(Dave B., who is the manager at St. Vinny’s car sales lot and a loyal CC reader, sent me the link to their tongue-in-cheek ad for this splendid Custom Cruiser)
1991 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser Station Wagon, with a 5.0L V8 lurking in the engine bay, odometer reads only 226,543 miles. This boulevard barge was previously owned by a small bear or large dog as it appears an animal did eat some of the interior. There is room in the back for a family of two adults and five children, with a bonus room for the mother-in-law in the basement (spare tire wheel well). But wait, there’s more!
This car/boat/barge/container ship has a few minor dents on the passenger side. The bear/dog owner/driver mentioned above apparently was not licensed to drive, and when delivering newspapers, actually drove on the sidewalk, with obvious and catastrophic results. No worries, these dents will most likely buff out just fine.
The driver’s seat appears to be permanently fixed in the fully reclined position.
However, the seat does include the rare factory option of a Lime Green Bungee Cord support strut for the driver’s complete comfort and safety (Note: Other Bungee Cord seat support color options for this vehicle back in the day included “Road Rage Red” and “Broke Down at the Saginaw I-5 Rest Stop Blue”).
The front passenger seat is equipped with a standard white pull chord for emergency ejection from the vehicle in case of an… um, emergency.
When this amazing behemoth first came to us, and before one of our ASE-Certified Cat Mechanics did some basic maintenance on it, the engine sounded like a decommissioned 1949 Union Pacific Railroad Locomotive, but without all the whistles and steam. Now, the engine purrs, like… one of our ASE-Certified Cat Mechanics (after lunch with his feet up on the break room table). Actually, the engine does run smoothly and sound good.
We are asking $1995 for this spectacular example of Detroit Heavy Metal (vehicle is subject to prior sale), with our pricing justification being: 1) It’s a running, driving near classic, and we can put whatever price we want to on it, and 2) In trying to make the world a better place by promoting Love, Joy, Hope and Peace, we encourage laughter and enjoy the sound of people laughing.
When we are not putting up a ridiculous ad like this on Craigslist, the St. Vinnie’s Car Lot at 1175 Hwy 99 North in Eugene has cars, trucks, boats and other vehicles for sale. The tax-deductible donation of your vehicle helps local families and individuals in need and plays an important role in helping fund St. Vincent de Paul’s charitable outreach programs such as Affordable Housing, Emergency Services, Employment Solutions, Veterans Assistance and more. We accept car, truck, motorcycle, boat, RV and other vehicles. St. Vincent de Paul Society of Lane County thanks you for your continued support.
When you donate or purchase a vehicle from St. Vincent de Paul, you are helping people in YOUR community!
We are currently accepting donations of Appliances! We take refrigerators, stoves, washers and dryers. Free pick up, call (541) 345-0595.
I think I’ll pass on this one, but they do seem to have a nice supercharged Park Avenue for $3k that looks like a solid deal!
All it needs is a 2″ lift kit and some winter tires and you are all set for EXBRO7, you can share the sumptuous sleeping lounge area with a 55gallon drum of gasoline!
The interior is exactly the same as my mother’s 1995 Caprice wagon, except for the passenger front dash which does not have that vital second airbag. And probably that 5.0 doesn’t have as much pep as the LT1 in my mom’s station wagon.
I miss these cars so much.
This is what we used to call in the newspaper business, an ‘advertorial’. lol For a very good cause, in this case.
Nice Custom Cruiser. Easily recognize the plastic quality and carpet textures as early 90s GM. However, appealing an old school wagon is, if only for nostalgia, a minivan made so much more sense. My sister owned a 1991 Chev Lumina APV, and that van with the 3.8 litre V6, was remarkably durable and long lasting. Over 450,000kms on the odometer when she and her husband took it to the scrapyard. With more than ample room for people and cargo. More practical usable room and spaciousness, than this Olds. The only real shortcomings were very average fuel economy, and the compromised forward visibility.
I’d roll the dice on a car like his if it wasn’t a continent away. This is the kind of car that GM always did best. The mechanicals are proven. The mileage is a bit high but at this cars age at least you know that it’s been used and not degrading from sitting. The price of trucks is stupid nowadays and for 2K this is a bargain by comparison and it would do most anything a truck would, almost.
Gross.
(I say that as an Oldsmobile fan.)
I actually kind of like it and the body seems to be in overall decent shape.
I’ll just try not to think about what happened to the top of the front door cards.
Big dogs riding on the window sills and/or wanting to get out?
Ah, the irony of the dash cover to protect the car’s interior!
LOL! Good observation.
Not so keen on these cars, but that ad! Awesome! And a great cause. Although I am thinking maybe Sasquatch was the past owner.
Unfortunately, you are close on that assessment. We have security camera video footage from about a month ago, clearly showing Sasquatch walk onto our lot around 3 AM on a Sunday morning. The Big Dude headed straight for this ’91 Olds Cruiser wagon, broke into the car, and promptly stole the stereo system out of it (I mean, come on, what’s the street value of a crappy old stereo — besides, who in their right mind would buy anything from Sasquatch). Sometimes, we just can’t catch a break… Dave B.
1995? As in U.S. dollars?
Hmm. What few of these survive in my part of the country have great interiors but rusty bodies. A guy could make a pretty decent car out of one of those and this.
The rear tires still have the protective blue stuff on the whitewalls, so at least a pair of new tires is part of the deal. Anyway, what sort of animal eats vinyl?
A very angry and/or anxious one. 🙁
Funny you should ask. I just spent the weekend with my parents, and one of the stories they enjoyed telling to my own kids was about our first dog, Casey, and all of the trouble he got into. He was a terrier, and among other things, he loved to eat vinyl.
Apparently he ate all of the vinyl baseboards from our house, lots of vinyl bags, and ate the vinyl upholstery from our kitchen chairs. Mom described Casey as “the dumbest dog in the world.” Not too much love between Casey and my folks after a while, and they finally got rid of him when I was about 10 years old.
So, evidently some misguided animals do, in fact, eat vinyl.
As a fan of B-body wagons, even I find this one tough to love in this condition. Everyone complains about the plasticky interiors on the whale B’s, but ironically the plastic has held up well here but the vinyl, which people don’t complain about, is horribly mangled. I think the ad writer is right, only an animal can account for this level of damage. Love the ad! Only humor can do this car justice.
Coincidentally, a few years ago I wrote a full CC on a 91 CC, an exact match to this car except for colors, cloth, and condition.
https://www.curbsideclassic.com/curbside-classics-american/curbside-classic-1991-oldsmobile-custom-cruiser-last-act-for-a-long-roof/
Nothing here indicates animal chewing .
I’ve rehabbed and resold more than a few that dogs, mice, rats and squirrels had chewed up the upholstery on .
This is just e more high miler survivor with the usual wear .
I agree, it’s clean up easily if a rusty / wrecked / grandparents donor could be found .
Also agreed it will make a dandy light truck , I wonder if the A/C can be bought back to life ? .
Simple and durable, too bad no one wants to buy new cars like this .
-Nate