Curbside Classic: 1994 Chevrolet Caprice Classic Wagon – A Whale Of A Tail

There’s a concept in the study of history known as the ‘Short Twentieth Century.’ First coined in 1994 by historian Eric Hobsbawm, it posits that, from a geopolitical standpoint, the 20th Century was actually quite short: shorter than its 100 years would suggest. In contrast with the ‘long’ 19th Century, which can be considered to last from either the French Revolution to WWI, the historical 20th century lasted from 1914 to 1991 –from the First World War to the fall of the USSR. By implication, the historical 21st Century then started in 1991, instead of at the turn of the Millennium.

And, in so many ways, this feels accurate, as so many historical trends ended and modern trends began in the 1990s. The Eastern Bloc fell and its former members more or less became democratic and capitalist. Globalism and Neoliberalism became the global economic norm. The Internet gained popularity and connected the world as it never had been before. And, in the American automotive market, the traditional full-size sedan began to draw what would be its final breaths, as its dwindling long reign would begin to crumble under the pressure of minivans and SUVs.

For big station wagons, the fall would come even sooner, as there would be no more full-size wagons in production in the US by the middle of the decade. And this car — ’94 Caprice Classic wagon — was one of the last.

Our featured car is one of the last examples of a storied American tradition; the big ol’ station wagon. Though station wagons have been around since the dawn of the automobile age, they really took off in popularity starting in the 1950s. As American families began to explode in size during the post-war Baby Boom, automakers were happy to offer affordable, steel-bodied wagons based on their full-size cars to provide buyers with additional interior room for their kids and their stuff.

They were big, comfortable, and, most importantly for their manufacturers, profitable. And for the better part of half a century, station wagons were the premier way to haul a family around. Millions of Americans grew up in the back of a wagon and paired with their sedan counterparts, it was hard to imagine such a staple of motoring ever disappearing.

As we know in the current day, though, the traditional American sedan, and wagon, would vanish from our roads and driveways as the 20th Century came to a close.

General Motors introduced what would wind up being the final generation of its venerable B-Platform cars in 1990 for the 1991 model year. In addition to the Chevrolet Caprice, the new B-Bodies also formed the basis for the reintroduced Buick Roadmaster and Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser. The first major update for its full-sized offerings in 14 years, the ’91 B-Bodies wore vastly-different sheet metal than their predecessors. Gone were the boxy looks of the late 70s, and in their place was soft, tapered styling with curved glass and rounded edges. No sharp corners or rectangular anything; the 90s were here and the future was smooooooth.

Though the B-Bodies were more modern looking than their outgoing predecessors, they were completely conventional at their core. Body on frame, rear-wheel-drive, generally with a V8 under the hood and hooked up to a column-shifting automatic. The phrase ‘why mess with success’ comes to mind, but GM may have taken it a little too far with the 90s B-Bodies. Underneath the sanded-down sheet metal, GM mostly carried over the mechanical and structural bits from the old cars. The frames were the same, the drivetrains were mostly the same, and even the floor pans were the same — beyond the interior and the body, there wasn’t a whole lot of innovation to be found with the 90s GM full-sizers. They were traditional, but maybe to a fault.

image credit: Wikipedia user Mr. Choppers

 

Of course, considering how revolutionary the 1977-90 B-Bodies were, it isn’t terribly surprising that GM would try to get more life out of the platform. Significantly improved and downsized from previous full-sized GM cars, the ’77 B-Bodies were a smash hit and were the exact right car for the times. As after the tumultuous gas crisis years, Americans looked for cars that got better gas mileage and had better space utilization than the barges of the early 70s.

And despite being in production with few updates for nearly a decade and a half, the B-Body cars kept selling well until their final model year in 1990. Why wouldn’t GM keep using the platform? They had spent $600 million in 70s money on its development after all. It’s still competitive, right?

Unfortunately, this would not be the case, as the ’91 B-Bodies flopped almost as hard as the ’77s succeeded. Despite having brand-new exteriors and interiors, the ’91 Caprice sold half as many units as the outgoing 1990 models did. And the round boi Caprice’s best sales year was still worse than the old Caprice’s worst; selling 116,000 units in 1992 vs. 123,000 in 1983. The Caprice soldiered on until 1996, along with its Buick counterpart, but the Oldsmobile Customer Cruiser was a complete non-starter and left the market after 1992. After 1996, the General Motors B-Platform — which had underpinned tens of millions of cars since 1926 — was no more. And GM would never build a big, body-on-frame sedan ever again.

