How do you think I really keep CC going? dePaul’s (as in de man) Official Curbside Classic Sales Lot, of course. Business is a bit slow, and the first of the month is just around the corner, so now that I have a captive audience of fourteen, I need you all to start putting your money where your mouths are, and start buying Curbside Classics, not just talking about them. I’ve got this sweet Mark VII for Sajeev; educatordan will look fine in that navy Fifth Avenue; that blue Cutlass has larsupreme written all over it. We’ve got just the ticket for every one of you CC readers…
Help me out here folks; I know at least one or more of you is a big lover of these big-hipped LHs. And shrunken-head Caddies; we’ve got several of those. I’ll throw in a spare 4.1 motor in the trunk; plenty of them out back. Gen1 Sable and Taurus wagon; a perfect choice for a his and her’s combo. No reasonable offer refused. Guaranteed to have at least two forward gears left.
Someone head over to TTAC and give a shout out about these pristine Panthers (I’m on the black list there temporarily, for putting up a comment suggesting that if folks were tired of hearing about the Ray Wert – Jack Baruth pissing match and wanted to read about cars, they should head over here. So someone else is going to have to be my proxy spammer).
Who’ll make me an offer on that early Caravan? If you’re in real luck, it might even have the turbo four. Now I know we have at least two or three furrin’ car lovers at CC, so here’s a Mazda 929 that looks so much like an American car, I actually allowed it on the front row. That’s normally a strict no-no.
Foreign cars, as well as ones from other galaxies, have to share to share the middle row.
Here’s the pride of the front row. This DeVille sports the ultra-rare brushed-suede top option. It won’t last, literally.
Now I know who’s name is on this swell 1973 Olds 88: geeber. I take PayPal, my friend, and I might be able to arrange Drive-Away delivery, but if you take that option, you’ll need to front an extra $1000 for gas; this puppy has a Rocket 455, you know. What do you think: 7, 8 mpg?
Here’s what I suggest for some of you to save on delivery costs: I’ll make a a twofer deal on one of these fine trucks, and we’ll weld up a tow bar out back for you to haul your cream puff home. I’ve got a slew of bicycles (don’t ask how I got them) we’ll cut up; their frames are perfect for the job.
If ya got yer eyes on that Conti, and yer a bit worried about those saggin’ air bag springs; no worries on that account. I’ve got a gas-powered compressor we’ll throw in the trunk, and it’ll keep those bags so stiff, your eyes’ll be jiggling the whole way home.
Now back here is where we keep the cars that will never sell that are a bit more challenging to sell. Might be a small detail like a busted transmission or hydro-locked engine, but don’t let that discourage you. There’s a Pick and Pull just down the road, and I’ve arranged a special 10% discount for all my customers.
Now there’s another of them mini-Caddies. Perfect for these high gas price times. And no; it’s engine hasn’t been yanked and dropped in a Citation, although that does make for a fun ride…here; I’ll prove it.
This baby has Digital Fuel Injection and makes 475 hp. It’ll smoke those yuppie Bimmers and newfangled Caddies, even with those tiny 14″ tires. Or because of them. New ones are only $48 bucks a piece at Wal Mart. How much d’ya think a set for a CTS-V will set ya back?
Anyway, Caddy-powered Citations are so yesterday. Drop that 4.1 into this Isuzu/Geo/Whatever Thing, and you’ll really impress them back home. It’s a GM car, right? So it’s a plug and play swap.
If you’re local, or thinking of moving here to Curbside Classic Land, I might suggest one of these Eugene-mobiles. You’ll fit right in.
Now if you’re really hard to please, and just haven’t been inspired yet, that’s ok, because I’ve kept my best cars for last. Here is a gem of a Skylark. The fact that it’s surrounded by pedal-powered vehicles in no way has anything to do with the intrinsic goodness and reliability of this Baby Buick. Let’s step into my office and talk…what; still not good enough? OK; I’ll show you the special, but only because you’ve hung in there and haven’t driven off yet.
There it is! And it’s strictly reserved for the CC loyals only. Readers of Jalopnik, Hooniverse, Bring a Trailer, TTAC; whatever: don’t even bother. You’ll be asked what car was featured in CCCCC Part 2, so forget it.
Now this gem of a one-owner Vega should sell itself on just this one picture alone at the special CC price of $1495. But if you’re the Nervous Nellie type and really need to take a closer look, I’ll be putting up a separate post here ASAP (too many pics tend to slow down our old 1996 vintage servers someone donated). But by that time, it’ll undoubtedly be sold, so you can consider that article a consolation prize, and cry into your coffee for not calling me and giving me your credit card number, SS #, driver’s license, home address, and a scanned copy of your birth certificate (passport is an acceptable alternative). I’ve got bills to pay too, you know.