We who contribute to CC, whether as an author or as a commentator are passionate about cars. But sometimes that passion has a dark side. I was reminded of this when David Saunders shared his great find of a gathering of Chevy and Pontiac F bodies (here).
For reasons that I cannot really explain (and which may be discoverable only through long-term therapy) the GM F body is a car that I simply hate. There. I said it. I hate F bodies. Looking at David’s very nice pictures created within me a very different reaction than normal. Some sort of visceral, pavlovian response that makes me want to say unkind things.
Why is this? You all know that I have never really been a Chevy guy. Back in the 1970s, most car-people (at least in the midwest) were Chevy guys. Gather around with some car guys in those days, and the conversation would invariably involve small blocks, Muncies, and Posi-s. All of these things were always found in modified Novas and Chevelles and Camaros. You would find an occasional Ford guy whose Mustang-love would be tolerated, though not encouraged. But bring any Mopar-speak into the conversation and the room would fall silent for a second, before the conversation would resume, usually with something involving a Z.
When the second generation F car (how appropriately named) became common, it became the universal object of youthful desire. Whether the youth was a diehard gearhead or an insufferable airhead, the F body was THE car in the performance-hampered late 1970s. Somehow, the F body served as a great democratizing equalizer, bringing together the grease-stained installer of headers and high-rises and the status-conscious child of privilege whose parents bought for them the object of (almost) universal teenage automotive desire.
Sadly for me, it was not as though either Chrysler (or Ford, my usual second option) gave me much with which to debate the F people. Sure, a 360 Volare could be pretty fast, but it was still a Volare – a quality nightmare built by a company going down the toilet. The Starsky & Hutch Torino was there, but only for the airhead half of the room, as no gearhead could never really take that one seriously. So, I have to admit that the Chevyguys certainly had some basis for their insufferable sense of superiority and entitlement. Which made them all the more difficult to be around.
So, when I saw the multiplicity of Camaros and Firebirds, old, long forgotten emotions boiled to the surface. Now I understand that we are in a new century. A new millenium, even. Nobody wants to be a hater, me included. Having not found any sort of a twelve-step program to deal with my deep-seated F body issues, a long-term program of self-help and self-improvement is called for. And isn’t the first step always to recognize the existence of the problem?
So, lets all come together and admit our problems. Hi. My name is Jim. And I hate F bodies. But I want to get better. So I am going to try not to hate any F bodies today. I understand that they have much to recommend them, and I am going to focus on their good points today.
Now my friends in the Curbside Commentariat, it is your turn. What are the cars you love to hate? Not just the ones you find unattractive, or some garden variety model that somehow did you wrong. I am talking about real, unadulterated, irrational hatred for each and every one of the genre. The kind of hatred that would make you want to scream at your best friend in all the world that he is a pathetic loser, should he buy one and proudly drive it over to show it to you. Now is your opportunity to spew a little venom towards your most hated cars (but not, of course, the other commentators). Remember, this is only for the laudatory purpose of cleansing your souls and making the world a better place. Even for people who like F bodies. Oops.
My anger is more directed at “trends” in automotive-dom.
SUVs/CUVs, period. FWD and AWD standins for the station wagons/minivans they murdered. Station wagons in hooker heels it what I call them. Every single SUV/CUV that I know the primary driver of, that primary driver is a woman. Men are often accused of over compensating with rather silly jacked up 4×4 trucks, I argue that SUVs/CUVs are the female form of compensation. In nearly every instance a minvan or wagon would provide better space utilization and better fuel economy. Extra ground clearance they will never use, AWD for those handful of days per year they actually need it. The funny thing is that manufactures have basically admitted that minivans would be more productive. New Explorer and GMs Lambda platform triplets? Minivans masquerading as CUVs.
My vitrol is also directed at manufactures who require you to accept the uplevel trim package to get the engine you really want. Like only being able to get the V6 in a midsize sedan if you accept the leather and sunroof.
Oh and lastly the death of manual transmission options in certain vehicles like many manufacturers who are getting rid of manual trans options in 1/2 ton trucks. Really? No manual trans in a truck?
Now Dan, why no hatred directed toward certain cars directly? I want to experience them all before I make my judgement.
I’m with ya on the CUVs. When my sister was shopping for a new ride for her growing family, I suggested a new Caravan or a used Volvo wagon, but she thinks they are “boring mom-mobiles.”
She wound up buying the quintessential mom-mobile, a 2012 Honda CR-V.
I don’t see much point to cute-utes for urban driving, generally I have known a couple of people who could have used a CR-V. One was a couple who lived at the end of a lengthy (three-mile?) gravel road; nothing challenging in off-road terms, but they had a series of Accords that looked like they’d been through the wars. I also know a couple of older people with knee problems who favor them because they wanted something more upright than a car (and thus easier to get in and out of) that would still get something resembling gas mileage. So, I have to respect that.
Sorry to say Dan, but my wife fits your stereotype: 2006 CR-V. It was the last year you could get a stick. We test drove a Mazda-5, the only minivan you can still get with a stick, but it was too cramped inside. If it wasn’t for desperately wanting a manual transmission, we would’ve looked at an Honda Odyssey, Dodge Magnum etc.
Amen! A Lexus RX is my most despised vehicle ever! Basically a gussied up jacked up Camry Hatchback with a Brougham package and then some women will call them a truck! Ha Ha.
The F body a car which I consider a man’s car. Rarely see a women driving one anymore. I personally love them.
Yeah, and SUVs/CUVS also murdered true off road vehicles like the Blazer.
Do you mean Blazer as in the K5 Blazer?
Chevy Corsica/Beretta. Trash driven by trash. Especially in comparison to the world class first generation Taurus, those little bastards were the epitome of GM’s special sauce of marketing cynicism and mechanical ineptitude.
Dry heave.
Fortunately, their degenerate race has long since perished from the earth.
Plenty of them still around here…I guess I’ll have to write one up sometime!
2 Corsicas I see regularly around town, including one hatchback! No tinworm here in NM to help cleanse the landscape of them.
4 in 6 blocks of my house alone, all with the popcorn machine exhaust note of the 2.8 or 3.1 hooked to a THM125 screaming at each other like a flock of crows. It’s kinda charming in a freaky Tim Burton kind of way.
“popcorn machine exhaust note”… a good way to put it.
HATE the sound of those motors: exactly what I’m talking about with regards to GM arrogant incompetence…
“Let’s give antiquated iron lumps a “sporty burble”… that’ll fool the rubes!” Heartbeat of America, my ass.
Totally disagree — I think the exhaust note of the 2.8/3.1 engine is very nice…I hear it coming from the Z24 Cavaliers, dustbuster minivans & Luminas — I do not like the sound of the 2.2L Cavaliers though — they sound similar to this “popcorn” sound you are describing.
And Paul these cars were oferred in Europe For short period of time ). Corect me if I`m wrong. Can you imagine?
My ’88 Beretta is in a junkyard now as are most of the late 80s early 90s autos. I got 10 years out of my ’88 Beretta GT and could have had more if I had not tired of the car. I don’t know if a Taurus would have been a better buy but I fondly remember my pretty Beretta.
Take a gander at this monstrosity, and find something positive to say.
Go, ahead, I’ll wait…
No?
