I am still angry about this one. In 2022, rather than import a slightly larger, more powerful car to serve in family duty, I decided to buy a car already in America with the idea that I could get it locally serviced. Because it would be for me, I would buy the kind of car I had always wanted –an excessively powerful luxury sedan, which ended up being a 2003 BMW 760Li. Instead of what I envisioned, what I got was the single-worst automotive experience of my life.
A brief search led me to an eBay listing for the car I would soon purchase. It was beautiful, and per the listing, it needed nothing. It had the 6.0 liter V12, mated to a 6-speed automatic. There was a fridge in the back seat, and roof-mounted AC controls for rear passengers (who could also control the rear seat position). The seats all had ventilation, and the front seats would massage you. Obviously, I was hooked. I made an offer and it was quickly accepted.
The seller was located on the southern end of Illinois, so I flew out with a friend to drive the car back to New Mexico. The plan was to drive back in a straight shot overnight, relying on the 6.0 V12 and my Valentine V1 radar to keep us moving fast. While I do not know how this plan might have worked in practice, I know I never got the opportunity to try it. Despite a clean scan and very nice manners around town, the car was junk. While it was advertised as “needing nothing,” it actually needed a transmission. Fourth through sixth gears were gone. I texted the seller, who denied all knowledge.
What should have been an overnight drive turned into a day and a half of tedious, cautious driving at about 70 MPH. We limped into a little town called Liberal, Kansas around 3:00 a.m. and spent the night at a decent hotel, leaving the next morning. We managed to make our way back to Santa Fe the next day, at which point I left the car with Santa Fe BMW, who confirmed after a month that the car needed just about everything.
For the next six months, I would spend thousands of dollars trying to fix this turd. It took me four months to find somebody who would touch the transmission in the car. Once that was fixed, the alternator failed and took the starter with it. Then the A/C compressor failed, and that revealed serious problems elsewhere in the A/C lines, necessitating the disassembly of the interior.
Once all that was done, it was a wonderful car for the five minutes it worked. It was fast, comfortable, and it handled decently. Unfortunately, the engine failed without warning, and I ended up selling the car to the repair shop for the sum of one dollar. I never collected the dollar, and I would not feel right taking it.
The only reason this car is worth mentioning is the lawsuit that I filed against the seller, and the life lesson I learned. Specifically, I learned to research the people I do business with. Had I researched this crook, I would have learned that he had gone bankrupt before; that he was liquidating all the businesses in the community he claimed viewed him as a respected businessman; that he had resigned suddenly from a hospital’s board of directors without explanation within the preceding six months; and that he had just incorporated a new business in Florida. All of this indicated he was getting ready to flee a community that he claimed to be a pillar of.
Had I called any of his businesses, I would have learned the negative opinions his community had of him. All of this came out in discovery. I settled for a refund that would bring my purchase price to the scrap value of the car, and I left him to his business. In writing this, I find he is being sued in Florida by an industrial coatings company. I’m glad to be rid of him, and I am glad to be rid of the 760Li.
So I guess when someone suggests ALWAYS test drive and inspect a car before you buy it, they’re right! Right?
Nice front license plate! I assume digitally added?
It was actually a gift from my dad. It’s available on Amazon. A guy I knew in law school had one on his car. He’s a magistrate judge now.
I had a few customers like that when I had my boat repair business. Claim to and act like they have money, but don’t have a pot to piss in. Being sued by everybody. I had to sue one once to get my money. Phony as a three dollar bill. These types need to be in Hotel Graybar.
So much of life is based upon trust, and upon we’d commonly call “decency”. (I know it’s loaded term, ie: it was once decent to “help” slaves by keeping them from perdition or thereabouts, but you all know what I mean. I hope). Think about it, a $10 note, worth perhaps 0.005 cents, is no more than a representation that that’s worth what it says, as is a cheque (remember those?): or, in our current times, a movement of numbers on a screen representing money on a screen from my account to yours. It’s rather remarkable that so much of most ordinary interactions are based upon an agreed trust, or decency.
Those who see the weakness in this – freed, it would seem, from any sort of morality – are prepared always to look for the gap in any system that relies upon trust, and to dive in. Worse, it can work for them, and they can rise high, even to the point of being rulers.
I am immensely glad you at least got back to where you were before engaging with one such. All power to you for your (no doubt enervating) persistence.
