They say you should never meet your heroes. My wife experienced this truism when she was spending a weekend in New York City and spotted one of her favorite music artists having dinner at a nearby table. Being neither shy, nor particularly giving much concern to what others think or suggest, my wife did exactly what you are not supposed to do in that situation. She approached the table, and told the artist how much she appreciated her music. The artist promptly responded by telling her exactly how much she did not appreciate being bothered while having dinner. While she would have been justified in providing a curt response, her response went well beyond simple annoyance. She was nasty to the point of being downright ugly, forever changing the way my wife viewed one of her heroes, both as a person and as an artist.
Growing up an avid buff magazine reader, my hero was BMW. According to all of those periodicals, German sports sedans were the benchmark, and all others were pretenders to the throne. Infinitis were fun, but a bit rough around the edges. Lexus vehicles were sumptuous, but notably ‘soft’ compared to the athletic Germans. SAABs and Volvos had their merits, but were somewhat utilitarian and quirky. Of the leading German marques, there was further segmentation. Mercedes was for the well-healed and discerning, but appealed to those who wanted something more isolating and serene. In other words, an old person’s car. If you were a REAL automotive connoisseur, you either drove a BMW, or you were a poser.
By 2012, my 2005 Outback was approaching 200K miles, and I was ready to upgrade. The company I worked for had been acquired by a large, internationally-recognized consulting firm, and with it, I was given a nice elevation. I was approaching 30, and with a sense that things were progressing well, both professionally and domestically, I felt it was time to pursue something a bit more aspirational. However, I would need to pump the brakes a bit, as we had also recently moved out of our townhouse and into our first single-family home, and we had an 18-month old at home and a second baby on the way. If I was going to go upscale, I would have to buy used and choose wisely. Luckily, the Subaru held its value well, and sold within a few hours of being put on my lawn with a “For Sale” sign.
While I would have loved a 5-series, I knew that a 3 series would make the most financial sense. That was fine with me, as the 3-Series was a well-respected vehicle, having made the 10-best list a remarkable 20 consecutive years by that time. The then-current fifth-generation E90 model was nearing the end of its run, so there would be plenty of inventory. It was also well-known this would be the end of the line for the bulletproof naturally aspirated straight 6 being offered as the base engine. I determined that, living in the northeast, the X-Drive equipped model would be the practical choice. With my search criteria set, I spent time investigating local used car dealers that were reputable, and found a Philadelphia outlet that serviced and sold BMWs and Mercedes and that had a solid reputation. Perusing their inventory, something quickly caught my eye. They had a newly received, low-mileage 2010 328i X-drive just off lease, in my favorite possible color combination: Metallic Tasman Green, with a saddle brown interior. Heavenly. My wife and I drove down to Northeast Philly to test drive it, and…
My first impression was pure love. When I opened the door for the first time, the brown leather seats and door inserts, contrasted with black dash and carpets, was simply gorgeous. The dash was straightforward and businesslike — a couple of round analog gauges in front of the driver, and a large (for the time) digital screen set into a deep shroud in the center section and canted toward the driver. With real wood trim gracing the panel and console, which included the infamous BMW iDrive knob, it certainly looked the business. The salesperson came over with the key, and told us to take our time test driving it.
Settling into the front seat, my first impression was that this is a small car. It definitely felt more akin to a sports car than a luxury sedan, in that you sat down in it, low to the ground with your feet more in front of than under you. My wife, being petite, seemed comfortable enough in the passenger seat, but there wasn’t much to offer over there but a flimsy, afterthought cup holder that extended out of the plain slab of dashboard. Also of note was that the dash was quite shallow, placing the windshield at closer than expected proximity to my face. Being on the claustrophobic side, it was all a bit more confining than I expected. Oh well, we make these sacrifices to attain our goals. Eager to get it on the road, I reached over to push the starter button and… nothing happened. After some fumbling around, we figured out that despite having the new-fangled push button start, you still had to insert the fob into a slot on the dash, which seemed oddly archaic. Once that was resolved, the engine eagerly came to life and settled into a low, throaty burble. “There it is,” I thought, “That’s the BMW magic.” A grin likely crossed my face at the sound, as I slipped it into gear and pulled out of the dealer’s lot and onto a quiet suburban street.
Once underway, the car certainly felt purposeful. Anyone who has driven a BMW of that era knows that, compared to just about any civilian vehicle, all of the basic controls, and in particular the steering, require firm inputs. The sensation is that you are truly driving the car – there is nothing passive about piloting a BMW. This, of course, was a huge part of the appeal, and along with the attainment of what had been a longtime goal, is why I decided to make the purchase. This was, after all, the Ultimate Driving Machine ®, and owning one would make me the Ultimate Driver.
