I had to giggle a little bit when I saw this 1965 Falcon and 1967 Galaxie in this repair shop in the Tenderloin.
I couldn’t help but think of that little General Motors putdown I heard all through my childhood: Why would I want a Fix Or Repair Daily? Totally unfair to these 40+ year old beauties, but the things that stick with us from our youth.
And how can I judge them when these standards of the world from 50 years ago were in for a little therapy too yesterday? Whomever is without (mechanical) judgement, cast the first stone. If only the Valiant in the corner could be so smug…
There was also Ford = “Found On Road, Dead.”
Or: Fords Only Run Downhill.
Being a Ford guy I prefer “First On Race Day”
I saw one for Chevy once:
my favorite…Fix It Again Tony.
Ford: F’ed-up Old Rebuilt Dodge
Chevrolet: Car Has Excessive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
Pontiac: Poor Old Nut Thinks It’s A Caddy
Mopar: Mostly Old Paint And Rust
Mopar: Move Over, Plymouth Approaching Rapidly!
I’ve heard most of those, plus the Pontiac one with a racist slant added in (replace “Nut” with…well, you get the idea). 🙁
Ferric Oxide Research & Development
First On Race Day
I’ve this one, Fouled Over Ridden Datsun.
Along with Found On Road Dead
But that WAS over 30 years or so ago now.
We had a ’71 Ford Custom that was dead reliable. Bought it from a Gov’t car auction in the mid 70’s, drove it several years, sold it to a friend of my youngest sister and her then husband (who ran off several years ago) around 1980 or so.
They took it to Panama where he was stationed for the Army where it was sold there after they had it a good long while and as far as she knows, it’s probably still running along down down there if it’s not all rusted out completely by now.
Heard these on a radio commercial in FL in the mid-90’s:
Dodge-Drips Oil Daily in Garages Everywhere
Buick-Big Ugly Inexpensive Caucasian Klunker
Replace ‘Caucasian’ with “Crappy” and you’ve got it!
Seems totally random, but I’ve also heard this:
Flip Over Read Directions
Natty Inspirational Show Stopping Automobiles…. Not
to add some international flavour:
Ford = Für Ossis Reicht Das (will do for east-germans)
MoPar = My old pig ain’t runnin’
My favorite is my own creation:
Chevrolet (F-Bomb)lander LS: Chevrolet (F-Bomb)lander Load of $#!£
My prayer of hatred for the Chevy:
Dear Lord, PLEASE send every Uplander and it’s corporate cousins to the twelfth level of the fiery pits of H-E-L-L! Amen.
Probably Losing Yet More Oil Under The Hood
As a dedicated Fordista, I’d be all over that ’67 Galaxie convertible. Loved the shops sign also: “Our 39th year in this hole in the wall”!
First On Race Day.