I live in the Dominican Republic. There’s a same generation 760 slowly decaying in a side yard in my neighborhood. I peaked in a broken window and the beige leather was covered with black mildew and all the wood had delaminated, the metal controls oxidized and plastics cracked. I wonder how and why somebody would dare to import one here.There are BMW dealers but I imagine little support for one of these.
He’ll run for governor here in FLA… and win.
Are these the ones with the head gasket that goes bad in spectacular fashion? I used to see tons of them on the used car lots around here.
Two of a kind… a BMW 7-series and your seller.
One of my uncles had a BMW 7-series. He was almost always seen riding with his wife who was driving her Lexus. He enjoyed driving but when I asked him why he always seemed to be riding with his wife, he replied, “BMW’s broken. Again.” It had never-ending electrical gremlins which often came back from the BMW dealership after several days, still broken. When the transmission started acting up, one of the technicians had a comment like, “At least you don’t drive it enough for the engine problems to show up.” Legal action got BMW to terminate the lease early and he got a Dodge Charger.
A good cautionary tale of woe but one I’ve repeated so many times I lost count .
In the end a thing that looks like “just what I want” will always sell easily and I can attest to the folly as I invariably wind up fixing all those broken things I should have paid closer attention to when looking it over pre purchase .
These days I try to only buy at scrap price because I know where it’s going to lead but the last Motocycle I bought in Feb. 2024 I paid too much and am now paying the price, it’s now a reliable and good rider but the cosmetics will take longer and ever more $ to sort out .
CAVEAT EMPTOR, always .
-Nate
With older cars, I have a bad habit of seeing what is supposed to be there instead of what is actually there. That said, I think you have demonstrated an example of the reason people make jokes about the reliability of expensive European cars once they start getting old.
“there is nothing more expensive than a cheap German luxury car” has been a byword of modern car sites I follow for years. Unless you have the resources and skills of somebody like Eric from the I Do Cars YouTube channel an early 2000s 7 Series or S class will be a money pit. (he owns a salvage parts business, a BMW diagnostic computer and a two post lift in his house)
The only 7 series I’d touch is an E23 from the 80s before computer everything and rodent food wiring harnesses.
I ran into the mini version with our Fiat 500, while we knew about the thermostat and trunk release up front it was several months before I realized some hamfisted drongo had broken the heater temperature control and I had to disassemble the whole dash to replace the heater control panel. It could be worse, that car is so tightly packed that you have to remove the doors to change the heater core.
In my experience, these big panzers are just a heartbreak looking for a place to happen.
In the early 2000s the company I worked for experienced rapid growth and profitabilty. We were an employee owned company, with quarterly share payouts that in many cases exceeded salaries so it was bonanza time. Our CFO, normally a most careful and prudent man, purchased one of these just off lease, so maybe 3 years old. It very quickly proceeded to behave in almost exactly the same manner as yours, with the added benefit of suspension and steering problems. and water leaking into the cabin, and, and, and…
All this in a car that had been dealer maintained since new. He replaced it with an Acura in less than a year, and we ended up including it with a batch of used construction equipment that went to auction, since the Acura dealer politely but firmly said no thanks to a trade in. I don’t recall what it fetched but it wasn’t much.
I wonder if it made it’s way to southern Illinois lol?
A co-worker, of mine, who was a commercial regional driver for our tank haul company offered me his 7 series of similar vintage last year. So glad I resisted the the tempation
I have bought numerous used cars in my past, and with one Rabbit Diesel I learned my lesson. I bought it from another dealer, who swore up and down it was the best Rabbit Diesel he had ever seen. Like the featured car, I bought it without an inspection. It turned out that the car was such a rustbucket that the rear suspension actually separated from the rest of car. The motor was good and I sold it for scrap.
I am not much of a BMW fan. Sure, they are lovely when they are new but right after warranty, watch out! They are designed to be leased on a three year term and they don’t remotely car what the second or third buyers will experience. BMW has done an amazing job building their brand.
A BMW, lot’s of doodad’s, and eBay. What could go wrong?
I bought a ’96 7 series back about 20 years ago – had it for a couple of years, it was pretty reliable but anything that did need fixed was damned expensive. I punted it fast after I noticed a drip from one of the power steering rams.
Just not any kind of a surprise for anyone remotely interested in the truth about German cars. Out of warranty they are a nightmare.
Not necessarily such a sweet dream in warranty, too.
I’ve come to realize that when there are many examples of a car in a self-service junkyard with more flowing in constantly, most of them are under 15 years old, and only very few of them have any body damage, that’s a great car to stay away from in real life. BMW X5s seem to be the poster child for this scenario with many perfect looking ones lined up in every yard, but Bangle 7s are right up there with them, only rarer due to less of them beind sold originally. 4Runners and Highlanders are the opposite, almost always only there with accident damage (or some intergalactic mileage), and picked to the bone very quickly.
