Back in June I had 21 ash trees removed from my yard. All of them were killed by the emerald ash borer. The tree service gave me hardship pricing, but it still cost more than both of my two little cars are worth together. The tree people took as much care as they could to protect my turf, but they had no choice but to drive enormous lift trucks all over my suburban yard, drop heavy logs onto the ground, and grind out all those stumps. It left my yard looking like war-torn Syria. So I’ve made a bunch of trips to Home Depot and Lowe’s, and even to Walmart and Meijer (midwestern Walmart-like big-box store) for endless bags of dirt, grass seed, fertilizer, and even nine boxwood bushes, as bit by bit I restored the landscape. It was on one of those trips that I came upon this BMW 2002.
These weren’t common here in Rustopia. It’s unusual to see one at all. But I can’t imagine carrying leaking bags of dirt, compost, and peat moss home in one, like I did in my Focus. That stuff soiled the carpet cover in the hatchback. But whatevs, you know? A quick hit with my carpet cleaner and it’ll look like new. Even if I never get to it, it’s an old Ford with a lot of miles. It’s passed the point where ground-in schmutz can hurt its resale value.
Or maybe the kind of person who drives a vintage BMW to Home Depot has the scratch to buy the big-ticket items there, such as all new kitchen appliances, and have them delivered. If that’s the case, I’ll be Home Depot would love to see its parking lots full of 2002s. Because dirt just isn’t a high-margin business.