I drove the Bimmer for 3 years, and the truth is that I never loved it. It was generally reliable, although not long after I bought it, I found the passenger footwell flooded with more than an inch of standing water after a heavy overnight rain. I ultimately found that the door diaphragm had come unattached, which was an easy fix. Regardless, there were things about the car that I genuinely liked. First off, it was a truly handsome vehicle. I’m of the opinion, shared by many, that the early E90s were horrid looking. The midcycle refresh, which de-Bangled the weirdest of the earlier car’s styling sins, was about as successful a facelift as there has ever been. While the changes were generally subtle – replacing the flat hood with one that featured nice character lines, rounding the grill openings and removing the silly chrome eyebrows from above them, and resetting the taillights into the familiar BMW style – utterly transformed the car from homely to handsome. The aforementioned color combination completed the aesthetic package, as it was both stunning and uncommon.
I enjoyed the heavy, direct steering, although that was something my wife didn’t particularly care for. The quality of the interior materials was top-notch, and the heated steering wheel was something I didn’t know I needed until I experienced it. And, finally, I found the much-maligned iDrive to be user-friendly and intuitive – so much so that I would take it over just about any touchscreen system I’ve since encountered. The ability to navigate menus with just a quick glance, versus having to take your eyes off the road long enough to both locate and interact with a digital icon, is a massive safety advantage. For my “get off my lawn” rant, I will express my incredulity that touchscreens have become the automotive standard. There is no way anyone can convince me that they are not distracting and inherently unsafe. I’ve heard it argued that because they operate like a smartphone, that working them has become second nature. This argument completely disregards that when you are using your phone, you are not piloting a 5,000lb missile at 75mph, but I digress. Anyway, that’s it. That’s my full list of things I liked about the car.
My list of dislikes is shorter, but more fundamental. What I immediately didn’t like, and never came to appreciate, was the GM-sourced, six-speed automatic. While it was mostly fine, the 1-2 upshift never felt right. In all but the hardest acceleration, it seemed to hang in first too long, then punch into second a little too firmly. I came to wonder if there was an issue with my car, but I rented one on a business trip, and found that it behaved similarly to mine. It also felt a bit slower than I had expected. Contemporary tests showed 0-60 times in the mid-7s, which made it more than a half-second slower than my Outback. This, combined with the weird shifting behavior, made it feel surprisingly less eager to play than I would have expected of the marque. My car was unfortunately not equipped with the upgraded sport models, and the standard seats were sheer torture devices. By the end of my 1-hour commute, I could not wait to get out of that car. Combined with the low seating and tight confines, it was simply not a pleasant place to spend a long time, and being stuck in a traffic jam (a common occurrence in the Northeast corridor) was a test of patience.
In June of 2015, we moved from PA to the Atlanta area. The BMW had just gone over 100K miles, and the engine had developed a leak from the rear main seal. My local BMW specialist quoted me $3000 to repair, and I was planning to do so once we were settled in Atlanta. Two factors changed my mind. First off, the 900-mile road trip in those seats almost killed me. I’m a relatively athletic guy and an avid runner, but the discomfort and stiffness in my back and backside rendered getting out of the car at rest stops physically challenging, and returning to them afterward a dreaded experience. The final straw, however, was Georgia’s ad valorem tax structure, which requires transplants to pay sales tax against the fair market value of any vehicle transferred from out of state within 90 days of arrival. This, along with the needed repairs, would have put me out of pocket nearly $5000, in addition to the tax bill I had to pay for my wife’s car. That was simply too much cash for a car I didn’t particularly like, so instead of registering it, I drove it to my local Honda dealer and traded it against a 2015 Accord lease. I didn’t look over my shoulder as I drove away.
My wife has not listened to that artist since her encounter in NYC, and still changes the channel any time she comes on the radio. Similarly, I have developed an aversion to BMWs. In fact, after this and my experience with my 2000 Jetta, I swore off all German cars for a decade, only recently dipping my toe back into that water. I do believe one should never say never, but unless someone offers me the deal of a lifetime on a Z8 or 3.0CS, I seriously doubt I will ever bother with another BMW.
Great article! I’ve always wondered about trying the 3-series, now again not so sure! By the way, small typo, unless you really did get 75 mpg – in which case I’m in!
