Howdy, partner, welcome to the As-Is Used Car Corral. Mosey on up and take a gander. You know you need transportation and we have it. There’s more variety than you can tote in a five-gallon bucket.
So can I interest you in a 1992 Corvette, the car that is as American as apple pie because, hey, it’s a Chevrolet? Or maybe you want something a little more exotic and sleeker, like this 1999 Porsche convertible? Both are babe-magnets like no other. You can’t go wrong with either of these two.
Or maybe you need to haul the unintended outcome of hooking up with that babe. If so, this Ford Windstar minivan is just the meal ticket. We can easily make you a package deal. A wise fellow always plans ahead, or at least has a contingency plan.
Since those likely aren’t everyone’s chicken gravy, let’s look elsewhere on our lot. If you want to be more dignified than some topless German, feast your eyes on this fully-dressed Englishman. That’s right a 2002 Jag-you-war in resale silver. That Jag is pure poetry in motion. This is almost like a tuxedo on wheels.
If you want to multitask, try this 2008 Ford F-250. Ignore all that incessant “monster truck” hogwash; this darlin’ will still be running long after the passenger cars we’ve seen so far have been recycled into dishwashers. With it’s ability to pull nearly anything that needs to be pulled, you’ll rest easier at night having this 3/4 ton Ford parked in your driveway.
Lastly, if that Windstar is not enough, let me introduce you to this 1994 Ford Econoline van. With it being one of them-there conversion vans, it likely has a bed in the back. Well, maybe that’s not a good idea if you don’t know why those babies keep happening but at least you can haul something with it. It just won’t be much unless you tie it down as having loose crap fly at your head when you stop fast is zero fun.
But this Econoline does have a 351 V8, so it’s a fantastic tugboat.
Oh, I almost forgot….I have my loaner car for sale, too. It’s three years old with only 55,000 miles. What tickles your fancy?
If that used cop car only has 55K on it, I’ll pick that one please.
Don’t these things go on for like, 500,000 miles or more?
Well, if you’re a cabby or a cop with full and free all the time maintenance at your disposal, anyway. ;o)
If that used cop car only has 55K on it, I’ll have some pointed questions about how many miles are on the lot owner’s electric drill.
Well played, but by the time that cop car was made, didn’t they have electronic odometers?
Sure, but the point stands despite my artistic licence. Odometer “repair” services are all over eBay and the rest of the internet.
What is interesting is none of these have a colour to them – all whites and silvers. I guess the Econoline has some stripes.
Given the IMS issues I am not sure I’d want to be a Boxster owner from that era.
The Windstar is a big no for me. Rusty rear subframes, 3.8L head gaskets and fragile gearboxes. Ugh.
Corvette have some expensive tires and not super practical in the winter.
I have no need for a big truck or conversion van.
The Crown Vic is the logical and reasonable choice which is why I’d pick the Vette.
Isn’t that a 911, not a Boxster? I’d pick the Crown Vic or the F250. I haven’t owned a Ford since 1995.
You are right. The shared front end threw me off. A drop top 911 has never really looked “right” to me.
That 911 is actually sporting the bumper and lights from a 2002 or newer 911 so it’s had some work done to It. The older ones did have the same exact front as the Boxster but not this one.
The IMS issue can be resolved fairly simply and is no longer a reason to avoid the Boxster or 911.
The two holes in the Crown Vic front bumper makes me suspicious.
Does it have the Interceptor suspension and V8??
I just might be interested!!!😲😲😲
Bumper holes are probably for those massive push-bars cop-cars usually have, even if it’s unmarked like this one seems to be.
But it would be a hard-pass on everything back in this ‘as-is’ section, for me.
PANTHER. Reliable, versatile, capable, comfortable, affordable. Which is why I already own one.
Too bad the Windstar is a base model and not a limited… I guess I’ll take the 911 as long as it’s stick 🙂
I’ll take the truck. But by default.
Nothing sends chills up my spine like the thought of an as-is Porsche, Jaguar or Corvette.
Nothing creeps me out like a used conversion van sitting at the back of a car lot.
I’d be lucky if the Windstar transmission makes it to the other side of town after it’s bought.
And based on my recent Crown Vic experience, I’d have to politely decline this one. I wonder if its windshield wipers randomly turn on and its doors randomly unlock like mine did? Or whether it has that dreaded blend-door HVAC issue. No thanks.
So, that leaves the truck. Which I’d actually kind of like…
That Porsche 996 has a poorly fixed front-end damage.
Hood doesn’t even close accurately.
Of course I’d take the Crown Vic. Because it is one of my fav US cars.
The F-250 since I need a truck more than a Porsche
Same here. I want to own a Porsche again, but in all honesty I need a heavy-duty truck for chores at the hobby farm.