That they depreciated like sh*t down an outhouse is the best I can come up with, no doubt pleasing the high school dropouts in Starter Jackets (to kill for!) and unwed teenage mothers with big-ass ’90s bangs who drove them.
Classy.
I guess that’s why I hate them. GM foisting a utter tacky, craptastic, lazy excuse for a misery wagon on a gullible public too stupid to bother to learn anything different… what’s that about fooling some of the people all the time?
Same story in politics.
Ah, here’s the cheese…
preach on, brother. Those Corsica/Beretta are totally heave inducing!
Bad news — I am alive and well much to your disdain but it’s okay, I understand. I have added incentive to drag my 2.8 5-speed Corsica hatchback up here & start working on it now. This car will be a blast to drive…
I used to see these Berettas & Corsicas up at the impound auctions on a regular basis with 200K – 250K on them — the drivetrains were usually intact — the interiors other than the seats themselves were awful though — the door panels, dash, & interior plastic curled up and/or cracked.
I think my commenting here might be a bit superfluous. I’ve left a pretty hefty digital trail on the subject.
I laugh at the IQ that could purchase some cars as I get trapped behind SUVs creeping gingerly over speed humps
I’m well known for hating the downsized (1977-96) B-Bodies because people treat them (now) like they were Jesus Christ of General Motors. Probably because they figure heavily in cars of my youth, I’ll never get what was so special about them, given there was often an example of GM at their true pinnacle sitting in garages to marvel at when I was growing up.
Broughams of all stripes. Unless it’s a real Brougham of distinction like a 1957-60 Eldorado Brougham or something, no amount of pillow tufted velour or leather seating equates luxury to me when those seats are the most uncomfortable things to be buckled to after 90 minutes of driving.
1990-2002 Honda Accords, because they’re annoyingly good at being a fun appliance. Like that straight A student that gets into Harvard and is actually a nice person, you want something bad to happen to them, but it never does.
1964-66 Ford Mustang, It represents why I don’t fit in with mainstream good ole US of A, note I’ve only taken one picture of a 1st Gen Mustang in all of the pictures in the cohort, and that’s because a nice Granada was in the shot. Corvair me all day every day.
BMW 3-Series 1984 to present, but more for the people that drive them, the wannabe 1%.
My Jeep Wrangler was starting to break down and since we had just bought my wife a new SUV, I took her 2001 Honda Accord. I had an hour commute each way to work and so I drove it for years.
It was so easy to drive and so competent and so utterly boring. I would go car shopping all the time but I just couldn’t pull the trigger because of gas mileage and a new car payment. And the Honda was so easy to drive. In bumper to bumper traffic, I could be half asleep and drive with one finger.
I tried and tried to kill it but like all good toasters, it lived forever. It FINALLY broke down – the dreaded Honda transmission – and I got a 2011 Mustang.
Wow – just wow.
If everyone would do that, there were be no more Accords and Corollas. I found I love to drive again. Even as competent and cost friendly as the Accord was – you couldn’t get me to even ride in one again.
Sounds like my dad’s story with a 1981 Ford Fairmont. He bought it from my Grandma when she bought a new Monte Carlo in 1986. It was economical and reliable but he thoroughly hated it. He drove it for about 5 years, then sold it to another relative. He had been looking unsuccessfully for a used Suburban with the 6.2L diesel for awhile, and finally settled on a 1984 GMC passenger van with the diesel.
Toyota Corollas. They are the ultimate appliance car for people who have no interest in cars. Their owners (large generalization coming!) are largely people with no tolerance for risk or adventure, thus taking every curve in the road at under the suggested speed. If there are two lanes at a stoplight, and one of them has a Corolla in it, choose the other lane. If I wanted to have the same relationship with my car as I have with my toaster, this would be the car to own. Although I suspect that the crown is being passed to the Prius as I write this.
The Prius (regular & C) is well on its way to taking the appliance crown from the ‘rolla.
Strongly dislike Prii (used to really hate them though) because the people who drive them intentionally drive 5-10mph slower because they think they’ll sip even less gas. It’s maddening!
On the other side of the coin, I do want a Prius C but only because I’m sick of my POS ’97 Ford Escort that guzzles gas due to a botched tune-up. I have to replace all of the spark plug wires because the Goofus that worked on my car probably didn’t make it in mechanic school.
Oh and I hate SUVs/CUVs as well.
I would agree with Ian that the Prius is rapidly taking over for the Rolla and the Camry.
I’ve moderated my dislike for the Prius over the years because I analyzed my irrational hate for them after driving a few. PLEASE NOTE: this does not make me a Prius lover, by any stretch of the imagination. It is as unappropriate for me as a Lincoln Town Car would be. But for other reasons.
Driving them, I found them to be no great shakes. They’re a little unusual at first, but after a while you get into a groove with it.
What really set my teeth on edge with these cars was the incredibly generous tax breaks, and the idea that you were somehow doing something ‘good’ for the environment by driving one of these things. You know, the smug factor as demonstrated by South Park.
FWIW, now other cars have gotten the incredibly generous tax breaks, but haven’t been featured on South Park (AFAIK), so the path blazed by the Prius looks like it will be trod again and again. Thanks Toyota!
It’s just a car. With a really big battery and some extra equipment. It’s not a movement, or a religion or anything else. But in 2004-2005 it was touted as the greatest thing since sliced bread, and for those of us who’ve been around cars for a while, we weren’t all that knocked out by it.
To each their own. I get my jollies caning a 17-year old J-body with a Quad 4 on Sunday mornings…
Did you say “J” body with a Quad 4? I’d love to know more.
Car on left is my “Prius” — vastly superior in every way save for 10 less MPG. Ignore the Ferrari on the right for now.
Been a happy Prius driver since September, 2000. Maybe it’s a regional thing, but I rarely see a slow Prius around Portland. When I do get stuck behind one I get plenty annoyed, maybe moreso for giving Priuses a bad name. I’ve always driven mine fast, because I like to drive fast, and have never wanted for power. I love Prius technology, it’s the most advanced gas-burner on the road.
Bought my 2nd Prius in 2010, with no tax benefit from Oregon or the feds. Great road car, Portland to Salt Lake in one day at 75 mph and 48 mpg. By the way, our gas is up to $4.25/gal this week.
Much more often the cars I’m stuck behind are old farts in Buicks, bozos in old Kias, rich morons in BMWs. Not to mention the Suburbans and Escalades.
I’m glad you indicated ‘large generalization’ coming because indeed it was. I am stuck in my Corolla for financial reason while my wife gets the relatively new Volvo wagon.
Meanwhile, I feel like i’m in purgatory, biding my time until my situation improves before I can get out of my bland, but effective penaltybox. I miss my old v8, 302 manual transmission a great deal. It’s not that we don’t like driving because I had put over 250k internationally driven miles on that car –it’s called personal situations and choices people have to take given the wonderful economy we find ourselves in.
The 1966 Rover 2000.
The 1971 Opel 1900 Sport Coupe.
Need I say more?
The GM product that provokes a visceral reaction for me is the H2 & H3. They were the Generals cynical attempt to cash in on the tail end of the SUV boom selling out the “street cred” of the H1. The dealers even had a fake quonset hut facade to add to the illusion.
Expensive, weight bloated, less useable interior space than other platform mates. The base I5 in the H3 made it a strong contender for the most underpowered title.They are also a joke off road with a fragile & expensive to lift IFS, poor visibility and too much width.
