Roy and I entered our partnership on October 19, 2015. It was inauspiciously the same day as Canada’s federal election. Roy was always bespoked in a dark red suit, and the colours of the winning team that day were also red. Roy never indicated his preferences one way or another.
Roy was born in Arlington Texas, with prominent relatives including David Buick and Louis Chevrolet. When Roy came of age, he was already an anachronism, a vestige of a distant past. But he wore this status proudly and for that reason he acquired a close circle of friends who respected the traditional values he carried. They knew he was stalwart and dependable, a constant who didn’t waver with the fashions and vicissitudes of time. the He also grew into what used to be referred to as a ‘man of considerable carriage’, although it was referred to endearingly at the time.
Roy took good care of himself, always remembering to apply sunscreen. As such he looked young for his age. Self-care also prevented Roy from any skin cancer or blemishes, although some attributed that to his vigorous constitution and ‘healthy’ frame. Roy never wore a bad toupee as so many others his age; he had a clean pate befitting his quiet dignity. I would like to say that our partnership was one of mistrust and betrayal, if only to make for better copy.
When Roy was younger he was in a bad accident, requiring some reconstructive surgery to his face. He must’ve had a good plastic surgeon, for no one was any the wiser. It was also wiser never to bring this up with Roy, as unconsciously he felt it ran somehow contrary to the high standard of authenticity he held himself to.
True, Roy was slow and ponderous, but he carried you with a surety that was always reassuring. Roy was reliable, always arriving at his destination in an unruffled manner. He didn’t like cities much, preferring the open road with its vastness to match his own considerable carriage, and where his true talents lay. Roy was accommodating. “The more the merrier” he would almost say. Roy never complained when you arrived with everything save the kitchen sink.
Sadly, our story does end somewhat on a note of betrayal. Due to financial circumstances earlier this year due to employment (that is, a lack thereof), I sold Roy’s interests to another party. Roy didn’t complain though, and is probably providing admirable services to his new partner.
Maybe his new partner will betray him too, and Roy will fall on hard times; where neglect won’t get him, old age will. But I hope in some way in another 30 years’ time, Roy is still chugging along, still enjoying the freedom of the open road and putting to bed the notion that being old means being disposable.
Well done, and an excellent read! Roy is the antithesis to these young whippersnappers with all of their electronic doodads and fake scowl on their face.
Everyone’s jacked now, bro.
Roy also looks to fancy Buick wheel covers from an older generation, no?
That’s right. Roy always favoured a classic sartorial style.
(~1969 LeSabre)
Thank you Ryan, for introducing us to ‘Roy’. I believe you live in Manitoba? Given your harsh winters, you kept Roy looking fantastic.
One province over; Sask-a-Bush. 🙂
I always insist on a full hand wax every fall. The enamel (?) paint they used this year also seems to hold up well. I liked that, like the Canyon Yellow, the Maple Red harkened back to the glory days of Roadmasters.
Easy to draw, hard to spell… 🙂
Why is it so windy in Saskatchewan?
Because Alberta sucks, and Manitoba blows. 🙂
I own Roy’s uptown cousin Mister Fleetwood – and am sorry you had to send him on his merry way. These cars float down the road like nothing else – they might not be fast, but better to arrive late and stylish than on time. Hopefully you can cross paths again…
I spent very close to a decade trying to track down a Roadmaster like that (thin on the ground up here with God’s Frozen People), and so I echo your sentiments. Some day when I’m ‘back in clover’.
Great story. For as long as I can remember, I longed to buy a large, traditional American car, and finally had my opportunity in 2007 when I bought a new Crown Victoria — which I unimaginatively named Vicky.
Vicky and I had a love/hate relationship from the start — she wasn’t quite the fuss-free, conservative companion I had been led to expect. In fact, she drove my nuts with big problems (like fuel line leaks and expensive a/c problems) to small problems (the door locks would unlock randomly, the wipers would wipe randomly, etc.). But despite it all, I loved the feel of a big V-8 RWD car.
However, eventually I couldn’t justify all the hassles, and I separated from Vicky for good two years ago. Still miss her though.
We had a 92 Crown Vic for nearly a decade. My wife named her Miss Vicky.
Your 07 sounds like it might’ve taken a swim at one point. I believe Roy had very good ‘partners’ up until my association in 2015.
Yes, with all of her electrical maladies it would seem like she suffered water damage at some point. But I bought it new, and at some point I even looked under the carpet, etc. for signs of water damage and never saw any. I think she was just a rebellious Vicky.