Glad you got most of your money back, and you probably learned that while you are able and willing to maintain and repair a big BMW when/as needed, very few other people are the same way, and the knowledge/inclination to do so gets rarer the newer and more complex the car is.
I don’t know how much I should read into this, but ~45 minutes ago I saw a BMW X3 being flat-bedded.
Does anyone have any idea why BMW et al don’t address this issue? It seems to me that one day this poor reliability will catch up with them.
There are two packs an automaker can nip at the heels of.
They can try and ape the likes of Toyota, who know how to make cars that work, and keep working, and don’t need much fixing, and fix well, and stay fixed.
Or they can try and ape the likes of JLR and Ferrari and Lamborghini and (long list of other expensive-car makers goes here), who know how to make cars with high-flow money extraction systems so their owners can advertise how much cash they can burn, initially and on an ongoing basis.
Which automakers have made which choice is an exercise for the reader.
I had an ’84 BMW 528l with a 5-speed in high school from 1987-1990. My father bought it used in Germany when he was there for a year in the USAF. He brought it back and gave it to me with 45K kilometers on the clock (roughly 28K miles). This when it was legal to buy “grey market” cars there and bring back with no need to update to US standards (like bigger bumpers). Needless to say, in a matter of one day I quickly could convert the speedo’s KMH to MPH down to within a few MPH.
The car had more horsepower than the same model built there for sale here in the US market, largely from more emissions choking and electronics to control it. That 1984 model was 180hp in US form, but over 200hp for the German market. It was a sleeper and Mustang GTs, IROC-Zs, and 300ZXs that were popular with the young guys then were shocked when I’d be ahead of them. Especially those with slush boxes. I never had issue with that car except a clutch replacement, and kept it until 1998 selling it with 136K miles. I last heard from the owner back in the early ’00s it was still going strong then lost contact. The last VIN record reported it was last tagged in 2005. I’d like to think that car without all the US emissions extras helped it live longer.
I’ve been down a similar path and realized the truth about expensive European Cars. I’ve even got my Daughter referring to cars of this type as “First Owner Cars.” It’s the original owner who gets the warranty and loaner cars when needed. The allure is strong, but you are better off buying Japanese or American for an older car with less headaches.
To the poor reliability comment, word is BMW has taken notice and has corrected some of the reliability problems or so says those who report on such things. The newer B48 4 cylinder and B58 6-cylinder motors, which power many of their vehicles, are said to be robust and reliable. Fingers crossed!
The seller reminds me of a congressman who got kicked out for having an affair with a Chinese spy. Oh wait, he skated on that… But yeah, the seller will sometimes tell you more about a car than anything. It’s usually pretty easy to pick out the “don’t walk away, run” types. With luxury cars, it’s usually the types who buy an expensive but vastly depreciated car (usually with issues already) to try to look rich. If something breaks and makes the car inoperable, there might be enough right with it to be worth fixing, but more often you see so much broken stuff that it’s impractical to fix. And there’s nothing sadder than a flagship car that’s faded, beat up, and spit out – even if it still drives.
Anyway, this is a nightmare era for top-end cars. The Japanese makes were much better, although I don’t see the same prestige as a top BMW, Merc, or especially Rolls or Bentley. I know Mercedes went through major corporate upheaval in the 90s, and I suspect VW/Audi and BMW were similar. Cost-cutting was everywhere, and the scramble to put more technology in (especially on top-end cars) synergized to drive quality right into the toilet. It’s obvious if you sit in a 1990 Merc, BMW, or Audi, then the equivalent Y2K example: everything looks and feels cheaper, and you’re surrounded by hopelessly dated tech (most of which is probably broken – only the most fastidious owners put in the effort to stay on top of it). Also, pre-90s luxury cars tend to be much easier to fix, and not so complicated that the maintenance death spiral like that above is always knocking at the door. In fact, I know from experience that 80s Mercedes V8s (for one) only need a few mid-level maintenance items (timing chain and guides, mainly) to go to ridiculous mileage.
So, ultimately, I would avoid most top-end cars from around 95 until you get into relatively late-model stuff (and you’re paying around new-car money to avoid buying someone else’s problem child). Meanwhile, with a little research and patience, a well-kept 80s flagship can be yours for half the price, and is infinitely easier to maintain.