Curbside Classic: 2006 Lincoln Town Car Signature L – Giant Living Fossil

Look at that, a coelacanth out of water! The venerable Panther-based Town Car has now been out of production for a decade and a half, yet its final iteration has not really had its 15 minutes of CC fame. Maybe there are still too many prowling the North American pavement, usually in fleet service, to be noticed by our Stateside CContributors. In Japan, these stick out a bit more. They do appear from time to time, but rarely in LWB form.

The traditional American land yacht, by about 1975, was a dinosaur. Body-on-frame, live axle RWD, V8 tucked behind a gaudy chrome grille with a stand-up hood ornament, automatic transmission with column shift… The formula was tired, but it took years of attrition to wipe the species off the Big Three’s ranges. By the late ‘90s, Ford stood alone. They gave their Panther-based cars a more modern body for 1998 and just kept making them, only bothering to really do a single major facelift in 2003.

And boy did Ford keep the flame alive for extra innings. But then, that’s the benefit of cornering a niche: any folks, usually older and wealthier, who still wanted a slice of ‘70s-style Americana in the 21st Century only had one option. Well, they had three – Ford, Mercury and Lincoln, but it was all the same chassis.

Fleet operators loved the Panther cars, too. The Ford Crown Vic was the standard NYC taxi for a long spell and was the default police cruiser until fairly recently. I’m not sure if there’s a breakdown of private versus fleet sales for the Lincoln Town Car, but it was the “basic American limo” for ages.

Even prior to the 2003 facelift, fleet models usually carried a simplified trim called “Executive.” Above that stood the Signature and Signature Limited. Quite a few Lincolns were given the old cut-n-stretch treatment. Being the last separate chassis car made them the obvious limousine. But if your legroom requirements were a bit more reasonable, Lincoln had a fully-optioned factory stretch for you: the long-wheelbase Signature L. In 2008, as the model was on its last legs, production moved to Canada and the range was simplified to two trim levels: Signature Limited and Signature L.

The extra wheelbase consisted in six inches (15cm) for the back passenger. Sometimes, these longer cars look a little off, with their huge rear doors – some S-Class Benzes don’t work too well in LWB form for me, for instance. On the 2003-2011 Town Car, especially in black, it fits rather well. It certainly looks sleeker than other LWB Panthers, thanks to that unique roofline.

That front passenger seat is pushed all the way, almost into the glovebox. Obviously, we’re dealing with a chauffeur-driven car here – that’s exactly why Lincoln made these. And with the unobtrusive burble of the 239hp 4.6 litre V8 and the pillowy air suspension (not sure it has that, but if you’re going to splurge on a LWB Lincoln in Japan, you might as well tick that box), this would have been a serious rival to the Toyota Century.

The Toyota had the Lincoln beat in refinement, with its bespoke 5-litre V12, impressive gadgetry and immaculate finish. But the Town Car would have several arguments in its favour, including more interior room, a bullet-proof drivetrain and an air of LHD exclusivity that the Century just did not have on its home market.

Why compare the Town Car and the Century? Because in Japan, they were pretty close in price: the LWB Lincoln retailed for about ¥10.5m – or ¥1m less than the Toyota (2007 prices). This Town Car was certainly sold here new, what with those fugly turn signal repeaters. And there’s the case of those even fuglier headlights, too.

I’m guessing only Japanese-market Lincolns have that odd four-eyed stare, as I’ve seen these nowhere else. Not all Town Cars found in Tokyo have these curious items by a long shot, though, but some, like the locally-transformed “stiff wagons” I’ve spotted on occasion, have them almost invariably — sometimes chromed, even.

Not sure how these keypads would have been regarded by Japanese customers 20 years ago. I cannot remember how I regarded them myself – these Lincolns weren’t seen in Europe, but I did travel back in them days. To the US, even. Nowadays, I see this and think: trouble. And my second thought is: cheap-looking. What is this, Ford’s largest and most expensive car, or a hotel safety deposit box?

Even with fleet sales, the Town Car’s goose was pretty much cooked by 2005. American sales, which represented the overwhelming majority of the model’s market, dipped below 50k units per year. By 2008, it was down to the 15k mark, and the tailspin continued. The Town Car was only kept alive because the other Panther cars still sold in reasonable numbers. For its final model year, in 2011, the living fossil convinced just over a thousand buyers. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

But when said mighty are built like a Sherman and capable of eating up 250-500k miles of asphalt in a lifetime, it’s safe to assume that quite a few of these fossils will stay alive for a good few decades yet. The only issue, by the 2040s, might be fuel. We might run out of dinosaur juice before we run out of dinosaurs.

 

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What If? – 2003 Lincoln Town Car Hardtop, by Stephen Fowler

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