I guess I can still muster some genuine hate for these. Thanks for reminding me.
Seeing a Hummer on the street makes me furious. You guys know I love a large car with style and class, or a large truck that is large for a real purpose. Hummers were the most cynical exploitation our military culture, full-size Transformers for little boys who never grew up into men.
Worst of the worst in my Drag Area article, 2003 Hummer H2: 26.5 sq. ft. “The H2 was seemingly an exercise in how monstrous a four-passenger conveyance could get. A drag coefficient of 0.57 compounds its hugeness, presenting a drag area of 26.5 square feet. Five Honda Insights push less air aside than one Hummer H2. Here’s hoping we never see its like again.”
Agreed.
As a USMC veteran of Gulf War I (’90-’91), I always thought the civilian Hummer craze was dumb, especially because I was a Motor Transport Officer 3502 and knew the HMMWV well. Hell, I was signed for dozens of these things in my different motor pools. The Humvee did some things well, but in reality was a POS with the fiberglass bodies, the GM 6.2 Diesel, the TH400 tranny, and the half-shafts with 4 wheel independent suspension. They were overpriced, overweight, oversized, and overrated and used too much fuel. I can remember before the Gulf War, doing motor marches (convoys) around the Carolinas and Virginia, and having civilians stop and gawk at these things – probably the first time they had ever laid eyes on one. They had open differentials although the driver could lock the axles with the center transfer case. We were taught in certain situations how to powerbrake to equalize the torque on all 4 wheels to get true 4 wheel drive when stuck in sand, mud, etc. Many TH400s were burned up by Marines that didn’t powerbrake properly. CV boots always tore out in the field. Plastic fan blades always broke. Cheap cast iron alternator brackets broke constantly.
In contrast, the few M151 Jeeps that we still had around in the 80s and early 90s were light, small, more fuel efficient, and could go inside a CH-46 helicopter. They were fun to drive. Problem was the M-151 used mo-gas (gasoline) and added to the logistics train complexity, while the HMMWV was diesel.
Anyway, I share your disdain of civilians who never served in the armed forces playing grown up GI Joe with the civilian Hummers so they can feel “patriotic”, “militaristic”, “safe”, and be a jack-assed bully on the road. What a pain in the ass to maintain these friggin’ things in Saudi Arabia and Kuwait. I also slept in many of these as well as the 5-ton M-813s (w/ manual 5-speeds) and M-923s (w/ automatics).
Agreed, I spent enough time in a recon unit riding around in these to learn that they were essentially overweight, over priced Blazers. We had an M151 for our medic truck in my unit and it could often go where the HMMMVs could not.
I never could understand how someone would by an H2 over a Tahoe!
Now that I see the 4-door wranglers all over town I’m constantly wondering why the US Gov. doesn’t pay Chrysler to drop a nice reliable diesel in them (maybe a 4 cylinder cummins) and boom – you’ve got your simple, reliable, light weight H1 replacement! And most importantly it’s cheap! I can’t imagine it would cost more than $25k per copy! Maybe that’s the problem – they would be too cheap.
Agreed on the H2/3. I’ll expand that hate/dislike for a few categories of pretense-mobile. The handful of H2s around here are split between a few doctors and professionals who a) have to get there no matter the weather and b)want to show off. The H3s seem to go to the entitled kids of the H2 owners…
I’ll lump the luxo-pickups into a similar category as the H2s, though it’s ranchers, and maybe 1 in 50 actually has a horse (or bull) trailer behind. Not sure if the rancher really needs to get there, but show off, yes. (Lots more luxo-pickups than Hummers, but we’re ranch and farm country.)
I’ll put the Smart into the “I’m greener than you” batch–fun seeing one driving in the country where we get 30 MPH crosswinds.
No venom for CUVs. We actually have a use for our Forester. The mileage might not make it into the hall of fame, but it’s close to double that of our Silverado and it’s a good beast to get to town before the plows hit our side of the highway.
Totally agree w/ this. And add Escrapades in any variation
Yep those were a stupid idea and the military shit heap version has proved useless anywhere other than open desert the NZ SAS in Afganistan have rented Hilux utes in preference to military Hummvees.
I grew up hating on Chrysler products, much as you had disdain for GM. I was a GM kid pure and simple. The Fs were some of the most beautiful cars made whereas, in my mind, most Dodges and Plymouths were $&@/. It’s taken things like CC to help me gain an appreciation for them.
Bot today? The #1 in my cross-hairs is the Camry, especially silver LEs, followed by just about any other Toyota product, as they are some of the most plain, appliance like cars I’ve ever seen.
And following all the recent reviews of the “exciting” new Altima, I’m throwing Nissan right there with them.
Thank you and good night.
Having been an employee of a rental car company for most of ’02-’09, I have a long list of cars that I dreaded having to drive. Back in 2002 there were some genuinely horrible cars on our fleet. By ’08 or so, most cars were tolerably mediocre at worst…But I HATED the Chevy HHR (which I think stands for “horrible, horrible rental”).
Off the top of my head, here’s my top 5 most hated:
1. Chevy HHR
2. Chevy Cavalier/PontiacSunfire
3. Ford Freestar(I liked the Windstar better)
4. PT Cruiser
5. Dodge Nitro
(Dis)honorable mention:1st-gen Kia Sedona, Aveo, VW Beetle….
the Caliber deserves a spot on your top 5 list!
The Caliber was pretty bad! I hated their CVT. Everything else was pretty awful too. Its one saving grace was that most of them had satellite radio, at least until the initial subscription ran out…
Before I comment, I’d like to ask the author how much of this “hate” he feels towards F-bodies can be traced to the car itself and how much toward the demographic that buys those cars? Is it the Camaro or the Camaro driver?
I think everyone who comments on this one should ask themselves the same question: how much overlap in my mind is there between the car I “hate” and the kind of people generally (or stereotypically) found behind the wheel? Might there not be an element of social snobbery at work in our automotive preferences? Not that there’s anything wrong with social snobbery; I’m a card-carrying snob myself (even if the things I’m a snob about tend to be esoteric and atypical.)
The reason I ask is, when words as strong as “hate” are being used, it seems to me we’re leaving the realm of the intellectual and the objective and entering the realm of the emotional and the personal. Intellectually, you might find plenty to complain about on your least-favorite vehicle, rightly ridiculing its myriad faults in design and/or build. But to get emotionally worked up to the point of “real, unadulterated, irrational hatred” usually requires a human target. Doesn’t it?
I’m going to give that one some thought myself before I add any more…
It’s really all in good fun, Alexander. I was hoping that my over the top language would be the giveaway that I was engaging in a little hyperbole. Still, I think that some cars strike folks at an emotional level – different cars, different emotions, different people.
Now, I just have to brace myself for the inevitable responses from Junqueboy and Carmine, who should both be about finished sharpening their knives by now. 🙂
Camero’s rule!!! Ford sux!!!
Seriously though, your first & third pictures are classic examples of the Camero stereotype. The 2nd gens just look horrible as hot rods. The jacked up ass, hole-in-da-hood, chrome, stupid stripe jobs, wide tires seem to be so popular. Colors of choice were always purple, orange, red, black or brite yella.