On the other hand, I’ve heard and read that those S-Types aren’t that difficult or expensive to keep running, given their considerable amount of Ford parts and DNA.
I could sit here and tell you that I’d pick that cop Crown Vic, and I’d love to have it, but not over a fucking 996.
996 all day followed by the C4.
Given how I’m a fan of unusual, unpopular, and sometimes downright strange cars, there is only one acceptable choice in here that I would buy quicker than a $5.00 heifer. The Jag S-Type! One of the only cars in the world that is unusual, relatively modern, cheap to buy, and whose fanbase isn’t more stoic than a Soviet apartment building.
I would think twice on your “unusual” choice Jake. My aunt had a 2002 s-type when she died in 2013. My cousin inherited it with 35,000m on it and thought he’d hit the jackpot. 4 years and 65,000m later he needed a jackpot win having run up $14,000 in repair bills during that time.
Me, as much as I hate to admit it I’d probably got with the Windstar. A van would be practical for me. I’d thought of the Econoline til someone questioned buying a well used conversion van without a hazmat suit.
Maybe Jake is figuring on a quick flip to parlay into a few good Studebakers. 🙂
i’ll take the vette!!
Yikes. Im left cold by pretty much everything, the Porsche is the only thing moving the needle. BUT, greyscale, ragtop and obviously pre-wrecked is a whole lotta nope.
That S-10 next to the Jag wasn’t mentioned. It’s that ugly greige color that I despise but lemme indulge my hopeless optimism a bit: maybe just maybe it’s got the ZR-2 package and it’s either a 2-door Blazer or single cab pickup. Most likely it’s a 4-door blazer or extracab pickup but I can dream, right?
Gee, your last two sort of re-enact my garage at a point in time a few years ago.
The first picture – HAYLE no. When a Corvette is the practical choice you know there is a problem. I would also take a pass on Sargent Vic – I experienced a few of the problems of Eric 703 plus about four window regulators. If I get another Panther it will be a Town Car.
That leaves the two Ford trucks at the back. The pickup would be a good one, but the van is intriguing. I am getting to the age where a cushy highway cruiser is just the thing. And having owned a 94 with a 351 I can attest that it is a mighty pleasant drive. The wheels intrigue me, those are 95-96 wheels that have the center cap – 94 wheels have holes for the lugs. Maybe I will get lucky and will get a van newer than everyone else thinks it is! Besides, I keep trying to think of ways to be more like Jason, and this one should do that job exceptionally well. 🙂
Hmm, my garage also contained two of these at one time. And, during that period, I also had a 3/4 ton pickup but it was a Dodge. Are we trying to be more like each other???
I noticed the wheels on the Econoline – identical to those on my 2000.
It would have to be the F-250 because, F-250. Except if it is one with the 6.0 diesel.
NOW you tell me about the Crown Vic window regulators! 🙂 The one I drive at work dropped the driver’s glass into the door about a week ago, and from what you say the others may not be far behind. At least it wasn’t raining that day.
As for the other cars on offer, call me a glutton for punishment, but I’ll take the Corvette.
The van is cushy for the passengers, maybe, but I always found the footwells of Econolines and other vans kind of claustrophobic.
The Vette tickles me a bit, but I’m gonna go with the F-250. I’d give the Crown Vic a serious consideration, but only if it was a consumer model, which it isn’t; never cared for the ex-cop car vibe. I don’t know why, but I don’t care for a convertible Porsche. Last on my list would be the conversion van. Nope. But I’d gladly drive an un-molested cargo van.
Depending on how cheap the Windstar is I might go with that since it has an automatic, a reasonably comfortable ride, more than one air bag, and plenty of room for bicycles. My current car is a stick shift and cannot carry bicycles so easily plus it is nice just to let the gear shift themselves sometimes. The Econoline could work though it is overkill for me.
You know how they say there is no such thing as a cheap old Mercedes? There is also no such thing as a cheap old Windstar.
Good point! I found a Windstar for a grand, however it needed four tires.
At this point, I’m surprised that there is such a thing as a Ford Windstar still in existence. They’ve disappeared around here – for obvious reasons.
You’ll need the bicycles if you pick the windbag. Glass transmission behind a head gasket eating motor backed up by a breakaway rear axle.
I’ll take the jaaag,
Today I am in torrean Mexico, I must have seen a dozen windstar today
Too bad my cell camera isn’t good 😣
Well, sheee-it, pardner. These mangy whips all look like they’re a’ waitin’ to kick you in the head the moment you walk behind ’em.
20-year old Porsche on the back lot of the OK Car Corral? F* no. Sorry for the français, pardner.
20-year old Windstar? Why put up with garbage if it isn’t at least interesting?
