CC Sales Lot, Midwest Branch: Something For Everyone


Never let it be said good ideas shouldn’t be shamelessly plagiarized expanded to enrich the lives of others.  With the continued success of the CC Sales Lot, we wanted to open a branch more centrally located in North America.

But let’s go ahead and address that elephant in the room:  This isn’t Eugene, Oregon, so the cars here are a bit more, uh, established.  But this newest CC Sales Lot is close to the interstate, so it’s only a short drive from wherever you are.


Even for our friends in New Zealand, traveling from Auckland is just an oil change away.  So, let’s take a look at our large and ever-expanding inventory – sure to make you salivate, daydream, and open your wallet.  Like all car sales lots, prices are negotiable.


When was the last time you saw a ’55 Dodge two-door?  This jewel can be yours for only $3,499 cash or twelve easy payments of $450, plus $300 for tax, title, and document fees.


Look at that!  It’s a three-speed so you don’t have to dink around with that two-speed Powerflite and your sweetie can still snuggle up with you at the drive-in movie.


Don’t fret, a good wash and wax and this jewel will look like new!


If you like red, but desire something a bit more petite, here’s this red Opel.  Just add a squirt of fuel and she’s ready to drive to her new home, for only $7,250 cash.


Maybe she does have a lazy eye, but that’s no step for a stepper.  If you weren’t a stepper, you wouldn’t be looking, now would you?  Even the tires are in good shape, which is fortunate, as tires in this size are getting quite scarce.


Of course, a fair number of our customers are looking for something more versatile than an Opel.  So could I interest you in a good, solid F-150 for $1,795?  It will haul or pull just about anything you need to move.


Then again, maybe you are the romantic, outdoors type who relishes a day of off-road fun and adventure.  Here is a 4×4 F-150 with its very own hot tub – FREE!  Nothing is quite as charming as sharing bath water with someone after a sweaty day of new and exciting wilderness adventure.

Please note there are some annoying little punks in the neighborhood and they love letting air out of tires.  Don’t worry, I’ll give you all the air you need.


Plus, if you or your main-squeeze are the modest type, I’ve also thrown in your very own portable privacy fence!  Love is truly in the air!  It’s yours for only $1,995.


Sadly, not all vehicles are built for play.  If you have trees to trim, painting to do, or install any type of advertising or outdoor lighting, here is the ticket for you – this rugged and hard-working F-350 bucket truck.  With an ample weight rating for even the best fed of us, this money making bucket truck can be earning you money tomorrow for only $4,999 today.  Don’t pass this one by.


Worried about the cost of fuel?  Take your pick from one of these red J-cars for only $1,799 each or $3,598 for the pair.


These are so nice, if you don’t acquire both, your significant other will be red with rage.  Deals like this just don’t last long.


For those of you more cognizant of style, forget those J-cars.  How about this LeBaron convertible?  Black cars exude confidence and sophistication; your friends will think you’ve spent a fortune, but you will get the last laugh as you will have only paid $2,995!


Looking for the ultimate in personal luxury?  You have come to the right place as this ’78 Cordoba is the best example of fine automotive craftsmanship for miles around.  Stacked headlamps are one of the ultimate signs of good taste and timeless design.


Sadly, the wheels have been liberated by those punks in the neighborhood.  Don’t fret, a good set of whitewalls and wire wheel covers will soon be gracing the pride of Ricardo Montalban.


Speaking of the grace and elegance of stacked headlamps, this Dodge conversion van is just the ticket for your next family vacation.  Pack up the kids, the in-laws, even all the in-laws kids!  There is room enough for everyone.


This Dodge is the essence of everything that is a conversion van.  Can’t you just imagine basking in the unparalleled luxury while piloting this fine chariot on exciting new adventures?  $3,999 and the dream can be reality.


Having taunted you with the front row, let’s take a look at it.  Feast your eyes on this ’58 Oldsmobile Dynamic 88.  Teddy Roosevelt said to talk softly and carry a big stick; this Olds is talking as softly and seductively as Marilyn Monroe.


Wouldn’t you know it?  This Olds comes to us from west central Oregon, which explains the moss growing out from behind the chrome.  Don’t worry, she is as solid as a Sherman Tank; most people will call it a Sherman Tank!  Scoff at the skeptics with twice the fuel economy!


Ranchero’s of this vintage are a rare breed, indeed.


Quite the cream puff, it looks like the only thing she has hauled is air mattresses and goose feathers.  Rock-and-roll for $4,599.


Of all the cars on the lot, this ’70 Edsel Pontiac convertible is the bomb.  She looks good from the front and


the back.  We’ve been calling it the Mullet Machine.  Why?  A lot of folks born in 1970 sported a mullet at some point.  This $6,499 Pontiac is no different.


It’s business in the front


with a big old party in the back!  You can party like it’s still 1999!


The Pontiac is so radiant, this poor thing is almost sunburned…

We pride ourselves in catering to all form of clientele.  Most want a car or truck they can drive off the lot.  Some want a car or pickup they can form into their own image; treat it as a blank slate, if you will.  For the weekend project, we offer you the following:


How about a nice touring sedan?  While it is generating some income by holding a sign for the antique store next door,


it is a Dodge Brothers product.  When was the last time you saw one on a car lot?  That’s what I thought!  We haven’t yet determined if it has the infamous gear reduction starter.


Here is more for you Mopar fans with this Chrysler.


Some rubbing compound and a new set of tires should get her back on the road in no time flat.  Be the envy of many with a vintage Chrysler.


For the highly industrious and widely talented, we have this.  We have even named her Patina Galore, a name inspired by a James Bond movie.  Nobody here has a freaking clue as to what it is,


although it could benefit from a tune-up and a valve adjustment.


We offer a full line of services, with our own Ford F-3 tow truck,


and a Chevrolet shop truck that is always ready to assist.  Yes, those little punks struck again.


New inventory is arriving daily, such as this Mercedes 380 SE


and this Toyota Celica.  These Celica’s are hot items in Figure 8 racing, so it could go quickly.


Lastly, for the traditionalists, we have just the things to make you feel at home, such as this A-body wagon


and this Panther.  These last two are here strictly for decoration as any used car lot is totally incomplete without them.

Hope to see you soon at the newly opened midwest branch of the CC Sales Lot.