The SuperChevy, CarCraft, etc writeups on these cars add to the stigma — I used to read that crap when I was a kid & even then I thought the language sounded stupid — I learned snappy new phrases like ‘meats’, ‘stickies’, ‘hides’, ‘huffer’, ‘dizzy’, ‘tranny’, ‘buzz windows’, billet, ‘bang shift’, etc.
Had I never experienced owning & driving unbastardized versions of these cars…I’d probably be an F-body Hata myself.
But alas, my first vehicle ever was a light blue ’78 Firebird Esprit (305-2bbl) without a spoiler. I so loved that car….my dad sent a few through his failed used-car-lot endeavor — when he was out of town I’d sneak them all out for joyrides…
My slices of heaven included a green with green interior ’79 Base Camaro, 305-2bbl, a maroon with Camel Interior ’78 Base Camaro 350-4bbl, and a Charcoal with red interior Formula 301-4bbl. These were just used older cars, unmodified. They were just beautiful cars to me — I loved the low sleek stance of them & the ergonomics perfect. My right arm on the console, my left arm on the window sill, my left hand on top of the LH sideview mirror — these cars still fit me like a glove.
I can’t stand to see these things modified though…never cared for the yellow/brown cars nor the black/gold TransAms.
Sob story #1:
The looser, I mean luzr, I mean loser who ended up with my old Skybird immediately spray-bombed it flat black & a few months later…it ended up at the scrapyard I worked at..
Sob Story #2:
I spotted a 1973 Verdant Green Esprit on Craigslist for like $1500. OK… my favorite color of all time (Verdant Green) on my favorite year Pontiac of all time (1973) on my favorite model car of all time (Firebird) with my favorite color white interior.. I tried to resist but failed… I called the guy who was a little over an hour away & said I wanted it — I’ll pay his asking price if he’d hold it.
He said ‘OK’ but there’s some folks already on the way over to look at it & if they had the cash..well… I flew to Raliegh…probably the most stressful drive…pulled in the driveway right as the rednex were handing over the cash for the car. I asked “Mr. Camero” what he was going to do with the car & his response was, “I’m gonna make an Eleanor Car out of it”.
Your reply to my rantings shows you to be a gentleman, sir. A gentleman with a good sense of humor, might I add. Following my rant and all of the comments that followed, I am reminded of two particular F bodies that I liked more than most. First, a next door neighbor (the Bordners, who were big Pontiac people in the 60s) bought a gold 70 or 71 Firebird. A six with dogdish hubcaps – it was the only one I ever saw like it. It was parked out on the street one day when a buddy and I were racing our bikes down the street. I smacked right into the rear of it and rolled up that big back window and off to the side. Maybe this ruined me on these. 🙂
The second was the girlfriend of a school roommate who bought a new 78 Camaro. Teal blue/green, tan interior with a 350 and rally wheels. It was the nicest one of these I ever saw, and the only one that I ever even thought that I might like. From reading your comment, I would bet that you would have liked it. Compared to my 71 Scamp and my roommies 75 Mustang II, it was a pretty darned nice car. They got married and kept it for several years.
Ooh….You’re right about the aqua ’78 Camaro. I like the ’78-’81 styling and that aqua color would have been probably my first or second choice on these! I’d prefer a base Camaro 350 to a Z28 because the engines were the identical ‘LM1’ unit but the base coupe has a nice high-geared 2.41 or 2.56 rear end versus the 3.42 or 3.73 version in the Z.
Thanks for the kind words, btw.
For consolation to your first sob stories, there is a 78 Skybird for just under $7,000 in Loveland, CO on eBay Classifieds right now Junqueboi! It has less than 80,000 miles on the clock, is IMMACULATELY detailed, is rust free, has the original blue Pontiac Snowflake rims, TH350, Pontiac 5.7L 350 V8, 4bbl carb, and more!
And, it’s not mine!
I just read this now (thankfully). I’m already car-poor you know! A perfect Skybird or the right Boat-tail Riviera would seriously be the only two vehicles I’d probably spend “new car money” on.
I hate a lot of shit. I love a lot of shit too. It’s about having strong feelings, I am OK with that. Hating an F body is not the same as hating black people or Muslims. Just as loving a Ferrari is not the same as loving orphans in Calcutta.
This is a really tall order to fill because I have driven at lenght and/or wrenched on pretty much anything made between 1975-2005 so it has to be a bit of a list.
GM J Bodies.
Total crap the day they came out the door and never got much better. The first ones were over-priced, droning pieces of shit and like 24 years later the last ones were bargain basement droning pieces of shit. On every occasion I have ever had the misfortune to drive one I had a permanent cringe. Did much to kill GM.
Ford Tempo
The un-driver’s car. Horrid to drive; rough, gutless motor. There is no way that Ford should have been peddling these aberrations when Honda was selling the Accord.
German Cars
Okay, I will really open a can of worms here. My experience of German cars is they are over priced, high maintenance horror stories that should never be operated outside a factory warranty. Yes, they drive nice but when you are stuck in traffic 99% of the time (like I am) it hardly makes a difference. Repairs on anything except and old VW are expensive, complex and time consuming. Finally, you will always get ripped off by a guy named Rudy who always disappears at 1:30 pm.
Let the flames come!
Personal hate? That’s easy!
Any four door sedan with a front engine, automatic transmission bolted to the rear of the engine block with a column shifter, rear drive, bench seat, and pathetic suspension. Yes, the (supposedly) “classic” American automobile. The only thing classic about it was lousy space utilization compared to overall size, lousy gas mileage because the damned car was way too heavy, and lousy handing because putting a real suspension under them would have cost a couple of extra bucks and maybe cut into the per unit profit margin by a few cents.
Just another cheap-assed way of keeping the 1935 design on the road, updated only by changing (cheap) sheet metal, adding or subtracting gew-gaws (fins, chrome, portholes, noses, etc.) and never touching the stuff that would actually cost money and possibly improve the car: drivetrain, suspension, brakes, etc.
And then Detroit showed just how cheap and sleazy they could go by coming up with the brougham – the perfect car for the average American with a credit line, overblown ego, and a complete lack of taste.
They’re gone. And I don’t miss them in the slightest.
Sigh, Syke. I can’t actually dispute any of this. I got attached to old boats at an early age, but I can’t rationally defend anything about them.
Part of why I hate first-gen Explorers is that they almost undid the much-needed evolution of the family car during the 80s. They brought back lousy fuel economy and sloppy suspensions with a veneer of “ruggedness,” which was almost as laughable as broughaminess.
This is why I’m not that offended by CUVs – at least an RX300 is designed to haul people around suburbia, unlike an early-’80s Ranger pickup with extra seats, underinflated tires and an iron pushrod payload weighing down the wrong end.
Well put: “ruggedness” is just ’90s/’00s version of “broughaminess.”
Great Marketing Battles of History!
Eddie Bauer Laredo King Ranch Lasso Canyonero vs. Salon Landau Elite Brougham d’Elegance!
WHO WON?!
+1!
“Not suitable for city or highway use.” 🙂
Me too.
You said it brother…
I’ve felt that way since at least the late 70’s when old enough (OK, in Jr High) to be cognoscente of this design paradigm that the US automakers stayed with, well into the early 90’s at the very least before finally relenting and letting it fade away.
