James age 12 Shafer Middle School
Mr. LaHood room 207
When Mr. Niedermeyer found out we were going to Mars, he said we could stay at his condo. Dad was happy because this year, there was a close approach to Mars right when he got vacation. They happen every 26 months. Mars was only 57.6 million miles away. He wanted to go there to pick up a truck he boght on ebay.
The truck is very rare and has papers saying it was the only Terraplane truck on Mars. Dad says it is cool because it has pateena. Dad likes old cars with pateena which is like rust with no holes. Everything is rusty on Mars. Dad thinks its funny to have a Terraplane on Mars because Terra means Earth ha ha. He wants to call it The Marsaplane like Mars and Terraplane put together ha ha ha. Dad says thats funny on many levels. Mom thinks thats a lot of work just for one dumb joke.
We borrowed the Cavanaugh’s DeSoto because it has a trailer hitch. They use it to take their submarine to Saturn. We stoped at the moon to get a Uhaul Trailer. The dealer was called Carr’s Rental Trucks (ha ha), in the Sea of Tranquility, next to the Apollo Museum. Dad says it saved us 500,000 miles off the rental over bringing it from Earth. He promised us a treat with the savings if we were good and didn’t fight. We didn’t fight all the way to Mars, and he boght us all ice cream when we got there. An ice cream cone costs 7.50 Earthoes on Mars. They don’t have to use frezers but milk is not cheep. That is $574.37. I got sprinkles on my cone.
C+. Very interesting theme. Some unnecessary details. Punctuation! Spellcheck? – T. L
PS: Please tell your Father I would like to know if I can see the truck.
Very cool!! Love the kid spelling!!
What a wonderful name for a middle school!
Since your dad only gets a vacation every 26 months, it’s good to see he is making good use of it.
Just one question: When you ate the ice cream, did you impress the local young girls with how you could take a Terabyte?
Ha ha Mr. Shafer! The girls kind of ignore me when I show how gud I can eat maybe because Mom has to buy me cloths in the Husky Department. That’s calld eyerrnee.
Mars Girls are ez!
Great stuff ! .
Both article and the photography .
-Nate
What in the world was THAT all about?
I read & re-read 3 times and still don’t get it. I must be getting old… Is that a tumor on the kid’s forehead?
Nah, you aren’t getting old. You just got something here that was different from what you tuned in for.
The kid has his face pressed against the glass. Maybe it needs a gradated reflection to make that work better. My bad if it doesn’t translate.
This was the kind of road trip story some have about going off for collector car with Dad, but done as if Rod Serling wrote it on a day he wasn’t in a serious mood.
That’s a great essay, and don’t feel too bad about the C+. Mr. LaHood loves to nit-pick spelling and grammar mistakes! Do you have any more of those bumper stickers?
He abhors semi-colons; alas, they are still popular.
Tough on me. I need the semi-colon to construct my winking avatar. I am a chunky bald guy with a stache and goatee: (;^{D}
They are popular still.
All right, Jimmy, what happened to that tray of “special” brownies I was saving? Yes…right, it’s your weight I’m worried about…ahem.
I’m glad you managed to get the Marsaplane back home so quickly; it’s a good thing the Cavanaugh’s DeSoto has Planetary Overdrive; or does it have the rarer Intersellar Overdrive?
But James, next time you stay at our condo, (If there is a next time), please pick up after yourself a bit better. It was a wee bit messy, and there were ice cream cone crumbs and sprinkles in the bed. And you got into my stash of Marsapan, I see.
Joy-Joys mit Iodine?
Gee Mr. Niedermeyer I’m sorry. Mom says I’m just like Dad. It gets pretty crunchy on the floors around our house when its ice cream and potato chip time around 8 oclock at nite. She was mad at me to becaus I left a Transformer under Mr. Cavanaugh’s seat and it slid under his break pedel. He almost droved into the back of a tractor trayler one of the ones that say “A. Duie Pyle” (A. Duie Pyle ha ha).
Um…how many alcoholic beverages were consumed in the production of this epic post? ‘cos reading it (thrice) made me feel like I’d consumed a very large quantity…!
Very nice! That shot of the Terraplane looks like a Chris Van Allsburg drawing.
Nice to be mentioned in the same sentence as Chris! One can get some small amount of his “atmosphere” by treating photos with combinations of Photoshop filters. He’s the real thing, though and does it the hard way!
I would think you’d make better time if you drove an Oldsmobile 88 to Mars because it has a Rocket engine.
+1
True, but then you wouldn’t have time to stop and smell the asteroids on the way.
Oddly enough, the first thing I thought reading this was “U-Haul doesn’t charge for mileage on trailers!
I’ve rented them a few times to pick up eBay merchandise from auctions a couple hours away from me – way cheaper than renting a truck for the distance because I don’t have to pay for mileage.
Clever!
Would the Dodge Ares be the official vehicle of Mars?
Three times you have sent me “Automotive Alter-History: X-Ray Specs – AMC Spins a Tale of the Tape” and still I get ” ERROR 404 NOT FOUND even though your home page tells me there’s 13 comments….
-Nate
Late reply, Nate. My bad. I sent it out 3 times when I was supposed to submit it for approval. Newbie author mistake. I’ve learned my lesson, and that won’t happen again. Cheers.
O.K. Barko ! .
In any case I rather enjoyed this different article .
-Nate