That would’ve been nice!
My experience was that it was not a bad car, it was just… meh. That made it quite a let down after buying the hype for so many years. I was expecting Superman, and got Clark Kent.
I have seen plenty of people piloting a 5000lb missile while using their smartphone. 🙂
Low seating position, hard seats, cramped cockpit – that’s what you get when you order “sportiness.” Didn’t you?
The seats aren’t sporty. There’s no support. No padding. And no bolstering. They just suck.
The opening was similar to my own brief experience as a BMW car owner (my BMW motorcycle ownership was longer and generally more positive). In my case it was an older example, a one-owner, meticulously maintained E12 528i with 100K miles. But I could immediately relate to the “18 month old and second baby on the way”. Let’s just say that the BMW, roadside breakdowns in the time before cellphones, tow trucks, and two small kids did not make for family harmony. Although since then we’ve owned two VW’s (Mexican assembled) and that has been uneventful – in a good way.
So VW is the brand I recently returned to. So far, it’s our favorite car we’ve owned. More on that one to come.
You have to tell us who the artist is. Or at least give us some breadcrumbs
Hmm, let’s see.
She borrowed a mic, built an empire, kept the crown.
Did she date Pierre Trudeau?
A big negative on that one. She’s of a different era, genre, and ethnicity. Her prime was squarely in the ‘90s and her music a bit more urban and edgy.
Rhiannna ?
Nope. Predates her by a few years.
Janet?!? Noooooo
So much of a car comes down to how it’s spec’ed. All of the complaints you have would have bothered me too. On the other hand, my father had a 2008 335i coupe that he custom ordered with the stick shift and sport package, and that iteration of the E90 was just about perfect in my eyes. In a coupe, a snug cockpit and low seating position is more expected, and the power from the twin turbo six was intoxicating. It was the car I learned to drive stick shift on, and I found it was a very forgiving manual. Clearly many fond memories of the car on my end. My father also loved with it, and only parted with it last year after about 17 years.
You’re probably dead right. My buddy has the the same generation M3 coupe and loves it, and that car is perfectly dialed in for its purpose. One thing I do find inexcusable though is the seats. Their sport seats are great, and their standard seats are well-known to be effective interrogation devices. Shouldn’t a premium brand, with a sporting reputation, provide liveable seating as a standard feature?
In the early 80s, I was a car-crazed teen just as BMW was achieving their status as the ultimate Yuppiemobile. I was working as a valet parking attendant at a high-end country club in the suburbs of NYC, and I got to drive a lot of fancy cars, foreign and domestic, including plenty of BMW. The 600 yard drive to the parking lot wasn’t a road test, of course, but I got a feel for a lot of cars.
I wasn’t particularly impressed by the BMW. There were plenty of other makes that I liked more. And that’s kinda stuck with me to this day.
As with you, I valet parked a number of BMWs and something about the clutch was difficult for me to balance. Later on, a friend who was cashing in some Microsoft employee options on a new 3-series took me along and we spent a few hours comparing the standard 3, the sport package and the M3.
I just never warmed to them. I liked the Audi driving experience better, but am always conscious of the cars weights. Knowing that the cost of German ownership can run pricey I won’t begrudge someone who goes that route; but not for me.
In my opinion a lot of the BMW hype started in the ’70s with the 2002. It was, compared to the then competition, a well-deserved reputation. By the mid-aughts though, there was plenty of driver-centered competition, much of it at a lower entry fee and with greater reliability. I think many enthusiasts jumped off the BMW train once their cars became heavily dependent on electronics and harder to wrench at home.
When it comes to things like this, everyone has their own experience as dictated by chance and personal opinion/criteria. I could go on about how my own BMW experience has been quite different from Brian’s, but that’s not really important because that would be my experience and in no way would change Brian’s experience.
Hard to argue with that we need more people like you on chat boards, social media sites, boards of commissioners, and media outlets.
In the early 1980s, Gary Larson drew what’s still my all-time favorite Far Side cartoon. The Far Side kid with the thick glasses and the brush cut is standing by the bed in his pajamas, reading a note:
“Dear Billy,
This time I just took the tooth under the pillow. Next time I’m bringing the PLIERS. Beware Billy!”
A couple days after the cartoon ran, I ran into Gary Larson at a bakery café I often went to in Seattle. He was at a two-top with another person, so I figured I shouldn’t take up a lot of his time, but I briefly told him how much I’d enjoyed the cartoon. He said, “Thank you.”