Add to that, so much of what they made was clunky and felt very out dated, even in the 70’s, especially when just about everyone else had ditched the front bench seat, added 2 buckets and a console to every car they built, no matter how large or small it was. Heck, even in the 80’s when everyone had more or less gone FWD, many of the same US built cars felt out dated and cluggy.
I’ll second the H2; though the H3 is still a stupid vehicle it doesn’t quite arouse true hatred. Those Freightliner pickup trucks though, I can’t see one without thinking the driver is a terrible terrible person. To that I’ll add any late model lifted quad-cab pickup, especially if they have “custom” trim and blue headlights as they often do.
Both Freightliner and International have “pickup” trucks based upon a tarted up version of their medium heavy platforms (M2 and TransStar). They usually sell for a good $30-50k above their working class variants and in rather low numbers. I’ll begrudge them a high margin low volume spinoff of a vehicle that mostly peddles freight, tows, plows snow and delivers food & drink. The few I’ve seen are usually used by race teams or wealthy hobby ranchers.
I spent 8 months operating a TranStar 8600 set up as a hosteling tractor and it had great visibility and ergonomics. I’d take an 8600 over a 1 1/2 ton Dodge or Ford anytime.
Difficult one this…..but I’d really say there are no cars that I hate (although the Hummer comes close!) More relevant is what peopl DO TO CARS!
I’m not keen on any customisation but what really offends me is ‘RAT ROD’. Can anyone explain to me why this is done to cars and how it makes them better? Bikes ie ‘Choppers’ also offend me. In 1969 it might have been cool to attempt to look like Peter Fonda, in 2012….
I HATE being Stuck behind a Suburban where I Cant See If They have just gotten a good text and I have To wait While She answers it. ..This dislike extends to anyone who blocks my view with their personal vehicle.
That’s the main problem I have with SUVs (besides their insane waste). Apparently unlike most drivers, I need to see more than the back of the car in front of me. I need to see what’s ahead of and around them, so I know what the traffic is doing. Not to mention the scenery. Makes me nuts if I can’t. Drop back and another SUV just takes its place in my face.
I’ve long thought of but never seen a bumper sticker to discourage them:
“You’re only as fat as what you’re driving.”
Going up and down Laurel and Coldwater Canyons in LA… in a Car amidst ^ lexus suvs, 5 Range Rovers, Mercedes Gk Jeeplike thing… is a nightmare inching up inclines trusting their judgement/backroll etc…
I read an article somewhere recently, I think it was from SEMA, that you’re not really a “car guy” unless you can appreciate all genres of cars from brass era to lowriders to 4x4s to tuners to whatever. I thought that was a load of bunk being pushed by and organization with a vested interest in pushing that POV. I don’t know of anyone that has the same level of enthusiasm for all types of cars, with the possible exception of Jay Leno.
I hate new cars, and by “new” I mean most cars from the mid-70s and up. Things went downhill fast after 1971, and by 1975 style and performance were just a cruel joke, and things have never been the same since. My opinion of probably 90% of all cars made after 1975 is somewhere between mild dislike and strong disgust.
You were in the wrong place JPC over here fast off the line and quickest to 100mph was Mopar Valiant Charger 265 E49 the fastest 6 cylinder car anywhere and they blew the doors off anything from Ford or GM, in fact it took untill BMW built some of their 6 cylinder hotrods that any 6 could keep pace with a Valiant set up the rite way. The F body floorpan/Chassis made it out here GMH built a 4door sedan out of Camaro parts the HQ- HZ Holdens as such they were a good car there is a HQ sedan race series so they can be made to handle well but hate em nah they had good parts.
They made four door F bodies over here too, they called them the X bodies, oh wait it was the other way around they made a sporty coupe out of their compact 4dr sedan platform.
“Hi, Jim.”
Saturns. All of them. A different kind of car, my ass. plastic body panels with chasms between them. Leaky, agricultural engines. Interiors that make Fisher-Price fit and finish look impressive. Worst of all, the owners that think they bought the greatest car on the planet. I hate Saturns with a blind passion, and the demise of the brand made me sing. At least with a “real” GM product you already know to expect crap. Saturn marketed to idiots that their car was the best, and those morons bought into it.
A close second is Volvo.
I can remember in the mid 90s when the Saturn cult was pretty big, with the Woodstock like gatherings every summer at the Saturn plant in Springhill, TN. Ellen Degeneras did a satire on the Saturn cult in her sitcom. When I bought my new ’94 Mazda Navajo (Ford Explorer) in Kingman, AZ, the dealer hosted cook-outs and maintenance classes every month with his new car customers. It was so obvious that he was trying to copy Saturn.
Someone should be compiling a top 10 or 15 list consisting of our mindnuggets. If we ever get around to it, Harry, your contribution Freightliner pickup truck should automatically shoot to the top (with a bullet, as Kasey kasem might say) .
An awful vehicle built for only the true sociopath amongst us.
superbad…
are you saying that volvo is a close second to saturn’s craptastic engines, body fittings and interiors???
Have you ever sat in a proper Volvo??
Volvos are just overrated. I don’t think they’re crap, I just think they get an awful lot of love for being what a lot of other cars are, and with blah styling to boot. They’re good enough cars, but it makes me laugh when car guys talk about how awful an interior is in car brand A, and then beam about ’80s Volvos with their black plasticky dashes and horrible looking seats complete with goofy headrests. I’ll take an old Benz or a real Saab over a Volvo any day.
It is possible to both overstate a situation badly and yet be generally right. Before Saturn went to the dogs (Opel) you could buy an efficient car that was tough regarding driving it mercilessly or wrecks. Mine got over 40mpg hwy and never broke. It was a different kind of car IMHO.
Then came the Saturn Vue, the death of the S series, and the birth of the ION and the other GM trash. When that happened I shifted to your point of view.
I loved my cheap little S1. I loved my ? Vue until I realized my Vue loved ? me. Wasn’t mad about the death of Saturn because Saturn pretty much died and became Opel West in 2002.
The marketing did have a certain “drink the cool aid” vibe about it. That said they were solid, no frills transportation appliances. As long as you kept feeding the engine oil they’d last just a long a the same era products from Toyhonissan. My moms was at 150k when traded and I have a friend whos 1st gen S series lived to 230k before being totaled.
Everything after the S series was garbage though.
Klockau will have you killed by a Swedish mafia equivalent for your Volvo remark!
The Chevrolet F-ed-Uplander LS (Load of $#!+) and all of its corporate cousins, the Yugo, the Trabant, Prii, ricermobiles, the Wartburg Knight, and any Ford product built in the US between 1973-78 (excluding the 3rd gen Mustang, Continentials built before 1978, and first gen Capri). There, I said it.
Oh, and the 1st and 2nd gen VW Beetles.
Cadillac Escalade, no doubt. The most out-of-it people on the planet drive those things. They forget they’re driving, and not on the couch at home. Oddly enough, I haven’t noticed this with less-fancy big SUVs. It’s just something about the Escalade.
Anything Japanese! Particularly Toyota. Uninspired designs, introduced option packages which eventually did away with the availability of getting the engine or transmission of choice on any trim level. Killed the great American car industry with the help of cafe and ushered in the age of SUV’s and CUV’s. They along with the German’s also brought about the alphanumeric naming crap.
My take on it is the Great American Car Industry do a lot of work to kill itself.
