CC Sunday Paper: New Cars, 60.7 Years Ago

This didn’t start out as the Sunday paper, it started out as the Thursday paper. It’s the Hanna (Alberta) Herald for Thursday, 4 October 1962, to be exact, and it’s chock full o’ news about the new 1963 automobiles, and ads for them. Also lots of farming and ranching news, because that’s most of what was doing in rural Alberta.

But today, over 22,000 days later, this is an honourary Sunday paper. Fetch your pipe and slippers; have a seat on the chesterfield (that’s Canadian for couch or sofa); put up your feet, and let’s read. Here’s the front page:

On page 2, we find this ad for Mister (International) Harvester…

…and this to-the-point invitation to grab a free cup o’ java and a doughnut at the Buick-Pontiac dealership:

Page 3 brings us this ad for the ’63 Comet. Interested to know more? Ring the dealership; their phone number is 18:

Page 5 has the small article at the top of this post, about the ’63 Chryslers, as well as this ad for the ’63 Mercury Meteor. That’d’ve been confusing, as Meteor-as-marque cars were also being sold in Canada at the same time. Bonus used-car ad adjacent:

Page 7 has this ad for the ’63 Mercury Monterey:

Page 8 has a gleeful article about the new ’63s in general, with some clues about the dealership structure at that placetime, and some car-unrelated articles to elevate your eyebrows and make your bowtie spin. Do you see what kinds of resolutions are to be presented regarding how the children are to be schooled; can you believe it? The Metric System! Auxiliary heaters in school buses! Hell in a handbasket! And just get a load of that piece about the lynx and the goose! (all sarcasm aside, younger schoolkids sold as ‘slaves’, heh-heh-heh, to older-student ‘masters’, heh-heh-heh: holy manure.)

Let’s, ah, turn that page, please and thank you. On page 9 there’s news and an ad for the great new ’63 Dodge:

On page 11 there’s this exciting ad for the new ’63 Acadians and the new Canso range:

And on the other side of the page, here’s the news to go along with:

On page 12, we’re back to talking about Dodges…

…then the majority of page 13 is about Plymouths. Alternators replaced generators as standard equipment for ’63 on all the –Mopar– Chryco models, and 313 isn’t a typo; the V8 engine for Canada had five fewer cubic inches than the US model:

On page 14, there’s an ad and news about the ’63 GMCs, large (independent front suspension!) and small:

P is for Page 15. P is for Pontiac. Coincidence? You decide:

And page 16 celebrates the virtues of the highly new Valiant. The valuest value ever…? 1963 was the first of two years in which Canadian Valiants used the US Valiant front end on the US Dart body. If I had been the editor of the Hanna Herald, I might’ve rewritten passenger comfort and convenience are stressed in the 1963 Valiant, which is kind of the opposite of what they meant to mean:

That’s the end; there were 16 pages to this newspaper. What’ll we do now we’ve read the whole thing? Maybe go take a look at…well, which dealership would you head for?

Hang on; there’s one more ad from this paper, on one of the pages without any car content:

They had to run ads like this for a reason; evidently other people spoiling everything is not a new phenomenon.