If I’d bought a BMW, I would have assumed going in that surely the seats would be comfortable, and I’d be very disappointed if they were as bad as you say yours were. I’d expect at least decent seats in a Toyota Corolla.
I think the idea is that having serious buyer’s remorse about your new German Whip*, you are meant to the return to the showroom to pay 25% more for another with the correct options ticked to correct the faults. EG, 12-way ‘sports’ seats and not the 19″ spinal crackers and spurts suspension.
*Song by Meridian Dan, for those unfamiliar.
Ahh, memories of my own BMW infatuation in the mid 80s. Mine was unrequited, so a BMW of that vintage remains perfect in the confluence of memory and imagination. I have, however, had a couple of cars over the decades that I failed to bond with for different reasons, and that is always a disappointment, especially when you go in wanting to love the car.
That color combo is gorgeous indeed!
My wife had a 2008 E90 328i sport stick, grey, black interior, brushed aluminum trim, single hump (no iDrive). She enjoyed it and my only previous BMW experience was brief, driving a 97 740iL. She liked her 3 and I enjoyed driving it but always looked more longingly at the E46. Her’s was eventually eaten by an F150. I found her a two owner 2011 E90 328i M sport stick, black sapphire metallic, black interior, patterned aluminum trim, single hump. Much better looking but wish it was Le Mans blue. I find the sport seats aren’t great for long distance but great in the twisties. The cup holders are stupid, I just had to replace one after it stopped extending from the dash. Don’t use hand sanitizer in the car! It destroys the soft plastics. The passenger interior door handle eventually melts and needs to be replaced. Maintenance is expensive, frequent, and the author got out from under it just in time; at 100k we spent a lot on replacing bushings and Bilstein B4 shocks and struts, and other things. But it’s wonderful on autocross, begs to rev to the red line, and makes me smile. I still lusted after an E46 330i ZHP sedan but the repair shop said our E90 is better. And like a fine wine, it’s now being looked back on as last of the Mohicans so it hasn’t lost a dime in value.
I have owned a long string of BMWs starting back in the 90’s when my Scirocco 16V wasn’t ready for a gymkhana event and a fellow competitor let me drive his 325iS, and continuing right through today. I thought I’d share a few observations culled from my journey.
First is that every new generation since the 2002 has gotten further removed from David E Davis’ hallowed ideal of sports car performance in utilitarian overalls. I personally think BMW peaked with the E30 chassis (1984-91 3-series) although the ultimate performance capabilities continue to increase even through today. My newest BMW to date was an E90 335i similar to the author’s car here, and while it was quick and comfortable it wasn’t actually very sporty.
A second observation is that the base seats in a BMW are mostly lousy – thin, with no bolsters to hold one in place and no curvature to cradle a human’s normal shape – always get the Sports package if only for the seats.
The last note I’d highlight is how BMW has suffered from the pressures of the industry to improve efficiency, sustainability and most of all profitability. Every next generation of Beemer has been felt less durable, and have lost important sporting identifiers like limited-slip differentials and manual transmissions. After my E90 experience I finally stepped away from the brand because the fun had gone out of the lesser models and the halo ///M cars seemed more about stat-maxing than actualizing ultimate driving machines.
Still, they had a good run and I enjoyed them while it lasted. And I’ll never* sell my Z3 M Coupe as it hit the sweet spot for me along their path – wildly fun and rewarding to engage.
I went through the “BMW phase” as well, but was careful to stick to only CPOs, which I always dispensed of as the warranty was expiring or one through the misfortune of a traffic accident. Of the 3 we owned, replaced an A/C condenser (we live in Arizona) in the two we drove to the warranty limit. One other had a repair I don’t remember the detail but which would have been a $2,000 fix.
But about the traffic accident car. A Toyota Camry made a left turn directly in front of me and my 328 with no chance to stop and a vehicle to its right. I saw a woman in the passenger side which I was about to hit, and swerved left to avoid her. I hit the front axle of the Camry square, thereby absorbing the impact with the heaviest and least-forgivng part of the Camry. The front of the 328 was squashed, per design, but the windshield had nary a crack and the interior was as if nothing happened, but for the airbag deployment. I came out of it with a spinal concussion from the impact, but symptoms were gone in a week. The car was well-designed, well-built.
I did move on from BMWs though. Another ‘safety’ car though, a Volvo S90. The 2017 IIHS offset test may have had something to do with it.