Exactly. A whole bunch of craptastic cars (including Broughams) in the 70’s were sufficient to bring the U.S. auto industry to its knees. The Japanese benefited by the fact that they were here with cars that actually, you know, ran right.
Also HATE the horrible plasticky whirring when Chryslers come to a stop. Saying: “Yes, this car is built with the quality of a Chinese toy…”
Any Mazda.
I can’t say I really hate any cars. I hate the owners of certain cars, so I suppose there’s a certain rub-off effect on my opinion of the cars. These would be drivers who can’t bear the thought of accelerating at more than, oh, 0.1 g from a stoplight, who can’t get within shouting distance of highway speed before trying to merge onto a freeway (also fear of acceleration), and who habitually drive 5-10 mph below the limit on a two-lane road. Cars associated with these drivers would be Prii, Panthers, and most Cadillacs.
Now, there are vehicles I don’t see the point of – SUV’s, CUV’s, pickups (unless driven by a farmer or a tradesperson). My feeling, though, is of disdain, and a silent thought of “I don’t know why you’re wasting your money on that pig, but I guess that’s between you, your finance company, and the gas station). On the other hand, when I worked for Ford, I always said a little thanks, because Explorers, F-Series, and Navigators paid for my profit sharing or bonus checks over the years.
Finally, I come to the sainted cars of the 50’s and 60’s. I love the style of (some of) these cars, expressing as they do a certain post-war exuberance and “we’re on top of the world” attitude. Having said that, this was the era when Detroit began falling further and further behind the rest of the world in automotive technology (not counting auto headlamp dimmers or auto temperature control), sowing the seeds of its downfall in the 70’s and 80’s. Yes, the cars could be made to accelerate by checking the right box on the order sheet, but they had skinny bias-ply tires, drum brakes (which when power-assisted were too touchy), suspensions that would make you seasick on anything other than a brand new freeway, terrible space utilization, and shallow but deep trunks that required someone get into the trunk to wrestle bags around if you actually wanted to have a road trip for a family of five. And lets not forget the cushy seats on the luxury models that would give you lower back pain after any drive of more than an hour.
I also can say that I really don’t hate any cars. The only cars that come close are the boxy Cubes and the Smart types. They absolutely have no style. I’d rather take the bus than drive one of these. The other day a guy won some kind of Cube on the Price is Right. I said to myself, I’d trade that in before I got the 1099 from the CBS.
A MIni Cooper is OK, but that other stuff, UGH!
Firebirds and Trans Ams are not Chevrolets!!!
We had Pontiac stuff and Oldsmobile stuff and occasionally turbos and hidden headlights and ram air and better option packages and Firehawks.
If you must hate us for our love of Burt Reynolds, KITT, James Garner, huge scoops, and giant gaudy hood decals, then so be it. But, for the love of God, don’t lump us all in with the Bowtie Brigade.
I will continue too. Even more so now : )
I mourn the demise of the Mercedes design language, and I hate the fact that they pissed their entire heritage down the drain. It’s like seeing your favourite uncle divorced and on a bender, drinking his life away to a slow and certain death. I can’t simply watch it, because it fills me with so much shame.
And I remember when it happened. It was 1997 and the first time I saw a W163 ML-class. It looked cheap, short, and top heavy. It looked like it was stamped with Mercedes design cues and then left to long in the oven, slowly melting away. It looked like a caricature, and I just couldn’t fathom how cheap and flimsy looking it was. I couldn’t for my life understand how they could release such an abomination, or how anybody in their right mind would put Mercedes money on that thing.
For every subsequent launch, it has just gotten worse. I remember when the R129 was launched, and Bruno Sacco told about conservative styling, and how the SL was designed to have a very long shelf life, and how it was made to look good twelve years up in time. And seeing the R230, it has nothing, absolutely nothing, against the R129. The R129 still looks good, it still looks classy, it still looks like a million dollars. Where the R129 looks solid and heavy, like it was chiseled from a single block of finest steel, the R230 looks like it was designed by Koreans and made out of fibreglass by a third party kit car maker on the British islands.
The only glow in the dark was the W219 CLS. That’s what a Mercedes should look like. But they had to screw it up, by making its successor nothing what the CLS was. They had it, and pissed it all away. “I got it, I got it, I got it… I ain’t got it…”
I remember standing behind a W210 E-Class in a stoplight somewhere in the 90’s, and my eyes fell upon its rear end. And I noticed how the gigantic panel gaps in the deck lid made the rear light unalligned. The gap goes between the two parts of the rear light, and the panel gap made them unalligned. “That’s not a Mercedes”, I thought for myself. I couldn’t fathom how such a thing could happen. Panel gaps making the real lights unalligned, it looked simply ridiculous, and it was something unheard of before that. Things like that simply didn’t happen to their cars. “What have they done to you, my friend?” I thought…
Then there are cars like the W245 B-Class. That ain’t a Mercedes. It’s a bus shrunken to look like a shopping cart. Weird creases and swage lines and Mercedes sadly trademarked banana shaped bow. It’s that bow they put on everything, that makes the car look like an inverted banana. The A-Class I can understand, it’s a novelty city car, together with the Smart. People with style will always need a runabout like a Mini or a Toyota (Scion) iQ. But the B-class has absolutely nothing to do in a Mercedes line-up. It’s a sad excuse to compete in the ever so important Golf class in Europe. The problem is that it cheapens the brand, and it should’ve been sub-branded or out-sorced.
Except for the CLS, I can find absolutely nothing Mercedes-like in any of their cars for the last fifteen years. It’s truly a sad sad story.
Thanks for saying that for me. Agree 100%. Except it started earlier for me, with the W210 E-Class. Blobby, dull, and much lower quality compared to the W124 it replaced.
The last truly special and worth they asking price was the W116.
I recently looked at a C Class, $40k for a four banger with a cheap plastic interior.
Yes thank you!
+3 All Mercedes Benzs now have about the approximate quality of an early 1980s Oldsmobile. That’s not saying all that much. Plus, agreed, I remember when the W201 came out and I got in a bad argument with a Cousin three times my age, telling him he didn’t know what real cars were because he thought the new W201 was the cats meow. We keep our distances at Family reunions now.
Maybe the design of them was meant to modernize Mercedes in the eyes of the public, but it looked so soft and out of character compared the the clean lines of everything before it. But the W220 is even a bigger offense in my book.
I do so hate the F bodys. But there are so very many cars to hate, I just have to pick from the list at random. Hmm.. Dodge Caliber! Seriously, WTF is it? It’s like a Igloo cooler on wheels. Now I even see Honda has made their own ridiculous purposeless POS they call the Crosstour. And what is the purpose or point to it? Who the f%^* knows ! What were Chrysler thinking when they schemed up the Caliber? Once again, who the f&^% knows. Even worse, it’s not some little blunder, a speck in an otherwise unpolluted well. No, it’s just one more bad idea with bad execution following after the others. Dodge Stratus, Sebring, Neon, PT Cruiser, Nitro, Prowler, ad infinitum. One can forgive GM for some of it’s mostly garbage because every now and then there is something nice. But I have to ask the question, if not for Dodge trucks, Jeep, and the Caravan, would Chrysler still exist? Of course not since now it’s Fiat/Chrysler. Remember how well that worked out with Renault, or was it Mercedes, oh wait, Cerberus?
