here.
What was most frustrating was the cheapness of the materials and the horrendous build-quality of all three. I really can’t choose one and say “it was built better” than the other two – stuff broke and parts routinely fell off all three.
About the only positive thing I can say is that the engines were “adequate.” The 2.8 V6 in the Skylark was actually pretty decent – when it was assembled correctly. On mine the carb wasn’t torqued to the intake manifold to specs and leaked gas…on to the exhaust manifold. The Fairmont 2.3 “Lima” four was fairly reliable but wheezed and groaned more than Walter Brennan in a John Wayne movie. The 2.2 “Trenton” four in the Reliant was weak but somewhat reliable, however, that didn’t help much when transmissions and front axles routinely wore out every six months.
But on reflection, maybe I shouldn’t be too hard on these – during this period my own judgment and choices were pretty suspect…pull out a picture of me around this time frame and I’d likely be rockin’ a mullet.
I drove a 79 Rabbit that was fun, reliable, and economical-it had Bosch mechanical FI. It was wrecked and I drove a 4 door K car rental for awhile and lawdy was it a P O S. Slow, clunky, vibration up the ***, terrible handling. All things the Rabbit was not. It was a car. But it was a miserable excuse for a car..
As Lee said, “if you can find a better car, buy it”!
My 80 Olds Omega 4 speed 4 cyl was economical on gas but not economical on repairs. In addition to the starter falling out. the “self adjusting” clutch cable mechanism failed almost hitting a hapless pedestrian. The dealer had the gall to tell me the factory fix was a big mistake, the fix was to change the plastic clutch cable parts to be manually adjustable. My only mistake was not getting rid of the Omega sooner.
I briefly owned a Chevrolet Citation, it _could_ have been a winner but GM’s bean counters ruined it .
-Nate
My dad special-ordered a 1980 Ford Fairmont–4-cylinder, 4-speed manual, power steering and brakes, some exterior trim updates (chrome trim, turbine wheel covers). No A/C, but he indulged me and sprung for the “handling suspension”.
It was not 100% trouble-free. It needed at clutch at 35k (my father blamed my learning to drive on it), later had a leaky power steering pump, and the electronic ignition module failed. and the exhaust behind the muffler fell off. This is over the course of 6.5 years and 80k miles. In late autumn of 1980, when my dad went to get snow tires, they could not remove the rear wheels. So the axle was replaced under warranty. Fortunately, we did not have any flat tires…. and as a bonus, car drove well enough in the snow, so after axle was replaced (it took two or three months to arrive…), well, we never bothered with snow tires on that car.
Some winters the engine would surge or hesitate until warmed up. It got decent fuel mileage (19-22 in suburban driving, 29-33 on long trips). In hindsight, we should have sprung for a up-level interior trim, vs the base vinyl seats. That would have been money well spent. The “tin can” (as my father called it) was a good, certainly a decent, car. He gave it to me in 1985, my first car. Looking at my peers, I was quite happy. I drove it from NY to Florida, no issues. I could have done MUCH worse for a first car. For that matter, there were people with new early 1980s cars from GM that had a lot of issues, even during warranty, that sidelined their cars. We did not. The K-cars and 1980s Omnirizons did not. And of course, the Japanese cars did not.
Sorry, no malaise horror story here.
We had all three as company pool cars.
The Citation was noisy as hell on the highway. No doubt to the Iron Duke under the hood and the fuel economy wasn’t so great with an automatic. I remember it bottoming with four in the car. Not a positive impression.
The Dodge K-Car was OK. A bit tight in the shoulder room and the engine wasn’t very strong with a automatic.
The Fairmont was the best with 4 cylinder & 4 speed manual. Slow off the line, but a good highway cruiser with a strong A/C which was deeply appreciated in the Deep South.
Based on my experience with the above early in my career, I ended up with a Cutlas Supreme as my first car out of college. For just a little more money, it seemed light years better compared to the above three.
This highlights something I once read about the Big 3’s business model. They simply strived to be just a tiny bit better than the competition, which wasn’t particularly difficult considering how poorly all the domestics were building cars. So, craptacular was the order of the day, whether it was built by GM, Ford, or Chrysler.
No wonder the Japanese became such a juggernaut in the US.
LOL at the attempts to look high-tech – I’m sure that big reel-to-reel tape drive and big colored lights and buttons are functional (/sarcasm). At least the Apple II is period-correct.
Ford didn’t have a direct competitor to the X and K cars in 1982, so they pitched the Fairmont and Granada as the closest thing, with the Escort for those who wanted FWD and didn’t mind a smaller car. The Fox-body sedans were quite different from the GM and Chrysler products – RWD, considerably larger, and with 6-cylinder power not available on the K-cars and V8 power not available on either the X or K.
Stupid ad at the bottom of the page covers part of the video.
My ’80 Citation X-11 4 spd proved to be a PO$, too…..!#&**()^%$% 🙁
Altho not AS BAD as the nu ’76 Chuvette I made the mi$take of buying; definately the WORST car I ever owned!! DFO
What I saw and remember, was that the Fairmont/Zephyr was 4 years old and the Xcars and Kcars were the newest things. The Fox body saved Ford, but the company was still on the verge of bankruptcy and at a nadir in history. So we’re seeing desperation. Rock bottom prices and great values. Escort, Fox and Panther cars kept Ford afloat until the Aerodynamic Ford Revolution. Couple this with Xcars bombing, Jcars struggling , Kcars became minivans GM’s decline began in the 80s. In 1981 GM had 60% of car sales! What we see here in this laser disc is a desperate Ford, doing all it could to keep afloat.
Also, I remember the Fox body Fords being pretty damn good for the era!
Well, the Fairmont definitely Looked the best out of those. When did they drop the Fairmont wagon? My mother had one (for a short time, was a POS). I wanna say it was a 78?
Also, DAMN, $5 (FIVE bucks) Cheaper than the K car? Heck, If $33 savings in gas in a year is “nothing”, imagine what $5 savings every 4 years is (or however often one got a new car back then).
Sign me up.
X cars were just horrible. K cars were ok but seemed really small. Surprised by the interior number in the vid compared to Fairmont.
Yeah, even in real life, if I had to choose, I’ll take the Fairmont. (Actually, I’d take a Granada w 302, used to have one, felt much more substantial than Fairmont).
For anyone laughing at the “high tech” in the video, just realize that’s how the devices we’re currently using will look before long. Or maybe the next generation will flip the script and go back to writing in longhand and listening to vinyl. Maybe that’s too much to hope for, but we could certainly do a lot worse… Anyway, even I’m pretty bored by that video, and I’m a huge car nerd. Also, any salesman feeling the need to memorize all those talking points might be better served pursuing a different profession; “You do realize you’re saving $5 buying the Futura over the Reliant, don’t you? That could feed your family at McDonalds, you know. Why do you want to starve your family?”
It would be very dull to be shopping between these three cars. I just can’t imagine getting excited about any of them, unlike maybe twenty years earlier, when the choices were actually distinctive and maybe even pretty. My Grandpa had a Citation, and it was actually a decent car. Not one I’d ever take a second look at if not for that though. I rode in a few different K-cars owned by relatives when I was a kid, and remember nothing about them. I can’t think of ever riding in a Fairmont or derivative, but it’s the one I’d choose. Not that it was inherently better at anything, but unlike the other two, you could easily soup it up, thanks to the commonalities with the Fox-body Mustang. Not that you’re going to make a world-beater, but something of wolf in malaise clothing…