QOTD: Demolition Derbies?


There are very few things that really annoy me in life. Politicians kissing old ladies, people with a no-fault attitude, and the existence of the Hyundai EON are a constant source of niggling. But one of the worst things, in your author’s opinion, are demolition derbies.

It has always been a fault of mine to give certain animistic qualities to things I possess. Every cell phone that I’ve owned is essentially a circuit board with a battery and a screen attached to it, yet I still felt like I was losing a companion when I replaced some of them. Cars are especially likeable, I’m sure most all of us agree. As they age and take you on many adventures, you get to know their quirks as they develop and they develop a sort of “character”. Other people simply go, “Eep! A quirk!” and proceed to replace them with the next beigemobile that comes off the line and perhaps always associate a healthy dose of negative equity with their old car. Cars that are already at the bottom of the pecking order get crashed or scrapped if they are lucky.


If they are not scrapped, they enter the world of demolition derbies. Here, insult is added to injury and participants make sure that the poor car’s last run is filled with pain and suffering as a crowd gathers to see the refrigerators-to-be get smashed, crashed and bashed until they have no useable components or body panels in them. Yeah, see that Tempest front wing that could mean the difference between a restoration and a GTO clone? Shame, because some 22 year old in a ’97 Civic has crashed into it and rendered it useless.


Some people would see them as cars given one last blaze of glory before they are broken down and resurrected as consumer goods and perhaps even other cars. Most wouldn’t think that fair and just enjoy the senseless and, in the grand scheme of things, harmless fun. I just see histories crashing into each other. Every car has a story, has it not? Would you cringe if you saw a car that you used to own being crushed for fun and profit? 73ImpCapn doesn’t have anything to fear. Partly because I’m sure his amazing 1973 Imperial LeBaron will be taken to a demolition derby over his dead body, but mostly because Imperials are banned from demolition derbies for being just so damn strong and well-built. Lord knows how many they went through before reaching that conclusion!

But what about you? Am I being just a Big Girl’s Blouse and reading far too much into cars that have to be incapable of being registered to end up there? Or is it really a cringeworthy thing to watch?