Well, now that I got that off my chest I can move on to the Toyota Sequoia, or maybe Subaru B9 Tribeca, or…..
I get the distinct feeling the Caliber may have been part of the Daimler influence, hence it’s looks. I’ve never cared for it either.
Due to the design details, it always had that backward air about it, ie, the design of the entire car is at least 15 years out of date when new.
You are correct. In the 90s, Chrysler had perfected the “platform team” approach to new vehicle development (which it inherited via the AMC purchase) and turned out hit after hit of cars that had gobs of appeal (lets leave long term durability aside, for the moment). A key factor had been that a lot of authority got pushed down to fairly low levels which resulted in better cars and faster decisions. After Daimler took over, its highly centralized and bureaucratic management system took over, and the blew up the whole Chrysler approach. Daimler (which had zero experience developing a small, inexpensive car) pretty much farmed the whole platform development job to Mitsubishi. The Daimler era resulted in some pretty good larger vehicles but absolutely awful smaller ones. The Caliber and the Sebring were both disasters, and would never have been born under the old (pre-Daimler) Chrysler system.
My inner redneck has been craving an f-body for as long as I can remember, but I guess I can understand how the trauma of Volare ownership could create some negative associations. Be strong, brother!
I think the F bodies fell at both ends of the spectrum for me. The 68 firebird with the 350 that continually got 12mpg and the 68 Camaro with the six that got about 25.
I dislike about half the cars I read about here that folks seem to love. If you are fat and overweight with a 455 you are bound to have a fan club. I won’t be there. Ditto on the hummer and anything else that busts my wallet with inefficiency. I parked my 57 because of 13mpg and that’s about right for a 283 pwrglide wagon.
Anyway: Dave C. I love my cube. It reminds me of the first Saturn I owned. No nonsense, utility and mileage. Hate to sound so boring but that’s just me. Old and bald. Love my cars to match. Actually should be riding not driving.
Hate is a strong word for me, but I highly dislike the Honda Crosstour, the Aucra tsx and the BMW x6. all are ugly cynical vehicles. SUV like things that hold even less than a the SUV or CUV. A non practical vehicle masquerading as a practical vehicle.
I agree about the X6. I worked at a BMW dealer around the time it came out and most of us were like, WTF is this thing?!?! Come to think about it, I dislike the X5 and X3, too. Unreliable(X5) poseur-mobiles.
Hmm, I’d have to say PT Cruiser convertible, the only modern car i can recall with a completely exposed roll bar inside the canvas roof. This car makes the VW Thing look svelte. The overwhelmingly overstyled Nissan Juke also pushes my hate button.
The W-Body Olds Cutlass Supreme convertible had one too… not sure if it was actually functional.
I hated on PT Cruisers when they first came out, but now I just kinda feel bad for them. There’s a very specific demographic of older guys who buy PT Cruisers in stupid colors and put dog dish hubcaps or airbrushed flames on them. They buy into the “retro” styling and think to themselves “boy, that cars really got some PEP!” since the last thing they owned was probably one of the last RWD Detroit barges from the mid-80s. Whatever, let them have their fun…
I have driven practically everything that was made between 1975 and 2005 at one time or another and there have been a few stellar pieces de merde that stand out:
Hyundai Stellar
Truly the most horrid, awful car ever foisted on any public. Never available in the USA (lucky for you) but truly a horrid ride. Only the last year had power steering and it was the heaviest wheel I can ever recall. The sold lots of them in Canuckistan because they were cheap and had a full load-except power steering, that is!
Tempo-Topaz
Truly grand levels of crap here. Horribly, poorly designed, badly made and hard to wrench on. Rough, crude, underpowered engine, bad ride, uncomfortable interior.
German Cars
Let the flames begin but there is not a single German make (with the possible exception of Opel) that is not a totally over-priced and over-rated piece of crap. Sure, they drive nice but you are going to spend lots of time making friends with the dealership staff when the car is new. If you are brave enough to keep it one second after the warranty is up, you’ll be held hostage by a guy named Rudy who disappears at 1:30 pm. The German Car Experience (actually a couple them) will be extensively described in next week’s COAL.
Yes, the Tempo/Topaz were complete POS’s. But the real joke is that the Tempo was the best selling car in Canada for a few years in the mid-80’s. Did Ford set a price low enough that Canadians overlooked their total crapitude?
Yes, $9995 with AC.
Mustang. All of them. From the non-existent “64-1/2”, to which ever new arrangement of cam lobes and intake runners is the centerfold of this weeks magazine. Sick to death of them. It started out as a Falcon in drag, and now it’s just a monument to total lack of original thought.
In a similar vein, single-make obsession. I used to subscribe to a really great magazine. Sports Car International. Every month (and later, every second month) a great selection of new and old, fast and slow, pretty and ugly, but always fascinating and eclectic cars. Turns out, the magazine was never profitable, and had been propped up for years by the success of two other of the publisher’s titles: “All Ferrari all the Time”, and “All Porsche all the Time”. Blegh. How boring and narrow-minded do you have to be to be that monotone?
So many I’d name that would just be a repeat of what’s already been said. My general bias is a real trunk(no hatchbacks please), Longitudinal engine RWD or AWD, light gas engine(NA, Turbo, Supercharged, whatever) with decent power and decent mileage, comfortable inside but still good looking outside, less than 4000lbs(preferably WAY less but that’s a difficult proposition today), capable handling, and easy and inexpensive to repair for the long haul.
CUVs, SUVs, Minivans are the obvious ones I hate just because style, performance, and MPG is all sacrificed to move overly promiscuous families. Plus they make the streets very unattractive, are virtually impossible to see around in traffic(especially since they all seem to have factory tinted windows) and the gunslit window/high beltline look on newer cars is in part the fault of SUV side impact issues. They’re so bad they’ve made regular cars bad. I’ll namedrop the Acura MDX since my mirror is stained with that fascia they tailgate so much. Though that’s an issue that crosses more with my next catagory…
Cars tainted by their owners smugness to the point where any possible qualities are rendered moot. The Prius of course with its smug “we’re doing our part for mother earth” jive. Virtually any BMW. Particularly the 2002 and E30 series since they’re apparently the only good handling cars ever made according to magazines. Virtually any Mercedes since I find them about as exciting as Volvo but with less charm. Of course F bodies and Mustangs since they’re pretty much the standard high school jock go to.
There’s also cars I hate because all they are are tarted up standard models. That encapsulates the faux exclusivity of the Broughams or the GraTuitous use of the GT(or any sport) badge. I can generally find more strong points to the basic models these are based on.
There are several other cars/classes I love to hate as well but the ones I really have a personal vendetta against have little to do with it’s owners, their impracticality, reliability, greenness, non-greenness, bad MPG, power, lack of power, style over substance, substance over style, 4 doors, 2 doors… No. It’s the knock offs. The first Gen Camaros, the entire Hyundai line to date, plagiarized Chinese death traps are some of the most specific names I’d drop. Sometimes these models/makes can of course come into their own but I still have little to no respect for them.
I have nothing to add but some Klockau Bait: I don’t like old Volvos. 🙂
Laurence’s comment on Accords sums it up:
“1990-2002 Honda Accords, because they’re annoyingly good at being a fun appliance. Like that straight A student that gets into Harvard and is actually a nice person, you want something bad to happen to them, but it never does.”
