eBay Find: 1970 Plymouth Valiant – Prepare Your Red Flags



I am all done with cars, this is the first one that has to go. Many a story can begin with those words and we have no idea on how it would end.

eBay is perhaps a more sensible place to buy a car than craigslist, if only because the average craigslist listing has no guarantee of being truthful or relevant. Nevertheless, there’s always some ads that make you question the seller’s intentions or the article they’re selling. This Valiant looks innocent enough; but as we all know from that time we thought that tin can had butter cookies on it but it only had knitting supplies, appearances can be deceiving.


I’ll be the first one to compliment the sheer honesty of the Plymouth Valiant, especially as the ‘70s rolled around. The flamboyant styling and toilet-seat trunklid of the ’60s was a distant memory at this point and it its place a perfectly reasonable vehicle for anyone that wasn’t particularly interested in showing the world who he was by what he drove. Just a couple of feet of sensibleness offered in either two or four doors for the discerning motorist that valued…value above else. Call it projecting but I get the sense that if these were actually produced in 1960 they’d be made by Studebaker rather than Plymouth. The seller has tried to do the same thing in the listing, noting some problems like a leaky steering pump and warning that the gauges do not work “extremely well” However, there’s still a couple of problems.


Just from the start you can get to see the warning signs on it, or rather the warning date. Two years are quite enough time to have the mystical forces of entropy to wreak havoc on the shiny paint and seemingly flawless interior in the ad. Even if the owner does fess up tot he fact there are some bumps and dents on it. But why wouldn’t he bother to go out and maybe take a couple of shots with his phone. He also mentions that the car has an A/C system in the trunk. could that air conditioning unit in the trunk be in exactly the same way it is in the listing, and even if it is, why is it in the trunk and not installed?


If, and this is an if so large you can’t carry it without alerting various health and safety offices that you’re moving a very large if, the body is still in the condition it is there’s still the oily bits to take care of. A slant six may very well be one of the toughest engines made but even then go wrong from time to time. Still, if you want to drive what normal people drove in 1970, the listing is here. Hope this doesn’t make you give up on cars.