It is possible though that a car can have water damage at a new car dealer, and in fact two years ago we were looking for a new minivan, and test drove a Kia Sedona that appeared to have water damage… the engine bay was caked in mud. Really strange, and I have no idea what the story was, but there’s no way I’d buy that car, especially after my Crown Vic experience.
Plus ca change… always a lemon in the bunch.
I know those years of Panther had paint adhesion issues too, especially in white… perhaps years of being on the chopping block affected morale at St. Thomas.
As a stalwart Canadian of course I can’t besmirch those assemblers too much.. along with Oshawa and other plants north of 49, quality seems to have been consistently high.
Off the top of my head, the only Canadian plant I can think of that had a less that excellent reputation for build quality, may have been the GM plant in Saint-Eustache, Quebec that assembled Camaros and Firebirds. Other Canadian plant experts such as yourself, Vince C., Daniel Stern, or Stumack (or others) would know for sure.
Daniel, your recollection is the same as mine. I am more familiar with the GM plants because I worked for GM for a few years. When I was there Oshawa had the reputation of having the highest quality among all GM plants, while Sainte-Thérèse Assembly had the reputation as the lowest quality. That was the reason I was told that the 4th gen F-body moved there. The F-body was unimportant and lower production.
Actually a quick google search shows the wiki page even notes the poor quality reputation of Sainte-Thérèse Assembly.
BTW, nice Roady 86er! It’s a shame you had to sell old Roy and I hope he finds his new owners look after him as well as you did.
Thanks Vince,
I’ll try to overlook the fact that its classy shoes were replaced by something more garish shortly after it was sold…
@ Vince C. Thank you Vince! Yes, Sainte-Thérèse Assembly. I said Saint-Eustache, but meant Sainte-Thérèse. 🙂 I recall as a child, the Vega, Astre, and H Body were assembled there. I checked the Wikipedia page as well, and a number GM products were made there.
I also remember there were a number of strikes there from watching Canada AM before school, back in the 70s.
A great tribute, and I think “Roy” is a perfect name for that car.
My tastes in these Roadmasters always ran towards the wagons, but I can understand the attraction to the sedans.
My wife picked out that name, truth be told. I agree; it’s evocative of a somewhat corpulent older gentleman but who still carries himself with poise and a dignified bearing.
I always preferred the ‘faces’ of the sedans, although the cachet of the wagons is undeniable. The skylights, the fender-mounted spare, even the pop-out side windows. As a life-long 1/2 ton owner, the utility of it really speaks my language.
The roadmasters were the best looking of these final generation b bodies. The Fleetwood was ok but plasticky inside and out compared with the 79-92 models and the caprice was bloated, plasticky, and cheap. The roadmasters rear quarter was better looking than the bulbous caprice.
Gm b bodies drove much better than the equivalent Panthers in my opinion. I tried to like the marquis and town car when I was new car shopping a couple of times and they felt cheap, plasticky, and agricultural. The steering didn’t mesh smoothly and the parts didn’t feel well coordinated. The gm engines gave a quiet rush of creamy power (such power as there was) but the fords made strained wheezing noises.
Even though these cars were derided as geezer and fleet mobiles, SOMEBODY wanted to buy them and they appealed to their target market. Gm has yet to come up with a really appealing sedan in the 24 years since these cars were cancelled. The impala version made these cars highly profitable and appealing to a younger market. Imagine if buick had come up with grand national/gsx ii based on the roadmaster.
These cars were some of the best gm ever built. Hp increased over the box bodies, especially with the lt1 engine, they were fuel injected, plusher if cheaper than the box bodies, and just as reliable and durable. Excellent cars. If gm gave up on what it was best at, and what market it had a virtual lock on, what hope could it have and what did future it deserve?
I had the vehicle during a period when it had between 250-275000 km. It didn’t give me a bit of trouble. This is a vehicle that’s going on 30 years old.
I thought cars were always girls.
You’re thinking of ships, although this thing was a boat 😛
Very nice.
I’ve had an attraction to these Roadmaster sedans, I think from an objective standpoint, they have the best styling of the corporate siblings that were made of this platform. I’ve also seen these survive surprisingly well, more so than the Chevrolet or Cadillac siblings.
At my previous job, my favorite car was the Fleetwood version of this. A 96 in a lighter blue with a matching vinyl roof, the gentleman who owned it was former Navy and definitely around early to mid 80s I would say. It had over 140k on the odometer, but it was still in pretty good shape. It really felt like the stereotypical land barge I wanted to experience, one-finger steering, sofa like seats, and a ride like driving on glass. It felt like a car that was 20 years older than it actually was, and while I could see why that turned people off when it was brand new, now it gives it that old land yacht charm with the advent of improved gas mileage and better drivability thanks to the technology involved.
Reminds me of something…