That was how I felt about Volvos as a dopey teenager. The things must have come free with every LL Bean purchase. I’d look at them from my lame but trusty Horizon and think, you could afford a Saab or a Benz or two Mazdas or even a big ol’ sloppy, happy Town Car, and you bought a filing cabinet on wheels?
This is totally irrational, and I hope Tom can forgive me. Let the healing begin!
Alan,
Not even one of these?
Dodge Nitro and Caliber. Especially the Nitro. Horrid, horrid styling.
I loathe the Nitro…the name calls to mind some ‘roided-out American Gladiator, or an explosion, or the stuff my grandfather takes when his chest hurts…don’t get me started on how it drives!
How about the Chrysler Plastique? Dodge ANFO? Ram MOAB?
I Have always hated my memory of driving The Roller Skate – tin box 1981 Chevette my first time in LA… getting lost in that Thing…not good in canyon passes either, especially on windy days. dark nights.
SkyHawk , Firenza, Firehawk, Monza coupes/hathbacks are pieces of crap imo.
hyundai excel. scoupe,
the 4100 and northstar engines that killed their host cars – cadillac.
Syke beat me to it, but I’ve never liked the US paradigm of the traditional 4 door sedan, that is, with V8, bench seat, column mounted automatic shifter. The same often went for the 2 doors too, Heck, outside of the B segment subcompacts, most US cars had bench seats until the last decade or so when finally, the bench seat became passe.
True, a few cars still offer a bench seat with column shifter, but they appear to be optional these days instead of being defacto as in the past.
I’m also in agreement on the Hummer and even spotted one, an H2 that was jacked way up and it’s frame rails were almost as high as my former Ford Ranger, which then made an already huge monstrosity just that much more hideous and ostentatious.
Not been much of a Ford fan since the late 70’s, their styling cues weren’t much to write home about for many models and at least on their lower end cars, things like interior door handles, the column shifter etc all felt to have been mounted to rubber bushings and the cars just didn’t have any character. Now, I’m not a fan of SUV’s/CUV’s either, but did like the early Explorers for their actual practical design when I witnessed a new love seat fitting neatly inside of one when they were brand new in 1991.
As to the F bodies, never been a fan of these as they’ve never been me but I do appreciate their general design with some of them. I like the 70-73 Camaro, the 78-80 Camaros (these still look fairly fresh, even today in near new stock condition) and the 76-78 split grill soft nosed Firebird/TA the best of all of Firebirds built.
Otherwise, i don’t have vitriol hate for any one thing in particular but some makes I like more than others and some of those that I have a disdain for often stem from who buys/drives them as a general rule.
The 2007 Chrysler Sebring. Ugly from the front, absolutely hiddeous looking from the rear. A styling abomination. I know every reader of any car blog has already heard enough criticism and derision of this car, but I’m still not over it. I drove one once, didn’t have time to find out what was under the hood, but judging by its annoying buzzy nature I’m guessing the four cylinder. I was also distracted by the nagging need to pick at the leftover flash on the cheapo plastic trim everywhere.
I’m also right there with the others who have mentioned the Accords of the last 15 years or so. They’re just… a car. A generic sedan, for people who don’t like cars; much like pop music is for people who say, “I’m not a big fan of music in general.” Ugh.
I’ll put up two hates, one general and one specific:
First any cool or sporty small car with an automatic. RX7, Supra, VW Beetle (though the Auto-Stick is technically interesting I still hate the application), Miata, Ricer Civics, BMWs, even Mustangs and Novas should have a 4-speed. Can’t count the number of times I’ve walked up to a car and gone “Hey nice car, uuhhhh it’s an automatic…”
I hate 1979 Mustangs. Way back in highschool in 1983 one of my classmates announced that he had been given a Mustang. There was general approval and jealousy among the boys, including me. While they talked I drifted off into visions of a guy in our neighborhood who had a black 68 Fastback with Cragars, a V8/4 speed, his gorgeous poofy haired 80s girl in the passenger seat as he rumbled down the street. THAT was what I wanted someday, a Mustang. I was yanked back to reality when I heard “It’s a 1979”. What?? That’s not a Mustang!! We all trooped outside to look at the silver blue V6/Auto car with hubcaps and whitewalls. There was still widespread approval and jealousy among the boys, but I felt only revulsion…
I had a whole long thing typed up about the Dodge Caliber, but I re-read it before hitting “Post Comment” and it was just too much hate. Too much… let me just simplify it down to: it’s a very bad car. I rented one once, it was electric blue. There was a bit about the Dodge Neon and it’s dominance in SCCA Solo in the late 90s and how the Caliber looks like a Ram 4-door hatchback and the awful CVT transmission and motor that sounds like a washing machine full of tiny rocks… fill in the blanks, I guess!
Uch… I’m gonna stop right here – I just had another paragraph written about Corvettes and it was downright evil. Let’s make that my whole list, cuz there are a dozen others I could go on about: Dodge Caliber and C4+ Corvette.
The final generation Pontiac Grand Am. Sure, the brand is gone now, but so many of these are still on the road that we’ll be looking at them for many years to come. Urban hole-in-the-wall used car lots are full of them, the car of choice for tramp-stamped 23-year old single mothers with five kids. This is the car that screams “white trash”.
Late to the party but startled that nobody’s mentioned the Porsche Cayanne yet. That’d be top of my list. Hugely offensive cars in every way imaginable. I have the exact same kind of visceral reaction to seeing them as JP is talking about with the F Bodies (which weren’t a feature of the landscape here so I don’t really mind them)
Grossly ostentatious and sacrilegious.
Dodge Challengers – all years. The originals were bloated and ugly, and the remake is slab-sided, bloated and ugly. Why anyone would buy one over a mustang or camaro is beyond me. Of course the whole dodge/ford/chevy fanhood/war-talk is ridiculous. But, I’m 33 and so I had the pleasure of growing up during the Big-3’s glory days of the 80’s and 90’s. 🙂
Smart car hater. The name is my most liked feature of this joke — only because it’s such an oxymoron. But they almost don’t even count as cars so I focus my bile on the following.
I don’t know how Nissan could make vehicles any uglier than the terdlike Murano. It’s just beyond disgusting with its gremlin inspired side window treatment, bubble/slash tailights, bulbous proportions. The Infiniti version is about as bad.
I hate even looking at any new Nissan* — their ‘styling’ repulses me — they all look like jellybeans — from the Sentra to the Z to the Maxima — they’re ugly…no, they’re fugly. Check the trunklid out on a new Maxima if you can even call it a trunklid. Stupid! I gag as I see rows of these terds in the parking garage.
I’m a NIssan Truck hater too. From the chromish junk on the front to the ugly black patch on the tailgates…blecch.
*Cube excluded. No love for the Scion xB but the Cube somehow does it for me.
Addendum:
I think the newest Toyota Solara convertible has got to be the ugliest convertible ever contrived. The stupid taillights that almost reach the rear doors are particularly offensive. If the beltline was any higher you could fill it with water like the PT Cruiser convertible & have 2 bathtubs on wheels.
I hate seeing half-ton pickups being used as commuter cars. This is only surpassed by the white trash, jacked-up, 6″ stacks, fake beadlock wheels, muddin’ tire, diesel soot, short box, Calvin urinating sticker, stereo booming, stoplight racer D-bag pickups that populate my town.