Curbside Capsule: 1986 Oldsmobile Firenza S Coupe – J-School Graduate


(first posted 5/16/2013)    Okay, boss, here’s the copy for the Firenza brochure (I can’t believe I went to college for this *sigh*). Corporate keeps pushing these tin cans on us—don’t they even know what the Olds brand promise is? Well, this it ain’t! These badge-engineered J-cars are worse than a one-liner joke (do you like how I worked that into the first line of the copy?):

For those who take their fun—and budget—seriously. Fun, today, is more than a one-liner.”

“It’s people working hard at play and on the job. It’s giving that extra effort and getting full value in return.”

Yeah, a different plastic front end is what you get for all your “extra effort…”

“It’s the satisfaction of owning a fine Oldsmobile like Firenza Coupe or Sedan, or Firenza S Coupe. They are, surprisingly, the lowest priced Oldsmobiles of all.”

Like folks are *so* shopping Oldsmobile for “low price…”

“Each is stylishly Olds outside…”

Except for everything in-between the front and rear bumpers…

“… and comfortably Olds inside. Full-foam reclining bucket seats, deluxe steering wheel, side window defoggers, sport console, steel-belted tires and more—all included in a price that makes your first Oldsmobile very affordable.”

…just like every other rebadged J-car!

“Anyplace you spend time everyday should be inviting—and comfortable.”

That’s why most folks have a living room, I suspect.

“There is a special feel in a Firenza and Firenza Cruiser”

There is a special feel I got while writing that sentence…

Well there you go—that’s the best I could come up with, Boss. I’ll start on the Calais brochure this afternoon…

More CC coverage on the Firenza can be read here and here.