Good morning, everybody. I’m nurse T87. We have a new patient with us in group today. I’ll do the introductions, if you wish. This is Subaru Pleo Nesta, who will be joining us from now on and until this bad case of Mecedesophaly retroiditis can be taken care of.
Well, are we too shy to address the group? There really is no need to feel ashamed. I read from your file that this nasty and debilitating case of retro styling affected you between June 1999 and January 2004, while you were still a little kei. That must have been painful. Won’t you tell us what happened? No? I must stress again that there is no reason to feel ashamed – we will see you through to a cure, even if it kills you.
I’m kidding of course. So aside from those kooky quads and the silly chrome grille, what symptoms are you displaying? Let’s seen the back of you. No need to feel ashamed. Oh my word! Those are some really atrociously malformed rear light clusters. I’ll let Dr Niedermeyer know and he will prescribe you some topical ointment. You seem agitated. Should I recommend a course of EV shocks to see if that calms you down? What’s that? You can’t because you’re internally combusting? Oh, yes. I can smell that now. No reason to feel ashamed, please. We’re professionals, we’ve seen, heard and smelled it all before. Not that we necessarily want to do so again. Let’s keep our exhaust to ourselves, ok?
Have you been taking the treatment that we have prescribed to you these past few days? I must stress that you really have to take it every morning, noon and night. It will calm you down and hopefully take care of this Nesta affliction you have. Within a few months, you may well turn back into a plain regular Pleo and you could re-join your range. Wouldn’t that be nice? No more of these delusions of grandeur about being a baby Benz when all you pack is 660cc. You really have been damaged, haven’t you. Don’t feel embarrassed, it’s okay. That’s what we’re here for, to cure you.
Now, I understand that Dr Klein and Professor Andreina have pioneered a surgical procedure they call a Benzectomy, which could shorten your stay with us by a considerable amount. There are a few risks involved, of course. Not keen on the surgical option? Then we had better start taking our medication every day and be nice to everyone, hadn’t we? That means no more cheating at cards and making Mitsuoka Ray cry, and no more teasing Mitsubishi Flying Pug about the name – that’s mean. Yes, I know it’s hard to resist, but it really is uncalled for. And so was that headlamp roll. I’m sorry, what did you call me?
Well, we have got a big mouth on us, haven’t we. You ought to be ashamed. Do you want me to tell your parent company what you just said to me? It might be a good time for you to take a nap, rather than disturb the group with your nastiness. I will call our orderlies, Mr Justy and Mr Bryce, who will escort you “down under.” That’s how we call the padded garage we have in the basement. We’ll let you settle in and see how you are in a little while. In the meantime, I’ll ask our pharmacist Dr Cavanaugh to ratchet up your medication. Off with you now, Nesta.
Looks like its transitioning into a Kia Amanti
Some young Turks at Subaru may have had visions of becoming the next Mitsuoka but the Board of Directors cut off their allowance before they finished.
A handy little device, its wonderful how the Japanese feel no need to macho-up every car they design. As a resident of Japan can you give us the inside story on why this is?
The Japanese have outlawed macho.
I believe Step 2 did a better version of this car:
We may have even covered it or one of its progenitors here:
https://www.curbsideclassic.com/uncategorized/preschool-classics-introducing-young-minds-to-the-joy-of-cars/
I can see a little Wolseley Hornet in that face.
Good eye! Though maybe it’s a Riley Elf.
I’d love to know what kind of drug haze the designer saw a Toyota Aristo thru, I think thats the model, they use a lot more car behind the frontal styling though and the effect isnt near as bad, oh well some one bought it.
The look works better with better proportions….
Clearly a misdiagnosis, Dr. T. It’s obviously Wolsleyophaly retroiditis. And given the Japanese love for these British cars, it’s no surprise.
It’s a Lancia Aprilia larva.
The symptoms include a pinched and uptight look. Sourpuss Syndrome perhaps. Or too much time spent on the Pleo Diet. Not sure, will have to consult the professor. But I’m pretty sure the antidote includes a 500km jaunt to the edge of the island (or beyond) where proper social distance can be practiced…Well away from everyone, for good.
I’m glad we covered this one, if only to say we covered it. But let’s really cover it back up though.
Poor Pleo. He flapped and flapped, but he fell, and sideways he landed.
Looked alright when he was two feet wider, but alas.
Pinched and endulled as now he is, I am sure he is in good hands with these well-intentioned ministrations of Dr T.
Who, btw, can be satisfied that Mr Bryce and Mr Myself have stored him below with care, indeed so much so that we will never see his like again.
Please show us on the doll where the stylist touched you.
1 1/2 wider – looks normal.
Anyone know how wide this thing is?
This is what happens when you spend too much time with the Mitsuokas
Have you ever seen or covered the Toyota Fun Cargo? Strange looking car with a stranger name. The Japanese kei cars have to be understood as inexpensive, practical, and practically disposable. I’ve known people in Japan who bought them and never did any maintenance, oil changes, etc. whatsoever. If you poke around a used car lot in Japan the first thing that surprises you is the absurdly low mileage on the cars. I think many people get rid of their car with the original set of tires needs replacing (bald tires on the used car lot seem epidemic).