CC Karaoke: Škoda


»strum, pluck-pluck-pluck, strum« aHEM! »strum«

In 1970, the Kinks had a giant hit with “Lola”, a song about a young man’s encounter with a cross-dressed club patron:

Inspiration struck me like lightning one day in 2007, and three verses of a parody came to me spontaneously—but then I got stuck. My talented parodist friend Paul Todd (RIP; miss ya) pitched in and we got the job done, so here it is. It’s sung to the tune of “Lola”—or Weird Al’s “Yoda”, if you prefer—and it’s called “Škoda”.

(»Strummm…strummm…strumma-strum-strumma-strum-STRUMMM!«)

I saw it in a ditch by the side of the road
I was walking on foot ’cause my own car needed a mota;
M-O-T-A, Mota.

I walked up to it and I gave it a look
And under all the mud it was a rusty, carbureted Škoda;
Š-koh-dee-yay, Škoda;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum-STRUMMMM!«)

Well I’m laid-back but I think it’s a joke
How it won’t start unless I put a stick in the choke of my Škoda;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-da.

And I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why it sounds like a dumptruck full of old beer cans,
oh my Škoda;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahh
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahhhhh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum-STRUMMMM!«)

Well it leaked oil and grease and looked a fright/
Under the glare of the streetlight/
The dashboard fell down across my chest/
and I said, “Oh, look, another seven mouse nests!”

Well I’m not the world’s most mechanical guy/
But with mud in my eye, well, I think I fell for my Škoda.
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahh;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahhhhh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum-STRUMMMM!«)

Škoda!
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahh;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahhhhh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum-STRUMMMM!«)

I pushed it away!
I opened the door!
I fell through the floor!
I got up on my knees…
And I looked at it and mumbled “Please?”

So that’s the way that I want it to stay,
And I hope I’ll make it to work today in my Škoda;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-da.

Chevs be rolets and Olds be mobiles,
Just you listen to that high-pitched Czech’slovakian squeal from my Škoda;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-da!

Well, my car quit just a week before!
And I’d never ever drove a Škoda before,
But invention’s mother is necessity;
I use a screwdriver ’cause I ain’t got the key!

My dee-luxe membership with triple-A/
Means the tow truck driver never makes me pay
for my Škoda;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-da;
Ško-Ško-Ško-ško-Ško-dahhhh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum«) Škohhhh-da!
Ško-Ško-Ško-ška-Ško-dahh! Ško-Ško-Ško-ška-Škohh-dahh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum«) Škohhhh-da!
Ško-Ško-Ško-ška-Ško-dahh! Ško-Ško-Ško-ška-Škohh-dahh!
(»strumma-strum-strumma-strum«) Škohhhh-da!
Ško-Ško-Ško-ška-Ško-dahh! Ško-Ško-Ško-ška-Škohh-dahh!
(…etc, fade out…)
[Lyrics copyright © 2021 all rights reserved]

Now you’ve had a read-through, hit Play here—look, ma, no vocals!—and join on in:


 
Surely I can’t be the only one to have written curbivorous lyrics to existing songs, so…who’s up next?