So what happened? How did the Mighty B fall so completely, so fast? Well, the styling didn’t do it any favors. Whereas the Bs of the late 70s and 80s looked trim despite their full-sized dimensions, the cars of the 90s were rather ungainly. Though they had smooth, soap-bar styling like most other 90s cars, the Caprice and the other B-Bodies look bulgy and ponderous; partially a result of having bodies wider than their 70s-era frames were designed for. Automotive critics panned the new designs, with the unfortunate moniker of ‘beached whale’ following the cars like the foul smell of its namesake.

The wagons may have suffered most of all. Historically, wagons would ride on longer platforms than their sedan counterparts, with a few inches of wheelbase helping both with interior room and external proportions. This did not happen with the 90s Bs, as the wagons rode on the same 116.9 inch wheelbase as the sedans. So this Caprice wagon’s big badonk hangs out way further than its rear wheels, and its sloping greenhouse makes the car look wider than it already is. Sir Mix-A-Lot helped popularize big butts on women in the early 90s, but I guess he couldn’t convince people to love cars with the same feature.

The Caprice Sedan got a mid-cycle refresh in 1993 that removed its skirted rear fenders and helped the car look a little less bootylicious, but no such updates were given to the wagon. It kept its rear wheels partially-hidden under its love handles until the bitter end. The styling update didn’t help, though: sales remained stagnant through ’93 and ’94, until falling precipitously in the final two years of the platform. Half of all sales were to fleets, and the 90s Caprice was probably more commonly seen in cop shows than they were in real life. Chevrolet only moved 27,000 Caprices in 1996; of which only 485 were wagons.

And despite its flirtation with modernity, the end-stage Caprice wagon was still slathered in the usual wagon accouterment. Wood grain was still plastered over the sides and rear of many Caprice wagons, the back row seat still faced rearward, and the tailgate was still split; the glass lifted up, but the tailgate itself still swung open from the side. It even still came with a standard hood ornament. Like so many GM creations of the era, this Caprice has one foot in the present, but the other is firmly planted in its storied past. And the reluctance to modernize is what caused so many of said cars to flounder and fail in the marketplace.

Of course, regardless of how modern this Caprice was, it likely still would have gone extinct. The 80s showed the world the wonders of the minivan, and the 90s were the dawn of the SUV era. Station wagons were old news, and when the Baby Boomers started to have kids of their own, they largely rejected the wagons they had spent countless hours riding around in when they needed their own family trucksters.

Neither Chrysler nor Ford had full-size wagons left in their lineup when the 80s became the 90s, so they left the market all to GM. And as it turns out, that market had dried up entirely. Minivans reigned supreme in the 90s, and by the 2010s, SUVs had largely killed them too. Full-size sedans didn’t last much longer; with the last one, the Ford Panther platform, limping along until 2011 largely due to fleet sales. Now, in the 2020s, crossovers and SUVs are threatening to kill sedans altogether. Even if they had been more handsome, I doubt the Caprice and its siblings would have lived much longer than they did.

In the 2020s, though, these big land yachts have undergone a minor reevaluation. The high-performance Impala SS — based on the pedestrian Caprice — has entered the pantheon of modern classics. And the Buick Roadmaster wagon has enjoyed a bit of ironic popularity in recent years due to how big and funky-looking it is. The Caprice wagon, though, still hasn’t had its moment in the sun. Despite its dangling rubber bits and rust hiding under the wood grain on its tailgate, this example still runs and drives, and looks plenty restorable if the owner so chooses.

Wild how cars from the 90s need reservation now, isn’t it? Well, they’re classics now, and potentially no other car of this vintage is so classic as this Caprice.

 

Related CC reading:

Curbside Classic: 1996 Chevrolet Caprice Classic – Engineer’s Choice

Curbside Classic: 1994-96 Chevrolet Impala SS – Killer Whale