I think a base engine automatic AWD non-sport version is probably the worst trim to buy if you want the BMW magic, whatever is left anyway. I tried to like a F30 3 series equipped just like your E90 and it only took a 20 minute test drive to settle it. The seats were bad. The steering was numb. The turbo four with automatic was characterless. The sport seats solve one problem, but the rest remains kind of anodyne and compromised. It’s a nice enough car but it doesn’t uphold the legendary historic status of the model.
Those terrible rock-hard yet unsupportive base seats continued at least through the F30 generation. God, they’re awful.
I wonder if the latest 3 series generation is any better.
“…owning one would make me the Ultimate Driver”
Great line, it neatly encapsulates one of the fallacies in the “enthusiast” mindset.
I think your first sentence nails it.
Wonder if you can tell me which dealer you got your car in Philly? Than you
Sorry it took me a minute to find it. I remembered it being Northeast, but it is actually in the King of Prussia area. Still going strong.
https://www.eurocarscertified.com/
https://maps.apps.goo.gl/fQbCvsASzssf4N9Z9?g_st=ic
I had a 2010 328 e92 (coupe) with a stick and the M-Sport package for a few years. It was a great car and more reliable than I expected it would be. 0-60 in the low 6s and the seats were very comfortable. My only complaint was that the engine would hold the revs for a split second when shifting gears. It made the flywheel seem heavy and thus made it difficult to rev match when down shifting. My previous car was a ’99 Miata, which was much more suited for spirited driving, even though it was slower.
Ha! I just noticed an egregious typo. In 2012, I was approaching 40, not 30. I’ll blame the declining eyesight.
Years ago, in a burst of prosperous times, I had an E36 manual, albeit a four. The handling – notably more balanced than the sixes – was unbeatable, the steering excellent, the solidity impressive, the performance…was acceptable if thrashed (but in truth, there wasn’t too much of it). But alas, it too had concrete seats – and, in the E36, a twisted driving position – and was greedy for repairs that themselves were usually outrageous, and I have not been near the brand ever since. A fallen hero, then.
Similarly long ago, I was out with friends to see Barry Humphries, the creator of Dame Edna Everage, for a show of one of his little-known characters, one Sandy Stone. Fifteen minutes before showtime, bumbling a long a cold and windy Melbourne night, lo and behold, there he was. Excited, we stalked him a little, until he stopped and turned abrubtly to look in a shop window, and we literally bobbled into him. Says I, “Umm, why, we’re going to your show tonight”, to which he replied with a wry look, “Well, I’ll be there then!” A delightful encounter with a hero of wit and vaudeville, followed, I might add, by the funniest night I have ever spent. In that case, a hero deified for ever.
Just to share my experience of a relative to the e90 328, I daily drive an 08 e90 M3 sedan with the 6MT and I absolutely love it. The e90 M3 clutch hydraulics doesn’t have weird “delay valves” that BMW seems to engineer into some other manual cars, so rev-matched downshifts are effortless and fun. The shifter feel doesn’t have the precision of Honda S2000, but I still downshift often just for the fun and heck of it, even on a commute. I once literally LOL’ed as I executed a perfect heel-n-toe downshift and accelerated out of a turn in the middle of a conference call—thankfully I was on mute. In Silicon Valley I deal with true stop and go traffic every day, and I still wouldn’t trade the 6MT for an auto.
The 4.0L NA V8 is regarded as “torqueless” even back then, but honestly for me the car is already way faster than any sane person can reasonably expect a “non-exotic” car to be. The engine has instant throttle response at any speed, and the “torqueless” aspect actually allows me to savor winding the engine out to its 8200rpm redline, with true race car noises to match. It’s a special car, yet not so special that only the cognoscenti would know I’m not driving another garden variety e90.
As a daily, about the only thing that sucks is the gas mileage. My lifetime average is 15mpg, as indicated by the car’s computer. I’m fortunate enough that it’s not the fuel cost, but the fact that I have to fill it up every 3-4 days of commuting that bothers me. I spare no expenses in preventive maintenance, and the car has treated me well thus far even with nearly 110k miles on the odometer. About the only unplanned repairs were two failed throttle actuators (a common issue for those engines…one for each bank), a stuck-open thermostat, and clutch pressure plate that grenaded at ~50k miles (which was very expensive even by BMW standards)…which I reluctantly accept considering how often I use it on something that spins to 8200rpm often and daily. 🙂
I’m sorry you didn’t meet your Superman. This is my first and only German car (all my other/previous cars were Japanese), but I’m fortunate that I did meet my hero, and this hero was everything I had imagined it would be.