CC Capsule: 2020 Mercedes-Maybach V-Class (W447) – Brougham Cubed

I don’t keep up with the gossip columns and the society pages, so this one kind of took me by surprise. I’ve seen a few Maybached S-Class saloons and limos, and I’d heard about the GLS version, but a Maybach van? What kind of a coked-up superstar / Middle-Eastern prince / post-Soviet oligarch wet dream is this?

This particular Maybach is not exactly a production model. There are many types of high-rolling V-Class vans, but they’re usually not sporting the full-on Maybach regalia. The two-tone paintwork. The gaudy grille. The hood ornament. The huge chromed rims.

It even has an extra Maybach emblem on the D-pillars for good measure. But in the end, the brightwork can all be tacked on by any semi-competent custom car shop. It’s just a matter of getting a hold of the relevant bits of bling, which cannot be that difficult.

But on the other hand, if it were that easy, would there not be more of these around? The external bits and bobs are one thing. But I bet the real money’s inside, in that rear compartment. And there was no telling what that looked like from the outside…

What this is, essentially, is a very nicely appointed leather-upholstered living room on four wheels. There are a few similar vehicles online, so this is not a complete one-off. The typical seating arrangement is a four-chair type of deal, usually facing each other with a table – perfect for tea and a few rubbers of bridge on the go. That’s what the kids are keen on these days, I’m told.

Prices quoted on the Internets for something similar to our feature van hover between US$250,000-400,000. And you thought G-Wagen prices were nuts. I wonder why nobody has Maybached a G-Wagen, by the way. Probably shouldn’t write stuff like that, it might become true. Ah, who am I kidding, it probably already exists.

So this is a hard, long sneering guffaw from me about this vaingloriously vajazzled V-Class. Nothing wrong with getting a seriously pimped-out Benz van with all mod cons (and more) inside, but the vulgarity of the Maybach add-ons is just a tad nouveau-riche for my palate.