Cohort Outtake: 1988 Classic Tiffany – If You Say So

Like indulging in something at the county fair that’s guaranteed to give you a stomach ache, every once in a while we need to give a bit of bandwidth to one of my “special automotive friends”, otherwise known as retro-classics. William Rubano posted some shots of a particular favorite of mine, a Classic Tiffany. With a name like that, you know it’s something really truly special, and is guaranteed to give the owner massive prestige. Of course, that highly distinctive C-Pillar (and the rest of the body midsection) are the giveaway that this isn’t exactly a coachwork custom. But nobody else out ether will notice.

The Classic Tiffany was one of the many splendid products of America’s finest car maker, otherwise known as Classic Motor Carriages. They don’t exist anymore; something to do with losing a wire fraud case brought against them by the Florida (natch) Attorney General on behalf of hundreds of (stupid) clients who

The case stated that, over a period of eleven years, Classic Motor Carriages defrauded people by “knowingly and willfully” making “false and misleading statements, representations, and promises” in regard to the “quality of the kit car purchased, the delivery time to the customer and the required assembly time.” In addition, “false and fraudulent representations” were made to obtain deposits from prospective customers. Finally, the case stated that Classic Motor Carriages induced its customers to pay for kit cars, and then “failed to provide the automotive parts necessary for complete assembly.”

Classic Motor Carriages eventually pleaded guilty to the charges in summer of 1999, and was ordered to pay $2.5 million in restitution. Shortly thereafter, sales plummeted, and Classic Motor Carriages was evicted from its headquarters. Around the same time, the owner of Classic Motor Carriages, George G. Levin, re-opened the kit car business under a new name: “Auto Resolutions” (later changed to “StreetBeasts”).

Enough of all that ugly stuff; let’s check out this exquisite beauty. I don’t know where to start. Maybe best not to start at all.

What you don’t want to do is poke your head inside. All of a sudden, it’s a whole different world in there, a normal one of gray vinyl and mouse fur carpeting. Where’s the Connolly hides and Wilton carpets?

Under the hood is what’s referred to as ” a fuel injected V-8 engine having fuel capacity of 5.0 liters”. You don’t say. Although 5 liters of fuel probbaly won’t get one down the road very far.

Since there’s not a good shot of the most important aspect of the Classic Tiffany, here’s one from the web. I do love those headlight…supports, or whatever you would call them. Very classy. Needs a few more horns, though.

Such a modest little name badge for such a big, brash car. Oh I know; no need for a name badge at all; everyone knows what this is the instant it comes down the street…and the see that C-Pillar.