92 Corvette? As a child of the 80s/90s I’m a bit interested here. But I’ve no use for it and am unsure if it is good enough to put up with the issues inherent in a 27-year old car.
Don’t want or need an Econoline of any flavor.
I like the F250, I just drove a modern version with the 6.7L today. I don’t need a tow rig though, and the long-term maintenance of an emissions-compliant 6.4 Powerstroke scares me. So regrettably, no.
That leaves the two cats. One is lithe and nimble, the other is a fat lumbering oaf regardless of what they named the platform. I’d want to drive the Jaguar far, far more, but I like the relative dependability of the Crown Vic. I’m assuming I’m on a tight budget if I’m shopping this lot, so the slow thirsty ancient poorly-packaged Ford car-truck chimera it is.
The 996 killed the 911 to me, water cooling, larger body ugly headlights, no thanks.
Windstar is a piece of headgasket munching garbage. And I don’t like minivans.
F150 is probably a triton 3V and has the worst spark plug design in history
Corvette has optispark and this styling refresh gave the C4 a bubble butt
Jaguar is out of warranty, no freakin way.
Conversion van, no. I’m not buying a used van without wearing a hazmat suit and a lot of Ajax nearby. If it’s cheap enough it would be my pick just so I can liberate the 351 with a sawzall.
Crown Vic wins.
Does that Mini Cooper in the background have a clutch pedal? I’ll consider it, but only if it does. Same for the Saturn SL next to it.
I love how the cars are lined up, with the corral fencing in the background, and the Old West Playbill-style font in the signage. It reminds me of those old Cal Worthington style used car tv ads.
Crown Vic I guess. But there’s very little enthusiasm there and the cons of each option vastly outweigh the pros…Maybe he’d do an 84 or 96month loan on something from the front lot? The pickings look slightly better out there from the peek that’s visible.
Panther perfection.
No contest.
I love C4 Corvettes. This wouldn’t be a daily driver for me, so if it wasn’t mechancally perfect, no problem. Besides, with all of the plug and play stuff for SBCs (and GMs in general), I could have infinite fun with it.
I’d like to know more about a fairly solid-looking 4×4 S10 on the margin there.
The nice thing about those is, it doesn’t matter if they’re as-is, they all have some problems so who cares! Just throw rocks at it until it’s fixed!
What’s that on the very left in the second pic? A S-10?
I’d be interested in it, especially with the 4.3 V-6 and 5 speed.
Otherwise it would be the F-250 for the resale and maybe getting a slide-in camper.
At this point, finding a Ford Windstar in running condition is similar to finding a Chevrolet Vega in running condition circa 1990. I’d still pass.
An aging Porsche with sketchy body work? No thanks.
I’d try my luck with the Corvette, as long as there is no evidence of body or frame damage. The local Corvette club could help me keep it running if there are any mechanical issues.
After zooming in the 1st image, there appears to be a newer Windstar next to the white one; an ’01-’03 SE Sport if I’m correct. The white one’s front end would make it a ’98. Being that white vehicles run in my family, I would choose the ’98 & also b/c the original van fared better in IIHS crash tests than the 2nd-generation model. I still prefer the Aerostar, but IF the Windstar had the 3.0L Vulcan V6 instead of the troublesome 3.8L Essex I would give it fair consideration–you’re not going to be able to pull a big trailer anyway. THAT job would be much better served by the (also white) F-250 & Econoline, but I don’t need diesel expenses or a fuel hog either. I bet it would be comfy in that Econoline though… 🙂
Sports cars are impractical for my uses (Corvette), and I’m taking note of the advice to avoid used import brands (Porsche, Jaguar). So that would leave the S-10 or the Crown Vic Police Interceptor (it’s an ex-cop car right?). The S-10 appears to be a 4×4 with the tow hooks & tall tires, excellent for serious off-road treks I would only do once or twice a year. The Crown Vic CAN be made into a formidable tow rig with the right setup, plus I get to scare the crap out of would-be racers with the Police Interceptor badge on the trunk and a 140-mph speedometer while still being able to haul 4 other friends & their luggage–ALL from a plain-looking old-school sedan with plenty of life still in it!
F-250 is the one that fits in the family fleet. The only passenger car likely to have a manual trans is the Porsche. No thanks.
“That Windstar’s gone you say? It;’ll have to be the Jaguar then, but I’ll try the Porsche anyway”
Hard pressed to choose something out of this lot, being that there are no Mopars, but I’d settle for the F250 even though I would much prefer a Ram 2500 CTD (which, in actuality, I own, but for the sake of example…).
I’d buy the Porsche for my import-loving wife — and because she is da babe — she’d have to pay for the repairs though :-).
The Jag. But it seems your holding out some cars. I see a number of cars in a row in the background in the last picture